Sunday Sabbath July 19 2015 AN EMAIL AND A RESPONSE
Sunday Sabbath July 19, 2015 AN EMAIL AND A RESPONSE
When I sit down at the kitchen counter each evening to begin my blog I always check my gmail. My charter.net accounts only get checked about once a week or so. Well tonight I had an email from my cousin Joyce. I stayed with Joyce, who lives with her daughter in Redding, while I was on my trip. I had a time with her like I had with no other. I was at her home longer than anyplace else I stayed. Some places I was only able to stay one night due to my delayed departure and the fact that I needed to be in Redding at a certain time to attend a weeklong conference. I didn’t see much of either cousin during the first week due to the strenuous schedule we had during the class days. Before I left on my trip things were a bit hectic due to a medical condition that came up and postponed my trip. Because of the doctor visits and unplanned situations that arose I was not able to book the second part of my trip because I had no time to be on the phone or internet. So, while at Joyce’s daughter’s house I made most of the rest of my reservations which was very time consuming to say the least. I still didn’t get to spend much time with her on a one to one level. But the one thing I did do was enjoy every moment we had together. It was a time of renewing our past relationship, reminiscing, talking about our lives and our extended families. Things are different when you are all grown up than what they are when you are children growing up as cousins.
I think I found in Joyce a “sister”. Though I have 4 sisters, there was just a connection that I felt was more like sisters than cousins. I so enjoyed every moment we were together. While on my trip there were a lot of things that I mentioned to one person that I might not mention to another. Things that just slipped my mind or didn’t seem important at the time, or just forgot who I had already told or not told. I can’t remember if I told Joyce about the fact that I had to have surgery when I returned home. Joyce reads my blog and I had mentioned having surgery and she sent me an email asking about the specifics. The email was short and simple and could have been answered with two sentences. But…just in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t answer anything in two sentences.
If you have read every blog you may remember me mentioning I was having surgery when I arrived home. As I responded to Joyce’s email I was writing a personal account in a private email to an intimate friend (cousin) and did not mince words, but said it like it is. After reading it I decided that because I wrote it unfiltered I would not be able to do it better if I had to filter it for the blog. I asked my husband if he minded if I talked about my breast surgery on my blog. He said no, not if I was comfortable with it. He just didn’t want me talking about HIS BODY.
Just in case you didn’t know, WOMEN HAVE BREASTS! There is always such a hush, hush about a woman having to have surgery on said breast. Well, when you find out someone has a tumor, or cancer, or a mass, usually the first thing we want to know is where is it located in the body. That answers so many questions as to how it will affect them, what will be done, etc.. Well, my two masses are located in my right breast. As my story unfolded in the email I sent to Joyce I realized after I had written it that this is how I would want it to be told to anyone who knew I am having surgery.
First of all, before you read the email I want to state that I find it very interesting that I am sharing this part of my life. When I had breast surgery three years agoto remove another nonmalignant tumor I only told two closest friends. We didn’t even tell our children until after the surgery and we found out it was nonmalignant. Needless to say they had a fit! I won’t do that again! So instead, I’ll tell the whole world! Well, at least to those who read my blog and that is probably less than 300 people. So, with just a few minor changes in my email to leave out personal information I am sharing a private email I wrote to my cousin because I don’t think I could explain it any better than I already have.
Name: Joyce
Email
Comment: What is the date of your surgery and what are they doing?
I will be praying for good results and your speedy recovery.
So happy for Dave finally being able to retire.
Hi Joyce:
We need another long talk. I so miss you! I think I found in you another sister I would love to have.
Before I left on my trip (one week before my scheduled departure date) I felt a lump in my breast while at the gym. I went to the doctor the next day. He pushed me through the medical trail as quickly as possible because he knew I was planning to leave. I had to postpone my trip for one week while everything happened. First I had a mammogram. The mammogram showed that I had two masses. One is where the previous tumor had been removed three years ago (a non-malignant growth) and the other mass is attached to my chest wall at the back of my breast near the sternum. Then I had an ultra sound and this confirmed the mammogram. Then I had a core biopsy and lead wires to the tumor locations were implanted in my breast at that time so the surgeon would have a wire that would show on the ultra sound during surgery to lead him to the right place.
I am scheduled for a partial mastectomy. I will lose breast tissue inside my breast but my outer breast should stay intact, perhaps be less tissue inside so a bit lopsided or saggy. However, due to the mass on my chest wall the surgeon indicated that though he was going to try to save my breast he could not guarantee it due to the fact that he doesn’t know what he will find when he tries to remove the mass on the chest wall. If it is too involved I will have a full mastectomy of the right breast. Since no cancer showed in the core biopsies the doctor gave me the choice to continue with my travel plans or have the surgery first, and delay the trip by several weeks. He actually already had me on the surgery schedule. I chose to go on with my trip and have the surgery when I returned.
My breast hurt off and on during my trip and was very sore. The tumor close to the surface was the most bothersome. I chose to not let it bother me and I was never worried or concerned about the fact that I would be having surgery when I returned. I thought I told you about it while I was there. Maybe I didn’t remember to tell you. I just didn’t think about it often and had no worry about it. And now the time has come. One week from tomorrow I will either awaken with my breast intact or gone. I won’t know until I awaken from surgery. My surgery date is Monday July 27th. I don’t know the time yet. I’ll find that out on Friday of this week.
Thank you for your prayers and for thinking about me during this time. One of the reasons I originally wanted to go on my trip is that I have three close friends who have been fighting for their lives due to cancer. Each one is in the survival mode at present but two of them had very close encounters with death and fought a long hard battle. I knew nothing about my two masses at that time. I told Dave I wanted to see these lifelong friends before they died. At the time I said it, two of my friends were very close to dying. After I had my biopsy of the tumors, but before we had the results back Dave said “I hope you aren’t going on this trip so you can see everyone before YOU die”. It was difficult for Dave to go through the unknowing part of whether it was malignant or not. It was so good to get benign results back. But, you know, when I think about it, if I had a terminal disease and it was going to take my life I think I would purposely go and see all the people I have loved through this life one more time if I was able to do so.
As I went from place to place and visited with so many people from my past, including family members, I realized that this very well may be the last time I see some of them. Some are old, up in their 90’s, some are ill, some are so far out of the way I may never get that way again, but at least I had the opportunity to see those I loved one last time. Some I was not able to see due to circumstances and dates not matching for a rendezvous. Some I drove an entire day or more one way to see them. It was so worth it to me.
Thank you Joyce for being so sweet and kind to me while I was with you. You made me feel so welcome and so special. I just want you to know I will never forget it.
You ask a couple of questions and you practically get a private blog.
Speaking of blog…I haven’t written one yet tonight so I better scoodle-doodle!
I love you!
Wanda Kathleen
************************************************************************************************************
And that is the end of the email correspondence.
Now to the nitty-gritty of my day. I have a lot to do before I am down for the count. All that food that I keep receiving must be cared for and appreciated for its value. Especially for its value of being fresh and organic and so healthy for us. Also, I do not like to see waste. So again, today on my Sunday Sabbath I spent my day in the kitchen. My freezer is filling up and my refrigerator never seems to be less empty. Today, with Dave’s intermittent help we cleaned the entire refrigerator out. Cleaned all the shelves, and took out every drawer and sorted and cooked and ate all that could be eaten. And my refrigerator is still overly full, but oh so clean! And I thank God for the bounty He has provided for us.
Our neighbors have been so kind to us. Since Dave has been sick our neighbor insists on mowing our lawn with her rider mower. We have had so many offers of food for when I go in for surgery. It is so amazing how wonderful our neighbors really are. We are blessed to live on such a little street and have such great neighbors close by. If you don’t know your neighbors go knock on some doors and introduce yourself. I think people really do want to get to know their neighbors but don’t know how to go about it. If the time ever comes and I have enough time to write the story about my neighbor who lived next door to us for about 27 or 28 years I shall do so. It is a story so amazing that it has eternal results.
Well guys, I am going to do something I hope I don’t’ regret. On the other hand, if I’m already thinking I’ll regret it perhaps I shouldn’t do it at all. What a quandary. And Dave is already in bed and I can’t ask him for his opinion.
Before I left on my trip and surgery was discussed I went home from the surgeon’s office and wrote one of my “personal” poems. I mean no disrespect to any who have suffered with breast surgery, cancer, or the quandary of what to do in that situation. It is just that this is what came to my mind as I was thinking about being in that same dilemma. I actually wrote a nice poem this morning during church service, pertaining to what the preacher was teaching on and then after writing the blog using my email to Joyce, I remembered another poem which I wrote on February 28. I hope it will not taint your mind toward me.
I’LL STOCK IT!
By Kathleen Martens
February 28, 2015
What will it be like
To have an empty bra pocket?
Well, come to think of it,
With my sock I’ll stock it.
The breast of my youth
Where I suckled my son,
Now small and withered
When once they were fun.
Two bags of fat
To carry all around,
And now so small
They can barely be found.
But if it must go
To the Doctors I’ll give
If it will allow me
More years to live.
This following is what I wrote in my journal immediately following that poem:
“Lord, thank You for a sense of humor. I think when I get to heaven I would love to hear you laugh.
Lord, what word do you have for me?
Psalm 63:3-5
‘Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live. I will lift my hands in Your name, My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips’
What a great scripture for this hour.
(Following are the heart sounds I received from the Lord following the poem and the above words)
I am your strong protection and I receive the praise from your lips as you honor me all day long. I receive the song of love you sing to Me. It is My song in you that comes back to Me as a sweet aroma. Speak to others with your lips, with psalms, songs, and spiritual songs that your praise will combine to make music unto Me. Regardless the circumstances clap your hands in joy. When you are filled with joy, My peace will well up like a river. I am light and in Me there is no darkness. I will be faithful to you until the end of time for I have called you to be joint heir with My only begotten son. That is how much I love you.”
Good night and have a great MONDAY!
(See! At least I remember tomorrow is not SATURDAY)
Saturday July 18, 2015 EVEN ON SATURDAY I CAN’T GET IT RIGHT!
Saturday July 18 2015 EVEN ON SATURDAY I CAN’T GET IT RIGHT!
TODAY is actually Saturday. The real Saturday. And I thought it was Friday. But only once, and only for a minute. Getting these days straight is like being on vacation without a calendar. I think the only reason I actually followed the days right while I was traveling (most of the time) was because I wrote my blog each night and my computer has the date and time on the screen. So at least once a day I knew exactly what the date was. However, it doesn’t tell me the day of the week!
Dave has actually been home from the hospital for a full week now and we are getting used to retirement. I actually think it will take a long time to get used to the idea. Especially after I really do finish all my work. I have my surgery a week from Monday. That again will put me out of the norm. Please pray for a speedy recover as I have out of town company on the following Sunday August 2nd. Our daughter’s birth grandmother will be coming to stay three nights. Unless she reads my blog she may not know I have surgery scheduled. I didn’t tell her because I really wanted her to come. I absolutely love having her visit. She has come every August for the past nine years. We reconnected with Rebecca’s birth family at that time and have been included into their family with heartfelt love. Rebecca has a wonderful relationship with her birth mother, two half sisters and half brother. Her birth mom is Carole and she is married to my favorite composer, David Hollandsworth. Rebecca claims him too has part of her family.
As I drove across country I can’t tell you how many times I listened to the CD’s that David wrote and performed. When I put one of his CD’s in my player it seemed to synchronize to the amazing creation of God that I was viewing at that moment. The grandeur of the mountains and oceans and desert and canyons and open sky seemed to beckon the musical symphony. It felt like I was in a movie and the score had been written just for that scene. It reminded me of the beauty of the music written for the movie GONE WITH THE WIND. David’s music will forever mark the passage of the miles I traveled across big empty places, the high mountain roads, the unending desert land, the coasts of California and Oregon. I listen to the music now at home and the visual memory of where I was pops up in my mind. Some believe it is smell that evokes such strong sensory memory. For me it will ever be TIMELESS, the last CD Carole sent me before I started my trip. If you are reading this Carole I just want to say THANK YOU again for your beautiful gift of your husband’s music. I so appreciate the gift you gave to me.
I say with trepidation (especially if my cousin Paulette is reading this blog) that today was another “food obsession” day. I wouldn’t really call it “obsession”, but rather a WORK DAY. I made over 16 quarts of two different kinds of soup. Worked out early at the gym, came home and worked the rest of the day on the soups. The only really good thing about it, is that I was able to get a lot of food out of my fridge and it went directly to the freezer when done. A couple of jars made it back to the fridge for us to eat on tomorrow and the next day. I worked hard, on my feet all day and now I have a good tired overtaking my body. It feels good to be tired after a good days work.
I just want to share with all of you how amazing it is for me to listen to such excellent teaching from the church I told you about a few days ago. Calvary Chapel Modesto has a media center that posts all the teachings that their pastors do. I just finished listening to all the CD’s on Ecclesiastes. It was an awesome group of sermons. I highly recommend them. For the first time I now realize why and how Solomon wrote this book in the Old Testament. I never could really figure it out before. I enjoy listening to sermons while at the gym and before going to sleep at night. When my husband and I awaken in the morning we listen to a CD together. We are currently studying Matthew. I actually plan to listen to the entire Bible series by Damian Kyle.
It’s 8:24 p.m. and I am falling asleep here at the computer. My gift to the Lord has not yet been written so let me see what is in my heart tonight.
MY PERFECT LOVE
By Kathleen Martens
July 18, 2015
What is in my heart this hour
That I need know from my King?
Lord, please put Your wisdom deep within
So to others Your love I bring.
Let Your love shine from my eyes
Your countenance be on my face.
Take me Lord where You want me to go
That I am always in the right place.
I ask that God would use me
And He tells me to sit still.
He says, JUST REST IN MY PRESENCE
And allow your heart to be filled.
I ask what He wants me to say
And He says LISTEN THAT I MAY KNOW
It is not the words you speak
But the love to others you show.
I ask where He wants me to go
And He says just FOLLOW MY PATH
Stray not to the right or left,
And you will never experience My wrath.
I ask how I can reach out and touch
A life that is filled with pain,
He said FOCUS ON PRAISING ME
And that will be your gain.
I askm Lord, how is it I can know
Exactly what I’m supposed to do?
He said READ MY WORD
For that will get you through.
Fret not about all your tomorrows
SPEND TIME IN MY PRESENT.
For this is the now that lasts forever
And our intimacy will be pleasant.
And when your spirit is filled with Mine
You will have answers to questions above.
And then all I have called you to do
Will be accomplished through MY PERFECT LOVE.
Thank you for reading the poem God put in my heart this night to share with you.
Good night.
Friday July 17 2015 A DAY OF THANKS!
Friday July 17 2015 A DAY OF THANKS!
Why is July 17th a day of thanks? I’ll tell you why. Thirty six years ago today I gave birth to my son. He was born two months early and things weren’t going so well. He was transferred to another hospital to the NICU center. His entire first year did not go too well. But since we are celebrating his 36th birthday you can conclude that he did survive.
Tonight when I hugged him I was so thankful that I have shared 37 celebrations of his life. That he survived the first 24 hours was a great celebration! We did not know if we would ever share another birthday with him.
As I hugged him I thought about the parents who this week lost an eleven year old son due to being run over by a car while he was riding his bicycle. They only had 12 celebrations of his life. I am so thankful for every day that my son has lived. My heart so sad for all the birthdays the grieving parents will no longer experience. Never take anyone you love for granted. Every day is a gift.
Courtland and his family came over this evening for a birthday celebration dinner. It is always a joy to have my family over so I can make food they like and share in the enjoyment of once again having my son at our dinner table. On birthdays we like to tell stories about the birthday person. It is a fun time and I always learn something new as I listen to the stories. It is delightful to hear the stories that the three and seven year old tell. The three year takes a story that someone else has told and enhances it quite a bit. I think he even believes that what he says is true. Tonight the seven year old told the story about his dad coming over and having dinner with us. It was a very current story.
After the story time I asked each one to give Courtland wisdom they would like to share with him. Dave went first and actually gave him the same wisdom I was going to share. He told Courtland to never get too busy with all the things and hustle and bustle of life that he did not take time out to enjoy the everyday and ordinary things with his family. He encouraged him to live in the moment.
So I had to come up with something new. My wisdom to Courtland was to not neglect his spiritual life. To be certain he trained his boys in the way of the Lord and had them in church so it would become a way of life to them. I told him to walk with integrity so that his sons would see his life walked out as a Christian Father. I recommended that he walk the walk.
This morning on the way to the gym I stopped at a garage sale in my neighborhood. It is a family I only know through our neighbor get-to-gathers. The daughter just graduated and is going off to college. I asked her what wisdom she had for others at this stage in her life. Ashley’s wisdom was: “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. That may be a short sentence and one that we have heard many times over in our lifetimes but until you learn how to “not sweat the small stuff” you don’t really understand how difficult it is to learn. If more people could just learn that earlier I think the world would be a much friendlier place. Thank you Ashley for your timely wisdom. I pray that as you grow into full blown adulthood that you will remember these words of wisdom today and take them to heart. You are already one step ahead of so many others in knowing this lesson of life.
DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF
By Kathleen Martens
July 17, 2015
Sometimes it’s the little things
That turn into all the big.
Little misunderstandings
Cause us to dance a jig.
Maybe we should listen more
And really hear what is said,
And just sleep on what makes you mad
Instead of worry, just go to bed.
Think on what bothers you,
Mull it over in your mind.
In the morning speak your piece
With words that are kind.
Understand the other’s view
And listen as they explain
There are always two opinions
Do not hear their words in vain.
Give just thought to their beliefs
It will be different that’s for sure,
And when you do understand
Misunderstandings may be cured.
You will no longer suffer
From angry and malicious thoughts,
Because the small stuff is unimportant
In its struggle you’re no longer caught.
So…don’t sweat the small stuff
Place your focus on what is true.
Put your eyes on God alone,
Peace and joy will come to you.
Then the small stuff stays
Exactly where it should be.
Your spirit is no longer bound
By only what YOU see!
Well, I didn’t know that Ashley’s wisdom would by my inspiration for today’s poem. And timely I think it was. For you see, when I tried to publish this blog I did something incorrectly and lost everything except the poem. I had to totally rewrite everything (except the poem).
It is late, Dave is asleep, so I will publish and go to bed. Dave is slowly making strides toward healing. I think he may have overtaxed himself today helping me do some things to prepare for tonight’s birthday celebration. His leg is still painful and red. His next appointment is Tuesday. He is on oral drugs until then. Please pray that healing will continue daily.
My first blog was quite a bit longer and more detailed. Sorry for the “quick” version.
Good night and God bless you!
Thursday July 16, 2016 THE DAY IS NOT LONG ENOUGH!
Thursday July 16, 2015 THE DAY IS NOT LONG ENOUGH!
No day is long enough! No matter how early I get up, no matter how late I stay up, I cannot get done, in one day, all I want to get done. Does anyone else ever feel that way? Why is that? Are the days too short? Or am I just slow? (Don’t answer that!) Or do I just have too much to do…or…have I arrived at that place in life where my body can’t cash the checks my mind writes? That’s what Dave’s father used to say “My mind writes checks my body can’t cash”. He lived to be 101 years old. I now understand what he meant. If you don’t understand, just live a few more years and you’ll find it true. However, I think I’ll just keep writing the checks and let my body cash as many as it can. I hope I never get to the place where I just want to give up.
Today is another one of those days of food obsession. I have already cooked some from my farm box, cleaned some, put most of it in the fridge and getting ready to put the rest in the pot that’s boiling when it’s time. And…I think there will be another box to bring in. A big box packed full of corn on the cobb, green beans, beets, turnips, kale, baby salad greens (2 bags), huge head of cone shaped cabbage, zucchini and yellow crookneck squash, cucumbers, Swiss chard, beet greens, a huge head of broccoli, another kind of green leaves, and a big fluffy head of lettuce. That’s in the first box. Then I have a greens share only box full of greens AND THEN…someone else left their box again tonight (usually someone is on vacation) and so I just brought it in and tried to get it into the fridge. Couldn’t quite make it so put some in a box in the garage, the cabbage, broccoli, and beets and greens. So that makes a lot more work for me to do tomorrow. Some I will give away if I have a chance.
I have already cooked a great portion of the kale and been greens and Swiss chard and now the turnips and beets are steaming on top of the “mess of greens” flavored with vinegar. Coming from Arkansas we make what we call “pot liquor”. Greens cooked down with a bit of oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, a touch of sugar and then put the turnips and whatever other root vegetable you have on top of the greens after they are cooked and let them cook until tender. If you don’t know what “pot liquor” is good for, just ask me later. I’ll tell you. Just not on my blog.
We receive a box like this for 26 week. The vegetables change with the seasons. Then we receive two winter box delivers two weeks apart in October and November. Each deliver can be between 3 to 6 full boxes with each delivery. That is a lot of food. I am not so much obsessed about eating the food as I am about working with the food. I love handling fresh produce and creating delicious concoctions from what I get in the boxes. I’ve been accused of eating weird. I guess I like eating weird.
What happens in my day is what you get in my blog. Today was food obsession day. Also, ironing day. Remember all those clothes I had in my car? Well everything had to be washed and ironed. So my ironing pile is now completed! That is a good feeling because now I can wear anything I want. And the best part, is that they still fit. Can’t remember if I mentioned how much weight I gained eating across the country. I seriously thought I had gained 20 pounds, but, it was only 5 pounds. That was a relief.
Oh dear, I have not written a poem yet for this day. Let’s see what comes.
SUMMER MAGIC
By Kathleen Martens
July 16, 2015
Summer evening sings it song
In meadow green through shaded trees.
Twilight stillness in reverence sweet
Twinkling lights blink back at me.
Arks of wonder sweep the air,
A magical dance with such grace
Sparkles in wondrous search
For a tranquil mating place.
Warmth and humidity in repose,
Wet earth in fragrance sweet,
The fire flies sparkle their love
Until their lover they meet.
This poem was inspired this evening as I stood at the north end of the house from its high vantage point. As I looked out the window I could see through the gaps in the tall trees to the meadow below the house. It was so green and quiet and peaceful. And the fireflies were dancing their summer dance. There were so many that the area was just twinkling. I just stood there for a long time watching as the daylight faded and twilight cast its magical light, fading from light to dark. The fire flies do a little ark as they fly toward the earth hoping to attract a mate. It is the male lightening bugs that twinkle their rears hoping to attract a mate. When the female decides which mate she chooses she has a very small twinkle that will notify the mate. When they finally attract each other they fall to the earth, consummate their union and their life ends shortly thereafter. Before death the female lays her eggs in the earth where the larva will survive on slugs and worms and other creepy crawly things that live in the soil. And just for the record, fire flies are not flies at all. They come from the beetle family. Whatever family they come from they are magical to watch at twilight. Often people in this area refer to them as lightening bugs.
My twilight is dark, my day is done. My greens are cooked. It’s time to go to bed and have some fun (well at least go to sleep).
Good night my friends. Sandra, it was nice talking to you today! I love you!
P.S. My wisdom today: When you are angry, take time to cool down before uttering a word. When the anger has subsided you will be glad you did not say all you thought of saying while angry. Once a word is spoken it can never be taken back.
Wednesday July 15 2015 COURTLAND DO NOT READ UNTIL SATURDAY!
Wednesday July 15 2015 COURTLAND DO NOT READ UNTIL SATURDAY!
You know what the definition of INTEGRITY IS??? It is doing what is right even when no one else is looking!
Okay. So who is Courtland? He is my son. He dropped the boys by while he went to a meeting and we (the two boys and I)did a little art work. I wanted to take them to Olbrich Gardens to the butterfly release but they wanted to stay home with grandma and grandpa and create. I encourage their creativity. We had a lot of fun doing it. I did some artwork too! Friday is Courtland’s birthday and we are hosting the birthday dinner here at the house. I am trying to make it a tradition that I always have the birthday person here on their birthday and do some fun decorating and partying. The boys just love it!
So our day began with our two precious grandsons, then to the infection disease control clinic to see Doctor and have infusion. I left Dave there after the Doctor visit because the infusion takes a long time and worked out at the gym. Then time to come home and put the evening together. Food prep, dinner, clean up, make more food in order to use up everything I can in the fridge before tomorrow’s food box delivery, clean up again, and now blog and then bed. It is 8:31 p.m.
So, not much in the way of travel but I did want to sign in to let you know I am still here. NOW TOMORROW IS A DIFFERENT STORY. I almost fear writing down what I am going to record here. I don’t want to jinx myself. Tomorrow is Thursday. The delivery of food boxes will arrive but I don’t need to be home when it happens. When I am down on the lower level of the house I may as well not be home because I cannot hear anything else happening in or around the house. Our home is all brick and the downstairs level has the entire front side underground. It is a walkout level and has windows on three sides. Brick and double pained windows shield us from all exterior noise. We can hear thunder however, but not too loud. It is awesome! Tomorrow I plan to work all day on the wedding album. No phone calls for me, just bathroom and food stops and the food is already all made. How awesome is that! So the big question is… will I or won’t I accomplish what I have planned? I surely do hope so. I’ll let you know tomorrow.
No poem written yet today but I’ll see what I can come up with. Let me know if you even read the poetry. I know that poetry is not everybody’s “thing”. When you look at the title of my blog you may see that I intentionally intended it to be about poetry and photography. The poetry to conjure up mental images of what I wrote about and the photography to tell a story (translation: poem) in the visual realm. Don’t know if that makes sense to you but it does to me. I wrote poetry almost every day but only recently have I put any up on the blog due to time and late nights.
SO YOUR SEARCHING CAN COME TO AN END
By Kathleen Martens
July 15, 2015
What in life is worth living for?
Is it THINGS and always getting more?
What “under the sun” must man do,
To have enough to get him through?
To have satisfaction what does it take?
Perhaps a big boat out on the lake?
Perhaps more money for a bigger car?
Or maybe just to be a great big star?
Perhaps just another impressive degree
So you can charge a higher fee?
Parties and drugs may entice
For there is always another vice.
What makes life real? No longer hollow?
Perhaps you need someone to follow.
But who? So you search some more
But there is nothing new, that’s for sure.
Living seems empty yet so crowded.
And what you want seems so clouded.
Searching and searching under the sun,
Always trying to find more fun.
But there is a place in the heart unfilled.
A place that seems something has killed.
It is place made for the likeness of God
And to most, seems quite odd.
It was placed in man at the time of creation,
A place for joy and Godly elation.
The very place empty, was designed to be filled
With the presence of God that can never be killed.
The truth of God is all that is needed
Found in His Word, to be heeded.
He offers life and a fullness of peace,
The only kind that will never cease.
The empty hole will be assuaged
Like a weary soul being massaged.
And an intimate relationship will begin
When you ask God to forgive your sin.
So your searching can come to an end,
When you accept Christ as your friend.
Lay down you burdens at His feet,
No one else like Him will you ever meet.
This poem was inspired by a sermon by Damien Kyle from Modesto Calvary Chapel. I listened to sermon #3 of Ecclesiastes while at the gym today. It just so reminded me of that recent word of wisdom “only one life, will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last”. Stop and ask yourself what have you done for God’s kingdom in the past few days. Every day counts.
I send my love to all of you! And it’s only 9:25 p.m. Less than one hour!
Tuesday July 14, 2015 I DID NOT MEET MY EXPECTATIONS!
Tuesday July 14 2015 I DID NOT MEET MY EXPECTATIONS!
When I awakened this morning I had a list of expectations I thought I would accomplish. Later today I decided that I should just not expect anything from myself right now. That way, like the other day, if I do succeed in accomplishing something I will have exceeded my expectations. And that always feels good. Today, I did not meet my earlier expectations.
Tomorrow will be lost to me also. But at least I already know that. And…it is for a good cause. My two little grandson’s need a place to stay while their dad (my son) goes into work on his day off for a debriefing of being first responder to a child hit by a car who later died at the hospital. He has been a police officer for about 16 years now. He is one of the good guys. It is not always easy being the mother of a police officer in today’s chaotic world. He is currently in law school so perhaps his police career will end when he finishes law school. I don’t really know for certain what his ultimate plan is, but he understands that we support him in whatever he does. I just pray often. He is, and has always been, a wonderful son. Now he has two beautiful boys who both are carbon copies of him when he was three and seven years old. I feel like I am in the room with three variations of him when they are all here together. Maybe that is what old age does for you, makes you forget the naughty things you kids did years ago and every child he will ever have will look exactly like him, regardless of what they really look like. All I know is that they are all handsome!
We have a beautiful daughter too! She and her husband and our grand-dogs, Coal and Jackson, live far away so we don’t get to see them often. And of course Rebecca looks just like me, even if she is adopted! We have been blessed as a family.
My husband is improving. He had another IV antibiotic dose today and we go back to the doctor tomorrow afternoon (after the grandson’s get picked up) and another dose of antibiotics. He will be reassessed at that time to determine what follow up will be done in regards to medications. His leg looked much improved this morning when I looked at it. I haven’t seen it since this morning but I will check it before bed.
Niggling in the back of my head is that design work I must accomplish. I was hoping to have it finished by the time I went into the hospital in less than two weeks for surgery. That would make me a happy camper! Thursday I will have an uninterrupted day (that is my day off from the gym) and plan to not allow ANYTHING OR ANYBODY to take away my expectations for getting a good start on the project. I sometime wonder if it so difficult for other people (especially retired ones) to have a day go as planned? I will make my plans, and take a stab at the day. So if any of you are out there and reading this, PLEASE DO NOT STOP BY OR CALL ME ON THE PHONE ON THURSDAY (unless it is a dire emergency). I just don’t answer the phone when I am working. So go ahead and call if you need to leave a message.
When I am at home like this you can certainly see that I am not traveling or climbing mountains or investigating gorges. But…I enjoy every day I have breath and give praise and thanks to the Lord. And I especially give thanks for Dave having breath and recovering from what could have developed into something much worse. He still needs prayer for complete healing.
Actually I am really enjoying being home despite Dave’s episode in the hospital. I am back in the kitchen. I love cooking and enjoy making good food. I know I made some people crazy when I was using their kitchen, and for that I am truly sorry. But thank you so much for allowing me to make some of my favorite dishes. I have been reminiscing about my trip and I have so many wonderful memories. Are there things I would do differently if I could do it over, you bet, but God is working with me on settling my regrets. And my regrets are few.
The memories that so readily come to mind are the ocean, especially in Monterey and Big Sur when I was with my cousin Bill and his wife. They were both so generous with their time and providing me with tickets to the Monterey Aquarium and for a bus tour showing me the locations where movies were filmed in that area. Both were absolutely spectacular experiences. Bill even took a day off work to spend with me and gave me a personal driving tour of the beaches and pointed out beautiful places to go when on my own. The ocean is calling me back. Oh how I miss it.
The other memories that draw me back are the ones in Oregon and Washington. I fell in love with the Columbia River Gorge, all the waterfalls, rock climbing, and all the scenic snowcapped mountains in the area. Charlene and Larry were like my own personal tour guides. It was so awesome!
Another highlight to me was touring Butchart Gardens in Victoria on Vancouver Island B.C. on June 12th. That was a day unto itself. I did a detailed blog on my day there. I went alone and was just in reverie in my solo experience. I was doing some serious photographing that day and when I am in the photographer stance, I might as well be alone because I lose contact with those around me. Put a real camera in my hands and I am in never, never land. I still haven’t done anything with any photos since I’ve arrived home. My photos will not come to surface until I am completed with my commitments of professional work for others.
I think the greatest highlights of my entire trip were all the stops I made to see the people I love. I purposely went on this trip to connect with as many as I could. I often drove an entire day out of the way of my direct destination. I had the opportunity to visit with several mentors of my earlier self. These friends are up in their late 80’s and 90’s. It was very important for me to reconnect with those of my past. Dave didn’t even know some of the people I stopped to see. I also went to 4 homes we lived in while we were residents of California. I actually was able to see the impressions of Rebecca’s 16 month old footprints that we made on the wet cement when the patio was being poured. I saw a friends that go back to diaper days and one special friend I’ve known since we were both 6 years old. And so many others I could mention by name but no time in tonight’s blog. Most of these stories have been told in previous blogs so I won’t repeat myself.
I do want to mention two of my very favorite states. I fell in love with Montana for its stark open beauty with massive mountain ranges and unbelievable landscapes that went on for miles and miles. I loved driving through Montana, hour after hour, and some of those hours on gravel roads. I met few cars coming toward me and only passed one or two trucks that were very slow. Montana is beautiful and magnificent. The other state I fell in love with was Wyoming. But like Dave reminded me, I was there in June, not January. I know what January in Wisconsin is like so I could imagine really well what it would be like in Montana and Wyoming. The beauty was breathtaking (in June).
And Canada. I think I went through some of the most beautiful country in the world when I drove the mountains of Canada. Everyone was trying to persuade me to not travel on the high mountain roads, but that was my joy to do. I wanted to go the back roads and the mountains and the valleys and through the farm fields and the serenity and quiet. I went out of my way to do just that.
Well, since I am no longer traveling I just thought I would take a nostalgic journey tonight so I could tell you all about it again. There are more stories left unwritten than those I have written. I still hope to write the unwritten. They are about all the people I did not know. All the kind strangers those who God brought to me. So many stories. So many lives.
So much more I could write. But it is almost 9:00 p.m. and it takes a bit of time to proofread at least once and get this blog published. Thanks for reading it.
I pray that you will have a wonderful tomorrow.
Oops! I forgot one more thing that will probably take me a while to finish. I wrote a poem earlier today and want to write it here. Well, maybe I’ll save it for another day. I’m tired and I need to go to sleep so I will have energy for two rambunctious boys early in the morning.
Maybe I’ll just write a short one for the blog tonight.
AT END OF DAY
By Kathleen Martens
July 14, 2015
My day at close,
And my body knows.
Darkness of night,
Fireflies light.
Teeth are brushed,
Sounds are hushed.
My bed awaits
My quiet fate.
So my friend
This is the end
Goodnight I say
At close of day.
May your tomorrow be blessed!
P.S. It is 9:20 p.m. and I’m ready to publish. I’m getting faster!!!
Monday July 13, 2015 I REMEMBERED IT IS MONDAY!
Monday July 13, 2015 I REMEMBERED IT IS MONDAY!
So, what does one write on a travel log night after night when one is not traveling? I guess that makes no sense. I have a column titled Travel Log. Perhaps I should have one titled Home Log. As long as no one complains I’ll keep it as is. Besides even if someone did complain I do not have open forum so no one else ever need know.
However, I am planning in the future to have another blog. I do think I wrote of it once in the months past. My son gave me the idea. I’ll repeat myself here and let you know I am repeating myself so you won’t think it is my old age catching up with me. I know some have joined this blog later than others and per chance they did not read that particular blog wo I will reiterate.
When I asked my son what I should name the blog I was planning to write while on my trip he QUICKLY responded with “THE OPINION YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR”. Hmmm…that was a bit too quick of a response. Makes me think he might think I give my opinion too often! So…I looked up the domain and it was taken and could only be used by a paying blogger. Well, if I can get it without costing something I’d rather do that. So I googled the domain name “THE OPINION YOU DID NOT ASK FOR” through wordpress and it was available so I gobbled it up. It sits there waiting for me to start work on it. Until my life situation settles down a bit it will be on the back burner. But…I really do look forward to working on it. I plan to have an open forum and bring up some controversial opinions contrary to the popular secular world. I would love to get some discussions going. When I finally have time I just hope I can still remember what I want to do. Oh well, I like dreaming, and thinking, and planning. My son asked me what I was going to put on the bog. “MY OPINIONS OF COURSE”, I responded. I hope I still have some opinions when the time comes. Life is getting shorter by the day. I may have only 30 or 40 years left! However many years I have left I sure do enjoy living each moment of them.
Today consisted of two doctor appointments with Dave, one workout session with myself, laundry, and just the normal everyday tasks, fixing meals, eating meals, cleaning up. What more can I say. Life goes on even after a four month trip. But there is a lot of catching up to do. And my poem arises from my depths.
LIFE HAS A WAY
By Kathleen Martens
July 13, 2015
When you live a dream
It begins to feel real.
And then something happens
To break the deal.
Time marches on
One moment at a time
And the days number on
And time flies by.
And all that you do
And all that you see
Is tucked in your heart
As neat as can be.
And all that happened
In those days of yore
Becomes the dream
That is no more.
For life has a way
To fill the space
Of each day that passes
In such a race.
The dream that was lived
Is like a borrowed treasure
To bring out and admire
And give you pleasure.
The reality is gone
But the memory lives
And so much joy
To the heart it gives.
And that which is precious,
The everyday task
Is where life is lived
And questions asked.
The simple and ordinary
Are the special things.
The everyday of life
Simple joys bring.
To be home again
The normal becomes
The precious moments
When you’re on the run.
And through ups and downs
God puts a smile on your face
For even the hardships
Are lived with grace.
When you love life
Regardless what you do
You love where you are
And whatever you ensue.
Today when Dave and I went to one of his appointments he was seen by a Physician’s Assistant. At the end of his appointment I asked her what was the best wisdom she had for us if she could tell us one thing. This is what P.A., Joanna told us.
Joanna’s wisdom: “Eat Clean”.
Two simple words. The very same words that was on the top of an article that Dave and I were reading out loud at lunch before we went to see her. And what is interesting to me is that just yesterday Dave and I were talking about food and I told him the best way to eat was to eat clean. He asked me what that meant. I explained that it was eating foods in their natural state, the foods I like to eat. And then the next day (today) we have two confirmations of exactly what it does mean by both a PA and an article written by a nutritionist. I think that was good confirmation.
I have just returned from a journey of my own. Dave is now embarking on a new journey of his own. He is a very private person, and that is difficult when you’re married to me. But, this is, and will be his journey and I will not be writing much about it after this blog. If he says I can write some milestones and landmarks I will do so but other than that you’ll just have to wait and see where his journey takes him. Maybe when he gets farther down the road he will open up and share. All I will tell you here is that my husband is one of the greatest men I know and is worth everything I can do to help him as he goes down a new path as he enters into retirement. After living with him for 42 years I can truthfully say that there is not another man alive that I have ever met has the integrity that he has. Can you tell I’m still in love with him?
Good night, my husband is going to bed and so am I. It is only 9:20 p.m. Yeah! Another early night. I’ll go get my beauty sleep. I heard once that the best sleep your body can get is the accumulative sleep you get before midnight. I have nothing to base it on except that it is what someone told me. Believe what you want. I choose to believe it!
Good night and sweet dreams.
Sunday Sabbath July 12 2015 EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS!
Sunday Sabbath July 12, 2015 EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS!
I have finally figured out how to exceed my expectations of what I am going to accomplish in one day’s time. I simply do not make any expectations! Yesterday I told Dave that all I wanted to do today after attending church and going to Costco was to come home and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day. Well, so far Dave carved a chicken off the bone, I cooked the bones for broth, Dave strained it and bottled three quarts of broth that now is cooling to be put in the freezer.
While the chicken was boiling I made broccoli/cauliflower salad (take into mind that everything must be cleaned and cut up). Baked a pan of broccoli with lime juice (delicious recipe my daughter-in-law made up). Stir fried a zucchini pepper pie double size (without the pie crust to lower the carbs) and baked it in the oven. Cut up a mango (the kind that has the perfect taste) and refrigerated it for later. Dave husked the corn on the cob for dinner. Prepared several vegetables for cooking later and washed and prepared fruit to have ready to eat. Dinner is ready to serve up when we are ready to eat.
Maybe you think I am obsessing about food but I just want to tell you something. I probably am obsessing about food because I have so much of it come into my house at once that if I am not obsessed with getting it cooked, cleaned for later use, prepared for later dinners or freezer, it would go to waste. Those who have a vegetable garden to tend to probably know what I mean. At certain times it consumes you. And people ask me what do I do to call myself busy? Part of it is the food prep from the farm boxes I receive each week. Thursday comes around fast and fortunately for me Thursday is not every day like Saturday is. So, I tell you about my food because it is what I accomplished today. I had no plans to do so (remember my expectation was to do absolutely nothing today). So…since that was my expectation I am just “bragging” a little bit by telling you how much I exceeded my expectation. It is a good feeling to have it all done. Yes, it is never ending and there is more to do tomorrow. I still need to make a cucumber salad. And yes, we will eat all this good food throughout the week as well as next winter from the freezer. Can’t remember if I told you but I made 13 quarts of soup a day or so ago. Nine made it into the freezer, we are in the process of eating the two in the fridge and the other two went to a neighbor. And I have lots more soup to make. Now you know why I had to get home. Oh yes, I almost forgot. I want to make a huge coleslaw tomorrow. Lots of cabbage in this house this week!
Dave is slowly feeling better. He is down most of the time with his leg elevated and comes knocking on the kitchen door volunteering to do short tasks so he can be upright for a while. He can only be up for a few moments at a time. But hey, I take all the help I can get. He did not go to church today as he needs to be isolated from close contact with other people for a while, more for his benefit that the other people. He did go in for his antibiotic infusion and is able to drive. Tomorrow he has two appointments, one of which I will need to be in attendance.
Our pastor is doing a three week series about how to pray. The first one was the last Sunday in June and the second one was today. I listened to the first one online because I wasn’t home yet. An excellent series. The second one was today because of last week being a holiday weekend. I especially enjoyed today’s message. To hear google City Church Madison Wisconsin.
Our “new normal” is slowing coming to surface. I think it will take about a year for it to evolve. One thing we have agreed on is that we do not plan to take on any new commitments in the next 12 months to give us time to accomplish a few things that will help make our life a little simpler. I didn’t know just how many opportunities would come knocking. I love being involved with people and doing things and going places but we are saying no to the commitments of weekly or monthly participation. We will still have fun with our friends on occasion and maybe even entertain a bit when things settle down with Dave’s health situation. It is a great relief to know that we do not “have to” take on new responsibilities if we do not want to. We do want to be in the Lord’s will and have a close relationship during these next few months. We are taking this time to rest in his presence and invite His Holy Spirit to come into our lives in a mighty way. I feel a poem coming to surface:
THANK YOU FATHER FOR YOUR AMAZING PLAN
By Kathleen Martens
July 12, 2015
Come Holy Spirit as I sit at your feet.
Speak to my heart so I hear Your voice.
Allow me to rest in Your loving presence
As I come to You by my choice.
I seek Your face and You draw nigh unto me
Your compassion and love like a blanket spread.
I ask for Your favor and You pour out Your peace
And You set the table where I am fed.
Fed from Your word written in my heart
And the words Jesus spoke on earth.
Your love is greater than I can comprehend,
More valuable than Gold is Your worth.
You are my comforter sent from the Son
That I would never be alone,
But would have all eternity with You
Worshiping around God’s throne.
Thank you Father for your amazing plan
That a way would be made for me
That I would be able to live with You
Worshipping throughout eternity.
I give You my heart, I give You my love
I give you all that I am.
Thank you for giving to me
Your Son as the righteous lamb.
Thank You Lord for the poem you just gave to my heart. May it bless another.
Hey this has been a record time. I have only been at the computer for 50 minutes. It will take a bit to publish and proofread so I will end soon, eat dinner, and be ready for another early night. If I do nothing else I will still have exceeded my expectations! That’s a good feeling.
Have a great evening!
SATURDAY! (IT REALLY IS) July 11, 2015 GETTING BACK TO REALITY
SATURDAY (IT REALLY IS) July 11, 2015 GETTING BACK TO REALITY
Getting back to reality means questions. I am constantly asking questions; to myself; to God. As I sat down to spend time with the Lord this morning the questions came. I always write the date, the time, the weather, and where I am. I did so in my journal and the following is the rest of what I wrote:
“Simple lines on a page. Denotes I AM here. Later it will tell others that I WAS here. I exist in this moment of time. What will it matter 100 years from now? I hope to some lives that I’ve touched it will matter because they too will be living in eternity with God. The wisdom a blog reader sent in last night “only one life will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last” has made me do some thinking. Oh how true are those words. And what I must remember is that every action, every word I speak, has the power to make a profound change in another’s life. For good or for bad.”
My time was interrupted and I didn’t get back to my written journal until this evening as I opened up to write my blog. I hadn’t yet written a poem and as quickly as I sat down at the kitchen counter this poem came spilling out of me. More questions.
ONLY WHAT’S DONE FOR CHRIST WILL LAST
By Kathleen Martens
July 11, 2015
Only one life am I granted to live.
How will I spend it? To what shall I give?
Does it matter what I choose to do?
How will my life help others through?
What words can I say that will fashion a soul?
Is it important as to what are my goals?
Do I need be concerned about my actions,
Or who I’m involved with, or with what factions?
Do I live for self, care not for others?
How do I address the needs of my brothers?
All these questions swirl in my head.
No matter what I do, someday I’ll be dead,
Though I am here now in 100 years will it matter?
If the answer is “NO”, there is nothing sadder.
Will even one life be changed by me?
Will I be the cause of where someone spends eternity?
Will something I said change their course of direction,
And their spiritual life, given an inspection?
That they would know God in an intimate way
Because of the words that I say today?
I have “only one life, so soon will be past,
Only what’s done For Christ will last.”
This poem is inspired by the words of wisdom sent in last night by Robin. Thank you Robin for your inspirational wisdom.
The Lord gave me words of confirmation after I wrote this poem. I sit here now debating if I am to share them on my blog. And I hear in my heart “The words I give to you are for you to share”…OKAY…here goes.
These are my heart sounds that I believe are from the Lord:
“Every word you say, every action you do, do it as unto Me. What one person can do to influence another to turn to me is the great commission I have set before you. Let your life tell My story. Actions always speak louder than words. Live out your salvation that others will know there is something different about you. My message will be shown by what you do, how you love, then and only then, by what you profess. Be my disciple wherever you go. You may be home but I will still be bringing to you those who need to hear My voice. Encourage and confirm others. There are so many who need to hear what I speak to you. It does matter. Every day of your life matters. When you touch one life it has a rippling effect. Each life you touch will in some way touch and influence another life. No one is unimportant. I love the multitudes. Let your heart be tuned to Me, but keep your eyes on the multitude. There is always someone who is ready to hear my message for I am wooing the lost. Be my voice to those searching. You are my beloved. I will give you strength and courage.”
It is a bit intimidating to me to share my actual journal writing. A blog is not my personal journal but rather a chronicle of my trip; my days since I’ve been home. It is more about what I’ve done or thought so I don’t lose it in the haze of my old age memory. When I give you a peek into my journal it’s sort of like I am undressing in front of a crowd. AND I WOULD NEVER DO THAT! I think God is preparing me to share more of what I have already written and I need the courage to do so. Well, he just impressed upon me that He will give me strength and courage so I will accept that and believe it to be true. I have courage about a lot of things, and for all those things I give thanks. Now I guess it is time to step out and let him boost my courage in the areas yet untraveled.
My “chronicles” today are meager. Listened to a great sermon in bed before getting up. I am waking up earlier and earlier since I’m going to bed early. Dave must lie down as much as possible so we lie there together listening to the words of a minister in Modesto where I attended in April while I was there. I love his teaching. Maybe I already told you about him but I want to mention him again so if someone doesn’t read that blog but reads this one they will have the resource to find the website. Google “Modesto Calvary Chapel” The pastor’s name is Damien Kyle. Excellent teacher. Dave and I are listening to the series of Matthew. If you want some more good teaching you can google, City Church Madison Wisconsin, where we attend and receive some interesting sermons as well.
Worked outside in the yard today. Weeded a lot and planted several pots of flowers and a planter in the back yard where I am starting a perineal garden. The yard got away from Dave this spring due to his long work hours and all the spring rain watering the weeds. We have a big yard, lots of borders and gardens and LOTS OF WEEDS THAT CREEP IN FROM THE WOODS! After lunch I went to the gym, then came home to neighborhood gab with the ladies on the street. We live on a circle (cul-de-sac) with 4 houses. Everyone is always working in their front yards, or garage, or back yards. We live a community where there are no fences. One yard runs into the next one. I love the openness and freedom of this kind of living. It was very different getting used to all the fences around homes in some of the states. We’ve lived here almost 30 years now. We’ve seen one generation die off, another come and go, and we’re still here. I hope I go out head first. Or is it feet first? Oh well, I hope I live here till I die. Just thought you’d like to know Dave. I don’t’ think I’ve ever told him that. I’m the one that is always wishing we could sell and downsize. He’s the one who wants to live here forever so he can work in the yard. After today’s weeding I can’t wait until his leg is better!
I finally came in the house, fixed dinner just in case we got hungry, started writing my blog and it’s 8:30 and we still haven’t eaten. I guess I’ll close so we can eat and go to bed.
Tuesday I will start working on my design work for the wedding album I must do. I need uninterrupted hours and that will be the first day for such a possibility. Who knows, since there are so many Saturdays between now and Tuesday perhaps I’ll even finish my unpacking.
Good night. Still waiting for some more wisdom to come in. Please go to contact tab and give me a line!
Friday July 10 2015 EVERYDAY IS SATURDAY!
Friday July 10 2015 EVERYDAY IS SATURDAY!
My husband is truly retired. I am supposed to be truly retired but I have left over work to do so I don’t feel truly retired. But one thing that is different, now that my husband isn’t going to work every day, every day is now Saturday. Truly! When I wake up without an alarm, look across the bed (before he went into the hospital) at him still sleeping, I think it must be Saturday. Then I remember that it is not. And then the really hard part is trying to remember what day of the week it really is. I’ve yet to establish a routine of any sort. Perhaps when that falls into place I’ll remember the day of the week.
Oh well, I like Saturdays!
It is good to have Dave home again. He can’t do much because he must keep his leg elevated but it is nice to hear the background noise of him in the house. I’ve discovered that a house is not a home. It is the people in the house that make it feel like a home. Having him gone for four days opened my eyes to how empty it must have felt with me gone. However he did confess, that as usual, he always left for work early morning and worked late while I was gone. He had so much work to accomplish before he retired and had to tie up a lot of loose ends of different contracts so he was under a lot of pressure at work and probably under less stress with me not around since he didn’t feel pressured to come home earlier. Anyway, that’s the way I’ll think about it so I won’t feel so bad for being gone so long. I will say IT IS GOOD TO BE HOME even if every day is Saturday.
Dave still has a long recovery ahead of him. He was told today at the infectious disease place he went to for intravenous antibiotics that he will be coming longer than they originally told him. The Doctor told him that it could be weeks before He is out of the woods. He must go every day for several more days for the drugs and then will be reassessed as to what they plan for a course of treatment. His leg, the source of the infection, still looks very bad. But, he could walk today. That is a good step (no pun intended) in the right direction. It may take a while to get his full health and strength back but I am just so happy that he is feeling better and is coherent to what is going on around him. It was not a pretty picture to see the kind of pain and condition he was in. I am so thankful that he has made such progress the last five days. I thank God every day for Dave’s continued healing.
Part of my Scripture reading this morning was in Psalms 92. Here are the verses that spoke to my heart. Read each line slowly and carefully out loud. I love writing scripture longhand in my diary because it seems to take on a new and more understandable meaning. When you must put in all the punctuation you realize that sometimes sentences can mean something entirely different when the punctuation is not emphasized. Writing it out helps me see and understand that. Here is the scripture:
Psalms 92: 12-15:
“The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,
He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.
Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.
They shall still bear fruit in old age;
They shall be fresh and flourishing,
To declare that the Lord is upright.
He is my rock and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”
I purposely made a new line for each end of punctuation. Notice what kind of punctuation each line ends with and read it accordingly. It is powerful. As an older person in our society I listen more acutely when the scripture talks about the “old”. There are some mighty awesome promises given to us old geezers! I could go on and on about the different verses but I won’t take the time now. Just really read these lines as punctuation dictates and realize that God is giving us promises in his Word about so many things. I take these promises to heart. I probably interpret it differently than a young person would because to me these promises are real. Here is my interpretation of what it means to me.
“As I live righteously (following in the steps of Jesus) I will live and stay tall and strong, yet will still be able to bend to the winds of adversity and flourish, by again being tall and straight, when the winds pass. I will have roots that will last a long lifetime and give shade and comfort to the weary as they pass by. Because by feet are steadfast in the presence of the Lord I shall flourish in His presence and have a close intimacy with the Lord. And even though I am old I will still be of service to God and bear fruit for His kingdom. I will maintain a freshness and vitality of life that I will flourish and not let old age cause me to wilt, lose hope, or give up. And while I flourish I will declare to others that the Lord is upright and give witness to others of who He is to me, that He is my rock and I know that there is no unrighteousness in Him.”
That is what that passage of scripture means to me. And I hope it is true until the day I go to be with the Lord. I desire to declare the glory of the Lord and the miracles He has done in my life. Here is the poem I wrote this morning after reading the above scripture. I just love the scripture!
YOUR WRITTEN WORD
By Kathleen Martens
July 10, 2015
Oh Lord, You are mighty
And I give my thanks to You.
You are higher than the mountains,
The whole world is in Your view.
I sing praises to Your name
For You have made me glad.
Your lovingkindness washes over me
More amazing than anything else I’ve had.
You speak that the righteous shall flourish
And grow like a cedar.
And when I am planted in Your house
I will know You are my leader.
And You say I will flourish in Your courts
And will bear fruit even when old.
And continue to be fresh and flourishing
For in Your scriptures these words are told.
And I will declare You are upright
For You are my rock and my tower.
In You there is no unrighteousness
For You are Holy and pure, my source of power.
Clothed in Your majesty, some day I will see
Your throne established from old.
For I believe Your written Word
The inspired Word You have told.
Thanks to all of you who got to the end of this blog tonight and for listening to an “old lady”* on a Saturday. Oops! It’s not Saturday, it is still Friday.
*Just so you know, I don’t feel old on the inside. Just thought you might like to know. Short blog tonight as I’m aiming for “old lady bed time”. Didn’t make it though, because it is already 9:40. But it’s an improvement over 3:00 or 3:30 a.m. I think I am getting used to the two hour time change now.
One more thing: I only last night let my neighbor ladies know that Dave was in the hospital (that was before He came home). I am so blessed with wonderful neighbors. We live in a country neighborhood and I just made a calculated guess, by mentally walking the neighborhood that we have 34 homes in this community. Only homes, no businesses. I think I know almost everyone one, at least a little, who live here. There are several neighborhood functions that happen throughout the year which helps in knowing the neighbors. Last night I had one neighbor that said she would mow for us. Then today, my next door neighbor knocked on the door and asked if she could mow for us right then because she was going to do her yard too. She has a riding lawn mower and that is a great help on a lawn like ours. I accepted and the lawn is now mowed. I thank God for our neighbors. So if you are reading this blog Karen I want to say thanks again for your generosity of time and energy. It is people like you that make our neighborhood so great!
And one last thing. I just received an email from a lady I met on my journey. She gave me her word of wisdom just before I was ready to publish this blog. Her name is Robin and I met her in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. This wisdom was given to her from her grandmother. Robin’s email really blessed me.
Robin’s wisdom: “…only one life will soon be past,only whats done for Christ will last”.
Thank you Robin. I love your wisdom. Let me know if I can share more of your email with the public.
Goodnight everyone. Thank you for your prayers.









