Visions of Poetry

Thursday July 23, 2015  THE BEAUTY OF SEEING THROUGH NEW EYES

Tonight I asked Dave what was the best part of his day.  He replied that waking up with me beside him every morning and our time talking is always the best part of his day.  Boy!  Does my husband know how to make points, or what!  I said to take me out the equation and tell what was the best part of the day just by himself.  He responded that it was the time he rested in the backyard and just sat in his chair under the big oak tree looking out at the yard.  I think that is one of his very favorite thing to do and place to be.

Of course my question was loaded because I wanted to tell him what my best part of the day was.  Today I had a full body massage.  You might think that would be the best part of my day but it was not what popped into my mind first.  The very best part of my day was when I decided to tell myself to view the road I traveled as if I had never driven it before.  It is often the way we drive to church so I have traversed it for many years.  But today I used new eyes.  I looked at things like I did as I traveled the long hours across Montana and Wyoming.  When I drove through those states the beauty was so awesome I could barely contain myself.  Such raw and varied landscapes.  In some instances it was like I could see forever and in others the mountains loomed as giant invaders.  And because of the way I viewed my surroundings in these states it’s as if I can just conjure the visual memory immediately and it plays like a movie screen.  Well, today I used those new eyes again to see all that I have missed for years.  It is about a distance of 15 miles.  I wished I had had the time to stop every mile and just randomly take some photos so I could put them on my blog.  I was pressed for time so I could not stop.  I regret I did not snap some of the exquisite beauty of the morning light playing on fields and hills and barns and horses and cows and marshlands, rivers and lake, and unending views from the crests of the hills on which I traveled.  The memories are beautiful in my mind’s eye but lost forever to the world.  I could never go back and see again that which I saw this morning.  A new moment is always different than the last moment.

I suggest you take a look around you and think about looking through new eyes as you travel your beaten path.  Even better yet, take a new path.  When you look with new eyes I do believe God will open your eyes to things you have not yet seen, discovered, or enjoyed.  There is so much around us to give us pleasure but we so often are too rushed and too busy to see where we are.

The massage was a close second to the first.

WITH NEW EYES

By Kathleen Martens

July 23, 2015

The road we travel most

Is sometimes seen the least.

Take time to see with new eyes

Upon what there is to feast.

You may find it interesting

To see things you’ve never seen,

You may be surprised

How your vision is so keen.

See again as a child

Full of wonder and awe

When everything was always new

Not quite certain what you saw.

When you look with new eyes

Be ready to receive

All that God desires for you

Just because you believe.

Believe there is always beauty

To be seen in this darkening place,

And do not be in such a hurry

But slow down your rapid pace.

Open the eyes of your heart

For there is so much God wants to share.

And be thankful that you can see

Through His creation how much He cares.

************************************************

This was another jam packed day down to the minute.  I managed time for a car wash, to pick up my camera from the repair shop that I took in a couple of days after I arrived home, went to the grocery store, got back home in time to gulp a quick bite down, arrived at Dave’s medical appointment almost on time, came home and worked non stop for the rest of the day.  Yes, part of the work was on food stuff because this is the day of the infamous BOX.  The rest of the work was getting the house ready for the cleaning lady to come and clean.  Mostly had to put away things that have piled up from the trip, lack of time to sort, leftovers from the room clean-outs for the carpet cleaner.  Not everything is where it should be yet because of lack of time.  But…I’m getting there.  Of course I had to go out a visit with the neighborhood dogs, one which refuses to leave until I come out and love on him.  Murray is his name and he is the regal standard poodle that seems to know he is beautiful and requires personal attention.  I love him!  And then there is little Mr. Personality next door with his jutted out chin that can look ferocious without  even trying.  And we have a ladies pow wow of 5 plus 2 dogs.  We swat mosquitoes and then all rush back to our respective homes so we don’t get carried away.  And I come in and continue working until 9:30, Dave goes to bed and I start writing.  Actually, writing here on my little rickety table in my clean sun room is a highlight of my day.  I love the quiet, the dark windows as I sit two stories high and occasionally look at my little painted ceramic bird that peers over my computer.  And then I read my little calendar for July 23rd and this is what it says:

“On the wings of prayer

Our burdens take flight–

Our load of care

Becomes bearably light.”

And I ponder those words and know them to be so true.  I give to God all my burdens and He lightens my load.  If there is something gnawing me in my heart I turn it over to God and I know that He has everything in His care.  I am amazed at the lack of anxiety or fear or apprehension related to my upcoming surgery.   It is just another day I put myself into God’s hands.  It seems more like an inconvenience to me than anything else.  I know it is serious to go under anesthesia.  The unknown as to what will happen in surgery, will I awaken with a full mastectomy, will they find cancer cells lurking…?  It seems to me that I should upset or something.  I even asked God if there was something wrong with me because I don’t worry?  He just impressed in my heart not to worry about it!  So I don’t.  I just have to make certain to take my photo ID and my insurance cards with me.  I have no idea how much a surgery in a hospital facility cost, or the surgeon’s fees, the anesthetist’s fees, and all else that adds up but I received a call today from the hospital so they could tell me what expenses I would be responsible for and how did I want to pay it? I have never had that kind of call before so I found it quite interesting.  I simply told her we would pay it when we received the bill.  She said okay, she just had to know.  I kind of chuckled when she told me my share would be $52 and some cents. (That’s FIFTY TWO DOLLARS).  I could  have understood the phone call being necessary if I had to pay up in the hundreds or thousands, but for $52 dollars?  But I will say I was thankful and grateful that that is all that will be our share. What’s interesting is that our insurance changes on August 1 due to my husband’s retirement.  I am happy to know that for this surgery we have such good coverage.

So now it is night.

Time to go to bed.

Turn off the light

Lay down my head.

I thank God for this day

And for my tomorrow

That I walk in His way

With joy and not sorrow.

by Kathleen Martens

But before I go I have one more thing I wanted to say.  I have some wisdom I found today that I would like to share with you.  It is on the cover of the book that I spoke about yesterday, “MRS. WHALEY and HER CHARLESTON GARDEN” by Emily Whaley.  This book was published in 1997,  Mrs. Whaley was  86 years old (18 years ago) when it was written.  Her birth date was 104 years ago in today’s time.  I set this stage so you can see the era of which she lived.  The wisdom is written by Emily Whaley and I found it to be extremely interesting, probably true, and something I think we should all ponder as each year we are getting older.

Mrs. Whaley’s wisdom (quote from her book jacket):

“A warning:  Life is full of decisions and you better not waver and quaver over each one or  you will stress yourself.  You will die young and miss your seventies and eighties, which are two decades that can be a delight.”

I would  have like to have met Mrs. Whaley.

Wednesday July 22, 2015  A VARIED DAY

How do I start when I have so much I want to say?  Days are never the same.  How do we know what to expect when we rise?  I read once “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!”  I think that is so true.  I’m a planner.  I make God laugh a lot.

Even when I don’t make plans it seems the day still goes differently than I thought it would.  But today I did have a plan.  As you know we had our carpet cleaned, which was no small endeavor to move everything out of the way.  I included a picture of my empty sun room after the carpet was cleaned another one after I got it put back together.  I left out most of the books I had everywhere and added them to my library stash downstairs.  Then, I included a picture of the put-back-together sun room.  Then I added a picture of my library, before I put all the extra books from the sunroom in it.  That picture was a brave step in keeping my persona of being organized.  I have books all over the house, hidden, in view, as door stops, as décor, as references, on shelves, in cupboards, in the kitchen (cook books), and in my book bag.  I love books and am probably reading parts of 20 or more at a time, depending on what I am studying or planning to speak on, or need an opinion about. As a matter of fact I found a perfect example of a book I will probably love to read.  I peruse books to see if I like a sampling of the author’s writing, style, sentence structure or what they are saying.  The one I perused today sort of sounded like it was me writing about me.  The title is: MRS. WHALEY AND HER CHARLESTON GARDEN by Emily Whaley.  I will quote the very first paragraph in the first chapter and then the closing lines of the first chapter.  I saw quite a resemblance to how I see myself.

p.3  “I was born with a trait I wouldn’t give up for a million dollars.  Enthusiasm. And I also have what the French call “joi de vivre”.  As my middle daughter, Anne, says, “My God, Cheeka, you have an opinion on everything.”  I think they get fed up with my opinions, but where can you go in life without opinions?”

P.6  “Also, I’m going to say something about my parents and growing up in a little village to the north of the city. And I’ll be giving out of a few of those numerous opinions, for what’s the good of having an opinion if you don’t share it with your friends and your wonderful daughters?”

I KNOW I WILL ENJOY THAT BOOK.  Unfortunately for those around me, I do have a number of opinions.  But most of them are right!   RIGHT??? SMILE!

So, when I am working around books I don’t get much done because they are all so interesting to peek into.  So please don’t be shocked when you see what my library looks like in the picture.  By the way it is already looking better.  Just don’t look behind the door!

During my organization skills being utilized my husband calls down to me that the little boy next door is missing.  So I joined the search party which consisted of his parents, Dave and myself.  I go through part of the woods and our back area.  Others are traipsing through their woods.  I volunteer to take my car and drive around the streets in our development.  Not very many street and not very many homes, and lots of places for little boy, probably following his dog, or the dog following the little boy, to hide away.  Unfortunately we are only a short way from a two lane, 50 mph highway.  As I drive to the top of the hill his mom was walkng up the same hill and we both spy him about the same time.  Well, I come home and it takes a while for them to arrive home.  I didn’t want to stay and be involved with whatever transpired from that point on.  Mom was very concerned and I thought she needed some privacy with her little guy.  The dog came home too.

A little later there is a knock on the door and the little boy apologizes for leaving, causing us to be concerned and worried, and having to look for him.  Now he didn’t say why he was apologizing but I deduced that was what the apology was for.  The problem is, he is so cute how can you be upset with a little guy like that!

So that was the first “interruption” to my day.  And by the way, I am always available for that kind of interruption.  I want our neighbors to know that they can count on us for anything.  Last year we had an elderly retired doctor who lived behind our property wander away.  He was missing for three days.  The neighbors and community created search parties orchestrated by the police and we combed the area, through cornfields, woods, along the roads, and everywhere else we could think of to search.  I was part of that search party too.  The search party was finally called off by the officials.  A neighbor across the highway has a daughter.  His daughter’s boyfriend was visiting from out of state and had brought with him a drone.  I can’t remember if that is what it is actually called, but it is a little “airplane” with a camera that you fly around and can spy on things.  The three of them, father, daughter and her boyfriend decided not to give up on the search.  They went searching the day after it was officially called off.  THEY FOUND HIM!  He was found about two miles from our neighborhood, on top of a hill, under some trees, barefooted and dehydrated in the middle of a cornfield.  He would probably not have survived another day on his own.  He has dementia.  He was hospitalized for several days.  But he survived because a neighbor would not give up.  The boyfriend just happened to be there with his drone without prior knowledge of the situation going on.  I believe God’s timing is wonderful!  The lost man’s shoes were never found.

While at the gym minding my own business, planning all that I would accomplish when I arrived home, I receive a phone call from a local hospital.  I am the area coordinator for an International Group headquartered in Denver Colorado called NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP.  This is a group of professional photographers that volunteer their time and talent to respond to calls from the hospitals to take photos of babies that die at birth or soon afterward, or who must be taken off life support systems.  It is the most difficult and challenging endeavor I have ever been involved in.  Well, there was situation that needed a photographer and I am first in line to call.  I am actually on temporary leave from taking the calls due to my trip and my upcoming surgery.  But, I knew I could not say no.  I went home, changed, prepared my camera equipment (just this morning something prompted me to charge my professional camera batteries and get my equipment ready for use).  I had not touched my professional equipment since before I left on my trip in March.  Oh my, that camera felt so heavy after handling my “little” red camera for the past four months.  Thank the Lord that I had battery power and everything was clean and packed in my backpack.  My red camera is not used for my professional work.  I believe it was the Lord who prompted me to be ready.  It was a very difficult session.  I did not cry.  Until it was over.

As I walk out of the elevator, tears streaming down my face, my heart broken for the parents, and so sad from seeing their raw pain during this difficult time I stepright in front of an angel.  A lady from church, compassionate and caring, and with the demeanor of an angel, was there to comfort me.  How is that for God’s timing?  Debbie (lady from church) was coming for a joyous cause.  Her daughter had a beautiful healthy daughter born on Monday and she was coming to stay the night with her as she recovered from a C-section.  We talked for quite a while and my tears were dry when I left.  My heart is with the parents through this night for it is tonight when they will turn off the life support system and hold their beautiful baby as it breathes its last breath.  You can google Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and read about the association and how to donate to this cause if it is something you would like to support.   I am honored to be a part of the photographers doing this work.

And it is way past my bedtime.  No poem written.  No time to be with the Lord personally today.  I did receive time for praise and worship through my study time at the gym with my headphones tuned to Modesto Calvary Chapel.  I listened to another sermon on Proverbs and worshiped in my heart with the worship music.  I always feel like I’ve been to church when I walk out of the gym.  It makes me want to go and work out.

GOD’S TREASURE

By Kathleen Martens

July 22, 2015

My heart feels grief not my own

I take it to Jesus, lay it as His throne.

A parent’s heartache, a lifetime to last

Sorrowful hours that never go fast.

What can I do to ease their sorrow

When I will not be in their tomorrows?

What can I say to make it better

When pain becomes a heavy tether?

Empty arms speak louder than words,

Empty sympathy often not heard.

What is it that I can give

To make it easier for them to live?

Memories so few with time so short

In looking back how will time sort?

No baby to hold or suckle to breast

No peace of mind to give rest.

But one gift that I can offer

Is something tangible in their coffer.

A visual memory of a few precious hours

That will outlast the most beautiful flowers.

The moment that was, but is no more

For their baby, death closed the door.

But the likeness they will hold?

A simple photo, more valuable than gold.

It will never take the place of their beautiful son

Who will never on earth be able to run.

But I know in my heart He will have much pleasure

For in heaven He will be God’s treasure.

I leave you with a poem that allows me to give tribute for a little life that lived three weeks and is no more.

Thank you for listening to my heart on this “Varied Day”.  This too is the Day that the Lord has made!  And I give thanks for this day of life I have experienced.

Remember to always give thanks to God for all you are and all you have.

Tuesday July 21, 2015  MAKING PROGRESS

Slowly, slowly we are making progress.  Dave is progressing in his healing and we are both progressing in our stand to reclaim our house!  You saw the pictures last night of the kitchen eating area packed full of “stuff” from the sunroom.  Well about 90% of that accumulation is now back where it belongs.  However, anything that felt like clutter I did not put back in.  It is still in the kitchen floor awaiting for my footsteps to carry it downstairs.  We also have our dressing room about 95% back up to snuff.  Again, the “stuff” of clutter did not go back in.  At least that is a start.  I included pictures tonight that shows our sun room put back together.  I enjoy my sun room (Dave never uses it because the furniture is wicker and he doesn’t trust it and besides, it has no television).

Today Dave and I each made a list.  We made a list separate from each other, no discussion first except to know what kind of list to make.  We were to make a list of all the tasks around the house that needed to be accomplished to make our house uncluttered and easy to live in.  Well, we did just that.  He wrote his list, I wrote mine.  We were curious to see how many of our “jobs” would overlap.  Dave wrote down 19 on his list.  I wrote down 36 on mine.  What we truly found surprising was the fact that neither one of us overlapped on any jobs.  Each list was unique unto itself.  It was quite enlightening to see how each of our minds work when thinking about what needs to be done.  And the really good thing about that is that we were both 100% right!  All the jobs need to be done!  Most of his list were things that he would probably do by himself just because of the nature of the job.  My list was jobs, which I hoped he would be available to help me with, all pertained to the inside.  Some things on my list were personal only for me but a lot could be shared.  Isn’t it wonderful how two minds can so compliment each other.  If only my jobs were accomplished, by the time I was finished, the outside of the house would be falling down or at least in bad shape.  If only his jobs were accomplished he would find that the inside of the house would probably be uninhabitable.

My list was mostly about the order in which I wanted to go through rooms and closets and cabinets, etc.  His was about cleaning up the yard and trimming the trees in the woods, and cleaning gutters and power washing the brick on the house and the terrace.  It was an eye opener to us both.  Oh man, I don’t ever want anything to happen to him.  There were a lot of other priorities on the list but mostly it was as I stated above, me – house, Dave – yard.

Hopefully by the time I go into the hospital the main level will be clean.  But boy you should see the lower level.  We have about 2200 square feet on the upper level and about the same on the lower level.  The lower level is a bit larger because if has shop under the garage and sun room that is about 20X40 feet.  That is a big job for Dave just keeping the shop orderly and up and in running order.  A couple of years ago we rented a dumpster that was 10 feet wide by 20 feet long and 4 feet high.  We filled it to the very top from shop accumulation.  And we could probably do it again.  We are so excited to both be able to focus on what we have long had to overlook due to our busy schedules and long hours at the job.

I have really arrived at knowing in my heart that I really do want to be retired from photography.  It was a long road to retirement (3 years) and now that I have made the commitment in my heart, it is standing the test of my decision.  And though I am not finished with the wedding work, another wedding, and one last newborn session, (I finished the high school senior work).  I am still beginning to FEEL like it is true.  I think that is because Dave is home now with me every day.  I love having him home.  I just asked him if he liked having me home during the day.  He said “Yes”.  I asked him what he liked most about me being home.  He answered “I just like you being around”.  I’ll guess I’ll have to settle for that.

I truly think I am making better decisions about our retirement together, expectations, behaviors, the closeness and such because of having gone on my trip and talking to so many couples who are living in retirement together.  I watched and observed and found there were so many interesting pointers I picked up.  I so much want our ending years together to harmonious and loving and fulfilling to both of us.  I don’t want to bicker and backlash at each other because of the close confinement.  I desire freedom and I desire for Dave to have the same freedom.  He knows he has an independent wife and has always supported me in anything I wanted to try, or do, or places I wanted to go.  I see so many other couples living around me who do not have that freedom in their relationships, especially the women.  I don’t know what it would be like if my husband demanded me to be home to fix his lunch or for any other reason for that matter.  That would drive me crazy.  We have a master calendar and all our appointments are coordinated on that calendar.   If I am going someplace for the day or an extended time it is always on the calendar so Dave know what to expect for safety reasons.  Likewise for him.  We plan outings with each other (right now it is all Doctor appointments for Dave and now me with surgery coming up) but it is a plan that seems to work for us in our limited experience.

I just feel so blessed by God to have my husband with me after all these years and to have the husband I have.  There is no one else in the world I could imagine spending the rest of my life with.  I hope that all of you who read this blog and still have your spouse would feel that way about each other.  I think what makes it all so wonderful is that I have such peace and joy in my heart that comes from the Lord.  When God is the central part of your marriage, life is so much more pleasant than living in the “world’s way”.  I am listening to another series from Calvary Chapel Modesto.  I am listening to the book of Proverbs.  Proverbs is one of my most favorite books in the Bible.  I think I have worn that book out in my Bible from reading it so often.  If you haven’t really read and studied it, do  yourself a great big favor and get it out and study it verse by verse.  Better yet, go to the website and listen to the teaching on Proverbs from Calvary Chapel Modesto.  New insights and understanding are revealed to me daily through this teaching.  I can barely retain my excitement knowing that I have the entire Bible to go through with this teaching.  I can’t wait to listen to them all.  It makes working out at the gym something I really look forward to because that is when I listen the most.

Okay, if this blog is boring I am sorry.  For those of you who have asked me to continue to write a blog just know that you will be reading about the mundane and ordinary happenings of someone who is getting a little older each day.  I didn’t climb any mountains today but I will tell you that I am more tired than I ever was when I was climbing the mountains in Washington and Canada.  This is hard work getting 4 months of dirt out of your house (much more so is getting 30 years of clutter out) and I’m not even doing it all myself.  My new motto is LESS IS MORE.  I am aiming for less.  Less stuff to dust, less clothes to wash, less clutter to work around, less of everything. (Except books)!  Remember, if I had a bucket list it would have one desire.  I would like to read every book I own before I die.  And my library is extensive.  Books are my downfall and since I have run out of shelf space I am having to be creative when it comes to where I park them.  Right now, that 10% of the sun room that I didn’t get put back, are stacks of books on the kitchen hallway floor to be taken downstairs.

We have plans for a larger library but I must first sell all my studio equipment.  That was one of the things on my list.  We have given a priority of order to what we are doing so we can get certain things accomplished before the cold weather comes.  I’ll go into more of that later if anyone is interested.  Here in Wisconsin all things are seasonal and the weather must be taken into consideration.

I think of so many interesting things to tell you as the day progresses and then by nightfall all my thoughts of the day have seemingly gone to bed.  And to bed I must follow.  Another busy day awaits me tomorrow.

WHAT AWAITS TOMORROW?

By Kathleen Martens

July 21, 2015

What awaits tomorrow

I never truly know.

But God has a plan

When it’s time He will show.

I need not worry,

Nor do I fret.

I follow my schedule

And try not forget.

I live each day

One moment at a time.

It is truly the only way

To live a life sublime.

No matter if there is struggle

Or things don’t go right,

God is in total control

Regardless of my plight.

Never do I need fear,

For perfect love casteth out

Leaving absolutely no room

For even the smallest doubt.

When I arise at daybreak

It is the day the Lord has made.

I will rejoice and be glad

For my life He has paid.

He ransomed me from sin and death

As on the cross He died

He is the Savior of my soul

The one who was crucified.

So as I await tomorrow

I’m not promised it will come

But one thing I know for sure

If it doesn’t I’ll be with God’s Son.

And what better day

Could there ever be

To awaken alive in heaven

My Savior’s face to see?

Well, I didn’t mean for that poem to be so long but it just kept coming.

Enjoy each moment of your life for it is part of eternity.

Love to you all!