Sunday Sabbath June 7 2015 Day 95 ENJOYING RETIREMENT PRACTICE
Oh how sweet to hear the beautiful music drifting down to my level. Guitar with instrumental background accompaniment. Found out something new about Charlene last night. I was sitting down here in the lower level when beautiful stands of guitar music came out of nowhere. It sounded so close and so real, not like recorded music. I had to get up and be snoopy and go upstairs. There sat Charlene strumming beautiful sounds on a guitar. WOW! I didn’t know she played the guitar. She informed me that she is taking lessons. Visions of the door of retirement keep opening before me. Charlene is also learning Spanish and goes to Pilates workout each week. Not yet even mentioning the greatest part of her retirement yet…personal travel tour guide around the greater Columbia Gorge area. I don’t think there is a back road around that she doesn’t know where it goes, and that includes the gravel roads. She and Larry and extended themselves way beyond what I would have ever dreamed or expected of anyone to do for me. I told her that I have learned a great deal from her. I have think I have a better understanding now of how to help my guests have the best time possible if they come to see me. My mind just wasn’t opened to that before. I didn’t know how awesome it would be to have someone who knew the area to be your guide and driver and informant. Can’t wait now to have guests so I can go out and enjoy them showing them the sights.
The doors of opportunity of a different lifestyle beckon me. I have two more weddings to complete, one senior portrait to finish and a baby session to workup and I will lay my professional camera down. I will be finished with that stage of my life. I do plan to continue with “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep” bereavement photos of newborns but do not plan on any studio sessions at all. It has been wonderful doing what I have done. When I discovered photography as a profession it was if my passion had opportunity to surface. I have loved what I have done and never tired of it. I am not tired of photography but there is so much I feel I need to accomplish before I lay my mantel down and in order to do so I must first learn to enjoy being separated from the professional, pressured aspect of it being work. Photography and writing will now come together to enable me to accomplish that which I believe I am called to do. It is time for me to finish up some of the writing I have started and to begin new projects. But first, I will put in time to enjoy the leisure of unstructured time, at least for part of the day. I work well under disciplined time and know that will be part of my day but not in its entirety. I truly wonder what lasting effects and benefits this journey will have for me. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed with the gratitude, to myself and to others, for allowing this journey to take place. It was not done on a whim but with thought and some planning. And further planning has taken places along the way. I have plans now until June 24th and then I am free on the wind. Where will I go? Who will I see? Who will I meet that is new? How many miles yet to go? Only God knows.
I know I am sounding more and more as if I am at my journey’s end but I am not at the end yet. What is ahead is still a mystery to me, one I anticipate with joy, but at the same time still living in the moment I am in, experiencing everything with total concentration and exhilaration of the moment. I am continually looking forward, thankful for the past. The past mingles with the presence in changing my attitude, incorporating the new wisdom I’ve learned, the events I lived through, the joys and sorrows I’ve experienced. I am who I am today because of all my yesterdays. How can I wish to change anything that made me who I am today. I love being who I am, a child of the Living God. Are all my past experience good? No, not by a long shot, but sometimes it actually that which happens that is not good that God uses to His glory and creates beauty from our sorrow. He has done that for me, even on this trip. He can do that for you if you have regrets and places of unforgiveness in your heart. Just open yourself up to living in the present presence of our God and He can mend your broken heart, he can take that which is not good and turn it into something beautiful. You may be able to touch a life you would not otherwise connect with, just because you did experience things that were not good.
There is a card that I have made from some beautiful artwork that my friend David Schrank drew and designed. The words are so meaningful and come from scripture. I want to write them here. Please read each line carefully and ask yourself is this the way you think of love and do you follow this pattern with those you love. The words are so powerful.
“Love never gives up
Cares more for others than self
does not want what it does not have
does not strut
does not swell the head
does not force itself on others
is not always me first
does not fly off the handle
does not keep score of sins
does not revel when others hurt
takes pleasure in the flowering of the truth
puts up with anything
trusts God always
always looks for the best to the end
never looks back
Love never dies”
I read these words and ask myself, am I living up to this standard of love? Ask yourself that question. It is powerful and mind awakening. Thank you David Schrank for your design on the cards I have made. I have enjoyed giving each one away. I pray that the words will touch the lives of all who have received one.
Now perhaps I should mention what we did yesterday, Sunday June 7, 2015. I tried to watch online the service at City Church and could not get it to come in on the computer. So I wrote instead. Then spent the morning visiting with Charlene and Larry, ate a late lunch and headed out for a new adventure. I was primarily sightseeing. We drove to Oregon from Washington where Charlene lives. Washington is just across the Columbia River but it takes a long ways to get to the bridge to get across. All beautiful scenery. We went from mountain bluffs, through little quaint towns (remember no fast food places) peppered with many cute little restaurants. We saw farms and cattle and fields of elk roaming wild, vineyards, orchards, and our final destination was Mount Hood in Mt. Hood Oregon. I mistakenly stated that the Mt. Adams, the mountain we went to a few days ago was in Oregon. Mt Adams is not is Oregon, it is in Washington. All of the large mountains in this area are volcanic mountains. I believe the last volcanic eruption of Mt. Hood was in 1868. It was so powerful that during the eruption it pushed so much land mass that it relocated a lake a half mile higher on a mountain than it had originally been. You could still see the large crater on the side of the mountain. There weren’t many trees on the mountain even after all these years. There was not much snow either. That was a sad sight. The mountain looked like grey ash and stone. There was a large dry riverbed below the mountain and it actually had a trickle of water just a few feet wide in some places. The massive river bed bed was dry. I think it was called the White River (I may be incorrect but I think that is what I remember being told). It was sad to see.
The taller isolated volcanic mountains still have some snow to melt but very little. The Columbia river is very low and the smaller ones are dried up, meaning they are no longer feeding the Columbia river. The Columbia river is no longer able to reach the Mexico border due to the volume of water being used in the U.S. I wonder how long it will be before it dries up farther and farther to the north. Remember to be thankful for the rains when they come to your area. The west coast is becoming a dry and weary land.
Today we plan a trip to Mount St. Helen. Many of you may remember the explosion in 1980 when Mt. St. Helen blue her top. Several were killed and the ash was carried thousands of miles from its origination. It will be interesting to see what recovery has since taken place. It has be 35 years ago, longer than a lifetime to some. I remember seeing the mountain a couple years after the eruption and it was sobering and sad to see. Nature’s force, beyond man’s control, is a powerful force to reckon with. And just to think that God is even more powerful.
I guess I will write about my experience to Mt. St. Helen tomorrow. Let’s go back to yesterday. After visiting Mt Hood we stopped at a cherry orchard and bought cherries. They were picked right at the farm where I bought them but that doesn’t mean they are less costly. I didn’t really care how much they cost after I tasted one. It was the true epitome of what a firm, fresh picked, ripe cherry should taste like. See the picture below of the cherries on the tree. Also included a photo of the little fruit stand at the farm. Another picture is of me on a gigantic swing. Larry pushed me and took a video of me. I felt like the little girl in me was still alive, especially with the experience of the swing being so over sized. As simple as a swing hanging between two large trees gave me such a thrill of enjoyment. To be a little girl again. Pumping to go higher, arms splayed wide to reach the chains, under the cool of two old oaks, with Mt. Hood framed in the background, was an exhilarating, fun moment in time. I went higher and higher and didn’t want to stop. But each moment does end and the next begins. What I do is take the joy with me as I leave, tucked away in my heart to enjoy the moment again when I view the memory or the photo. Go out and doing something fun today. Something you did as a child. Remember the feeling of awe and excitement of the simple pleasures in life. No matter how old, or how infirm, there must be something you can do, even if it is sitting on a bench in solitude just reminiscing. Go and enjoy a special moment this day. Don’t let any day pass you that you do not take time to notice you are alive and young at heart.
The garden is waiting for me. Charlene and Larry have already left. It is getting how out so will pick strawberries before the noon day sun approaches.
I’ll proof read this tomorrow. Have a great day. This is my day to do the zip line! (TINGLE GOES MY HEART)
7 June, 2015 20:22
Unpicked Cherries
Saturday June 6, 2015 DAY 94 CLOSER TO HEAVEN
Yesterday really happened! It was awesome! Again I learned something and stretched myself. I wrote briefly about my practicing retirement yesterday morning. Well, that was awesome too.
We languidly ate breakfast, talked, enjoyed the coolness of the morning and I especially enjoyed watching the play of light as the surroundings around me changed with the shifting sun. This land is such a mysterious place. It is full of dark shadows, tall trees, and dancing light. It is as if the forest has an ever changing mood and you do not want to be caught unaware.
Well a week or so ago two of their chickens were caught unaware. When Charlene and Larry came home they noticed two areas of scattered feathers in the garden where their chickens roam and two less chickens on the roost. About that same time span Larry was outside on the lower patio where I sat yesterday morning and when he stood up he saw a large cat catch his eye and bound away across his back yard in three large bounds. His yard across the back of the house is quite a long space. He didn’t know for certain which cat family he was looking at but it was perhaps a cougar, mountain lion, or a panther. The creek Panther Creek is not named that without reason. Not a great feeling of security! I asked if they have ever seen bear. Only across the creek I was told. That’s a little too close for comfort for me. Maybe I like living where I currently live. At least I have not seen any bear in my backyard.
Back to the garden of tattered feathers. Here we are in our housecoats and Charlene says, “lets walk up to the garden”. They do live on a private lane in a secluded part of the forest, almost as far out as the government allows (the property just a ways beyond them is all government forests) so I thought why not go out in my housecoat. I do it all the time at home but we too live in quite a private area. Besides, I like being in my house coat! Their garden is a little ways from the house past a big barn, which by the way, has a large apartment at the top area of the barn. And it is beautiful. Back to the garden…it is large, completely fenced in with very high fencing and even more fencing inside. All the fencing is wire fencing inside and surrounds their strawberries, blueberries and I think one other thing. They have so many strawberries that I could’t believe my eyes. Larry had already picked and picked and picked and had a large container full of them. I asked if he was finished. He pointed to an area unpicked and I got to work (in my winter fluffy robe in 90 degree weather) and I picked and picked and picked. It was so awesome. I also ate and ate and ate. And they were good. At one point I look up and both Charlene and Larry are gone. Hmmm…sort of like Tom Sawyer and the paint brush. A little later they came back, I had two containers (about half the size each of the one Larry picked , almost full. In their hands they had three tall glasses filled with delicious fruit and veggie smoothies. It was break time! Charlene makes the absolute best smoothies which include so many vegetables that I am sure I get my entire “required” allotment of vitamins for the entire day! It felt refreshing going down. Their garden also consist of a large Blackberry patch and some other berry I can’t remember. It has been a late spring for them and many of their plants are just now being planted. The nights up here in the mountains get quite cold and the ground must warm up before planting. They have a beautiful area cleared that gets a lot of sun and their produce grows well. I saw a delicious looking row of kale that was already edible. The onions looked ample and large already but the tomatoes are not in the ground yet. Charlene starts everything from seeds so the tomatoes, peppers, and other things are in their little starting packets waiting for a bit warmer nights.
The chicken feathers lay ruffling in the wind at one end of the garden and Charlene can’t even talk about the loss of her chickens. They are young and inexperienced chickens and haven’t learned how to run for it yet. She had 6 now she has 4. They have an enclosed (top and sides) pen at the end of the garden that opens into the garden so that when they are there to watch them the chickens roam free. At night they are locked tightly in their roosting house. I think she may get fresh layers every spring.
I have no pics of the garden because I did not take my phone with me. I may go up today and pick more strawberries as hundreds more will probably be ready today as well. The plants are loaded. I’ll try to remember to take my Iphone.
In yesterday’s blog I mentioned going to late lunch and then going to climb my mountain (opps, I mean my rock). When the rock was first pointed out as a landmark to me I noticed how tall and sheer it seemed. When I was told that people climb up to the top I was imagining rock climbers on ropes and pullys. I was informed that it was that way for some but that there was also a narrow path that had been carved into the side of the rock that zig-zagged across two sides of the rock’s sheer sides. Hmmm…I wondered if I could walk that mountain trail on the side of a rock that stood 850 high? Open mouth, insert foot! “I want to climb that rock” I blurted out. That’s all it took. They took me seriously and before I knew it the time came for me to put my nerve where my mouth had plowed the way. I said to myself, “I CAN DO THIS”. I would never have attempted this two years ago when my health was so bad, I had absolutely no reliable balance, no muscles, no stamina and was so sick in so many ways. Here I was, speaking what I wanted to do (though in my heart there was trepidation), stepping out in faith that I could do it and trusting in my body enough to follow through with what I imagined. I first thought it, spoke it, believed it, took the first step and accomplished every step to the very top!
AND OH IT WAS SO AWESOME! To simply speak about it is so different that actually doing it. To read about it is but words on paper or a screen but the truth of the situation cannot be understood. So much of life I have only experienced through books, and the stories of others through them telling their story. Now I realize how much is lost in the telling versus the actual experience. I can’t even describe to you the thrill of each step, the feeling of being so alive, the joy of not experiencing pain as I took each step higher and higher, the sharpness of the wind on my sweating face as I crossed one side of the rock, (I keep wanting to call it a mountain but it is actually a rock) the awe and wonder of the delicate flowers that grow from the cracks of the rock, the sheer magnitude of the rock face in all its facets and moss and lichen covered surface, the dizzying heights as I climbed higher and higher with the drop off mere inches from my toes as I looked out over the beautiful Columbia River and mountain range beyond. How can one even imagine unless the experience is personal. Whatever your mountain is, go climb it, do it, live it, experience it. If you think you can, then you can!
I think back to all the words of wisdom I have gleaned from those I’ve met briefly and it now becomes alive and meaningful: “If you want to do something, start today”, “Don’t wait”, “If you think you can’t, you can’t”, “Don’t lose the little girl or boy inside of you”, “Live the life you only imagine you can live”, and so many other pearls of wisdom. I will never be able to express to others the true depths of my heart as to what this trip has done for me. I am living one of my dreams to reconnect with those I love, to give love to those I’ve never met, to in some small way influence others to dream bigger, to be partnered with God as your source of strength and intimacy, to give of myself that which I didn’t even realize I had to give and to be able to accept with gratitude the blessings that others have showered on me. I walk in a new sureness of God’s love and protection over my life. This entire journey has been one of learning and listening, and observing, and receiving. A journey of giving and touching and smelling and pulling someone close in an embrace that needs a hug and receiving hugs graciously when it is I that needs the touch and comfort of another. This journey has opened my heart. How do I explain that to anyone? I guess I don’t need to. This journey is designed by God for me. The beautiful thing is, that God has a journey for each and every one of us. It might not be 10,000 miles, but the journey can have just as much meaning when we open ourselves up to what the Lord has before us, if we are willing to step out and stretch our horizons and do and go wherever it is God wants us to go. It could be as close as your local grocery store or as far away as Africa, but it is your journey. Allow your heart to be teachable, spend time with God in that secret quiet place as you climb your rock. Go to the top with Him wherever he leads you. Raise your voice in praise and thanksgiving to the Creator of all the beauty and magnificence he has created for out pleasure. Do not take for granite even the smallest flower. Just be in God’s presence. That is all He asks, that you take time to know Him, acknowledge Him, praise Him.
When I arrived at the top of the mountain it was such a feeling of exhilaration and attainment. I imagined, I spoke it, I accomplished it. And I wanted to sing:
Song: SOMEBODY BIGGER THAN YOU AND I
Who made the mountains
Who made the trees
Who made the rivers
Flow to the seas
And who hung the moon in the starry sky?
Somebody bigger than you and I .
Who made the flowers
Bloom in the spring,
Who writes the song for the robin to sing
Who sends the rain
When the earth is dry?
Somebody bigger than you and I
He rights the way
When the road gets rough
Gives you company
With love to guide you
He walks beside you
Just like He walks with me
When I am weary
Filled with dispair
Who gives me courage
To go on from there
Who gives me strength
That will never die?
Somebody bigger than you and I
The words above are the words I remember from years ago so they may not be exactly right but the jest of the song is there. Before I had a chance to sing it three young men made it to the top. All three are recent graduates and all are 18 years old. Such freshness upon their faces, such hope and doubt all mingled together in their expressions. Hope for a new life opening up to them with the consternation of the unknown mingled in their brows. We had a delightful conversation, or at least I did. It wasn’t long before I got them talking about their hopes and dreams and words of wisdom. I love the words of wisdom from the freshness of the young.
The first one I spoke with was David, a fresh faced, wide eyed young man with a handsome face and countenance. Here are his words of wisdom: “Just know and realize that the pains of the past will leave and be gone and now I am entering adulthood where I won’t have those kinds of pains anymore. Just remember they will go away.” My comment: As we grow older we should never forget what it was like to grow up during our years of adolescence and to remember the intensity of how we felt and how easy our hearts could be broken. I wondered at the pains that David spoke of. I liked his attitude of hope for the future and resolution of his past.
The second young man I spoke with was Jose. Again, he was fresh and handsome, alive in his eyes. Here is his wisdom: ” Stay in school. Work hard to make good grades and learn. Even when you don’t know what you want to do in life, go to school, make good grades, and opportunities will come to you.” I agree Jose. Such sound, solid advice and wisdom coming from one so young. He told me his plans were to take classes this year at a college and if he still didn’t have direction in his life he planned to join the service to open up his door of opportunity to what he could do. Jose, you go for it! With an attitude like that you will succeed. And thank you for your willingness to serve our country. I pray God’s protection over your life.
The third young man was quiet and strong and thoughtful. His name is Osvaldo. What a great unique name on the English tongue. Osvaldo told me that he works in the world of agriculture and it is a world of difficulty, hard work, and lots of struggles. Here is his wisdom: “We must have empathy for those who are struggling and working so hard and to help them through their difficulties.” My heart was crying silently as I listened to the compassionate way Osvaldo spoke. I looked at the strength his body displayed and knew he was a long time hard worker. But, he graduated! Now he wants to go on to do something for others who have suffered like he has. His empathy was real and ran deep in his heart. So much you can learn in just a few short moments with someone when you ask what it is they have learned that they wish they could share with others. I just wanted to hug him, but didn’t want to embarrass him, so I refrained. The hug came later.
About that time a group of five other newly graduated peers ascended the peak of Beacon rock. Things were a bit noisy for awhile and then I turned around and looked at all these kids and said, since you are up here I might as well tell you that I came up here to sing. If you would like to stay and listen you may but please do not leave once I start or I might get my feelings hurt. Leave now, or stay. They all stayed. I looked out over the peak of the mount to all that God had created and sang the words of the song above at the top of my voice. There was polite silence and then a burst of applause when I finished. I had tears of joy in my heart as I sang, I had reached the top. Perhaps just a small accomplishment you might think, but to me it was my Mount Everest! Though the height of the rock is 850 it is over a mile walk to climb to the top and it’s all uphill, steep hill at that. And it was worth it.
I so wanted to pray with “my three boys” but with all their friends there I felt it was not appropriate to single them out. Larry and I finally left to rejoin Charlene, who sat in the car below on her bad hip that needs replacing, thus she could not make the climb. A few moments later the three lads caught up with us and stopped to talk again, or maybe I stopped them to talk, can’t remember for certain, but anyway I asked them if I could pray for them. They seemed a bit puzzled at the suggestion, as if they had never been prayed for before, but they all agreed and joined hands with Larry and I. When the prayer was over I extended my hand to shake the first one closest to me and he said no, he wanted to hug me. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me so tight and long that I knew he meant it. I knew at that moment that I had, in some small way, touched his life. The other two quickly followed suite and I had two more awesome hugs. I loved it. And I loved giving them their hug. Isn’t God good? He gave me the desire of my heart to pray for them when I waited until the right time. Oh, how great is our God! I shall remember these faces and names and the accent of Osvaldo as he shared his heart. If I could say but one thing here I would implore you to reach out to those around you and touch each life in some way that God brings to you. When you are willing, God will bring those who need a touch. Such short contact and I may never know the outcome of our meeting, but God, in some small way has been introduced to their thinking and an adult has made them know that they are important in this world and their wisdom and advice does have meaning.
And I thank all or any of you who have not given upon on this post and actually read to the end. I think I like writing in the morning of yesterday’s events. It gives me time to digest that which happened and for me to make since of my day. We came home, Charlene made a delicious salmon dinner and we sat down to eat at 10:10 p.m. It was so delicious. I don’t have time right now but I copied the recipe and plan to put it on the blog. I have people that ask me if I have a favorite Salmon recipe. Well, now I do. I’ll share it later.
Following is the poem I wrote last night before I went to bed.
I CLIMBED MY MOUNTAIN
by Kathleen Martens
June 6, 2015
Each step I take
I am closer to God.
Each hour I live
I have less time on this sod.
Communing in nature
Draws me closer
To the heart of God
For a great big dose.
To walk my mountain
Though it be but a stone,
It was my Mt. Everest
On my way home.
I knew I could do it
For I said I could.
So I purposed my heart
And said I would.
A mile of steep angles
850 feet in the air
Put one step in front of another
To get me there.
Vistas so amazing
No camera can tell
Of the beauty God created
And presented so well.
River and Mountains
That meet the sky,
My heart seemed to soar
And wanted to fly.
Delicate flowers
On pathways of stone,
Incredible views
As I neared God’s throne.
An experience I treasure,
For I could still do
What I desired
To see God’s view.
And I thank my Father
For those He sends,
Wherever I go
He brings me friends.
I thank Him too
For the beauty prepared
That is always waiting
Before I get there.
I climbed my mountain!
My heart is unlocked,
For God is my fortress
My SOLID ROCK!
P.S. Be sure and browse down and see some of the photos I posted last night before I got out of cell service area. The first one is a picture of the strawberries Larry and I picked. Not all of them. I had fun designing my display for you. Hopefully I will get to label the photos later. Must go for now.
Have a great day!
6 June, 2015 22:42
Unpicked Cherries
Visions of Poetry 