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Friday May 30, 2015 DAY 83 I AM BACK
I missed a day blogging. I was on a pretty good stretch there for awhile. I shall try to resume my faithfulness. It seemed a few things beyond my control were happening and the evening got away from me without a blog AND WITHOUT A POEM!
Today felt like a bit of a holiday after the beginning of the week. It seemed I had so much to do on the computer for planning the rest of the trip that I felt like I actually needed a holiday. So today I took it. Probably not much of a holiday to brag about but I slept in! The latest yet! It was after 8:30 a.m. before I awoke. Then I commenced to sorting through ALL MY PARAPHERNALIA, most of which I don’t need; trashed some, packed up tight some of the other, and organized all the rest for the days ahead. I have two more places where I will be staying longer than two nights. When I stay two night someplace that gives me one entire day to enjoy who I am with. Arrive in the evening, go to bed, enjoy a day, sleep, and get up and leave. Sometimes too short. Sometimes just right, Sometimes too long? It’s never too long for me but that probably depends on parallax of the host. I’ve enjoyed everyplace I have been and all who I have been with. And, it never fails, I learn something each place I go. Sometimes I learn things that I’m not quite ready to share. Things about myself that I probably wish I didn’t have to learn. Actually, I hope I never get too old or too closed mind to keep learning about the world and about my personal self. The more we expose ourselves to others, the more we have our eyes opened, about both ourselves and the other. It is the lessons that ones learns about self that are sometimes the most difficult to learn. But, like I said, everyday I am learning.
I thank God for every experience on this journey. I have seen incredible work of nature’s art with God’s byline on each exhibit. Oh how I have loved the mountains and the sheer walls of granite and the beautiful softness of the green of the forest, the amazing girth of the Sequoia Giants, and the thunder, lightening, and downpour of a summer storm. I have experienced the view of horses grazing in soft pastures surrounded by the ruggedness of mountain peaks scaling the sky just a few hundred feet away. I have the seen the sky so dark with the cover of a cloud filled night that the blackness was impenetrable. And I have experienced the fierceness of planets and stars and satellites glimmering like glowing white diamonds, so close you feel as if you could reach up and touch one. I have watched the wildlife in abundance fighting the survivor dance against prey that would take their life in a split second should they drop their guard. And I have been on freeways of 12 lanes going in one directions with cars being driven by maniacs fighting the same fight. I have heard the sound of great waves crashing against giant boulders protruding from the ocean floor and the gentle sound of the patter of rain on a window. And as I look back, and remember and think about what I have experienced, I have a great joy wash over me because I know I have more to come.
Though my trip is “officially: 2/3 lived I still have 1/3 to go if I live on this earth long enough. And if I don’t live on this earth long enough, just imagine all that I will be experiencing in heaven. My time the past two months has passed so quickly and I know the last third will probably pass even faster (sort of like how the years speed up as you age), but I plan to enjoy each and every moment. PLAN is the operative word. I choose to enjoy. My attitude says I WILL ENJOY. I intentionally believe that I will enjoy every single moment. That means the packing, the loading up, the unloading, writing my blog, doing things differently, eating different kinds of foods, meeting people I don’t know, driving long hours on twisting mountain roads, sleeping in new beds every other night or so, not knowing what to expect, I STILL EXPECT I WILL ENJOY EVERY MOMENT! And that also means the times the Lord is teaching me, something new, or something old that I just haven’t got the hang of yet. Sometimes it’s those “old” things that take the most teaching, over and over and over…..And I say, Thank You Lord for loving me enough to teach me until I get it right!
So, tomorrow morning I will pack up my car and hit the road once again. And this moment will be gone. So I look forward and never back. My memories will stay with me, all the smiles I have tucked into my heart along the way, the lessons I’ve learned, the confidences that have been shared, the places I’ve gone, the people I’ve met, the pictures I’ve taken, but this particular moment of time and place will be gone, and will be cherished. I say goodbye once again to those I love. Not with sadness, but with joy for all the hours and moments we have shared. A simple space in time where our lives have once again crossed, once again influenced each other, shared both laughter and tears, joys and sorrows. And I leave a better person for having lived these past days with my extended family. I can only hope that their lives have been blessed by mine. I hope they have learned something from me as I have from them. Thank you cousins for your love and generosity and hospitality!
I look forward to tomorrow and the next day. I will be reunited with my new love! This time a new place, a new state, and more of God’s exquisite artwork. I am going to the coast. Not just any coast, BUT THE OREGON COAST. I hear it is spectacular! What can I say? I just love the ocean.
From the time I was 6 until I was 12 we lived in a little town that was caressed by the San Francisco Bay waters. It might as well been the mightiest ocean because it was too far to see across. It had a sandy little beach (that seemed big at the time) and one lone tree. I thought it was paradise. It was about 1 to 2 miles away. When I could walk I would trek there on a summer day with my cousins who came over the summer holiday and we would stay most of the day. We were all under about 9 years old and we would be there all day, by ourselves, no adult supervision, and come home blistered by the sun rays. And we survived. We had fun. And we suffered with our sunburns afterward. My mother once told me that if I ever got sunburned again she would give me a spanking I would’t forget once the sunburn was healed. I never let myself get sunburned again on that beach. (Later on other beaches?? Yes). Those days on the beach are wonderful memories. There was just one thing, there were no large, frothing, menacing waves. I enjoyed the beach but my love affair with the ocean didn’t really begin until my cousin Bill took me to see Monterey and Big Sur. Oh WOW! My heart did a flip flop and I’ve been hooked every since. There was a much shorter way to go on tomorrows trip that drive all the way over to the coast to tag along with the ocean on Hwy 101. But I have been assured it will be worth it. So…I’m going for it. Three hours of winding, winding, mountain roads before the ocean comes in view. I’ve been looking at those mountains for the past two weeks so I might as well go and get acquainted with them. I look forward to the mountains too. There are two hours of layover Monday through Saturday for construction work. Sunday has no lay over. Thus, I am driving on Sunday.
There is another story about the ocean I would like to share, but not now. It is a story of the supernatural and miracles. I’ll tell you another day. It is getting late, and I Must go to bed as I must get up early. Good night.
EVERY MOMENT JUST A LOAN
Kathleen Martens
May 30, 2015
Tomorrow’s hour of early morn
Time of renewal, a new day born.
What awaits is unknown,
Every moment just a loan.
Give to God what is His
And that goes without a quiz.
For every moment He paid the price
Through His son’s sacrifice.
Glory goes to God our King
And to remember this one thing.
His love surpasses understanding
And is never, ever commanding!
He asks that you would come
Sit awhile, meet His son.
The only way to heaven’s door.
Sit a spell, He’ll tell you more.
Sunday May 10 2015 DAY 64 WHAT A MIRACLE!
The first miracle is that I actually attempted to write a blog last night. I did not proof read it until now and I am embarrassed. If you read yesterday’s blog you might want to re-read it. I just hope I found all the mistakes.
Today was another one of those wonderful, full of new surprises and wonders. Just life alone is a new surprise to me every day. What a miracle each day is when I arise and know I am still here. There is nothing quite as beautiful as an undisturbed day, yet to be lived.
I attended my second Calvary Chapel Church on my trip. The last one was in Modesto two weeks ago. This morning’s service was quite a bit different that the previous Calvary Chapel. Different presentation of teaching. The message was very interesting and simply stated. It is always a fresh new experience to visit the churches where my friends attend. I love being able to picture in my mind where my friends live and worship.
After the church service we visited awhile with Rebecca’s friends, enjoyed some refreshments and then walked to her house. Yes, we walked. The church is actually two short blocks from where they live. Rebecca lives in an industrial park area. She and her husband manage a 660 unit storage area. The facility is enclosed with tall wrought iron fencing. There is a beautiful building inside the iron fencing which is the office area for the business. Above the office is a full 1600 square house. A beautiful dwelling place. It has large rooms with lots of windows all around it. The windows overlook the APPLE COMPUTER facility next door. There is around the clock surveillance at the Apple computer headquarters right next door. Being in a house, on the second floor, behind a locked gate, within the “compound” storage units makes me feel like we are protected. Protected from what I do not know. ‘
We both went to the gym where Rebecca is a member and worked out for over an hour. It felt so good. Please look below and note that I have posted a new picture. It is off Rebecca and Eddie and his son’s family (the only one of their five children that made it home for Mother’s Day. We had a feast around the table. Rebecca is such a good cook and seems to do it so effortlessly.
It was a really delightful time around the dinner table with Rebecca’s son and family.
Before the company arrived Eddie and Rebecca told me the story of their last 14 years. Here is the story of Eddie’s MIRACLE. It is a story with many lessons.
In 2001 Eddie developed a rash that was all over his body. It itched with an intensity of pain. He was treated by several doctors with creams and prescriptions. Nothing seemed to help. He went to several doctors only to be prescribed more salves and topical creams and medications. The suffering was intense. In 2006 Eddie was in the room with several doctors and each one had different ideas. Eddie raised his hands and exclaimed in a loud voice that that was it! To stop all the talk about prescriptions and creams and to find out what was wrong with him. He told them he would not take another pill or cream until they found out what was wrong no matter how long it took and how many tests it took. THAT WAS IT! So they did a blood test and said not to be concerned and they would call him with the results. No one called on the first day. No one called on the second day. On the third day he received a call and was told that he had to come in immediately.
Rebecca and Eddie went together. He was told he had T-Cell Lymphoma and that there were some treatments for it. His was in stage 4. The doctors talked to them for awhile and they left. As they walked out Rebecca said to Eddie, “I think they just told you that you have cancer”. Eddie said he didn’t hear the word cancer. All Rebecca knew was that lymphoma is cancer.
Again Eddie was put through many different treatments. After many “treatments” there were 4 more options since the previous 6 options had not helped. His T-Cell count was up to 30,000 when it should have been in the 250 count range. There were many situations that came up that led Eddie to being chosen to do trials at Stanford hospital. He knew someone who knew the leading Doctor at Stanford whose specialty was working with T-Cell lymphoma patients. When he saw this doctor she told him that anyone in his condition will be dead within one year. He was chosen (the 10th patient) to do a trial medication procedure to lower his T-Cell count. The telling of his story was horrendous as to what he went through. When the white blood cells were almost extinct (as he lived in isolation) he had a window of time when he would be able to have a bone marrow transplant. The bone marrow implant was also being done on trial. He was one of the first few to receive the transfusion in the manner I describe below.
Three live donors were found. The best match was a man in the armed service serving overseas at the time. The U.S. government actually flew him to the states so he could be the donor for Eddie’s transplant. There were so many grueling situations that Eddie had to go through to get to this point. Multiple biopsies in the flesh and in the pelvic bone. Several different procedures were done while he was awake due to certain situations. Unbelievably painful according to Eddie’s description.
The bone transfusion was actually not painful at all. It was just getting to that point where his body would be suppressed enough to not reject the new morrow that was grueling. In the not too distant past the bone marrow transplant procedure was much more complicated as the while bone cells were harvested from the donor’s bone marrow and then through surgery deposited into the recipients bone. Now, however, the donor has blood drawn and the lab extracts what is need out of the blood and the patient then receives it intravenously. The T-Cells deposited in the blood stream make their way into the bone and set up taking over if not rejected. Well, Eddie’s body did not reject them. He was hospitalized until is was safe for him to be with people again. The doctors told him if it worked it would take two and one half years before he felt back to normal. After the transfusion Eddie was unable to eat anything that was not cooked, drink no water that was not boiled for many months.
They waited. Once the food restrictions were removed Rebecca started him on a regime of healthy eating, no sugars, and additives that increased his healthy. Eddie said it was exactly two and one half years before his body felt like it was back to normal.
Eddie sat across from me today as he and Rebecca told the story, each adding a bit of their own feelings and facts to complete the story. I wish it had been recorded because I have left out more than half of the experiences they went through. The greatest lesson I learned while listening to this is that we must be our own best advocate. Four years he went from doctor to doctor before putting his foot down and saying NO MORE! Only then was he taken seriously and in two days he had a diagnosis. The second thing I learned was that you need a recorder with you so you can look up all the words the doctors tell you, especially when they skirt the issue of saying the word CANCER. Eddie walked out of that consultation not realizing he had just been given a cancer diagnosis. And the third thing is that you need to take someone with you to receive any news that comes from a telephone message telling you to come in immediately.
Eddie told so many other stories related to the hospital personnel that were so attentive and caring. Had it not been for diligent nurses willing to stay past their line of duty to get him over near death experiences he wouldn’t be here today. The doctors may have the education to diagnose (sometime), it is the hospital staff and nurses that do most of the work in the hours between the appointments. Eddie went through hundreds of hours of treatments, some with very serious results.
Today Eddie is alive and strong and leading a life with his family, his wife, 5 children and their mates, and all his grandchildren, (of which I have lost count) with more on the way. I remember all those years he was struggling for his life as I read the email messages sent out.
Even the doctors know that Eddie is a walking miracle. A miracle that he was diagnosed because this disease does not usually get diagnosed for up to 10 years after the first symptoms. A miracle that he was connected to the doctor in Stanford. Another miracle that his chart was perused by a doctor with the clinical trials in mind and saw that Eddie fit the criteria for the trials. Eddie went in for more blood work in March 2015 and was old that 29 patients have now had this treatment with a survival rate of about 50%. So it is working for some.
It worked for Eddie.
I am celebrating this time of life with Rebecca and Eddie. I told him I am so glad to see him alive. They are dear dear friends to us who we have know for 41 years. I thank God for this miracle!
I asked Eddie what his wisdom for the world would be. Here is his response:
“If I had one book to give you I would give you the Bible and tell you to read it for it is the map of life. Everything you need to know about living your life is in those pages.”
Rebecca’s wisdom is”
“When you choose your life mate for life remember you are TEAM MATES FOR LIFE — NOT ADVERSARIES!”
Please read the article below taken from a website regarding the SEZARY SYNDROME which interpreted means T-Cell Lymphome”
What is Sézary syndrome?
Sézary syndrome is an aggressive form of a type of cancer called cutaneous T-cell lymphoma. Cutaneous T-cell lymphomas occur when certain immune cells, called T cells, become cancerous; these cancers characteristically affect the skin, causing different types of skin lesions. In Sézary syndrome, the cancerous T cells are called Sézary cells and are found in the skin, lymph nodes, and blood. A characteristic of Sézary cells is an abnormally shaped nucleus, described as cerebriform.
People with Sézary syndrome develop a red, severely itchy rash (erythroderma) that covers large portions of their body. Sézary cells are found in the rash. However, the skin cells themselves are not cancerous; the skin problems result when Sézary cells move from the blood into the skin. People with Sézary syndrome also have enlarged lymph nodes (lymphadenopathy). Other common signs and symptoms of this condition include hair loss (alopecia), thickened skin on the palms of the hands and soles of the feet (palmoplantar keratoderma), abnormalities of the fingernails and toenails, and lower eyelids that turn outward (ectropion). Some people with Sézary syndrome are less able to control their body temperature than people without the condition.
The cancerous T cells can spread to other organs in the body, including the lymph nodes, liver, spleen, and bone marrow. In addition, affected individuals have an increased risk of developing another lymphoma or other type of cancer.
Sézary syndrome occurs in adults over age 60 and progresses rapidly; historically, affected individuals survived an average of 2 to 4 years after development of the condition, although survival has improved with newer treatments.
Although Sézary syndrome is sometimes referred to as a variant of another cutaneous T-cell lymphoma called mycosis fungoides, these two cancers are generally considered separate conditions.
Goodnight. It is 1:40 a.m. on the 11th. This is my May 10th blog documentation.
May 8, 2015 DAY 62 SAN FRANCISCO FOR A PURPOSE
I imagine there are hundreds of people who flock into San Francisco daily just for the delight of visiting and exploring all the city has to offer. Well, today Jeanette and I took BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) under the bay to visit with a different purpose. As a child I was fortunate enough to live in the San Francisco Bay area (Rodeo) an my mother made certain that we, as children, were exposed to as much opportunity and variety as possible on her limited budget. Her best friend Merle lived in the apartment below us (mother of my best and closest friend Albert) and owned a station wagon! What a luxury. In 1954 we had the grand experience of becoming a car owner of a new 1954 Chevrolet. But it wasn’t a STATION WAGON! Merel’s three kids and mama’s two youngest (which included me, as my older sisters wouldn’t be caught dead doing things with their younger siblings) would go on an adventure to San Francisco. We all sat in the back of the expansive wagon and played imaginary piano keyboards on the wheel hubs that stuck up through the floor. We waved at all the truck drivers and felt triumphant when they would honk their loud truck horns at us. We would be mesmerized as we traveled close to the edge of the bay bridge and peered out across the bay at Alcatraz. Many of the museums, exploratoreums and aquariums were free at that time. We always packed a picnic because I don’t even know if fast food places existed back then. If they did we didn’t have the money to go. We would also go to the Palace of Fine Arts which was like a fairy tail wonderland to me. High columns of magical doors and lakes that reflected the clouds skuttling by on a clear day. We often lived at the zoo for an entire and never tired of our adventures to San Francisco.
And now, back to San Francisco. I think over the years I have been to every garden, museum, tourist attraction, the different “towns” like China towns and eaten some delicious meals. Most of the meals were after I was grown, not as a kid. But today, San Francisco was for a different purpose. Jeanette and I were visiting a very special friend. Her name Kay and I have know her since we were teenagers. I saw her parents one evening in the basement of the J.C. Penney’s department store in San Leandro California and was bold enough (imagine that) to go up and and introduce myself (now remember I was a teenager) and to tell them how much I loved going to hear their daughter sing. They were always with her at concerts when she performed with two other teens. Their singing was so beautiful and had the unique harmonizing capability that caused the voices to sound like velvet. Kay’s voice still sounds like velvet. Her mom and dad were so impressed that I would come up to them and speak with them that they asked where I attended church. They showed up the next week and attended there after because they wanted their daughter to know me. Well, Kay and I hit is off from the beginning. She was a couple years younger but it seems I always attracted the younger crowds because I willing to talk to everyone. Sounds like I am patting myself on the back but I don’t mean for it to sound that way. It’s just the facts and I never thought anything about it.
This entire family had a great influence on my life in future years. They gave me a glimpse of what it was like to live in a beautiful home. At one time I actually ended up living with them before I married so I could save for the wedding.
Well, today Jeanette and I were privileged to once again meet up with Kay. We took the BART over and walked to a local cafe where Kay had taken a taxi to arrive. We sat in the middle of a very old San Francisco building, in a quaint cafe that served the most fattening, greasy, butter soaked San Francisco Sour Dough French bread, grilled to perfection! It was heavenly. It is a good thing I couldn’t find any to buy and bring back with me. That grilled sandwich was such a delicious fancy. I just watched (almost in horror) as I saw the renditions of foods that came from that kitchen and covertly watch as those around me actually ate the entire plateful of food. It was an amazing and interesting experience.
We three talked and talked and remembered and laughed and cried and just enjoyed the presence of friendship that only the old can really enjoy. I am smiling just sitting here writing and thinking of those precious moments. I so lived in the moment of those moments and soaked up everything I could. I told Kay I wished she would would sing me a song. Never in a million years did I think she would sing to me at the center table of a public restaurant, but she surprised me by singing the famous song about “San Francisco”. I think the title is “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”. She sang the entire song in her beautiful alto/tenor voice. Her voice was a bit older and not as practiced as it was years ago when she sang on stage but it was so beautiful and throaty and heart searing, especially with the words she sang. Then we sang together (quite low) but it sounded so good together. All three of sang. I think I was the only one that knew all the words to the song that started out with these words…”Oh what a wonderful, wonderful day. Day I will never forget”… When Kay sang her solo tears were streaming down my face.
So soon it was time to leave. Kay said she needed to use the Lady’s room and asked if I would take her. The aisles were very narrow and we had to maneuver through a narrow galley kitchen. I asked her to put her hands on the back of my waste as I walked slowly and guided her to the Lady’s room. Kay has been blind since birth but never once has it caused a blindness in our friendship. I truly believe our friendship was a divine appointment of God. It is not just everyone who was privileged to have a friendship such as ours. That night I met her parents in the basement of J.C. Penney’s fabric department was meant to be. I am a better person for having Kay as my friend. As we left the restaurant a man came us to us and told us how beautiful our singing was. He said he kept looking around to find the source of the radio or player but couldn’t find it and then realized it was coming from our table. He gave Kay high honor when saying he especially loved the way she sang “I Left My Heart in San Francisco”. And when I walked away from the cab that would carry Kay back to her apartment I felt like I was leaving a bit of my heart in San Francisco too.
I asked Kay what her wisdom would be. Here it is: “Make every minute count and cherish the friends and family that you have because you never know when your circumstances might change or when you might lose your friends and family.”
The Bart ride back under the bay to the east bay side was such an amazing ride. I have ridden BART many times when living in this area but it has been about 30 years. In the past 30 years the traffic and freeways have increased exponentially and it makes riding Bart that much more enjoyable. About halfway home I had the opportunity to speak with a young man traveling from San Francisco International Airport to a city close by where Jeanette lives. He was here on business from India. We had an enlightening conversation and I asked him for his wisdom. His name is Vikas. Here is his wisdom: “Give back to the word in some way. Help preserve the environment, help by giving food to those who need it and look around and see the many different ways you can help.” Thank you Vikas. If you read this blog please let me know by going to “contacts” and send me an email! I wish you the best on your travels here in the States. Thank you too for your conversation.
Well, I am hitting the road again tomorrow. The end of my respite is over. It has been a tremendous help to have a place where I could feel so comfortable and stay for a bit of an extended time. I need to regroup myself every few weeks. I thank Jeanette and Denny for this opportunity.
Lots more to say but I will use my wisdom and go to bed as early as possible as I must drive tomorrow. I have a feeling it is going to be a jam packed day! Seeing more family! My special nieces!
Good night 10:14 p.m.
May 7 2015 DAY 61 LOOKING BACK
Looking back for some is not always easy. I think that was the way it was for one of my sisters today.
My days are always so full and I always think I can just squeeze one more thing into this minute or that minuet. At least I’m optimistic. It seemed as if all day long I was always a little behind. Ever have days like that? Get up late…talk too much…try to accomplish more than earthly possible, drive long distances only to be bogged down in CALIFORNIA TRAFFIC, miscommunication, too far to go in too little time, get lost on the freeway system, forget to use the cell phone for pictures so you can put them on the blog??? You know, that sort of thing. Well, it was one of those days.
I met my sisters Velma and Faith again today at Velma’s house. We had lunch, had a late start for our adventure and I don’t think we really had time to finish it like we intended. Velma drove us over to Rodeo, the place where I spent my years from kindergarten through 7th grade. My younger sister was born while we lived “there”. “There” was at that time a little bay side town of about 3,000 population. My older sisters were in Junior high and High school when we moved there so we were pretty strung out in age and interests. We lived in a government subsidized housing project that had been built for the war workers during World War II. The apartments were located next to an oil refinery. I remember huge black plumes of smoke that rose up into the air and when the wind was blowing a certain direction it would bring all that toxic oil waste across and int0 our apartments and into the grammar school which set on a terraced hill facing the refinery. My younger sister Faith wanted to go back there because she had so many lost memories and broken memories. I was the one that remembered the apartment and school locations and where to go to find what we needed. So off we went. All the land that the apartments occupied is now fenced in with no admittance signs everywhere. The school land is enclosed with high fencing and is also not accessible. All buildings on both sites are totally gone and the land is considered toxic. It was found later that the people who lived in the buildings and attended Hillcrest School were victims of lung disorders and diseases. I was six when I moved there so I guess I was fortunate that I did not breathe that air as a baby. My younger sister was born there and breathed that air from birth until she was six years old. When she saw the toxic wasteland and I told her the facts that had surfaced in later years she turned to me and asked, “I wonder if that is why my lungs have been so bad all these years”. So many sad stories linger in our memories from that time. Faith stood there and cried. I told her tears could be healing but she wasn’t crying for herself. She quietly told me she hurt and was crying for all the years our mother lived there and how hard it was for our mother. I look back and I remember the tears my mother cried and the sobbing I would hear in the night. Poverty is real. Poverty is hard. Especially with a mother who more than anything wanted to do the best she could for the 5 children still at home. Our brother was grown and married by the time my younger sister was born. Our father was an illiterate laborer but worked steady and hard. The refinery is still on the hill, larger than it was even back then. The smoke is still belching but it isn’t black anymore. I’m certain by now there have been a lot of restrictions put on the amount and kinds of toxins that are excreted by the huge smokestacks. I couldn’t even bring myself to take a picture of it.
My family may have been poor but my mother was never poor in her spirit. As a kid I didn’t know what “slovenly” was but as I look back I remember some pretty grim families that lived in those cramped quarters. We were a family of seven in an estimated space of about 800 to 900 square feet with one bathroom and shower. Later we were given an apartment about twice that size in the same building. Some families were even larger than ours. One of the things my mother did not allow was a messy dwelling. Not just picking up things (of which we did not have much) but I mean we had to scrub the walls and ceilings and floors. I was 12 when we moved from the apartments so it was the next place we lived where I was the ceiling scrubber, and that was living with a wood stove for both cooking and heating. Same stove did both. More black belching smoke to inhabit our lives.
My mom kept her girls spit polished. Our hair was either in ringlets, which was like murder to sleep on the rag curl wraps, or hair was so tightly french braided that I used to cry because I could’t bend my neck down because it would painfully tug the hair on the back of my neck. One time the school teacher actually had to undo my braids and allow the hair to loosed because I wouldn’t stop crying. These are some of the memories that came flooding back as I looked over the hills with cement slabs still in large pieces where the foundations were. No trees lived among those hills. However the acres and acres of former school property was planted with all kinds of trees. Beautiful trees like a new forest. At first I thought that perhaps the birds had planted them with seed in their waste but when I now remember the stark contract between no trees and a new forest growing I realize they must have been planted for a purpose. There were no trees on the school grounds when we were attending there.
Not only did my mother have the absolute cleanest apartment she also had the cleanest kids when we walked out the door to go to school. She made all our clothing including our underwear. And it was clean. I know, because when it was hung out on the line I had to guard it until it was dry and then bring it in. If it wasn’t watched it sometimes disappeared, especially diapers. I took my job seriously. To be truthful, I sort of like…bossed the neighborhood! I was a nice boss though, organizing all the kids to play games and draw on sidewalks with sheet rock chalk scarfed out of the garbage cans when apartments had to be repaired because of holes in the walls (of course there were no holes in our apartment). There were so many memories that came flooding in when I stood there but these are the ones safe to repeat.
My sister stood there and cried. I stood there and patted her back. The pain for me is all gone. I have been healed of anything and everything that happened there in the past. I hope someday all my sisters can be healed from any memory that may hold them captive. For me it was good to go there and realize just how free I am from that place. I hope it ultimately will be the same for Faith.
After we left the hills we drove down into the little town that is’t so little anymore. My favorite place as a child was the library. It was a little building that looked like a little house made over into a charming story book library. It was so awesome as a child to walk through those doors and be in a room full of books that I could take home. I had permission to bring home as many as I could carry. We had no bags or containers so it was usually a stack of 10 or 12 children’s hard backs. We didn’t know what a paper back book was. When I walked into the library today I could feel a great big smile come alive from the inside out. Then the tears came. I couldn’t even talk (I tried) for a few minutes. I was in a place that held such awesome memories. When I was about eight, nine and ten years old I could not walk far, run, play recess or do things which required strenuous activity with my knees due to a condition I had. The “disease” is called Ozgood-Schlatter Disease. (Actually I just looked it up to see what the information on the internet actually described it as). All I knew at the time was that I wasn’t allowed to do much (except some work) and had to rest. During the summers my mom would drive me to the library and it was such a privilege to be able to go there, check out books, and have enough to read for about three or four days and then beg to go back. Usually I just read them over. Henry and Ribsy and Ramona became my good friends as did Anne of Green Gables and all her stories. Well, when I was in there today I was talking to the librarian and told him that Henry and Ribsy had been some of my favorite books and pointed to the place where they were kept. The librarian said that was exactly where they still were. I took one out, sat at the little table (which was not the same scarred wooden table of yesteryear) and held the book in my hand remembering. The librarian took a picture of me and then I asked him to take one on my IPhone so I could share it with you. This was a big moment for me! I hope you don’t quit reading my blog for an older woman’s reminiscing but this was almost 60 years ago and that little gingerbread library is still standing and servicing little kids just at it did me. I can now see why people donate and will money to libraries. Books may someday become obsolete in the electronic age but just to know that this little library still exist gives me a little hope that there will be those in the future who value the actual book.
And at this point my day is only half over!
We left the library went to Velma’s and I headed out on my next saga. And what a wonderful evening it was. My cousin Steve Robinson and his wife Lucy live in Antioch about 30 or 40 miles from Velma. But…and this is a big BUT…it was 90 minutes away driving. I hit the traffic jam hour. I did get there eventually.
Steve has a busy happy house. His son and his son’s girlfriend live with them AND their two little twin babies. Baby boy Adrian and Baby girl Aria. These babies are healthy and alert 8 month olds who were born almost 4 months early. Both weighed over one pound and were in the hospital for the first four months of their lives. They are now alert and smiling and “talking”. Such a joy to see them so normal and healthy after all they contended with at birth. Steve and Lucy’s other son Ryan and his wife Jo live across town from Steve and we stopped by so I could see his son all grown up. Both sons are fine young men. Beautiful and loving. Ryan and Jo have 3 children and a fourth on the way. I have a picture of them on my cell so it is on the blog. Carrie’s family is only on my camera so I put some single shots of the babies on the blog.
Though my visits were short I so enjoyed seeing Steve and Lucy’s family. I didn’t have a chance to see their daughter Mae, and her three children. Maybe next time.
Steve and Lucy treated me to a wonderful dinner and we had a quiet time visiting and getting caught up. There is so much more I could say but due to time must close. Before I close however I would also like to tell my family I had a chance to again meet my cousin Paul Michael’s son, Michael. He didn’t remember me but that is okay because I remember him. Again, I didn’t get a photo of him on the cell phone either. I’m trying to remember!
If you read through this I want to thank you. This blog has turned into a bit more than just my outward journey. It has replaced some of my writing that I normally do in my journal. I don’t have time for both so I just add a little of my heart to the blog and share what I usually just keep to myself.
Goodnight
April 30 2015 Day 54 San Francisco Here I Come!
Right back where I started from. Well, not completely back quite that far. I was born in Arkansas but grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area until I married in 1973. And here I am again. There have been times when I said I would never come back to California and yet, here I am. Actually planning a trip to San Francisco proper for later next week. The rest of the time I’ll stay in the East Bay Area. Seems a little safer. San Francisco is beautiful to look from a distance but up close it is crowded and quite messy to navigate in. My word of wisdom for today is if you have a stick shift car don’t take it to San Francisco. It is dangerous on those hills.
Left beautiful Monterey this morning. It is always too soon to leave Monterey, the city by the sea. I am still living in the memory of the beauty I experienced there. And today, well today, I am in rows and rows of houses and long congested streets and lots and lots of people. It was around 40 plus years ago I watched this community of San Ramon grow and bloom into masses of people. At that time the trees were little. Now the city is a paradise of huge growth trees planted when I was a young woman. The streets are dark and shady and the homes have aged gracefully with beautiful lines of integrity. All in all, despite the miles and miles of homes it is a beautiful place to live. The surrounding hills show a light touch of green desiring to burst forth from last week’s rain. The brown grasses prevail on most slopes and often overshadow the hint of green. It give a beautiful aura standing proud above all the homes. This area consist of several canyons. A flat area of land where the streets and houses expand out to rolling hills setting stage for the mountains.
I have never seen so many mountains in my lifetime as I have experienced on this trip. It seems every state has their own particular design of mountains and they just keep going on and on, especially as I travel north as the mountains go north to south. The problem is, there is just no snow on them. Only saw a few very tall mountains with some snow and that was the day after the snow storm in Denver Colorado. By the time I left Denver most of the snow had already melted on the slopes. Pray for rain.
When I was in Oakhurst at my aunt and uncles home (by Yosemite) one of my uncles horses took a bad slide on the mud and fell hurting herself pretty badly. I called the other day to see how “Toby” was doing. She is doing okay and will survive but it will take a long time for her recovery. My uncle loves to ride and has actually taken his horses up to Yosemite National Park and ridden the trails there where no one can go without a horse. I can’t even imagine the beauty he must have seen. Well, I said all that to say this: When I was on the phone my uncle Jetton asked me if I missed being home. I told him I would think about it and blog my way through that question. He said, no, I just want a spontaneous answer right now. So I said, no, I don’t miss home. I miss my husband and family but I don’t miss being home. He asked me when my halfway point was and when I’d be turning around to go home. I told them I had no half way point, and as as far as I was concerned, that from the moment I left home I was on a journey that was leading home. I think the reason for that is that I truly do live in the moment. There is no other moment but the one I am living in. Each experience is an experience unto itself, to be savored fully for the moment(s) I am experiencing it and then I let it go for then I am living in another moment. Yes, there will be a time when am home again and then I will be experiencing the joy and thrill of that moment. But, to wish I was someplace else, or miss someplace else because I am not there would just rob me of the fullness of the joy I am feeling where ever I am at that moment.
Today was a special day in the fact that I had no plans except traveling from one location to the next. And the good part was that it was less than 100 miles away. It was a beautiful drive and I missed all the commute traffic by leaving in the middle of the day and arriving here about 3:00 p.m.
And I am here with my childhood friend Jeanette and her husband. Today was Jeanette’s last day on the clock at work. As of closing time today she is retired. She had her hip replaced in February and was on disability leave and today that leave expired. She says she doesn’t know yet how it feels to be retired. Funny thing, neither do I. But I’m practicing. Jeanette and I met when we were 12 years old at church in Oakland California. Our mother’s became good friends and thus we stayed in contact also. We had our babies close together and our boys used to play together. Well tonight one of Jeanett’s boys was on a TV show called “IT TAKES A CHURCH”. He was the bachelor looking for a prospective wife. The only thing was that it wasn’t him who did the choosing. The show was filed at his church with his friends and his pastor watching the auditions of the girls that would like to be chose and then the church chose the four finalist. Then it was up to Ryan to make the final choice. Of course mom and dad were proud as punch watching their young son (in his 30’s) do an excellent job of being himself. I’ve know Ryan all my life and he is a wonderful young man. I once did a model shoot for him in San Francisco at the Palace of Fine Arts. He is a gorgeous man as well as a great guy. We were all rooting for our favorite gal. We all chose the same favorite for of course we knew just which one would be the best for him! And he didn’t fail to deliver! We haven’t heard from after the show’s debut so we are wondering if they hit it off and are still dating. This was filmed several months ago and his parents did not know a thing about it until they were told a couple of days ago that the show was coming on. What a surprise they received when they watched the program because they didn’t know what it was about or what his part in the show would be. It felt very satisfying to be here and have the opportunity to watch this show with his parents. It was a fun night. Ryan lives and works in Southern California so he is not home very often. Ryan is an R.N.
Oh, one more incident I want to tell you about. I have a friend that lives a few blocks from Jeanette in this same neighborhood. We have been friends for 60 years. We met because we lived in the “housing projects”. My family of 5 girls lived in a small three bedroom apartment on the top floor. Albert’s family of four kids lived in the apartment below us. That made for a lot of angst with his dad because I often went to sleep with my coffee can full of marbles on my bed only to have them topple over in the night and hit the linoleum floor above Albert’s dad’s bedroom. Not a pretty sight to have him come upstairs banging on our apartment door saying things I can’t say here on my blog. Well that is how we met. We have been true friends ever since. Albert is retired now and he and his partner live close by Jeanette’s house. Jeanette and I were off on a journey to find out if I could get some passes to a gym and on the spur of the moment I asked her if we could stop by Albert’s. Albert did not know I was coming or in the area. Jeanette and I knocked on the door and Mark answered, looked at me and I just stood there with a silly grin and forgot to say anything. I could tell he did not recognize me. My friend Judy and I stayed with Albert and Mark 4 years ago when I was here for a planning session for an event I was “co-producing with a cousin”. Finally Jeanette asked if Albert was there. Mark recognized her. When Albert came to the door he immediately knew who I was and then poor Mark was embarrassed for not knowing me. I guess that is what happens when you grow as old as I did in such a short time as four year. He actually did not recognize me because of the hair style and the 80 pound weight loss. It was fun none the less to surprise them. They immediately made us feel welcome and we had a great short visit. I told them I had to do something to write about in my blog. The back of their house opens up to a beautiful yard. In standards of Wisconsin yards it is pretty small but he has made a small place absolutely beautiful. Other than the pics I took there I have no others today. I will post some for you to see. He has a rose garden oasis. This is blooming time in drought ridden California so these flowers are very precious.
I asked Mark what his words of wisdom would be. Here is his answer: “When you look at your life and see you have less time ahead than you have behind, take a a trip”. He said he did just that and had an amazing time. It seemed he really connected with why I wanted to go on this trip. He understood the value of the journey, one moment at a time, experiencing what life brought to you in each moment. That is somewhat how I feel. The value for me is what God brings to me. Everyday I see God’s hand and direction in my life and I am so grateful for the opportunity of this journey. It really is a journey of a lifetime.
Thank you for those who take time to read these pages. I do not feel bad if you do not read them, if they are too long, too boring or too time consuming. For me it is documentation of my journey of today and melding the moments of my past into the beauty of the present. This journey is bringing back so many memories and I find that regardless how uncomfortable some of the situations I’ve experienced are, I no longer have pain from any memory. All the negatives have been let go and there is no longer any pain associated with any one memory. All the pain has been released through the healing presence of Christ living within me for He has shown me the truth of what really is. It is a wonderful place to live.
And every day I learn something.
Good Night
April 27 2015 Day 51 “I See the Ocean”
Up close and personal I can see the ocean. I posted a couple of pics for you.
This day as been awesome! I actually slept in until 8:30 a.m. That is very late for me. It felt so good because I knew I would be driving. I have found that I have a tendency to get drowsy on some of these long drives. When I do start nodding I look for a place to stop, get out, walk around, fill up the car or empty me out. It breaks the cycle of the drowsies. Well today’s trip was less than a three hour drive but I still had to stop once. It was a very interesting day of driving because I was going across the state of California instead of driving south to north. There are four major highways that go north/south. Well, today I drove on all four and I was going from east to west in a southerly direction. First I was on Highway 99, then Highway 5, then Highway 101 and finally on highway 1. I was constantly working my way south/west in a stair step sort of patter in order to arrive at my destination. I arrived on time or there about and had a delicious dinner and evening out.
As I was driving and merging onto the coastal Highway 1 all of a sudden the ocean just appeared. I had to quickly take a look and it was breathtaking and up close. I wasn’t expecting to have my first glimpse in such a dramatic way. I was stunned and sorry that I couldn’t stop the car and just gawk. I rolled down the windows and let the ocean breeze blow in. Coastal air is so different than inland. It is fresh and cool and heavy and moist. When I left Modesto at 1:00 p.m. it was 87 degrees. It dropped to 73 degrees, then 65 degrees and then to 58 degrees the closer I drove toward the ocean. I purposely checked often to see how the temperatures changed. Every time I got over another huge mountain the temp was lower. It’s as if the Ocean feels my thoughts right now and the curtains rustle and the cold air wraps it way around my legs caressing me as if to say welcome. It is quite cold. I wish I knew what the temperature reading is. But I don’t.
My host home is my first cousin Bill Tackett, son of my mother’s, late brother. They live nestled high above the town of Monterey overlooking a view of the water. Monterey is a seaside town built on the cliffs overlooking the ocean. After dinner they took me on a short tour around the town. The light was so beautiful. The fog lay thick out over the bay and the sun played with the light to create some beautiful illusions. How am I so fortunate to be just where I needed to be at the right time to view such beautiful sights. I took a few pictures but they cannot do justice to what my God-designed eye of the heart is able to see. We also stopped by the home of where they go to Bible Study on Monday evenings so I could meet some of their friends who would be there. I met some wonderful people. I asked one for her word of wisdom. She quoted something from Ghandi: “There are seven days in the week and only two days in which you cannot do anything, Yesterday and Tomorrow”
This lady I met is Susan, and we had a few other discussions. We talked about living in the moment, which I like to believe I do. I said that I enjoy who I am and the age I am and have peace and contentment. She replied that she thought the reason I was so content was because I do live in the moment. When we do live in the moment and accept who we are we do have the tendency to be satisfied with life. It was a good insight to be brought to my attention.
The farmlands are being irrigated and they look lush and ripe. Strawberries and blackberries and blueberries are being sold at roadside stands along with the first picking of nectarines and peaches. Last years harvest of almonds and walnuts are in abundance also. So many local vegetables are already being harvested. It felt like late summer in Wisconsin because of all the fresh varieties available. I so crave fresh food and I have been buying it along the way. Sometimes I forget and leave it behind if it hasn’t all been eaten and other times I take it with me in my thermal bag and eat it for lunch. I have not stopped at a fast food place for a meal since I left home. I carry enough real food with me that I don’t need to do that.
I drove by a large Reservoir today. As I looked down I realized it was almost empty. Sand bars broke through the placid surface. I believe it was the San Luis Reservoir. The article below is from today’s paper discussing the information about the dam that I thougth might interest you. Here today but it may be gone tomorrow.
San Luis Reservoir
Panoramic view of Reservoir
The San Luis Reservoir is an artificial lake on San Luis Creek in the eastern slopes of the Diablo Range of Merced County, California, approximately 12 mi (19 km) west of Los Banos on State Route 152, which crosses Pacheco Pass and runs along its north shore. It is the fifth largest reservoir in California. The reservoir stores water taken from the San Joaquin-Sacramento River Delta. Water is pumped uphill into the reservoir from the O’Neill Forebay which is fed by the California Aqueduct and is released back into the forebay to continue downstream along the aqueduct as needed for farm irrigation and other uses. Depending on water levels, the reservoir is approximately nine miles long from north to south at its longest point, and five miles (8 km) wide. At the eastern end of the reservoir is the San Luis Dam, or the B.F. Sisk Dam, the fourth largest embankment dam in the United States, which allows for a total capacity of 2,041,000 acre feet (2,518,000 dam3).
Completed in 1967 on land formerly part of Rancho San Luis Gonzaga, the 12,700 acres (5,100 ha) reservoir is a joint use facility, being a part of both the California State Water Project and Central Valley Project, which together form a network of reservoirs, dams, pumping stations, and 550 miles (885 km) of canals and major conduits to move water across California. The San Luis Reservoir is located in Merced County, and has a visitor center located at the Romero Outlook where visitors can learn more about the dam and reservoir. The surface of the reservoir lies at an elevation of approximately 544 ft (166 m), with the O’Neill Forebay below the dam at 225 ft (69 m) above sea level. This elevation difference allows for a hydroelectric plant to be constructed – the Gianelli Hydroelectric Plant. Power from this plant is sent to a Path 15 substation, Los Banos via a short power line. Those 500 kV wires, carrying both the power generated here and elsewhere, leave the area and cross the O’Neill Forebay on several man-made islands.
California is big. I thought Texas was big. It is. It is big Wide. California is big TALL. The landscape is so diversified that it seems I go from country to country around the globe, One thing, it has a lot of are mountains. Boy have I crossed some mountains since being on this trip. Beautiful, beautiful mountains. And when I arrived in California there are even more mountains. Check it out online. The below paragraph was taken from the internet to give you a little info regarding some of the ranges in California.
Coast Ranges
Coast Ranges, series of mountain ranges along the Pacific coast of North America, extending from SE Alaska to Baja California; from 2,000 to 20,000 ft (610–6,100 m) high. The ranges include the St. Elias Mts. in SE Alaska and SW Yukon, which have the highest elevations; a partially submerged portion that forms the islands off the coast of SE Alaska and British Columbia; the Olympic Mts. in Washington; the Coast Ranges in Oregon; the Klamath Mts., Coast Ranges, and Los Angeles Ranges in California; and the Peninsular Range in Baja California. The Coast Ranges are rugged, geologically young mountains formed by faulting and folding and are composed mainly of granitic rock; the northern third is glaciated. N of San Francisco the ranges are humid and thickly forested; the southern parts are dry and covered with brush and grass. Lumbering, mining, and tourism are important.
Back to Bill and Vicki: After dinner we drove around the community here on the coast. They made such a believer out of me regarding the things see to see and do that I called my next destination and postponed arriving at their home until Sunday afternoon. So all is well in regards to my going to my next panned stop. After the short car tour we went to Bill and Vicki’s place of home Bible Study and I met all the people that were there. We then came home and here I am. SLEEPY.
So Sleepy…
Where do I lay my head?
Kathleen Martens
April 27, 20015
I walk into the arms of God
Never does He think it odd.
He nestles me in a quite place
With me alone in this space.
I am His and He is mine
Oh such a beautiful time.
I rest in Him and His peace
He rests in me and does not cease.
April 26 2015 Day 50 My last full day with Sue
My last full day with Sue. Forty two years ago she stood by myside as Dave and I spoke our vows. Forty two years of life lived by each of us. So many roads travelled. So many experiences experienced. As stories unfold I comprehend that I could use just the story of one life to write a mini-series or several volumes of books. And as I speak and share with others I realize that I too have accumulated a lifetime of stories. The stories of this trip are also accumulating. I am beginning to see some of the lessons that God has prepared for me to learn. Day after day the building blocks of my trip are beginning to take shape. They come in the form of each experience, each person I meet, the roads I travel, the words I speak, the words others speak to me, and even in the beds I sleep in.
I have slept on soft beds, hard beds, couches, air mattresses, on fold out beds, in low beds and in high beds needing stairs to climb into them, in living rooms, in kitchens, in twin beds, in a toddler bed and in beds fit for a king. I have slept on new sheets and worn sheets and smooth sheets and rough sheets, clean sheets and sheets that had been previously used. I haven’t slept on the floor… YET… One thing I have discovered, no matter which bed I was in I slept like a baby. And for that I thank God. It has been amazing. As I think back over these places of rest the stories surrounding the beds surface in my memory. So many that haven’t been told and may never be told, tucked into that special place of my heart to be savored only by me. Friends and faces and surroundings and incidents all come flooding back into my memory. I will take them home with me.
Every day I am learning; about the world, about others, about God, about myself. Today was a God learning day. My friend Sue wanted to go someplace different today for church. She gave me the scenarios of what she knew about different churches in the area but didn’t know which one to choose. I felt impressed that we should go to Calvary Chapel in Modesto. So we did. EXCELLENT CHOICE! After looking back over the day I believe it was a God inspired choice. The praise and worship service was amazing and the teaching was illuminating. Senior Pastor, Damian Kyle, used the scripture reference Isaiah 66:1-6 as his topic. I deduced that this was the last day of the series of sermons on Isaiah. The last teaching of the Isaiah series was tonight at the 6:00 p.m. service. Sue and I planned to attend but our day zoomed by too quickly and we couldn’t make it back. I do hope I can listen to the entire series on Isaiah online as I do my workouts. The only problem with that is that I can’t take notes and get into the deep study of the series while exercising. Reverend Kyle’s presentation just opened up the scriptures with understanding and comprehension that I had not understood previously. To discover Damian Kyle’s teaching is like a gift presented to last a long, long time. I thank God for my ears that I can hear so I can learn more and more about who God really is. And I thank God for a teachable spirit. If you don’t have one just ask God for one and I’m certain there are a lot of things He’d like to teach you.
Not only was the teaching excellent but from the time we stepped out of the car onto the parking lot we could feel the friendliness of the people around us, from the grounds attendants, to the greeters at the door, to the people in the restrooms, concluding with those sitting around us. I have never felt so genuinely welcomed at a church service as I did at Calvary Chapel, Modesto. I was also very impressed with all the volunteers, each doing separate jobs preparing the building for the next congregating of “THE CHURCH”.
So much packed into the session this morning that I can’t go into it all here. I would recommend going to the website www.ccmodesto.com and do some exploring. Believe me, I already did and am excited to see listed all the topics I will be able to listen to.
It was so refreshing to be so welcomed into “The Family of God” in a “foreign” land. Thank you Robyn and John and Jenny and husband and Mrs. B. You helped make this Sunday Sabbath special! God bless all of you!
Sue and I have had a wonderful time remembering the good and the bad times, filling in the blank episodes of our lives that we hadn’t shared before and just loving being in each other’s presence again. I do hope all of you have this kind of friend to remember with in your later years. Sometimes the remembering is easier than it was going through it. And life has a different perspective when looking back, a little older, a little wiser. The best part…we can look back and know we survived. I can look back and see all the times when God was right there beside me as I trudged through the cement of life. So much more to tell.
Yesterday I said I would write part of an essay I wrote about 47 or 48 years ago. If the typing goes fast I’ll write the entire essay I wrote as a teenager:
*************************************************************************************
THE FUTURE IS TOMORROW
In the beginning God…In the beginning God created…And our beginning was created by God. And we were created for a purpose.
Where were you in 1872? Where will you be tomorrow? Tomorrow is our future. What we, you and I, do with it is completely up to us. Tomorrow is our future. Yesterday is gone. Soon tomorrow will be gone. What will we, as Christians, do with our lives? Is the future really ours? How can we as individuals be certain we will have a future?
Life is now lived at an exceedingly fast pace. Violence and death are nothing unexpected. Individuals are abused and slaughtered; whole nations can be wiped out by one bomb. What is life anyway and how can we be so sure we will be here tomorrow? Too often “tomorrow”, “next week”, and “nest month: are taken for granted. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” The familiar phrase that has certainly been spoken by many of us at one time or another. As one character in the popular play, THE MUSIC MAN, said, “Pile up a bunch of tomorrows and you’ll find you’ll end up with a lot of empty yesterdays.” These words are so very true. What is a future if we don’t use it now? Empty?? The future is ours because of what we do with it now. We must live to the fullest of God’s plan for us as individuals. Not by saying, “I will do”, or “I did”, but by doing His (God’s) will and works for our lives now. The future is ours because through a day by day walk with God we can claim each day not for ourselves but for God; awakening with the thought, what can I do for my neighbor, my friends, my pastor, my country…for GOD?
What we do today will reflect what happens tomorrow and the many more to come. God has not definitely said, “I promise you a tomorrow,” but when this physical life is ended our tomorrow with Christ will begin…for eternity. The future is ours only because we live in the complete will of God today.
And that is what I wrote all those years ago. This was the entire essay.
Good night. It is 11:23 p.m. and I am going to eat dinner and go to bed. My dinner will be goat cheese, peanut butters and an orange. I don’t like eating quite this late but my lunch was at 2:00 p.m..
Thursday March 19 DAY 13
Before I start my trip away from Russellville, Arkansas I must reminisce a bit more. Yesterday was my last day here to see all those I love. My dear uncle Buddy, now up in his 90’s was able to visit with my sister and me for awhile. Uncle Buddy is my mom’s brother. My mom was the oldest of thirteen, twelve of whom lived to adulthood. Ten girls and three boys. You can not even imagine the stories that each of those children could tell. Well one of my Aunts did tell her story in an awesome book “A BAKER’S DOZEN” by Anne Chaney. A thick book, but a fast read. Contact me through this blog if you are interested in ordering one and I can give you the info to do so.
Well, Uncle Buddy is the last surviving son. He outlived both of his younger brothers. I dearly love uncle Buddy. He is a gentle spirit who suffered the rigors of World War II with lasting affects. He has been a widower for many years and has one son. Uncle Buddy cannot hear . We communicate with him by his speaking and the rest of us writing on a tablet. His mind is sharp and can hold his own in a conversation. Very interesting to listen to him. He loves to read and is familiar with a lot of current books. Recently he was fitted with a hearing aid that connects directly with his TV. I suppose he has been cut off from all source of TV news for awhile because he was concerned about some of the new laws that he is learning about regarding Medicare now that he can hear what is being talked about. Never take your hearing for granted. It is a powerful and wonderful gift, given as a tool to be used for a lifetime. Take care of it. Many hearing disorders are caused by being exposed to high volumes of UNNECESSARY sound. Living in a family where hearing loss is prevalent you early realize how precious it is.
I said goodbye to Uncle Buddy, again realizing it might be the last opportunity of seeing him on this side of heaven. It is with joy I see my loved ones and I carry these memories with me in a special place in my heart. It is sort of like saying goodbye to my own past. Our children our our future, our parents are our past. Should I live a long life there will be a time when all those who knew me as a child will be gone. Their stories will be gone. As long as I have my memories they will live in my heart.
On the morning of March 19th I worked out, came back to Aunt Esther’s and packed up to leave. Only then did I realize I had not driven by the old country house in Center Valley where my grandparents lived for over 50 years. I could not leave without another little trip down memory lane.
“continue reading…” Read the rest of this entry
Visions of Poetry 