Monday June 20 2016  THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER

 

EVERYDAY A PART OF ME

By Kathleen Martens

June 20, 2016

 

Summer surprised us by coming early.

The calendar speaks it begins today.

But somehow Mother Nature

Always has her very own way.

 

Warm days are scarce and swift

In the Calendar of a Wisconsin year.

If summer comes too early

You won’t see me shed a tear.

 

Just to frolic in the sunshine

And to relax in evening’s breeze,

Are days I cherish to remember,

To help me endure winter’s freeze.

 

So I take each day at a time,

Whether hot, rainy, or cold.

Just to be alive is such a joy

And it matters not that I am old.

 

Being old is such a gift

For memory has such exquisite treasure.

To reminisce in the quiet of self,

To the old it’s a secret pleasure.

 

No matter how many days I live

Each sunrise is born anew

And every day part of me

Is also born brand new.

 

Quick comment regarding yesterday.  Our son and his family joined us for a dinner to celebrate both fathers, on Father’s Day, as well my husband’s birthday.  We are so fortunate to have our son and his family so close.  It is also amazing to know our children as wonderful, middle aged adults.  It is especially awesome to see our son as a father himself, raising two wonderful sons.   I just want to express publically how thankful I am to our children for the love and care they give to Dave and me as well as the love I see in their relationships with their spouse.  Perhaps we just don’t express that sentiment often enough, and for some reason, I wanted to remember to say that to them today.  And I speak for my husband as well because I know his heart.  Courtland we love you.  Rebecca we love you.  Thank you son and daughter for being such wonderful children, adults, friends, parent, dog lover, follower of Christ, and always so kind and caring to your mom and dad.  Other than the salvation Christ gave to us, you are both the greatest gifts that God has ever given us.

Dave just came into the room and I asked him if he had read yesterday’s poem.  He said yes.  Then he proceeded to say, “At least you have my funeral poem”.  Oh dear, I never thought of it that way.  And then he went on to say, “Hopefully you wrote it years in advance”.

Lord, thank You for a husband with a sense of humor.

God, thank You for two amazing children.

Thank You God for their mates who love You too.

Thank You for our grandson’s who have stolen our hearts.

Thank You Lord that You fill me with joy regardless my circumstances.

 

Okay gang!  It is actually on 9:12 a.m. and this blog (which was not supposed to be written) is completed. 

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND GOD BLESS YOU.

Sunday Sabbath Father’s Day June 19 2016  WORDS IN COMMON

What one thing do the following words have in common?

Fierce

Fabulous

Wonderful

Diligent

Hardworking

Amazing

God loving

God Following

Abiding

Wise

Helpful

Humble

Giving

Phenomenal

Awesome

The one meaning that these words have in common is that all of them were used to describe my husband.  Wouldn’t you like to meet a guy that fits that description?  Well, I guess I was the lucky one because I have lived with him for 43 years as of this coming Thursday.  But I wasn’t the one to describe him using the words above.  However I do concur.

Dave received a beautiful Father’s Day card from our daughter, and I kid you not, that is how she described him.  Can you tell who has always been a Daddy’s girl!  I’ve always told Dave, that if I had known before I married him what an awesome dad he would be, that I would have married him even if I hadn’t fallen in love with him.  And you know what else?  All those words do describe him.  

 

A DAUGHTER’S TRIBUTE

By Kathleen Martens

June 19, 2016

 

Fierce is the word to describe a lion,

And fabulous for someone really great.

Wonderful is what you really hope for

When searching for your perfect mate.

 

Industrious means quite diligent

Which translates to being hardworking.

And in your heart if you are God loving

Means your spirit is never shirking.

 

Even more astounding is to be

A follower of the God of truth.

Abiding is to endure to the end

And never being footloose.

 

And to be described as someone wise,

No greater compliment can ever be.

For God has told us wisdom to seek

And to speak counsel about being free.

 

And everyone loves the person who is helpful

For they are certain to be quite humble.

And when giving from our hearts

Our spirit soars and is never jumbled.

 

Phenomenal means unique and rare,

A trait so rare to find.

And the way my daughter described her father

I know my husband is awesome and one of a kind!

 

What an awesome tribute our daughter wrote in her card.  I agree with her.

DAVE:

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!  AND, OH BY THE WAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOO!

 

GOOD NIGHT ONE AND ALL!  I AM A WALKING ZOMBIE!  GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU.

 

Saturday June 18 2016  GOD OF THE SCRIPTURES

Dear Readers:

Remember this is the first day of my break from writing the blog due to my current hectic schedule.  Below you will find the longest poem I have ever written.  It was written from verses that I wrote over a five month period while reading the book “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young.  I went through each verse and picked out the description of who God says He is in the scriptures.  It is my favorite poem, especially on Father’s Day weekend.  God is my Heavenly Father and it does me well to remember all He is and all He does.  And just so you know this is not a complete list.  I still have seven more months of scriptures to write about.  I hope you enjoy this poem.  It is especially powerful when read aloud.  I promise, I will never post a poem this long again.  Note that though many scriptures are quoted I chose to print the poem in blue instead of red ink which I usually use for scripture verses.

 

GOD OF THE SCRIPTURES

Kathleen Martens

May 11, 2010

 

How great and vast is Your domain.

How can I comprehend Your love?
You are my refuge, a strong tower against the foe.

The earth is full of Your glory.

You give me strength and help.

You hold me by my righteous right hand.

You love me with an everlasting love.

You clothe me with the garment of salvation

Arrayed in a robe of righteousness.

You never leave me or forsake me.

You guide me with your counsel.

You are transforming me into your likeness.

You are my salvation.

I rejoice in this day you have made.

 

NO THING CAN SEPARATE ME FROM THE LOVE OF GOD.

 

NEITHER LIFE NOR DEATH.

NEITHER ANGELS NOR DEMONS.

NEITHER THE PRESENT NOR THE FUTURE.

NOR ANY POWERS.

NEITHER HEIGHT NOR DEPTH.

NOR ANYTHING ELSE IN ALL CREATION.

*****

Lord I am the work of your hand.

You are the potter.

I am the clay.

In repentance and rest You give me salvation.

In quietness and trust I gain Your strength.

Your power can accomplish more than I can ask.

You make my paths straight when I acknowledge You.

You meet my needs

According to  Your glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

I take refuge in You, and You bless me for it.

You are the God who sees me.

In this world I have trouble,

But You, Oh God, have overcome the world.

Your arms are everlasting.

You drive out my enemy before me.

You have transformed me by the renewing of my mind.

I rejoice in You Oh God.

You keep me in perfect peace.

You have placed the hope of the world in my heart

Which is in Christ Jesus.

How awesome is that!

*****

You have taught me to be still in Your presence.

You have made known to me the path of life.

You fill me with joy in Your presence

With eternal pleasure at your right hand.

Lord you are my portion.

Lord I hope in you, and You are good to me.

My hope is in You

And as I hope in You

You renew my strength.

I shall soar on wings like eagles.

I shall run and not grow weary.

I will walk and not faint.

I will wait before You Oh Sovereign God.

I give You my thanks

And worship You God

With reverence and awe,

For You God, are a consuming fire.

How precious is Your unfailing love.

I find refuge in the shadow of Your wings.

I feast from Your abundance.

I drink from Your river of delights

For with You is the fountain of life.

In Your light I see Light.

I rejoice in You again and again.

I sing for joy to You Lord.

I come before You with thanksgiving.

I trust in You for I know Your name.

You make me glad with the joy of Your presence.

Lord you are spirit.

And Lord You are freedom,

For where the spirit of the Lord is

There is freedom.

You have set me free from the law of sin and death.

 

Part 2

Oh Lord Almighty

Blessed is the man who trusts in You.

You have searched me Lord.

You know when I sit and when I rise.

You perceive my thoughts.

You discern my thoughts and my lying down.

You are familiar with all my ways.

You never leave me or forsake me.

You make me stand firm in You Oh God.

You have anointed me.

Lord you have set your ownership on me

And you have put your spirit in my heart.

You are mighty to save.

You are with me.

You take great delight in me.

You quiet me with Your love.

You rejoice over me with singing.

You give me ever increasing glory

Which comes from the Lord Who is the Spirit.

You dwell in my heart through faith.

You have rooted and established me in love.

You give me power together with all the saints.

You love me with a love that surpasses knowledge.

You desire to fill me with the measure of all the fullness of God.

You desire me to grasp

HOW WIDE

AND LONG

AND HIGH

AND DEEP

Is the love of Christ.

You offer me hope

That I may be greatly encouraged.

Your love is made complete in me.

You have given me FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.

You have given me LOVE.

You have given me JOY.

You have given me PEACE

You have given me PATIENCE.

You have given me KINDNESS.

You have given me GOODNESS.

You have given me FAITHFULNESS

And SELF CONTROL.

I look to you Lord in Your strength.

I seek Your face always.

I seek first Your kingdom and Your righteousness

Because You are my help.

I will sing in the shadow of Your wings.

I will stay close to You.

Your right hand upholds me.

You help me develop perseverance

THROUGH TRIALS.

You intercede for me at the right hand of the Father.

I delight in You Lord

And You give me the desires of my heart.

I trust in You Lord and You give me soft pasture.

You love me.

You call me.

You grant me Wisdom

And put discernment upon my lips.

My heart cries out to You

And You give me understanding….

According to Your Word.

*****

You go out ahead of me Oh Lord

And I follow you as a sheep

For I know Your voice.

You are Father of all

And I give thanks in all circumstances

For this is your will.

You are the resurrection.

You are the life.

I believe in You Lord

And I have life.

You are gentle and humble in heart.

I find rest for my weary soul

In Your love.

I believe in You and am filled

With an inexpressible and glorious joy

Even though I cannot see you…

My faith brings the salvation of my soul.

With prayer, petition and thanksgiving

I make my request to You,

And Your peace oh God

Which transcends all understanding

Guards my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Your presence goes with me and You give me rest.

OH HOW I LOVE YOU GOD!

 

GOOD NIGHT AND MAY THE GOD OF THE SCRIPTURES BLESS YOU ABUNDANTLY!

Friday June 17 2016  THE SCOUTING MISSION

It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.  Up bright and early to greet a quiet, still world.   I love waking up early.  When I awaken early it seems as if I am given a gift of more time in my day.  After food prep work relating to yesterday’s farm box, and making our lunch salad so it would be ready later in the day when we needed to eat, I left on a mission. 

If you have read even one or two of my blogs in the past month I am certain that you must be aware of the garage sale we plan to have next Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.   I have spent over a solid of month pilfering our house of everything that is taking up space without reason or cause.  I have just made a dent in all that I could gather, if I but had more time.  There are still cubby holes, closets, drawers, boxes, shelves, and pantry that still seem to cry out, “Don’t forget me!”.  So I must revamp every day from now through next Wednesday to allow me more time to do so. 

My mission this morning was to go to a local neighborhood and scour their annual garage sales.  My purpose was to garner ideas of ways to set up and display our “merchandise”.  It was not time wasted.  I observed many creative display techniques.  I even snapped a few pictures so I could share them with Dave.  One lady gave me two stand alone signs, one for an open house and one with another message emblazoned on each side.  Now I must cover them with poster board and paint my “Garage Sale” and arrow sign, and then stick them into the ground.  I hope I can find some more like that.  And of course while perusing the innovative table designs I just happened upon a few treasures for myself.  Like I said, it was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.

After looking over my calendar I realize that I cannot possibly accomplish what must be accomplished by next week if I continue publishing my daily blog.  Some of my readers have made it known that my blogs are quite long, so perhaps there will be some who are happy to know that I plan to publish my daily poem without a lengthy blog.  Some of the poetry will be the ones I compose each day.  Other poems I plan to include will be what I have written in the past.  I plan to return to the keyboard on July 4^th (in order to give you something to look forward to on your holiday)!

Actually, this week will be not stop sale prep, the following week will be getting my house back in order and packing up the leftovers for charity, and any extra hours will be used for mental and physical recuperation.  On Saturday July 2^nd I am committed to being second shooter for an 8 hour wedding (which means a 10-12 hour day).  Notice, I said SECOND shooter, lest anyone get the idea that I am back in business.  I am still 100% retired so no need to call for an appointment.  A second shooter is the photographer who clicks about 2,000 photos throughout the event, removes the camera cards from their camera, hands the unprocessed cards to the principle shooter (the business owner who has the contract with the wedding couple), and then walks away with no post production work.  I dearly love the shooting, posing, running around to catch that “perfect moment” and then handing over those cards!  Post production takes hours of intensive art work and book designs.  With as busy as my days are now I sometimes wonder how I had time to actually work.

 

WHAT I HAVE DISCOVERED TO BE TRUE

By Kathleen Martens

June 17, 2016

 

There comes a time when we dream

Of unhurried days in the sun, 

That time of doing nothing

So we can lollygag and have some fun.

 

Those days sound oh so sweet.

It is almost is worth it to get old.

And those days of retirement to come,

From a distance, they seem like gold.

 

But, oh let me tell you

What I have discovered to be true!

Now that I am retired,

One of Medicare’s true blue,

 

It seems my days are even busier

And I work harder than ever before.

Never a moment to call my own

And some days, don’t even get out the door.

 

From sun up to sun down

A project calls out my name.

Work beckons from every corner

And my house not easily tamed.

 

Just the same for my husband,

He’s never worked harder in his life.

But there is one good side,

He seems to have no strife.

 

Recently, as he left to go outside,

He spoke as his hand turned the knob,

“I don’t think I’ve ever worked so hard,

I think I’ll go out and get a real job.”

 

Oh, do I ever know what he means,

But being retired does have its perks.

Because I can now be my own boss,

And I wonder, “How did I ever have time to “work?”

 

Thank You God that I am retired as well as RE-FIRED!

Thank You God that I still have energy to do what must be done.

Thank You Lord for a joyful heart.

 

MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND WATCH OVER YOU BOTH DAY AND NIGHT.

 

Thursday June 16 2016  IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE…

 

It’s beginning to look a lot like a GARAGE SALE everywhere I go in this house!  Closets are coming apart, cupboards are being rummaged, boxes are opened, and in some instances the entire box, content and all are promptly curtailed to the garage.  Those boxes no longer have a place of honor under this roof.  And oh, it feels so good when the entire box goes out.  I have boxes of Christmas décor, and Thanksgiving décor, and even Halloween fall-DE-rill!  And then there is the occasional box I keep.  The one I kept today included my older cameras all the way back to the Box Camera that belonged to my parents.  It is the model you held at your waist and viewed an upside down rendition of what you planned to capture on film.  That camera took some awesome photos during my early childhood.  I think it would still work if I had some film to fit it.  I think I actually do have film that could probably be used but it is outdated.  Oh well, so is the camera outdated. 

I also came across Dave’s teddy bear that he loved as a baby and toddler.  In the same box was Courtland’s little teddy bear.  It was well loved but not nearly to the extent as Dave’s was.  Courtland helped me with the decision to keep them.  I think his boys would enjoy seeing them.  Both boys have had their own true loves sleeping with them these past few years.  And Xander is still in love with his soft stuffed animals.  He decorates his room with them.  And of course, I keep adding to his collage.    

Zach is now in the Lego and comic book stage.  So soon their babyhood is over.

Today was filled with eye tests, dilation, bright lights, and good news for the present.  I was being checked to see if my cataracts were ready to be surgically repaired and to confirm that I did not have a retinal disorder.  Over the years I have had some very major issues with my eyes and the result is I have permanent damage from past trauma and illnesses pertaining to them.  On one occasion I had a serious MRSA infection in both eyes and almost had to have one eye ball removed.  God intervened and I was spared having my eyeball taken out of my head.  I won’t go into details about much that has happened in the past, but because of so many traumas to my eyes there is damage control to be considered in order to keep my eyes as healthy as possible for as long as possible.

Because of my history of MRSA in the eye the surgeon does not think removing my cataracts is worth the risk.  My vision will be distorted but it is better than causing the MRSA to flare up.  Just in case you don’t know about MRSA it is a bacterial infection that is resistant to antibiotics.  There are some powerful antibiotic cocktails used to squelch it and sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t.  It is a major killer in post operative patients. 

There are some more points about the eye that I would like to discuss as an entire blog topic but will do so in the future as I am still having a bit of difficulty with the light due to my dilated eyes.  I just wanted my family to know that I am doing well and there is no surgery for me in the near future.  For that I am grateful.

Now, back to my upcoming garage sale.  Here goes!  I am “borrowing” a well known line from a song we all know…

 

IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE…

By Kathleen Martens

June 16, 2016

 

It’s beginning to look a lot like

A garage sale everywhere I go,

The house is a mess I must confess,

Enough to make one depressed.

 

But I choose to look at the bright side

And enjoy everything I do.

I read the titles of the books,

And pick out just a few.

 

Just a few to keep that is,

The rest are up for sale.

Beloved books from the coat closet,

I swallow my moans and wails.

 

To give up a book not yet read

Is chivalry to say the least!

And to myself I am gracious,

For an unread book my feast.

 

Out go my pots and pans,

Brand spanking new ones already in place.

But I may sneak two back in…

If I have the space.

 

Holiday décor in great amounts

Spill out as I open lids,

I quickly fasten the tops back on

And will accept the highest bid.

 

What was once so beloved

Has betrayed me through the years.

The boxes sat around doing nothing,

And now from closets will no longer leer.

 

And so it is time to make it happen,

Downsizing “UP”* more time to give.

Without so much stuff to take care of,

Life will offer me more hours to live.

 

Empty cupboards and empty drawers,

And closets no longer cluttered.

That is the solace of beautiful peace

And no exasperation will be muttered!

 

Just so you know this the first round

Because there is so much to let go.

I don’t think there is room in the garage

For everything to even show.

 

And hopefully it will all happen

Making signs and pounding them in.

 

And I hope some big fat wallets come

With a host of women and men!

 

Thank You God that I do not need to have cataract surgery at the present.

Thank You Lord for my vision.

Thank You Father for loosening the binds of clutter!

Thank You Lord for kohlrabi.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND MAY GOD’S BLESSINGS BE UPON YOU!

*  Downsizing “UP” is a phrase I read in Marni Jameson’s book, “DOWNSIZING THE FAMILY HOME”.  She states that as we downsize all that we own we are actually downsizing “UP”, because without all the clutter and things to take care of, the quality of our life will be much improved.  We will actually have the time to do what we love to do instead of just taking care of all our belongings and a big house!  So, instead of “DOWN” sizing, we are “UP” sizing!

 

 

Wednesday June 15 2016  WHO IS THE STRANGER?

We are but one among millions.  Do you ever wonder if there is even one stranger with whom your paths cross who gives you a second thought?   Do you ever wonder about people who are shopping beside you, or the person across from you as you are going up in the same elevator?  Do you wonder about the man or woman who is sitting across from you in a waiting room?  Me, I wonder about everything and just about everyone with whom I come in contact.  And here I am even wondering if you ever wonder. 

One of my most interesting things to wonder about is people.  I enjoy starting conversations with complete strangers and listening to their stories.  I enjoy learning about their differences, their backgrounds, and more about who they are.  Why?  Well, for heaven’s sake, I don’t have a clue why I like to wonder.  Maybe some would just call me nosey; others might see it as rude.  Or maybe God just made me that way.

One thing that intrigues me are tattoos.  I always wonder about the story behind the tattoo.  When a person opens up and shares the why, the where, and the purpose of their tattoo, so much is said in a short conversation.  Their stories tell so much about who they are, their past pains, their future dreams, their passions and hope, and so much more.  What makes their stories especially interesting is that they are illustrated.  Though I have never felt the desire to have a tattoo myself, and on threat of our son’s life, I forbade him from having one as long as he lived at home.  However, I am still fascinated by the fact that people are willing to sit under the kneedle in order to declare their story in a quiet, yet visual form.  I think tattoos are signs waiting to be read.  It’s as if a tattoo has its own voice saying, “SEE ME!  SEE ME!”.   And so, if the situation presents itself, I simply say, “What is the story behind your tattoo?”  And our conversation begins.

You would not believe the stories I have heard.  The body decorations declare extreme loss, great celebration, some with regret, much joy, and pure pride and pleasure just to have the designs decorating their limbs, torsos, necks and face.  And some, I have been told, are even hidden.  If you ever want to engage with someone in a crowd choose someone with a tattoo and give it a try.  The worst that can happen is they look at you with disdain and walk away (which has not yet happened to me), and at the best thing that can happen is that you just might get an interesting story.  And I like stories.

Today I was shopping and saw a young woman with a unique hair style.  I commented on it and it opened the door to conversation.  She had tattoos also but she said there were no stories behind them.  After speaking with her a few moments I realized that at least one of her tattoos spoke loud and clear once I found out that she is a dancer and yoga instructor.  Her name is Nicole and I asked her if she would share a bit of her story.  She graduated with a Dance and Yoga major and is now working in Egypt as a dance and yoga instructor at an international school.  Just the fact that she arrived home two days ago from Egypt for a visit fueled my pump with all kinds of questions.  I asked many questions and Nicole seemed patient and kind as she shared about her job and the Egyptian culture.  Before we parted I asked her if she would speak the wisdom she has learned.  Here is Nicole’s words:

“I would say for me, the most things I’ve learned are to just take chances and take risks no matter if it’s pushing you a little bit out of your comfort zone.  Those are the ways in which you learn and you grow.  If you always just stay where you are you never really get to experience how other people live.”

I loved her comments.  Last year as I traveled I did just that.  I took chances and I took risks.  I approached people and heard a lot of stories along my journey.  Yes, I was still in the United States and Canada but out of the way places are truly like a different society.  It was amazing to experience so many unbelievable places and meet so many interesting people. There were some places in the south which actually made me feel as if I were in another country.  Though many of my experiences were short I will forever have the memories of what I did, who I met, and where I was.  And the great thing I have discovered is, if you are willing to take chances, like questioning a total stranger about their tattoo, you can discover a whole new world just in that one person.  Regardless of who I meet I always seem to walk away a richer person than I was before I met them.  And you know what?  I believe people like to be noticed.  If they don’t, they’ll let you know and the conversation will be very short.

Thank you Nicole for being so kind as you listened to an older woman.  And even more thanks for opening up and sharing a bit of your own story.  You made my day brighter. 

 

YOU MAY MISS OUT

By Kathleen Martens

June 15, 2016

 

So many strangers we pass every day

In their silent world, going on their way.

But who are they, these faces I see?

What do they wonder when they look at me?

 

The world is so big, yet so small

And we are silent, refraining to call.

We keep to ourselves, reading smart-phones

Without being attuned to another’s moans.

 

Who is that man, that boy, or that girl

With their busy lives, lived in a whirl?

Do they even care who I am?

Would they help me if I were in a jam?

 

Or would I help them in their plight

If another engaged them to fight?

Am I willing to help another,

Whether it be friend, stranger or brother?

 

When we are not friendly, what do we miss

As we pass silently in a great abyss?

What would happen if we said hello again?

Would there be a chance to make a friend?

 

Are you willing to chance a few words?

Or are you concerned you might not be heard?

Take a risk and give it a try,

You might be helping another to fly.

 

It may be hard to get rid of your phone,

Or to step out of your comfort zone.

But by doing so is how you grow,

And with each step, your learning will show.

 

When you reach and to others you give,

You may then experience how another person lives.

Don’t stay where you are until your end,

You may miss finding your very best friend!

 

Thank You God for the courage You give me.

Thank You for all the wonderful people I meet.

Thank You Lord for all the wonderful opportunities You provide for me.

Thank You for garage sales.

Thank You for my new pots and pans.

 

GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU. 

GOOD NIGHT!

Tuesday June 14 2016  IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME

Just in case you haven’t arrived yet, I have a few things to tell you.  Arrive where, you may ask?  Well, the destination to which I refer to is at the entrance of old age.  Yep!  That would be where I am now, although I do not feel old.  More than likely I look older than I feel.  And the fact that I want to share with you is, the fact that “IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME” to be old.  Not only does it take a lot of time to arrive at that door, it seems that the arrival time is different for each individual.  And I don’t feel like I am truly over the threshold as of yet, but I certainly have some of the symptoms of the door opening wider.

There is much involved in the aging process.  Genetics, health, self abuse, nutrition, exercise, active lifestyle verses sedentary lifestyle, where you live, career choices, and even economics, are all contributing factors to how quickly we do, or do not age.  And the list could go on.

When I was younger I didn’t understand why people spent an hour or two at the gym each day.  I wondered if they didn’t have enough to do, or perhaps just didn’t have a “real life”.  I thought of it as a very selfish and self pampering behavior.  It just seemed trivial to me.  Sorry folks.  I hope that doesn’t make me look as bad as I think it does by sharing my naivety and lack of wisdom of the immature self that I once was.  Now I am viewing life from the opposite view.  I am on the upper spectrum of my earth years so perhaps I have learned just a few things. 

After I regained my health and vigor of my youth after eating less and joining a gym, all of a sudden it was as if the scales fell off my eyes.  After recapturing so much of what I had lost physically, I now realize that the people who go to the gym faithfully really do not just “have” the time to do it but they must persevere and create the time to do so.  These are the people who do have a life.  Sometimes when we give up one thing to accomplish an even greater thing, we receive benefits that far outweigh what we have given up.

I know personally I sacrifice hours in my days to make certain that I get to the gym to workout.  And those two hours a day, along with eating healthy and doing my best to make certain I have adequate rest, have restored me to a place that I never thought was possible.  A little over three years ago I could barely get up out of a chair and it was always with great pain that I did so.  Now I don’t even think about it anymore.

However, just because I can get up out of a chair and go the gym on a regular basis, believe me, I am still aging.  The years take a toll on the human body no matter how much you do “right”, how much rest you receive, or even how active you might be.  Sometimes it is because of being so active which can cause the nuances of that which plagues you.  For me, it is now my elbow and shoulder.  I thought I was mightier that I was and tried to move something I had no power to move.  And, it is continuing to haunt me with limited use of the right arm, shoulder and hand.  Physical therapy hasn’t fixed it, and according to my MRI, the tears in my rotatory cuff are not serious enough to qualify for surgery.  I can’t help but wonder if it is because of my age?  So I am again in the midst of another round of therapy.  And therapy takes time.  And old age just keeps sneaking up on me.  One day at a time.  It can pounce on us or sometimes it sneaks up very quietly to surprise us.  And usually it is only one “little” thing at a time and we adjust and get used to the time it takes to pamper the intruder, and like a thief in the night, another one wriggles right past the alarm system.  And every little thing adds up and each malady takes a little bit more of your time to prepare for the day or to prepare for bed, or more to take with you when you go someplace.  And that is what I mean when I say “IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME” just being older!

Now I know why people need to retire.  It takes time to take care of these old bodies!  Just don’t be surprised at all the little surprises that pop up along the pathway as we trudge to the top of the hill.  As for me, I choose to meander on the way up and take time to smell the roses.  And if truth be told, I am enjoying each day I live, regardless how much time it takes me to do, what I used to could do, so much more quickly.  I don’t have as much time as I used to but as long as I can drive myself to the gym I will at least show up.  I want to do as much as I can for as long as I can.  For me personally old age is not a destination; it is a place I aspire to go in order to finish some of my dreams that I’ve yet to fulfill. It is so much better to be old when you think of the alternative.  So, even as I slow down, God is still by my side giving me the strength I need for each moment I live.  We are never promised tomorrow.  I just thank God each day for every moment he allows me to walk on this earth.  And I especially thank God for each and every day that Dave and I share this road together. 

No matter where you are in life, stop and give praise to the one who made you, as well as who died for you, so that you will someday live eternally  with Him in heaven.  That is where my pathway is leading.  Where is your pathway taking you?

 

I KNOW ONE THING CERTAIN

By Kathleen Martens

June 14, 2016

 

The end of the road

Is not really the end,

When the one waiting

Is your truest Friend.

 

No matter how steep

Or rugged the path,

Or however wearisome,

It will not last.

 

The end is in sight

When you’ve come so far.

When You reach the top

Your sight can’t be marred.

 

The highway of life

Takes twists and turns,

As well as experiences

That helped us learn.

 

We are to keep our focus

On the God who loves all.

God designed a perfect plan

That we would not fall.

 

He commanded each one

To honor father and mother

That our days would be long

On earth with our brothers.

 

And when we have wisdom,

Days are added to life,

So man and woman live longer

As husband and wife.

 

So I thank God daily

For years on this earth,

For hours and moments

Are all of great worth.

 

And though I am older,

My privilege complete

When God calls me home

And Jesus I meet.

 

And so it takes longer

To do as I must,

At least I can move

And hopefully won’t rust.

 

So I accept each day

As a precious jewel,

And study Gods Scripture,

My most treasured tool.

 

And as I walk

Through these later years,

I know one thing certain,

Closer to God I draw near.

 

Deuteronomy 5:16

¹⁰ “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
¹¹ For by me your days will be multiplied,
And years of life will be added to you.”

 

Thank You God for however many days I left on this earth.

Thank You for creating me.

Thank You Lord for all our talks and hours we have spent together.

Thank You for all the days I have lived.

Thank You for creating asparagus.

Thank You that Dave walks beside me.

I love You so much God!

 

HAVE A GREAT AFTERNOON AND BLESSED TOMORROW. 

 

Monday June 13 2016  BOXES OF MY MOTHER’S MEMORIES

So many memories packed away in boxes.  I went through two boxes today that seemed to take hours.  Small items to sort through; letters, personal tablets (the paper kind), eye glasses, my grandfather’s pocket knife, baby clothes, aprons that come with stories, and a varied assortment of other small memorabilia which my mother thought important enough to give me many years before she died.  My mother knew how I loved going back over the history of our family, those I knew, those she knew, and some who my grandmother told me about.  The farthest generation back that I met was my mother’s grandmother (my great grandmother) when I was 8 years old.

When I met my great grandmother she was in a “rest home” facility.  She was always referred to as Great Grandma Lowe. Her first name was Mary.  She had dementia and was also bed-ridden.  I remember that she showed me her “baby”.  It was a large, life-sized, hard rubber doll.  It was wrapped in a blanket and she hugged it to her.  Of course I didn’t understand the situation and was quite confused.  I definitely knew it was NOT a baby.   THE LOOK my mother gave me, insured that I would not ask questions, nor say anything about the fact that her baby was just a doll.  I was skeptical of my grandmother after that.  However, I was very glad I met her.

My oldest sister has relayed to me a few of her earliest memories of “Great Grandma Lowe”.  My sister found her quite harsh and unfriendly toward most of her grandchildren except a favored few.  Her first husband died of food poisoning about the time my Grandmother married in 1917.   Her mother remarried and though she divorced her second husband, she was always remembered and referred to by her second husband’s last name.  What I must keep in mind is that Great Grandma Lowe was my mother’s grandmother and my mama dearly loved her grandma.  She always spoke very highly of her.

When I received the endowment of my mama’s correspondence there were a few old greeting card boxes filled with her most cherished letters.  I could tell by the tenor of the letter from her grandma that the two were probably closer than I realized. Grandma Lowe died when I was 10 years old.  She was up in her 90’s.  All three of my last three maternal ancestors lived into their 90’s and all three had dementia. 

Today was a tough day as far as letting go of anything in those two boxes.  Both were the size of a fruit box and they were given to me in person by mother about 20 years ago.  She described each item to me, labeling some, and told me the stories that she remembered about the items.  I decided that those two boxes would be keepsakes to pass on to my children.  I am going to save one large suitcase to pack all the historical family treasures from both Dave’s family and my family.  I will only keep what will fit into the suitcase.  I too would like to pass them on and let our children see some of the handmade items that belonged to their ancestors. 

One reason it took so long to go through these boxes was that I re-read the letters and notes attached to all the items.  I handled each relic, tried on the apron that belonged to my grandfather’s mother (who was a tall and enormously wide woman), and then held up my mother’s, mother’s house-dress (which I remember her wearing), comparing it to my frame.  My mother’s mama was very short and quite round.  Most of her dresses were made to look like long sacks with a tie around the middle that always rode up and snuggled under her pendulous bosoms and protruding round belly.  She looked like she would be soft to hug but I don’t ever remember receiving a hug from her.  But somehow I always knew she loved me, she just didn’t know how to show it.

Come to think of it, I don’t remember any hugs from my mother either.  I’m sure she held me close when I was a baby but by the time I was a few years old, and old enough to retain memories, her physical or verbal displays of affection ceased to exist.  She was never touched in a loving way and therefore she did not learn how to pass that touch on.  Once I was grown however, I never thought for one moment that I was not loved by her.  But what I learned from my childhood was that I knew how I did not want to parent.  I was successful in changing that pattern.  And so many memories came flooding back just now when I looked back to earlier this afternoon when my son was leaving our house after lunch.  I was working at the sink and we were alone for a few moments in the kitchen.  He came and stood by me, held his arms wide open and gathered me into his embrace.  His strong muscles enveloping me as he caressed my back.  My arms were tight around him, my face turned to one side against his chest, enjoying this precious love moment with my son who was, and still is, so dearly loved. I had intentionally changed the patterns of my family’s culture which made it so natural for him to express his affection so honestly and easily.

So you can see all the memories that opening a couple of boxes can construe.  The more emotions and memories I experience makes me all the more see the wisdom in keeping a house downsized yearly, monthly, weekly, and even daily.   I’m trying but I’m not very good at it yet.  But I’m really trying.  Just taking notice of what both our children are doing, in keeping things from becoming cluttered, is giving me more and more incentive to be successful.  Because of living their growing up years with a mom who became so attached to everything, they too knew how they didn’t want to live as adults.  I am happy that they were able to change the patterns of our immediate family’s culture.

 

TREASURES FROM GENERATIONS PAST

By Kathleen Martens

June 13, 2016

 

What to do is the big question,

Do I save or give it away?

Perhaps it’s my children who should decide

How I should handle this decision today.

 

What about the things I remember?

The memories made in my past?

And the keepsakes that I have saved

Helping my memory to last.

 

So what to do with another’s memories?

Do I keep them to enjoy while I live?

Should I tell the stories to our children

Hoping the relics to another generation give?

 

And now those treasures from generations past

In boxes, are long dejected,

And I’m concerned that in future generations

The contents will be rejected.

 

My mother’s keepsakes were hers alone

About those who came before.

I was there to hear some stories,

And I always wanted to know more.

 

Memories seem to spill from my heart

As I think about the past.

But a lot of memories are not mine

When I’m gone they will not last.

 

God, I thank You that I can still recall my memories.

And Lord, thank You for reminding me that my treasures are not of this world but those I have deposited in heaven.

Thank You for all Your blessings in my life and providing me with so much.

Thank You for a loving son and daughter.

Thank You too for making it so much easier for me to release “things”.

Thank You for Your amazing grace!

 

GOOD NIGHT AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH WISDOM AND INSIGHT AS YOU LIVE EACH DAY.

P.S.

Actually, the poem you just read was written in the exact reverse order of stanzas than what you read above.  I first read the poem to Dave as it was originally written. I then asked him to again listen while I read it starting with the last stanza first and then reading the next to last stanza as the second verse, and so on with each of the verses.  No need to bother reading the original rendition below if it is too confusing, but you may find it interesting to see how my brain worked in writing the stanzas in reverse order first, not realizing I would like the reversed order best.  Oh yes, I did change a few words here and there.

 

TREASURES FROM GENERATIONS PAST

By Kathleen Martens

June 13, 2016

 

Memories seem to spill from my heart

As I think about the past.

But a lot of memories are not mine

When I’m gone they will not last.

 

My mother’s keepsakes are hers alone

Of those who came before.

I was there to hear some stories,

And I always wanted to know more.

 

And now those treasures from generations past

In boxes, are long dejected,

And I’m concerned that in future generations

The contents will be rejected.

 

So what to do with another’s memories?

Do I keep them to enjoy while I live?

Should I tell the stories to our children

Hoping the relics to another generation give?

 

And what about the things I remember?

The memories made in my past?

And the keepsakes that I have saved

Helping my memory to last.

 

What to do is the big question,

Do I save or give it away?

Perhaps it’s my children who should decide

How I should handle it today.

 

GOOD NIGHT AGAIN!

Sunday Sabbath June 12 2016   LUNCH, BLOG, AND NAP!

On Sunday I always peruse the next week’s calendar so as to be prepared for what is coming.  This particular week has a lot coming!  As I viewed it a few moments ago I could just imagine all my hopes for accomplishments dissolving into thin air.  I am down to less than two weeks to collect from closets and drawers and shelves and floor and shop and studio and garage and…and…everywhere else I am planning to scour for valuable to sell in 10 days.  It is a daunting task.

Why did I allow so many other appointments to gain importance, you may ask? I didn’t plan for any of them to be there.  One is a physical therapy appointment because I having so much trouble with my torn rotator cuff.  Another one is an emergency eye appointment because of an eye situation that has developed in my right eye.  Both eyes are affected but the right seems to be in worse condition.  Another event is a commitment I have twice a year that I do not want to forego.  And there are actually a couple of other entries but I can’t remember what they are.  Oh, and one day (next Sunday is both Father’s day as well as my husband’s birthday).  We always try to have the birthday party on the actual birth date. 

Since the birthday party is a dinner party here I must also prepare for that.  There are some things that just can’t wait.  Remember what I said a few days ago about making a person’s day of birth a memorable occasion?  I want to do that for Dave.

If you really want the truth, I’d rather be taking a nap than writing at this precise moment.  And that says a lot!  I NEVER LIKE TO TAKE NAPS!  But, there comes a day (like today) when my body needs, craves, longs, desires, and insists that I MUST REST AND NAP!  So that is what I plan to do when I finish here at the computer.  By revealing this I feel as if I am confessing the fact that I am aging.  And in order to stay on top of my game this weekend I will succumb to the idea.

 

LUNCH, BLOG, AND NAP

By Kathleen Martens

June 12, 2016

 

Lunch, blog, and nap

In precisely that order.

I will lie down and rest

And stop being a sorter.

 

I’ll set aside the boxes,

The closets, shelves and larder.

And pay attention to what I need

Though for me it will be harder.

 

I’d much rather be up,

Making inroads in my plans.

But my eyelids are drooping,

And I can barely stand.

 

Well, maybe it’s not quite that bad

But for my poem it sounded good.

I only wish I could do more work,

And I’d do it if I possibly could.

 

But I will listen with my heart

To what my body is saying.

I want to stay as strong as I can

And the price is the nap I’m paying.

 

Short and sweet will be my blogs

For this week and the next,

Because I have much to accomplish

Without becoming vexed.

 

Have a great day my blogger friends

I send greetings and a “GOD BLESS YOU”.

May God protect you from all harm

As you do what you must do.

 

Thank You God for common sense.

Thank You for a strong body.

And Lord, I even thank You for my weak hands for they are Your hands.

Thank You for prunes.

Thank You again for my wonderful husband! (Maybe I should have put this line above the prunes).

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday June 11 2016  A FILLED UP DAY

 

10:41 p.m.  Just arrived home.  Below is the story of my day.

 

HOME AGAIN

By Kathleen Martens

June 11, 2016

 

From sun up to now

Not a moment to stop,

And now that it’s late

I need to plop!

 

My morning begins

Soft and sweet.

I say Good morning to God,

Unnecessary to tweet.

 

Ready to leave for the gym

But waylaid by the phone

Which was a desperate call.

So I stayed home.

 

Then off again

Determined to sweat.

Which I accomplished

Without any fret.

 

Home again to meet

A friend that dropped by

Who is interested

In our couch to buy.

 

Then off to prepare lunch

Ate and then left

To honor a graduate

Who is quite deft.

 

And then off we drove,

Grand children to see,

And to enjoy a movie

Which is always free.

 

Then roasted marshmallows,

Added chocolate and crackers,

Which made two little boys

Quite the little zappers.

 

And now we are home

My body like led.

So a poem for a blog

Before I go to bed.

 

Thank You God for watching over us this day.

Thank You Lord for the beautiful memories made today.

Thank You for the wonderful sermons I listened to this morning while exercising.

Thank You for a son who has a truck.

Thank You for cold grapes.

 

Good night and God bless you

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friday June 10 2016 REMINISCING

We are now the parents of a middle aged adult!  Am I correct in thinking that 40 is still considered the beginning of “middle aged”?  So, am I still in the middle age too?  The determining factor seems to get a bit blurry when it refers to oneself.  Someone “OLD” has always been someone 10 years older than I am currently!  So perhaps to the 40 year olds, Dave and I have long ago entered the category of the “elderly”.  All I really know for certain is, that age is just number and we (you and I) are just who we are, regardless our age.

That is the way I choose to think of it.  As I look out from my eye view and talk to younger people I actually forget that I am standing there in front of them exposing all the ravages that take a toll on the “older” body.  When I see the young people, in my spirit I become one of them, and I forget that I am any older than they are.  Perhaps it’s because my spirit is eternal and never ages, and it is the young me that shows up for the younger crowd.  And then I remember what I see from the inside looking out is something totally different from what the younger generation sees from the outside looking in.  Oh well, the fantasy world is sometimes the best place to exist…at least at my age.  The important thing at my age is to know the difference.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING DAUGHTER!  WISH I WERE IN FLORIDA CELEBRATING WITH YOU! 

Can’t wait for you to open your gift.  I promise you, it will not add one item more to what you already own.  Remember, it is the thought that counts!!!

Forty years ago today I was at work on Thursday June 10^th when I received “THE CALL” from our friend Peggy.  Peggy is the person that God used to be instrumental in connecting Dave and me with the birth mother of our child.  This is what I wrote down when Peggy gave me the news that Rebecca was born.

“6  6oz

19 ½ ”

2:00

No hair”

That was it!  I wrote the note because I didn’t want to forget a word that was said to me.  And those few words scribbled on that scrap of paper were all my brain could comprehend.  That simple message said, “I WAS A MOTHER”!  I kept that note in my pocket for the rest of the day and just kept touching it and re-reading it.  It was all I could do to believe it had really happened.   I still have that actual note taped in Rebecca’s baby album (the first child always gets the album).  I could barely contain myself at work.  I think they should have sent me home after I received that phone call.  I prepared in-office surgical trays and assisted with wound debridement, suture removal, and other office procedures.  It is a wonder I could even think to perform protocol.  I could barely focus on what I was doing.

Dave and I went to the hospital that evening and we didn’t even have the opportunity to touch Rebecca.  We just stood at the window and longingly wished we could be included in the back room with her.  We went home without touching our daughter on the first day of her life.

The next evening we were again at the window gazing and wishing the same thing.  After a while a nurse peeked out from one of the nursery doors and asked why we were there.  I told the nurse it was just so heartbreaking to be so close to our daughter and not be able to touch her.  She looked at us quizzically and asked why we couldn’t touch her.  We explained about the fact that we were the adoptive parents and had no rights as of yet.  She told us to follow her.  She took us to a room, told us to wash and gown up and she would be right back.  OH MY GOODNESS!  She came back holding all 6 pound 6  ½ ounces  of our little, “No hair”, baby girl.  I can’t even begin to tell you the love that God poured into my heart in that special moment.  We knew for six months that this baby was promised to us.  Our love was already planted but it became a symphony when she was placed into my arms.  The nurse snapped a photo and it has been displayed in a prominent place in every home we have lived in since that time.  It is still my very favorite photo of our new family.

As I gazed at Rebecca as I cradled her in my arms that first time I remember thinking that all the potential of the person she would someday be was in my safekeeping.  I don’t know what Dave was thinking, but for me it was a serious, exciting, nerve racking, and a most unbelievable moment in time.  I knew that I had to protect her, advocate for her, fight for her if need be.  I took parenting very seriously, and probably, on occasions, went overboard.   When our children were quite young I could see that I did not like the influence of television in their lives and we weaned them from watching television.  I wanted Dave and I to be the ones who influenced what went into our children’s vulnerable minds.  No television seemed a bit strict to some but I have never regretted removing it from their life.  That first moment when I held her I looked into her puckered up face and realized that everything she could be was wrapped in that little 6 pound 6 ½ ounce body.  It was at that moment I became a Mother Bear!  She was mine to protect.

It was necessary for the birth mother to be discharged from the hospital before we had legal rights to carry Rebecca from the hospital premises.  We arrived excited and early on Saturday morning.  We stopped by Carole’s room and told her how grateful we were for the amazing gift she gave us.  Carole was three months pregnant when we met her for the first time.  It was at the time she interviewed us as prospective parents.   Recently, when we visited her, and her husband David, she shared with me that after she interviewed us she did not interview any other couples.  She said she knew in her heart that we were the ones she wanted to parent her child.  We were her first choice.  Dave and I both believe with all of our hearts that Rebecca was, and still is, our gift from God.  What a blessing she has been to us through the years!

Forty years ago there was no such thing as “mandatory pregnancy leave” for adoptive parents or for fathers for that matter.  Of course the birthing mother was off a few weeks for recovery but that did not include me.  I took one week off as vacation and then had to leave Rebecca in the care of another person.  Day care was very difficult to find.  Large business day cares were in the beginning stages of becoming an accepted way of childcare.  The only thing was the large daycare would not accept a child who was under two years old.  Well, that left us out.  I had a neighbor that lived next door to where we had previously lived in Anaheim, California.   This former neighbor said she would she would watch Rebecca until we could find a home care provider.  On my first day back to work I dropped Rebecca off at about 7:30 a.m. and picked her up after 6:00 p.m.  When I walked in, I found Rebecca crying desperately in her carrier (an infant seat that reclined).  We lived quite close so I picked up the carrier, the neighbor gave me her diaper bag (we used cloth diapers), and I quickly walked to my car so I could get her home as quickly as possible.  I had no idea what was wrong.  When I arrived home and picked her up she was saturated from head to toe.  I looked in her diaper bag and all her bottles were still full.  And not one of her fresh diapers had been used.  Since the buckle was still latched across her chest I doubted if she had been picked up even once.   

Needless to say, I was distraught.  I took another week off work.  I did not call my former neighbor and I never went back to that woman’s house again.  I actually don’t think I even paid her.  I was too upset to even have a confrontation.  I felt like a neglectful mother for having left my baby in her care.  Today, I would report her.  I learned a great lesson that day.  And just for the record, she never called me to find out why I didn’t bring her back.

Fortunately within the week someone from my church called and told me about a woman in the church that did in home daycare that was close to my work.  She was unbelievable and Rebecca thrived in her care.  She only kept children through the first year of their life.  Rebecca was the only one she kept for two years.  She also was the provider for Courtland when he was born three years later.  However, she could not be convinced to keep him for year two!  I took him to another provider but was so apprehensive about leaving him that I quit work, pulled both the kids out of day care and was a stay at home mom on a budget.  And it was worth it!

So now, 40 years after it started it is over.  Our kids our grown, we are retired, and we still choose to live on a budget.  As much as I loved being the mom of little ones, I do so enjoy them as adults.  But every once in a while I cannot help myself and must ruminate those years that seem to get more gentle as time passes.  Those years were happy years and they were difficult years.  And they still make me smile.

 

REMINISCING

By Kathleen Martens

June 10, 2016

 

Diapers and bottles

Puke and poop,

Where the buck stops

That’s the scoop.

 

Peanut butter and jelly,

Messes galore,

Late night earaches.

And walking the floor.

 

Squabbles and squawks,

Bites and tantrums.

The story of toddlers

Is not a phantom.

 

And I asked

Will this time never end?

And so soon it was over

With no rest to lend.

 

Soccer and little league

Auditions and acting.

For things to do

Were never lacking.

 

Marching band

As well as football,

Musicals to watch

Spring and fall.

 

Our adventures mounted

As kids grew.

They were always involved

In something new.

 

Then all grown

As they flitted around

Until finally

They settled down.

 

And too soon

It was all over

And I’m retired

Living life in clover.

 

Do I secretly long

For days long passed?

Not on your life

Should that be asked!

 

I still dream

To fulfill many plans.

Every day I work

To do as much as I can.

 

But it’s fun to reminisce

Because I am free

For I am allowed

To at last be me.

Job 8: 8-11  (NIV)

Thank You Lord for the times when You rescued our children from the jaws of death.

Thank You too for Your angels that hover around us.

Thank You for the lovely lady I met at the Attic Angel Fund Raiser today.

Thank You for peanut butter and jelly.

 

GOOD NIGHT TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.  GOD BLESS YOU.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thursday June 9 2016   THE POWER OF A LETTER

Yesterday I finished the book “DOWNSIZING THE FAMILY HOME” by Marni Jameson.  A very appropriate book for me to read at this crossroad of my life.  Extremely well written and informative in regards to downsizing personal belongings or closing down an aged parent’s home who have perhaps died or moving to as assisted living facility.  She speaks about dispersing the contents of the home, what venues certain items should be sold, example: eBay, Craig’s List, garage sale, donate, throw away, or keep.  She goes into detail as what should be kept as permanent records.

There were a lot of interesting scenarios about dispersing the contents of the family home.  This kind of situation often causes a lot of upset, hard feelings, and permanent derision with siblings facing this event.  Years before my mother entered the abyss of dementia she purposely started sorting her personal belongings.  She wanted to give certain people certain items so she made contact with them and offered the items to them.  She corresponded with many people over the years of her life and I believe she kept ever single letter ever written to her.  Since our family was strung out across the United States and email was not available back then, there were a lot of cassette tapes passed back and forth as well as letters, cards and notes.  I was included in this correspondence because every phone call we made out of our area code was costly.

By the time my mom died at 91 the contents of her entire life fit in a bedroom.  Yes, there were things she had kept and everything was neatly stacked, waiting for heirs to claim their endowment.  She had five daughters living.  Both of her sons died before she did.  Mama’s one request was that no one would fight over anything which had belonged to her. 

My eldest sister was in charge of the “event”.  Four daughters were present and no one else.  One daughter chose not to come due to hard feelings that already existed between the sisters unrelated to mama’s death.  The absent sister had given a list of what she would like to choose and asked another sister to be her voice.  My oldest sister gave each of us a sheet of paper and a pen.  Each one of us was to write on the paper what it was that we most desired.  If what was written down was different we would all receive our first choice.  This way there was no hierarchy of going from oldest to youngest each time we wrote a request.  As long as no one chose the same item in a given round we each received what was written on our paper. 

Over and over again choices were made.  There were no duplicates on any same round until the very end when there were just small items left of really no consequential value.  Actually there wasn’t anything of value monetarily when we started.  Primarily everything was just memories and sentiments of the past.  When I chose something toward the end that one of my sisters chose, it was easy for me to let it go because I could tell it meant more to them.  There were really only a few things I desired.   The first two I chose were mama’s correspondence and journals, and her Mother’s ring (which I had purchased for her years before).  One other item I also desired was the last Bible mama used at the end of her reading days.  I had a feeling my youngest sister also wanted it so I purposely did not choose it in the first round to see if it was her favorite.  It was.  I was happy for her, but a little sad for myself.  Are there times when I wish I could still rifle through the pages that were so well worn and read mama’s notations?  Yes, but I just pray that the Bible will give my sister comfort.  Mama’s death was extremely difficult for her.

My oldest sister chose not to participate in choosing anything from mama’s belongings.  I would have been better off space-wise if I had done the same thing.  Now I have shelves full of her old correspondence, minus the letters I really wanted.  As mama re-read all her correspondence late in life she set aside each person’s letters who had corresponded with her on a regular basis and mailed them all back to each individual.  I remember receiving a large stack of my own letters.  During the early years of my children’s lives I did not write a consistent journal so I lost a lot of their growing up years that I wish I had logged.  I often regretted that so many stories and accomplishments in their young lives were not written down while the experience was fresh in my mind.  Well, when I re-read the letters, many 10 or 12 pages long, hand written, there was story after story of all the daily happenings in our lives during those years.  I was delighted to have them back.  I just wasn’t delighted to know that I didn’t get to peek in all my aunts’ and cousins’ personal letters!  (Shame on me!)  Mama was a wise old soul.

I have not finished reading all that was written to her in those rubber made containers that I carted home.  I did learn some interesting tidbits however.  I had no idea about all the things my mother was busy doing for others.  There were so many nice letters and cards and wonderful thank you notes included in the bins I carted home.  Remember, this was the time when people actually wrote letters and sent cards.  It was so refreshing to see all the wonderful, kind, and generous acts my mother did for so many others.  She worked tirelessly all her life, did not gossip, and rarely told anything about her undercover acts of kindness and generosity.  It put a smile in my heart to see how she was perceived by so many.  I believe my endowment in those bins of correspondence was more valuable than if those bins had been filled with gold.  Mama loved God and she walked His path in all areas of her life.  I also have her journals and have read a scattering of them.  Nowhere in her journals does she ever mention what she had done for another.  I would never have known her as well as I do now had I not read the cards written to her.  I think I made a good choice choosing her journals and correspondence.

There is so much more I could tell you but I have already gone over my quota of words.  I said all that to say this, I think the way mama’s possessions were handled was a mighty fine idea.  None of us walked away disappointed or angry.  We honored mama’s request.  If you are facing a similar situation give some discussion as to how you might best handle the circumstances for all involved before the problems or hurt feelings crop up.  And you just might want to read Marni Jameson’s book.

Following is a poem that I thought would be more appropriate than anything I could write again.  As you can see this poem was written over 4 years ago but I would like to share it with you.  And remember, it’s never too late to send someone a greeting by mail.  It is sure to put a smile on their face.

 

The Gift of a Letter

Kathleen Martens

March 21, 2012

 

Simple words written down

By someone of no great renown.

From the heart written true

To convey a message new.

 

Words of thought written with pleasure

That someday become someone’s treasure.

Informative or perhaps mundane

To be carried down the lane.

 

Touched by fingers, composed from heart,

Folded neatly to depart,

Slipped inside a flat cocoon

To be delivered very soon.

 

Stamped and licked before it’s sent

And when received seal is rent.

Then a smile lights anew

Knowing someone thought of you!

 

Thank You God for wonderful memories.

Thank You God for a mother who loved You.

And Thank You for a mother who loved me.

Thank You Lord that we are Your letters.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU.

 

P.S.

I wrote another poem just now to add to the one above.

 

SENT WITH LOVE

By Kathleen Martens

June 9, 2016

 

Thank You God for the gift of letters,

Thank You for words spoken true.

Scribbled pictures and holiday cards

Are all smiles stamped to view.

 

Thank You for the sunshine

That words quietly bring.

When like apples of gold

 They cause the heart to sing.

 

Thank You God for thoughts

Others share from their heart

So that our ordinary day

Will have a lovely start.

 

Thank You for envelopes

That are neatly sealed,

Sent with so much love

For you, only revealed.

 

I hope you receive a lovely letter from someone soon!