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Sunday Sabbath June 7 2015 Day 95 ENJOYING RETIREMENT PRACTICE
Oh how sweet to hear the beautiful music drifting down to my level. Guitar with instrumental background accompaniment. Found out something new about Charlene last night. I was sitting down here in the lower level when beautiful stands of guitar music came out of nowhere. It sounded so close and so real, not like recorded music. I had to get up and be snoopy and go upstairs. There sat Charlene strumming beautiful sounds on a guitar. WOW! I didn’t know she played the guitar. She informed me that she is taking lessons. Visions of the door of retirement keep opening before me. Charlene is also learning Spanish and goes to Pilates workout each week. Not yet even mentioning the greatest part of her retirement yet…personal travel tour guide around the greater Columbia Gorge area. I don’t think there is a back road around that she doesn’t know where it goes, and that includes the gravel roads. She and Larry and extended themselves way beyond what I would have ever dreamed or expected of anyone to do for me. I told her that I have learned a great deal from her. I have think I have a better understanding now of how to help my guests have the best time possible if they come to see me. My mind just wasn’t opened to that before. I didn’t know how awesome it would be to have someone who knew the area to be your guide and driver and informant. Can’t wait now to have guests so I can go out and enjoy them showing them the sights.
The doors of opportunity of a different lifestyle beckon me. I have two more weddings to complete, one senior portrait to finish and a baby session to workup and I will lay my professional camera down. I will be finished with that stage of my life. I do plan to continue with “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” bereavement photos of newborns but do not plan on any studio sessions at all. It has been wonderful doing what I have done. When I discovered photography as a profession it was if my passion had opportunity to surface. I have loved what I have done and never tired of it. I am not tired of photography but there is so much I feel I need to accomplish before I lay my mantel down and in order to do so I must first learn to enjoy being separated from the professional, pressured aspect of it being work. Photography and writing will now come together to enable me to accomplish that which I believe I am called to do. It is time for me to finish up some of the writing I have started and to begin new projects. But first, I will put in time to enjoy the leisure of unstructured time, at least for part of the day. I work well under disciplined time and know that will be part of my day but not in its entirety. I truly wonder what lasting effects and benefits this journey will have for me. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed with the gratitude, to myself and to others, for allowing this journey to take place. It was not done on a whim but with thought and some planning. And further planning has taken places along the way. I have plans now until June 24th and then I am free on the wind. Where will I go? Who will I see? Who will I meet that is new? How many miles yet to go? Only God knows.
I know I am sounding more and more as if I am at my journey’s end but I am not at the end yet. What is ahead is still a mystery to me, one I anticipate with joy, but at the same time still living in the moment I am in, experiencing everything with total concentration and exhilaration of the moment. I am continually looking forward, thankful for the past. The past mingles with the presence in changing my attitude, incorporating the new wisdom I’ve learned, the events I lived through, the joys and sorrows I’ve experienced. I am who I am today because of all my yesterdays. How can I wish to change anything that made me who I am today. I love being who I am, a child of the Living God. Are all my past experience good? No, not by a long shot, but sometimes it actually that which happens that is not good that God uses to His glory and creates beauty from our sorrow. He has done that for me, even on this trip. He can do that for you if you have regrets and places of unforgiveness in your heart. Just open yourself up to living in the present presence of our God and He can mend your broken heart, he can take that which is not good and turn it into something beautiful. You may be able to touch a life you would not otherwise connect with, just because you did experience things that were not good.
There is a card that I have made from some beautiful artwork that my friend David Schrank drew and designed. The words are so meaningful and come from scripture. I want to write them here. Please read each line carefully and ask yourself is this the way you think of love and do you follow this pattern with those you love. The words are so powerful.
“Love never gives up
Cares more for others than self
does not want what it does not have
does not strut
does not swell the head
does not force itself on others
is not always me first
does not fly off the handle
does not keep score of sins
does not revel when others hurt
takes pleasure in the flowering of the truth
puts up with anything
trusts God always
always looks for the best to the end
never looks back
Love never dies”
I read these words and ask myself, am I living up to this standard of love? Ask yourself that question. It is powerful and mind awakening. Thank you David Schrank for your design on the cards I have made. I have enjoyed giving each one away. I pray that the words will touch the lives of all who have received one.
Now perhaps I should mention what we did yesterday, Sunday June 7, 2015. I tried to watch online the service at City Church and could not get it to come in on the computer. So I wrote instead. Then spent the morning visiting with Charlene and Larry, ate a late lunch and headed out for a new adventure. I was primarily sightseeing. We drove to Oregon from Washington where Charlene lives. Washington is just across the Columbia River but it takes a long ways to get to the bridge to get across. All beautiful scenery. We went from mountain bluffs, through little quaint towns (remember no fast food places) peppered with many cute little restaurants. We saw farms and cattle and fields of elk roaming wild, vineyards, orchards, and our final destination was Mount Hood in Mt. Hood Oregon. I mistakenly stated that the Mt. Adams, the mountain we went to a few days ago was in Oregon. Mt Adams is not is Oregon, it is in Washington. All of the large mountains in this area are volcanic mountains. I believe the last volcanic eruption of Mt. Hood was in 1868. It was so powerful that during the eruption it pushed so much land mass that it relocated a lake a half mile higher on a mountain than it had originally been. You could still see the large crater on the side of the mountain. There weren’t many trees on the mountain even after all these years. There was not much snow either. That was a sad sight. The mountain looked like grey ash and stone. There was a large dry riverbed below the mountain and it actually had a trickle of water just a few feet wide in some places. The massive river bed bed was dry. I think it was called the White River (I may be incorrect but I think that is what I remember being told). It was sad to see.
The taller isolated volcanic mountains still have some snow to melt but very little. The Columbia river is very low and the smaller ones are dried up, meaning they are no longer feeding the Columbia river. The Columbia river is no longer able to reach the Mexico border due to the volume of water being used in the U.S. I wonder how long it will be before it dries up farther and farther to the north. Remember to be thankful for the rains when they come to your area. The west coast is becoming a dry and weary land.
Today we plan a trip to Mount St. Helen. Many of you may remember the explosion in 1980 when Mt. St. Helen blue her top. Several were killed and the ash was carried thousands of miles from its origination. It will be interesting to see what recovery has since taken place. It has be 35 years ago, longer than a lifetime to some. I remember seeing the mountain a couple years after the eruption and it was sobering and sad to see. Nature’s force, beyond man’s control, is a powerful force to reckon with. And just to think that God is even more powerful.
I guess I will write about my experience to Mt. St. Helen tomorrow. Let’s go back to yesterday. After visiting Mt Hood we stopped at a cherry orchard and bought cherries. They were picked right at the farm where I bought them but that doesn’t mean they are less costly. I didn’t really care how much they cost after I tasted one. It was the true epitome of what a firm, fresh picked, ripe cherry should taste like. See the picture below of the cherries on the tree. Also included a photo of the little fruit stand at the farm. Another picture is of me on a gigantic swing. Larry pushed me and took a video of me. I felt like the little girl in me was still alive, especially with the experience of the swing being so over sized. As simple as a swing hanging between two large trees gave me such a thrill of enjoyment. To be a little girl again. Pumping to go higher, arms splayed wide to reach the chains, under the cool of two old oaks, with Mt. Hood framed in the background, was an exhilarating, fun moment in time. I went higher and higher and didn’t want to stop. But each moment does end and the next begins. What I do is take the joy with me as I leave, tucked away in my heart to enjoy the moment again when I view the memory or the photo. Go out and doing something fun today. Something you did as a child. Remember the feeling of awe and excitement of the simple pleasures in life. No matter how old, or how infirm, there must be something you can do, even if it is sitting on a bench in solitude just reminiscing. Go and enjoy a special moment this day. Don’t let any day pass you that you do not take time to notice you are alive and young at heart.
The garden is waiting for me. Charlene and Larry have already left. It is getting how out so will pick strawberries before the noon day sun approaches.
I’ll proof read this tomorrow. Have a great day. This is my day to do the zip line! (TINGLE GOES MY HEART)
Saturday June 6, 2015 DAY 94 CLOSER TO HEAVEN
Yesterday really happened! It was awesome! Again I learned something and stretched myself. I wrote briefly about my practicing retirement yesterday morning. Well, that was awesome too.
We languidly ate breakfast, talked, enjoyed the coolness of the morning and I especially enjoyed watching the play of light as the surroundings around me changed with the shifting sun. This land is such a mysterious place. It is full of dark shadows, tall trees, and dancing light. It is as if the forest has an ever changing mood and you do not want to be caught unaware.
Well a week or so ago two of their chickens were caught unaware. When Charlene and Larry came home they noticed two areas of scattered feathers in the garden where their chickens roam and two less chickens on the roost. About that same time span Larry was outside on the lower patio where I sat yesterday morning and when he stood up he saw a large cat catch his eye and bound away across his back yard in three large bounds. His yard across the back of the house is quite a long space. He didn’t know for certain which cat family he was looking at but it was perhaps a cougar, mountain lion, or a panther. The creek Panther Creek is not named that without reason. Not a great feeling of security! I asked if they have ever seen bear. Only across the creek I was told. That’s a little too close for comfort for me. Maybe I like living where I currently live. At least I have not seen any bear in my backyard.
Back to the garden of tattered feathers. Here we are in our housecoats and Charlene says, “lets walk up to the garden”. They do live on a private lane in a secluded part of the forest, almost as far out as the government allows (the property just a ways beyond them is all government forests) so I thought why not go out in my housecoat. I do it all the time at home but we too live in quite a private area. Besides, I like being in my house coat! Their garden is a little ways from the house past a big barn, which by the way, has a large apartment at the top area of the barn. And it is beautiful. Back to the garden…it is large, completely fenced in with very high fencing and even more fencing inside. All the fencing is wire fencing inside and surrounds their strawberries, blueberries and I think one other thing. They have so many strawberries that I could’t believe my eyes. Larry had already picked and picked and picked and had a large container full of them. I asked if he was finished. He pointed to an area unpicked and I got to work (in my winter fluffy robe in 90 degree weather) and I picked and picked and picked. It was so awesome. I also ate and ate and ate. And they were good. At one point I look up and both Charlene and Larry are gone. Hmmm…sort of like Tom Sawyer and the paint brush. A little later they came back, I had two containers (about half the size each of the one Larry picked , almost full. In their hands they had three tall glasses filled with delicious fruit and veggie smoothies. It was break time! Charlene makes the absolute best smoothies which include so many vegetables that I am sure I get my entire “required” allotment of vitamins for the entire day! It felt refreshing going down. Their garden also consist of a large Blackberry patch and some other berry I can’t remember. It has been a late spring for them and many of their plants are just now being planted. The nights up here in the mountains get quite cold and the ground must warm up before planting. They have a beautiful area cleared that gets a lot of sun and their produce grows well. I saw a delicious looking row of kale that was already edible. The onions looked ample and large already but the tomatoes are not in the ground yet. Charlene starts everything from seeds so the tomatoes, peppers, and other things are in their little starting packets waiting for a bit warmer nights.
The chicken feathers lay ruffling in the wind at one end of the garden and Charlene can’t even talk about the loss of her chickens. They are young and inexperienced chickens and haven’t learned how to run for it yet. She had 6 now she has 4. They have an enclosed (top and sides) pen at the end of the garden that opens into the garden so that when they are there to watch them the chickens roam free. At night they are locked tightly in their roosting house. I think she may get fresh layers every spring.
I have no pics of the garden because I did not take my phone with me. I may go up today and pick more strawberries as hundreds more will probably be ready today as well. The plants are loaded. I’ll try to remember to take my Iphone.
In yesterday’s blog I mentioned going to late lunch and then going to climb my mountain (opps, I mean my rock). When the rock was first pointed out as a landmark to me I noticed how tall and sheer it seemed. When I was told that people climb up to the top I was imagining rock climbers on ropes and pullys. I was informed that it was that way for some but that there was also a narrow path that had been carved into the side of the rock that zig-zagged across two sides of the rock’s sheer sides. Hmmm…I wondered if I could walk that mountain trail on the side of a rock that stood 850 high? Open mouth, insert foot! “I want to climb that rock” I blurted out. That’s all it took. They took me seriously and before I knew it the time came for me to put my nerve where my mouth had plowed the way. I said to myself, “I CAN DO THIS”. I would never have attempted this two years ago when my health was so bad, I had absolutely no reliable balance, no muscles, no stamina and was so sick in so many ways. Here I was, speaking what I wanted to do (though in my heart there was trepidation), stepping out in faith that I could do it and trusting in my body enough to follow through with what I imagined. I first thought it, spoke it, believed it, took the first step and accomplished every step to the very top!
AND OH IT WAS SO AWESOME! To simply speak about it is so different that actually doing it. To read about it is but words on paper or a screen but the truth of the situation cannot be understood. So much of life I have only experienced through books, and the stories of others through them telling their story. Now I realize how much is lost in the telling versus the actual experience. I can’t even describe to you the thrill of each step, the feeling of being so alive, the joy of not experiencing pain as I took each step higher and higher, the sharpness of the wind on my sweating face as I crossed one side of the rock, (I keep wanting to call it a mountain but it is actually a rock) the awe and wonder of the delicate flowers that grow from the cracks of the rock, the sheer magnitude of the rock face in all its facets and moss and lichen covered surface, the dizzying heights as I climbed higher and higher with the drop off mere inches from my toes as I looked out over the beautiful Columbia River and mountain range beyond. How can one even imagine unless the experience is personal. Whatever your mountain is, go climb it, do it, live it, experience it. If you think you can, then you can!
I think back to all the words of wisdom I have gleaned from those I’ve met briefly and it now becomes alive and meaningful: “If you want to do something, start today”, “Don’t wait”, “If you think you can’t, you can’t”, “Don’t lose the little girl or boy inside of you”, “Live the life you only imagine you can live”, and so many other pearls of wisdom. I will never be able to express to others the true depths of my heart as to what this trip has done for me. I am living one of my dreams to reconnect with those I love, to give love to those I’ve never met, to in some small way influence others to dream bigger, to be partnered with God as your source of strength and intimacy, to give of myself that which I didn’t even realize I had to give and to be able to accept with gratitude the blessings that others have showered on me. I walk in a new sureness of God’s love and protection over my life. This entire journey has been one of learning and listening, and observing, and receiving. A journey of giving and touching and smelling and pulling someone close in an embrace that needs a hug and receiving hugs graciously when it is I that needs the touch and comfort of another. This journey has opened my heart. How do I explain that to anyone? I guess I don’t need to. This journey is designed by God for me. The beautiful thing is, that God has a journey for each and every one of us. It might not be 10,000 miles, but the journey can have just as much meaning when we open ourselves up to what the Lord has before us, if we are willing to step out and stretch our horizons and do and go wherever it is God wants us to go. It could be as close as your local grocery store or as far away as Africa, but it is your journey. Allow your heart to be teachable, spend time with God in that secret quiet place as you climb your rock. Go to the top with Him wherever he leads you. Raise your voice in praise and thanksgiving to the Creator of all the beauty and magnificence he has created for out pleasure. Do not take for granite even the smallest flower. Just be in God’s presence. That is all He asks, that you take time to know Him, acknowledge Him, praise Him.
When I arrived at the top of the mountain it was such a feeling of exhilaration and attainment. I imagined, I spoke it, I accomplished it. And I wanted to sing:
Song: SOMEBODY BIGGER THAN YOU AND I
Who made the mountains
Who made the trees
Who made the rivers
Flow to the seas
And who hung the moon in the starry sky?
Somebody bigger than you and I .
Who made the flowers
Bloom in the spring,
Who writes the song for the robin to sing
Who sends the rain
When the earth is dry?
Somebody bigger than you and I
He rights the way
When the road gets rough
Gives you company
With love to guide you
He walks beside you
Just like He walks with me
When I am weary
Filled with dispair
Who gives me courage
To go on from there
Who gives me strength
That will never die?
Somebody bigger than you and I
The words above are the words I remember from years ago so they may not be exactly right but the jest of the song is there. Before I had a chance to sing it three young men made it to the top. All three are recent graduates and all are 18 years old. Such freshness upon their faces, such hope and doubt all mingled together in their expressions. Hope for a new life opening up to them with the consternation of the unknown mingled in their brows. We had a delightful conversation, or at least I did. It wasn’t long before I got them talking about their hopes and dreams and words of wisdom. I love the words of wisdom from the freshness of the young.
The first one I spoke with was David, a fresh faced, wide eyed young man with a handsome face and countenance. Here are his words of wisdom: “Just know and realize that the pains of the past will leave and be gone and now I am entering adulthood where I won’t have those kinds of pains anymore. Just remember they will go away.” My comment: As we grow older we should never forget what it was like to grow up during our years of adolescence and to remember the intensity of how we felt and how easy our hearts could be broken. I wondered at the pains that David spoke of. I liked his attitude of hope for the future and resolution of his past.
The second young man I spoke with was Jose. Again, he was fresh and handsome, alive in his eyes. Here is his wisdom: ” Stay in school. Work hard to make good grades and learn. Even when you don’t know what you want to do in life, go to school, make good grades, and opportunities will come to you.” I agree Jose. Such sound, solid advice and wisdom coming from one so young. He told me his plans were to take classes this year at a college and if he still didn’t have direction in his life he planned to join the service to open up his door of opportunity to what he could do. Jose, you go for it! With an attitude like that you will succeed. And thank you for your willingness to serve our country. I pray God’s protection over your life.
The third young man was quiet and strong and thoughtful. His name is Osvaldo. What a great unique name on the English tongue. Osvaldo told me that he works in the world of agriculture and it is a world of difficulty, hard work, and lots of struggles. Here is his wisdom: “We must have empathy for those who are struggling and working so hard and to help them through their difficulties.” My heart was crying silently as I listened to the compassionate way Osvaldo spoke. I looked at the strength his body displayed and knew he was a long time hard worker. But, he graduated! Now he wants to go on to do something for others who have suffered like he has. His empathy was real and ran deep in his heart. So much you can learn in just a few short moments with someone when you ask what it is they have learned that they wish they could share with others. I just wanted to hug him, but didn’t want to embarrass him, so I refrained. The hug came later.
About that time a group of five other newly graduated peers ascended the peak of Beacon rock. Things were a bit noisy for awhile and then I turned around and looked at all these kids and said, since you are up here I might as well tell you that I came up here to sing. If you would like to stay and listen you may but please do not leave once I start or I might get my feelings hurt. Leave now, or stay. They all stayed. I looked out over the peak of the mount to all that God had created and sang the words of the song above at the top of my voice. There was polite silence and then a burst of applause when I finished. I had tears of joy in my heart as I sang, I had reached the top. Perhaps just a small accomplishment you might think, but to me it was my Mount Everest! Though the height of the rock is 850 it is over a mile walk to climb to the top and it’s all uphill, steep hill at that. And it was worth it.
I so wanted to pray with “my three boys” but with all their friends there I felt it was not appropriate to single them out. Larry and I finally left to rejoin Charlene, who sat in the car below on her bad hip that needs replacing, thus she could not make the climb. A few moments later the three lads caught up with us and stopped to talk again, or maybe I stopped them to talk, can’t remember for certain, but anyway I asked them if I could pray for them. They seemed a bit puzzled at the suggestion, as if they had never been prayed for before, but they all agreed and joined hands with Larry and I. When the prayer was over I extended my hand to shake the first one closest to me and he said no, he wanted to hug me. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me so tight and long that I knew he meant it. I knew at that moment that I had, in some small way, touched his life. The other two quickly followed suite and I had two more awesome hugs. I loved it. And I loved giving them their hug. Isn’t God good? He gave me the desire of my heart to pray for them when I waited until the right time. Oh, how great is our God! I shall remember these faces and names and the accent of Osvaldo as he shared his heart. If I could say but one thing here I would implore you to reach out to those around you and touch each life in some way that God brings to you. When you are willing, God will bring those who need a touch. Such short contact and I may never know the outcome of our meeting, but God, in some small way has been introduced to their thinking and an adult has made them know that they are important in this world and their wisdom and advice does have meaning.
And I thank all or any of you who have not given upon on this post and actually read to the end. I think I like writing in the morning of yesterday’s events. It gives me time to digest that which happened and for me to make since of my day. We came home, Charlene made a delicious salmon dinner and we sat down to eat at 10:10 p.m. It was so delicious. I don’t have time right now but I copied the recipe and plan to put it on the blog. I have people that ask me if I have a favorite Salmon recipe. Well, now I do. I’ll share it later.
Following is the poem I wrote last night before I went to bed.
I CLIMBED MY MOUNTAIN
by Kathleen Martens
June 6, 2015
Each step I take
I am closer to God.
Each hour I live
I have less time on this sod.
Communing in nature
Draws me closer
To the heart of God
For a great big dose.
To walk my mountain
Though it be but a stone,
It was my Mt. Everest
On my way home.
I knew I could do it
For I said I could.
So I purposed my heart
And said I would.
A mile of steep angles
850 feet in the air
Put one step in front of another
To get me there.
Vistas so amazing
No camera can tell
Of the beauty God created
And presented so well.
River and Mountains
That meet the sky,
My heart seemed to soar
And wanted to fly.
Delicate flowers
On pathways of stone,
Incredible views
As I neared God’s throne.
An experience I treasure,
For I could still do
What I desired
To see God’s view.
And I thank my Father
For those He sends,
Wherever I go
He brings me friends.
I thank Him too
For the beauty prepared
That is always waiting
Before I get there.
I climbed my mountain!
My heart is unlocked,
For God is my fortress
My SOLID ROCK!
P.S. Be sure and browse down and see some of the photos I posted last night before I got out of cell service area. The first one is a picture of the strawberries Larry and I picked. Not all of them. I had fun designing my display for you. Hopefully I will get to label the photos later. Must go for now.
Have a great day!
Saturday May 23, 2015 DAY 76 HOW GREAT IS THIS DAY!
Every day I must peek at yesterday’s title to see what this day is. 76 Days of my journey are in the past. I wonder how many will be in the future? I ask myself, am I on the way home now? And then I realize that I am not on a trip, I am on a journey. To me the difference being, a trip has a certain place and time to be somewhere and then a return trip is necessary to return from where you started. I don’t see my journey as that way at all. A journey is setting out and perhaps not knowing exactly where you are going or when you will be there. The presence of the moment IS the journey and the reason for the journey. Each day stands alone in the stepping stones leading you to places unknown. My journey is two fold: a place of time and space as to where I am, and a journey of the heart and spirit of the internal me. I know I have said this before, but it is true, EVERYDAY I AM LEARNING! My spirit is becoming more peaceful, my heart is expanding, love grows inside me for the beautiful country I live in, and I am amazed that there are so many kind people wherever I go.
My cousin Daneece were out in the car today and she made a statement about “going home” and it made me stop and think about all the ways we “go home”. I go home everyday when I settle in to talk to my husband. Some days it is just for two or three minutes, but while I am on the phone with him I experiencing a little bit of “going home”. I think I go home when I pause and think of my house, it’s surroundings, what is growing now and thinking of the changes of the seasons in Wisconsin . I “go home” when I pull up the photos on my IPhone of my two grandsons. It is then the smile in my heart gets bigger and I have such satisfaction knowing they are there for me to see again someday. I “go home” daily. Not with sadness for being apart, but it is with joy I think of all that going home means, for it is my place of refuge and peace and calm in all these vast miles I’ve traveled. It is my little piece of the world that I share with the one I love most dearly. It is where I truly belong. Though I have seen much, experienced many different acquaintances along the way, enjoyed every hour I’ve been alive since leaving home, there truly is no place like home. I look at all the people around me in this vast and busy world and wonder about where there home is, what is it like, is it peaceful and a place of refuge or is there strife and turmoil and heartache that awaits them at the end of their trip? And the truth is, I’ll never know. All I can know for certain is that when I return home I will return to a sanctuary.
When I think of returning to the place I belong it makes me think of the even greater journey I am on the journey to heaven. It makes me realize that as big and beautiful as this world is, it is not my home. As the song goes, “This world is not my home, I’m just a passing through”. It keeps me focused on my true purpose for being on earth, and simply said, my reason is to take as many with me to heaven as I can. And when I think of heaven’s home I realize that there is one there who loves me more than I can even comprehend. How awesome is that! It makes me excited about the journey I am on, both returning to the one I love and who loves me AND someday going to the place where I am so loved that it is beyond my understanding. I have an awesome Father who loves me enough to allowed His son to die for me that I would someday be where He is.
Now, to what I did with this absolutely great day! I slept in until almost 7:00 a.m. I talked to Dave for over an hour before I got out of bed. I wrote my blog for yesterday. Daneece and I went shopping for the pizza ingredients I needed to make my super delicious, awesome pizza! It is my own recipe. Came home, made the pizzas in the pleural and then froze them for future eating. Worked up a flat of strawberries that needed freezing. Took the chicken off the bone so I could boil the bones into broth to make Quinoa tomorrow. Did my wash, prepared dinner. Still doing my wash, must iron my clothes for tomorrow and it is almost 11:00 p.m. and then put the chicken broth in containers in the fridge. I think I did a lot more things but too many to remember. So this absolutely great day has turned out to be a bit longer than I had intended.
I love all you out there in never never land. Church comes early so I will go and proofread tomorrow. No photos today as I didn’t do much to warrant them.
Hopefully I’ll write more tomorrow.
Monday May 4, 2015 Day 58 Roses and More Roses
Note to readers: For some reason my computer changes the date of each day’s entry when I post it. The entry below was written and posted on Monday May 4, 2015. Day 58
Yeah! I found another gym to work out at this week for only $10.00 for a week’s pass. The other was free for 3 days only and then $25.00 per day. No thank you! The new fitness center has a great gym, small and cozy but excellent equipment.
After our workouts Jeanette and I headed out for an adventure. We decided to do a tour of the local area’s Arboretums and Botanical gardens. We first went to the Ruth Bancroft Garden in Walnut Creek. When we arrived, to our disappointment we discovered they are closed on Monday. It looked like a really great place! From there we drove to another location in Walnut Creek, The Gardens of Heather Farm and that one was open. It was on the small side (probably one full square block which included parking). It was well worth going to. Primarily it was a rose garden (again, one of my favorite flowers) and a small like/pond that you could walk around. I’ll post a few pics if any turned out on my IPhone. We stayed quite awhile and enjoyed the roses. There were a lot of them for me to smell so it took awhile! I think I will post a lot of the pics I took today so you can enjoy the roses too.
After the Gardens of Heather Farm we stopped in Concord Markham Nature Park and Arboretum. That too was well worth it. It was a wild habitat with only native plants from the area. Very rugged with a simple beauty. We got a little carried away with the hiking and realized we were in dangerous overly rugged territory and turned around and made it out safely. Actually going down was a bit more dangerous than the going up had been. Jeanette had a hip replacement just two months ago and I certainly did not want to hurt myself and need a hip replacement. Not much light in the woods so don’t have many pics. Besides, we had to watch every step carefully so we wouldn’t fall into the almost empty waterway and I couldn’t focus on photos.
On the way home we stopped at Costco so I could stock up on a few things. Picked out what I needed only to get up to the register and Costco would not take Visa. I did not think I would have enough cash with me. However, when I got my money out I had exactly enough dollars (and not a dollar more) to pay for my items. How is that for cutting it close. My cash was elsewhere and I didn’t have it with me.
Once home we prepared a dinner fit for a king! My kind of food! That’s why it was so good! Shh..don’t tell Jeanette!
It is even earlier than normal and I’ve already finished my daily blog! WOW! So…I will use a little of my time to share something I wanted to share way back when it happened. For about three weeks when my trip was young I did not have WiFi and thus got very behind in writing. I want to tell you one of the stories that happened then. There are three main stories in sequence I will tell over the next few days.
Story #1 THE MIRACLE
On March 19th Russellville was in my rear view mirror and Euless Texas loomed ahead. It was a long drive to Euless where my cousin Janet and her husband Chuck lived. I was driving there so I would have a stop over on my way to San Antonio Texas. It was a very short overnight stay at Janet’s before I was to leave for San Antonio. On the 20th when I preparing to leave I receive a call from Peggy and Dave who were my next destination. Rain and flood warning were being issued for the areas I would be driving through and the news stated that if you didn’t have to travel it might be best not to get on the road. This put a pondering in my thoughts. I called the emergency road condition number for the Texas Patrol and was told if I stayed off the interstate and went the back roads it would probably be safer for me. I called Dave and he told me to ask the Lord and do what the Lord directed. So I did just that. I prayed and this was what I believed the Lord impressed in my heart:
“You can do all things through me for you have My strength. Trust Me-allow peace to reign in your heart. Use wisdom and continually ask for more wisdom. The more you give love to others and do My work, the more evil will rear its head to fight and try to stop you. I call My angels to do My bidding–fear not the wars that rage around you, for your strength is in Me and My blood covers you. Speak in authority and the evil one flees. Trust! Stand firm. It is going through the perils of life that make you stronger. Fear not, for I am with you. My rod and My staff will comfort you. Go with a brave heart. You are my beloved and I am with you.”
So I decided to go.
The speed limit in Texas is 75 mph on most roads. Some highway speed limit is 80 mph. And that is on highways with light signals. Go figure that one out. Well, that particular day it was raining cats and dogs. The highway was divided and the speed limit was posted at 75 mph. To Texans I don’t think heavy rains means slowing down one little bit. If anything they keep pushing the speed limit and continue going 80-85 mph. I kid you not! They drive like maniacs. Well, I drove 75 mph just so I wouldn’t get run over in the slow lane. The road was divided and it slowed down periodically to go through little spread out towns. Then of course in the country part of the driving there were occasional light signals that allowed traffic cross. I saw one such light a ways ahead as it turned yellow. I had plenty of time to stop, nothing was following me closely and I was in the right lane of two lanes going in one direction with a high earthen berm separating the oncoming traffic. As I approached the intersection the light turned red just as I stopped. The yellow light is rather longer that usual yellow lights (perhaps to compensate for the 75 mph speed limit). I was sitting at the light approximately 3 or 4 seconds when a double cabbed, large pick-up truck pulling a large, loaded down trailer behind it, zoomed by me on the right (where there was no lane) out into the intersection. He was trying to get control of his truck and trailer, in the rain , on wet pavement, and it wasn’t going to happen as long as he was applying his breaks. I did not see where he came from, nor did I see him approach. On the right side of me there was a cement raised area where a light pole stood. This truck went by at about 60 plus mph, did not scratch my car, did not hit the light pole and I could swear there was not enough room for that big truck and trailer to sidle by me. It was amazing.
Since he couldn’t not stop the vehicle and the cross traffic was coming over the berm, the driver had to accelerate and keep on going. As soon as he swooshed by me I was so shocked I just spoke out loud, “Why’d he do that?” in a very perplexed tone of voice. In my heart I thought I actually audibly heard the answer, “Because he could not stop” in a very matter of fact, purposeful answer. Followed by the words “Now do you trust Me?“. Whew! that was a close call. I had no fear or adrenaline rush as I never saw him until he was already past me. All I know, it was a miracle for that large truck to get between me and that light pole, gain control of his vehicle and trailer on wet pavement, and have no one hurt or killed.
That morning before I pulled out of the driveway of my cousin’s home in Euless Texas I prayed a very diligent prayer that God would put double the angels around my car and place on duty his biggest and strongest angels. I said a lot more of that but that was part of what I prayed. After the above situation took place a laughter bubbled up within me as I imagined His angels surrounding my car and just directing that truck right around my little Kia Soul and through that narrow gap beside me. God protected me in that moment. I trusted Him before I left. I trusted Him even more in that moment! Just to retell this story to you again renews my trust in His love and protection over me. Thank you to all who are praying for me on this trip.
I arrived in San Antonio Texas safe and sound! And that is when the stories start getting even better. Remember, as God’s children we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
Here is the poem I wrote after that miracle.
WHY’D HE DO THAT?
Each hour unknown as what is to come,
As to what will happen going to and from.
All I know is I’ll pave the way
By taking time each morning to pray.
Just as yesterday I prayed God’s will
That I be in His presence, busy or still,
To watch over me and protect my well being
From all that can happen which I am not seeing.
I ask for His angels to take extra care
That wherever I am they will be there’
In the authority of Jesus, Angels are at His call,
Whatever He commands, they do it all.
Their protection I felt; as disaster was averted,
The power of Jesus was definitely asserted.
A horrible collision did not take place
As angels guided the driver through a narrow space.
I sat in silence as angels swarmed my car
As the truck zoomed by not missing by far.
I asked out loud “Why’d he do that?”
And the answer came, “Because He could not stop”.
And then I understood the power of God’s force
That he could change a driver’s course.
Because of my prayers and my trust in Him
I am whole today in life and limb.
Thank You Lord for the protection you give
In all my hours of the life I live.
Your glory reigns within my heart
As my every day, with You starts.
by Kathleen Martens
March 21, 2015
I thank God for His protection. And believe me, I do trust Him.
Good night. It is now 10:28 and time for bed!!!
April 30 2015 Day 54 San Francisco Here I Come!
Right back where I started from. Well, not completely back quite that far. I was born in Arkansas but grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area until I married in 1973. And here I am again. There have been times when I said I would never come back to California and yet, here I am. Actually planning a trip to San Francisco proper for later next week. The rest of the time I’ll stay in the East Bay Area. Seems a little safer. San Francisco is beautiful to look from a distance but up close it is crowded and quite messy to navigate in. My word of wisdom for today is if you have a stick shift car don’t take it to San Francisco. It is dangerous on those hills.
Left beautiful Monterey this morning. It is always too soon to leave Monterey, the city by the sea. I am still living in the memory of the beauty I experienced there. And today, well today, I am in rows and rows of houses and long congested streets and lots and lots of people. It was around 40 plus years ago I watched this community of San Ramon grow and bloom into masses of people. At that time the trees were little. Now the city is a paradise of huge growth trees planted when I was a young woman. The streets are dark and shady and the homes have aged gracefully with beautiful lines of integrity. All in all, despite the miles and miles of homes it is a beautiful place to live. The surrounding hills show a light touch of green desiring to burst forth from last week’s rain. The brown grasses prevail on most slopes and often overshadow the hint of green. It give a beautiful aura standing proud above all the homes. This area consist of several canyons. A flat area of land where the streets and houses expand out to rolling hills setting stage for the mountains.
I have never seen so many mountains in my lifetime as I have experienced on this trip. It seems every state has their own particular design of mountains and they just keep going on and on, especially as I travel north as the mountains go north to south. The problem is, there is just no snow on them. Only saw a few very tall mountains with some snow and that was the day after the snow storm in Denver Colorado. By the time I left Denver most of the snow had already melted on the slopes. Pray for rain.
When I was in Oakhurst at my aunt and uncles home (by Yosemite) one of my uncles horses took a bad slide on the mud and fell hurting herself pretty badly. I called the other day to see how “Toby” was doing. She is doing okay and will survive but it will take a long time for her recovery. My uncle loves to ride and has actually taken his horses up to Yosemite National Park and ridden the trails there where no one can go without a horse. I can’t even imagine the beauty he must have seen. Well, I said all that to say this: When I was on the phone my uncle Jetton asked me if I missed being home. I told him I would think about it and blog my way through that question. He said, no, I just want a spontaneous answer right now. So I said, no, I don’t miss home. I miss my husband and family but I don’t miss being home. He asked me when my halfway point was and when I’d be turning around to go home. I told them I had no half way point, and as as far as I was concerned, that from the moment I left home I was on a journey that was leading home. I think the reason for that is that I truly do live in the moment. There is no other moment but the one I am living in. Each experience is an experience unto itself, to be savored fully for the moment(s) I am experiencing it and then I let it go for then I am living in another moment. Yes, there will be a time when am home again and then I will be experiencing the joy and thrill of that moment. But, to wish I was someplace else, or miss someplace else because I am not there would just rob me of the fullness of the joy I am feeling where ever I am at that moment.
Today was a special day in the fact that I had no plans except traveling from one location to the next. And the good part was that it was less than 100 miles away. It was a beautiful drive and I missed all the commute traffic by leaving in the middle of the day and arriving here about 3:00 p.m.
And I am here with my childhood friend Jeanette and her husband. Today was Jeanette’s last day on the clock at work. As of closing time today she is retired. She had her hip replaced in February and was on disability leave and today that leave expired. She says she doesn’t know yet how it feels to be retired. Funny thing, neither do I. But I’m practicing. Jeanette and I met when we were 12 years old at church in Oakland California. Our mother’s became good friends and thus we stayed in contact also. We had our babies close together and our boys used to play together. Well tonight one of Jeanett’s boys was on a TV show called “IT TAKES A CHURCH”. He was the bachelor looking for a prospective wife. The only thing was that it wasn’t him who did the choosing. The show was filed at his church with his friends and his pastor watching the auditions of the girls that would like to be chose and then the church chose the four finalist. Then it was up to Ryan to make the final choice. Of course mom and dad were proud as punch watching their young son (in his 30’s) do an excellent job of being himself. I’ve know Ryan all my life and he is a wonderful young man. I once did a model shoot for him in San Francisco at the Palace of Fine Arts. He is a gorgeous man as well as a great guy. We were all rooting for our favorite gal. We all chose the same favorite for of course we knew just which one would be the best for him! And he didn’t fail to deliver! We haven’t heard from after the show’s debut so we are wondering if they hit it off and are still dating. This was filmed several months ago and his parents did not know a thing about it until they were told a couple of days ago that the show was coming on. What a surprise they received when they watched the program because they didn’t know what it was about or what his part in the show would be. It felt very satisfying to be here and have the opportunity to watch this show with his parents. It was a fun night. Ryan lives and works in Southern California so he is not home very often. Ryan is an R.N.
Oh, one more incident I want to tell you about. I have a friend that lives a few blocks from Jeanette in this same neighborhood. We have been friends for 60 years. We met because we lived in the “housing projects”. My family of 5 girls lived in a small three bedroom apartment on the top floor. Albert’s family of four kids lived in the apartment below us. That made for a lot of angst with his dad because I often went to sleep with my coffee can full of marbles on my bed only to have them topple over in the night and hit the linoleum floor above Albert’s dad’s bedroom. Not a pretty sight to have him come upstairs banging on our apartment door saying things I can’t say here on my blog. Well that is how we met. We have been true friends ever since. Albert is retired now and he and his partner live close by Jeanette’s house. Jeanette and I were off on a journey to find out if I could get some passes to a gym and on the spur of the moment I asked her if we could stop by Albert’s. Albert did not know I was coming or in the area. Jeanette and I knocked on the door and Mark answered, looked at me and I just stood there with a silly grin and forgot to say anything. I could tell he did not recognize me. My friend Judy and I stayed with Albert and Mark 4 years ago when I was here for a planning session for an event I was “co-producing with a cousin”. Finally Jeanette asked if Albert was there. Mark recognized her. When Albert came to the door he immediately knew who I was and then poor Mark was embarrassed for not knowing me. I guess that is what happens when you grow as old as I did in such a short time as four year. He actually did not recognize me because of the hair style and the 80 pound weight loss. It was fun none the less to surprise them. They immediately made us feel welcome and we had a great short visit. I told them I had to do something to write about in my blog. The back of their house opens up to a beautiful yard. In standards of Wisconsin yards it is pretty small but he has made a small place absolutely beautiful. Other than the pics I took there I have no others today. I will post some for you to see. He has a rose garden oasis. This is blooming time in drought ridden California so these flowers are very precious.
I asked Mark what his words of wisdom would be. Here is his answer: “When you look at your life and see you have less time ahead than you have behind, take a a trip”. He said he did just that and had an amazing time. It seemed he really connected with why I wanted to go on this trip. He understood the value of the journey, one moment at a time, experiencing what life brought to you in each moment. That is somewhat how I feel. The value for me is what God brings to me. Everyday I see God’s hand and direction in my life and I am so grateful for the opportunity of this journey. It really is a journey of a lifetime.
Thank you for those who take time to read these pages. I do not feel bad if you do not read them, if they are too long, too boring or too time consuming. For me it is documentation of my journey of today and melding the moments of my past into the beauty of the present. This journey is bringing back so many memories and I find that regardless how uncomfortable some of the situations I’ve experienced are, I no longer have pain from any memory. All the negatives have been let go and there is no longer any pain associated with any one memory. All the pain has been released through the healing presence of Christ living within me for He has shown me the truth of what really is. It is a wonderful place to live.
And every day I learn something.
Good Night
April 26 2015 Day 50 My last full day with Sue
My last full day with Sue. Forty two years ago she stood by myside as Dave and I spoke our vows. Forty two years of life lived by each of us. So many roads travelled. So many experiences experienced. As stories unfold I comprehend that I could use just the story of one life to write a mini-series or several volumes of books. And as I speak and share with others I realize that I too have accumulated a lifetime of stories. The stories of this trip are also accumulating. I am beginning to see some of the lessons that God has prepared for me to learn. Day after day the building blocks of my trip are beginning to take shape. They come in the form of each experience, each person I meet, the roads I travel, the words I speak, the words others speak to me, and even in the beds I sleep in.
I have slept on soft beds, hard beds, couches, air mattresses, on fold out beds, in low beds and in high beds needing stairs to climb into them, in living rooms, in kitchens, in twin beds, in a toddler bed and in beds fit for a king. I have slept on new sheets and worn sheets and smooth sheets and rough sheets, clean sheets and sheets that had been previously used. I haven’t slept on the floor… YET… One thing I have discovered, no matter which bed I was in I slept like a baby. And for that I thank God. It has been amazing. As I think back over these places of rest the stories surrounding the beds surface in my memory. So many that haven’t been told and may never be told, tucked into that special place of my heart to be savored only by me. Friends and faces and surroundings and incidents all come flooding back into my memory. I will take them home with me.
Every day I am learning; about the world, about others, about God, about myself. Today was a God learning day. My friend Sue wanted to go someplace different today for church. She gave me the scenarios of what she knew about different churches in the area but didn’t know which one to choose. I felt impressed that we should go to Calvary Chapel in Modesto. So we did. EXCELLENT CHOICE! After looking back over the day I believe it was a God inspired choice. The praise and worship service was amazing and the teaching was illuminating. Senior Pastor, Damian Kyle, used the scripture reference Isaiah 66:1-6 as his topic. I deduced that this was the last day of the series of sermons on Isaiah. The last teaching of the Isaiah series was tonight at the 6:00 p.m. service. Sue and I planned to attend but our day zoomed by too quickly and we couldn’t make it back. I do hope I can listen to the entire series on Isaiah online as I do my workouts. The only problem with that is that I can’t take notes and get into the deep study of the series while exercising. Reverend Kyle’s presentation just opened up the scriptures with understanding and comprehension that I had not understood previously. To discover Damian Kyle’s teaching is like a gift presented to last a long, long time. I thank God for my ears that I can hear so I can learn more and more about who God really is. And I thank God for a teachable spirit. If you don’t have one just ask God for one and I’m certain there are a lot of things He’d like to teach you.
Not only was the teaching excellent but from the time we stepped out of the car onto the parking lot we could feel the friendliness of the people around us, from the grounds attendants, to the greeters at the door, to the people in the restrooms, concluding with those sitting around us. I have never felt so genuinely welcomed at a church service as I did at Calvary Chapel, Modesto. I was also very impressed with all the volunteers, each doing separate jobs preparing the building for the next congregating of “THE CHURCH”.
So much packed into the session this morning that I can’t go into it all here. I would recommend going to the website www.ccmodesto.com and do some exploring. Believe me, I already did and am excited to see listed all the topics I will be able to listen to.
It was so refreshing to be so welcomed into “The Family of God” in a “foreign” land. Thank you Robyn and John and Jenny and husband and Mrs. B. You helped make this Sunday Sabbath special! God bless all of you!
Sue and I have had a wonderful time remembering the good and the bad times, filling in the blank episodes of our lives that we hadn’t shared before and just loving being in each other’s presence again. I do hope all of you have this kind of friend to remember with in your later years. Sometimes the remembering is easier than it was going through it. And life has a different perspective when looking back, a little older, a little wiser. The best part…we can look back and know we survived. I can look back and see all the times when God was right there beside me as I trudged through the cement of life. So much more to tell.
Yesterday I said I would write part of an essay I wrote about 47 or 48 years ago. If the typing goes fast I’ll write the entire essay I wrote as a teenager:
*************************************************************************************
THE FUTURE IS TOMORROW
In the beginning God…In the beginning God created…And our beginning was created by God. And we were created for a purpose.
Where were you in 1872? Where will you be tomorrow? Tomorrow is our future. What we, you and I, do with it is completely up to us. Tomorrow is our future. Yesterday is gone. Soon tomorrow will be gone. What will we, as Christians, do with our lives? Is the future really ours? How can we as individuals be certain we will have a future?
Life is now lived at an exceedingly fast pace. Violence and death are nothing unexpected. Individuals are abused and slaughtered; whole nations can be wiped out by one bomb. What is life anyway and how can we be so sure we will be here tomorrow? Too often “tomorrow”, “next week”, and “nest month: are taken for granted. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” The familiar phrase that has certainly been spoken by many of us at one time or another. As one character in the popular play, THE MUSIC MAN, said, “Pile up a bunch of tomorrows and you’ll find you’ll end up with a lot of empty yesterdays.” These words are so very true. What is a future if we don’t use it now? Empty?? The future is ours because of what we do with it now. We must live to the fullest of God’s plan for us as individuals. Not by saying, “I will do”, or “I did”, but by doing His (God’s) will and works for our lives now. The future is ours because through a day by day walk with God we can claim each day not for ourselves but for God; awakening with the thought, what can I do for my neighbor, my friends, my pastor, my country…for GOD?
What we do today will reflect what happens tomorrow and the many more to come. God has not definitely said, “I promise you a tomorrow,” but when this physical life is ended our tomorrow with Christ will begin…for eternity. The future is ours only because we live in the complete will of God today.
And that is what I wrote all those years ago. This was the entire essay.
Good night. It is 11:23 p.m. and I am going to eat dinner and go to bed. My dinner will be goat cheese, peanut butters and an orange. I don’t like eating quite this late but my lunch was at 2:00 p.m..
I’m hitting the road Jack…
But I do “want to come back for more”!
FINALLY! Saturday March 7 2015 is my expected date to leave. Hopefully I will be packed up and ready to fly between 5:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.. I Have a luncheon date in St. Louis with a very special hunk of a man! (And his wife). And when I say hunk, I mean hunk! He is my beloved nephew Eric, first born son of my late brother. Eric is as special as he is big. When I get there I’ll take a picture of this late middle aged nephew of mine and show you just how handsome he is. Maybe just being handsome runs in the family. Eric has a heart for the Lord and his spirit is gentle. In my eyes he is a gentle giant in so many ways. I look forward to visiting with both Eric and his wife.
Between flight take-off in my little Silver Fox (yes, my car has a name too, as well as Soul) I have about 10 more days of preparation I’d like to do. So I must zoom it all in three days and still make sure I have time to go and say my farewells to two more beautiful men, my precious grandsons ages three and seven. I think the farewells will be the most difficult part of the “getting ready to go” aspect of my journey. Then one son, one daughter-in-law and my precious husband of 42 years I must bid goodbye. And that is the sum total of my family living in Wisconsin.
I’ll try to post another update on Saturday night when I reach my destination of Rolla, Missouri. Must sign off as I actually need to accomplish a few thousand things today.
A Different Kind of Journey
My thoughts keep flitting to “where I should be right now” if I had left on schedule. But…that was not to be. Over the past few years God has taken me on some personal journeys. One journey in particular was learning how to live in the moment. That was something I could not do for many years of my life. Do I have it mastered? Perhaps not, but I am so much more content living in the present of each moment I live than I was in the past.
Tomorrow, Monday March 2nd is an important day for me. My husband and I will see the surgeon who will give us the results of my breast biopsy on the two growths growing inside me. Will they be malignant? That is a question I cannot help wonder about. And WONDER is the operative word in this sentence. I have not been worried, upset, sleepless, or discouraged. Worrying about something I have no control over only robs me of my current joy. I choose to think positive, believe positive, and trust in God’s plan for my life as I live in this moment. This moment is the only time I actually live and I will not squander it with worry.
I will send out an update tomorrow. This is a different kind of journey than I thought I would be taking at this time but day by day it will unfold and I will live each day to the fullest regardless the diagnosis I receive on Monday. Everyone has a different journey, a different adventure and when you have the Lord with you , you are never alone and never need fear. How awesome is that!
Visions of Poetry 