Thursday September 8 2016  NOT A COMPLAINT…JUST THE WAY I FEEL

The small gym where I workout has never blared music over loud speakers.  Most people exercising have headsets on listening to whatever they choose to hear through iPods or iPhones.  Some plug into personal televisions on their exercise machines.  A few seem to like the quiet (if you can call a gym “quiet”).  Actually our gym has amazing, amplifying acoustics.  It magnifies all sound, be it an exertion grunt, a sneeze, weights clattering to the floor, and as we found out today, piped in radio music as well.  We considered everything hunky-dory at the Princeton Club until Dave and I went to the gym today and found that the owner has issued a new rule that managers must now pipe in radio music (with poor quality speakers) 24/7.  IT WAS AWFUL!  And it wouldn’t have made a difference if I had even liked the station.  The acoustics is not conducive to radio speakers.  I had to turn my iPhone to the loudest volume and still the minister’s words were somewhat obscured.  One of the reasons I so enjoy working out is because I can use my time there to listen to sermons on my iPhone broadcast from www.southlandchristian.org   I discussed the radio noise dilemma with the manager but he informed me his hands were tied and he had to follow the new rule from the head guy.  Well, we don’t have to rejoin when our time expires.  Surely, there is some gym, somewhere, that doesn’t force their paying customers to listen to music they do not enjoy!  Unless the music is discontinued I don’t know if we will be rejoining the PRINCETON CLUB EXPRESS IN FITCHBURG when our membership expires.  There wasn’t one person that I spoke with today at the gym that wanted that music to continue.  There were a lot of disgruntled customers! 

It certainly is a good thing that this didn’t happen in July.  If you remember, mine and Dave’s challenge in July was to not complain about anything.  Well, it worked, we both did a good job and have become more cognizant of when we might be aware that a complaint is surfacing, so we rephrase it as a statement of fact (or opinion) when we catch ourselves. Last month we practiced giving more in ways of kindness and courtesy toward others, as well as giving in other ways.  This month we are taking a break from a new challenge and continue the practice of what we have already disciplined ourselves to do.  I must admit, I really do not like to complain, but sometimes having your voice heard is not so much a complaint as it is educating someone else when they are making such a horrific bumble! (My opinion.)  I’m just going to have to have a talk with Mr. Head Guy!

 

NOT A COMPLAINT…JUST THE WAY I FEEL

By Kathleen Martens

September 8 2016

 

When my peace is shattered

By loud garbled sound,

It’s not very fun

To stick around.

 

I love the quiet

So I can choose

What I desire to hear

And my hours not lose.

 

During my time of exercise,

Listening to my choice

Was like a vacation

From clamoring noise.

 

Sweet quiet music

Or a talking voice

Makes it so much easier

To keep my poise.

 

I already dread

Tomorrow’s return

To the Princeton Club

Where I try to learn.

 

I listen to speeches

Of things I choose to hear,

And if that radio continues

I will shed some tears.

 

The world is so noisy

Why add more garble?

The sound of that radio

It’s really quite horrible!

 

So Please Mr. “Head Guy”

Show some compassion

Or The Princeton Express

May soon be out of fashion!

 

God, perhaps I need to ask forgiveness for my “grumbling heart”.  If I do I thank You for Your forgiveness.

Thank You that You give me grace and mercy.

Thank You for the times of silence so I can enjoy Your presence.

Thank You for loving me.

And thank You that I can hear.

 

Thank You readers if you read down to this line.  I guess I did a bit of venting on my blog.  But it really was pretty awful at the gym today.  I don’t go back again until Saturday.  I wonder if the music will still be playing.  Oh, I hope not.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday September 7 2016  FEWER WORDS

One thing that was not accomplished yesterday was my return to the craft room.   It was not to be.  So that is my goal for today.  This morning I had a two hour learning session with a friend who so graciously gave me his time to help me recall how to set up a blog.  Since I needed to do a “dummy blog” I just went ahead and set up another blog.  It will be launched in the future when I get to it!  I wanted a refresher course because I want to be able to help someone else learn the intricacies of how it is done.  Another lesson will be needed before I have confidence to teach it.

Since I was in the neck of the woods of a book bindery I stopped by to get samples of pricing to have some books bound.  I’m still quite a ways from the final drafts I need, but I wanted to know what to plan for in regards to the cost of book binding.  The binding is actually quite affordable.  The printing cost is where the expense is involved.

Lunch is over and here I am at the computer.  The reason being is that I want to write my blog so I get back to my album pages!  But the only problem is, all I can think about it wanting to work on the photo album.  I always wonder if I will run out of words to write. 

Speaking of words, earlier today I decided that perhaps I should try not to talk so much, especially at home.  I was thinking about how I always have something to talk about and wondered if Dave ever gets tired of hearing me talk so much.  I don’t think I could live with another person who talked as much as I do.  It would probably drive me crazy.  But Dave is always so gracious and kind, doesn’t get “short” with me very often, and is quite a conversationalist himself.  I love listening to Dave talk.  There is never a day that goes by that he doesn’t teach me something new.  He keeps me informed of world affairs, educates me in financial matters, or causes me to laugh.  He is well informed about history, sports, wars, and has unending trivial facts tucked away in his brain.  And he always tells me he loves me.  Perhaps that is how he puts up with my unending chatter.

When we first married it was quite an adjustment for Dave when he found out how outgoing I was with everyone and how much I could talk.  He asked me if I couldn’t tone “it” down a bit.  So I tried.  I looked around me and viewed all the sedate, quite, lady friends in our circle and decided I would try to become like them.  No one talked very much unless they were drawn into conversation.  And so, I decided I would do likewise.  I would wait until someone addressed me and brought up a topic and then politely comment when it was expected.  It lasted for about two weeks.  But I really did try!  Inside it felt like I was going to explode; as if I was being strangled from the inside out.  I even felt myself wriggling in my seat because I had so many “interesting things” to talk about; sort of like a kid who knows the right answer in class and the teacher won’t call on her.  I even had some of the people who knew me well ask if there was anything wrong.  I would smile sweetly (like the other ladies did) and say, “Oh, of course not”.  How could I tell them I was suffering from self induced “tongue tied syndrome”?

Well, perhaps since I am older I should try once again to be more sedate…but, on the other hand, maybe it’s too late to teach an old dog new tricks.  I’m just very fortunate that my husband loves me so much.

 

FEWER WORDS

By Kathleen Martens

September 7, 2016

 

Sometimes it’s best

To simply be

The way that God

Designed me.

 

And also best

That perhaps too

You should rejoice

How He designed you.

 

Thank You God for making me just the way I am.

Thank You for teaching me to love people.

Thank You Lord that You have created every single person uniquely.

Thank You God for Who You Are!

 

Have a wonderful day.  NOW I CAN GO AND WORK ON MY ALBUM.  GUILT FREE!

GOD BLESS YOU!

 

 

 

Monday September 6 2016  REVERSE OF A HOUSECOAT DAY!

Today was the exact opposite of my yesterday.  I accomplished a lot at home yesterday; today absolutely nothing.  But…today was a successful and meaningful day as well.  It was errand day.  I had lists of where to go, what to buy, food packed in my ice bag for lunch, and no time limits!  It started out with the gym and from then on I was on my own.  And to refresh your memory, remember what I have said previously in regards to the fact that I lose track of time.  It is so wonderful on the days when I actually give myself permission to not be aware of the clock.  My stomach lets me know when to eat and other than that I have no constraints.  I’ve learned to pack my lunch when I know I am going to be out because I enjoy the freedom of not being fearful of needing to eat.  I would rather eat my own food than anything I can buy in a restaurant. 

The first Tuesday of each month is Senior Citizen discount day at Walgreen’s drug store.  So I keep a list of the items I need to buy and shop on the first Tuesday of each month.  Of course I do a bit of sleuth work beforehand to find out how much things cost elsewhere to see if Walgreen’s 20% discount will be lower than the prices of other markets.  Today I had a long list but I only bought a couple of things from Walgreen’s because I could get better prices elsewhere WITHOUT a percentage off discount.  Don’t just shop because there is a sale, but rather be astute and know the prices elsewhere before you go.  My iPhone is my companion when I shop.  I take pictures in other stores of the products I need and make certain the price is showing.  It must be recent pricing to make an educated decision.  As you know, prices change from one day to the next.

It rained while I was shopping but I went ahead and headed over to the KIA showroom and sales floor for a free car wash.  When I bought my car I was informed that I would have free car-washes for as long as I owned the vehicle.  Believe me; it has saved me a bundle.  Dave has the same perk with his KIA but he seldom uses it.  He is just not out and about as often as I am.  

If you read the last few blogs you know I am working on a scrapbook album for my sister’s family and it takes a lot of paper to do what I am doing.  I’m limited in some colors so I felt I was being drawn to Jo Ann’s Fabrics to check out the art supplies.  How convenient; since my travels took me right by the store.  I felt a prompting that I was supposed to stop at that destination; and boy, did I hit the jackpot.  Sheets of paper that were normally 79 cents to $1.79 were on sale 10 sheets for $2.00, or 20 cents each.  Great buy!  Another shopper told me if I went online there was a coupon for an additional 20% off.  I’m not a phone coupon user so I went up to the clerk and she pulled up the coupon, and the other shopper was right.  And…right there online was another coupon for all paper products and related paper crafting tools, priced at 50% off of items that were not on sale.  Oh man!  I was able to make my dollars go even further.  Every single item was scanned and by the time I received my receipt, it was over 5 feet long; I kid you not.

I will use some of this design paper in my sister’s albums, and then what is leftover will be used to create our family albums.  I knew I was going to need more paper products and double sided tape before this project is finished.  These stock-up prices were great to come across.  I’ve learned to listen to the promptings of my heart.  When I hear that still small inner voice I believe it is God’s directive.  Now I am chomping at the bit until I can get back into my craft room and resume my project.

After buying the paper I still had two more grocery store stops on my agenda.  All went well and I arrived home with a car full of supplies BEFORE MY HUNGER FOR DINNER KICKED IN.  I had long ago eaten my meager lunch.  I left the house this morning about 9:30 a.m. and didn’t arrive home until after 4:00 p.m.  I ate some watermelon for a snack and then had everything put away, dinner made, and kitchen cleaned up by 7:00 p.m.  And now I am in my housecoat once again.  Ahhh…it feels so good.  A day well accomplished.

 

NO TIME CONSTRAINTS

By Kathleen Martens

September 6, 2016

 

To not be in a hurry

Is what I love best.

When the clock is ticking

The day seems such a quest.

 

So I choose to clear my head.

To not even think of time,

And just do what must be done,

And the day goes oh, so fine.

 

With nothing on my calendar

While out and on my runs,

It seems the hours are gentler

And it is always much more fun.

 

So when I shop I plan accordingly

To allow this day of pleasure.

Having absolutely, no time constraints,

To me is such a treasure.

 

Thank You God for directing me to such an awesome sale of the items I needed.

Thank You for a day unencumbered by time constraints.

Thank You Lord that this blog was quick to write.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!

P.S.  Since I am a bit of hurry to get to bed this blog has not been proofed!

 

 

 

Monday September 5 2016  TAKING A DAY OF VACATION AWAY FROM RETIREMENT…

Or otherwise known as…THE HOUSECOAT DAY!

Occasionally I actually schedule A HOUSECOAT DAY.  I look ahead on my calendar and I cross a day off, writing “housecoat day” across the blank lines and then do not schedule ANYTHING on that day!  I did this when my work schedule became overburdened and I knew I needed a down day.  When anyone called and asked for any kind of appointment on that particular day, which I considered sacrosanct, I would simply look at my calendar and say, “Oh that day is totally full and it is not possible for me to go”.  It was spoken guilt free because I truly was “busy” doing something else.  I was wearing my housecoat all day without getting dressed and nothing was going to prompt me to go out.

My housecoat days sound more leisurely than they really are.  What I used to do on “housecoat day” was to sit in front of the computer, hours on end, working on wedding photos or high school senior portraits.  I would accomplish more on that one day than I could the rest of the week between appointments.  Post production work in digital photography is a tall mountain to climb.  Post production work was my nemesis.  But, oh how I enjoyed those housecoat days because I was totally uninterrupted.

Only once did my housecoat day backfire on me.  I was ensconced in the computer, enjoying the bra-free day, when the doorbell rang.  My heart started racing because I knew I had nothing on my calendar.  Or did I and I had just overlooked it somehow?  I panicked.  And panic was due.  I went to the door and there stood a man and woman who had an appointment with me for a final consultation for their wedding which was a couple of weeks away.  I was so embarrassed!  I apologized for my undressed state, checked my calendar and to my chagrin saw their name written very lightly in pencil underneath my crossed out lines for my housecoat day.  I asked them to please give me a moment and I would get dressed.  When I returned I then ushered them to my office.  We had the two hour appointment; went over all their wedding details, and they left in a much better frame of mind than what I was feeling.  I must have been convincing in my sincerity that I would not be late for their wedding, and would be appropriately dressed (said with humor), and they acted like it was no big deal.  We laughed about it later.  But I learned my lesson. 

You might think my lesson was that I should never again have a housecoat day.  But no, that wasn’t it.  My lesson was that I would never again use a pencil again to write in an appointment.  My goal when working with wedding clients was to develop a relationship with them during the 18 months to two years I worked with them.  Some of my contracts were made one to two years in advance.  There are several contacts with each couple over those months; updates about plans, engagement photos, dress consultations, photo presentations, picking up orders, pre-wedding consult, the actual wedding, post wedding presentation of photos on the computer, design of the album, and pre-presentation of album before order is sent in.  By the time this couple came they had already surmised my character and professionalism so I did have a plus going for me when they caught me unaware.  It might be funny now to tell about it, but at the time I was not laughing.

So, I said all of the above to tell you two things.  First, this is a housecoat day for me.  It is Labor Day and Dave and I have surmised that we too are getting a day off “from our retirement”.  We need a break!  We slept late, ate late, and started everything else later than usual.  He usually goes to a men’s breakfast each Monday and leaves the house a bit after 6:00 a.m.  So, today was truly a refreshing day for him because the breakfast had not been scheduled.  Even though the morning was relaxed, I somehow see my day progressing as busily and tightly maneuvered as usual.  But, it was great to sleep in until after 7:00 a.m., to not be in a hurry, and to breakfast leisurely.  We had open faced pumpernickel chicken, avocado, and tomato sandwiches with a cup of soup, watermelon and cantaloupe, and cherry tomatoes.  It was delicious!  Our next meal will probably be about 4:00 or 5:00 p.m. with a little snack before bedtime for Dave’s blood sugar levels.  So, my housecoat day will be my reward for all the work I plan to get done. 

The second thing I wanted to tell you is that I am truly my mother’s daughter.  Now how is that for a segue from the above paragraph about my housecoat day?  Well, last week our friends who live through the woods asked us to come down and join them for the movie “GOD IS NOT DEAD” #2.  I told them we could come if I could wear my housecoat.  They have seen me in my housecoat many times and I have absolutely no shame about being seen in my housecoat.  I go outside and work in the yard in my housecoat.  I often wear my housecoat over my clothes because I am cold.  I get into my robe as early as I can at the end of the day, and love to stay in it until the last moment.  I think I would wear it over my church clothes on Sunday mornings if it would be acceptable.  I have gained status to the age barometer that tells me I am always cold.  But, instead of my housecoat I just take a small blanket and throw it across my lap.  Or sometimes I just use my jacket or coat if the weather deems I wear one. 

My friends said my housecoat would be perfectly acceptable to wear.  So Dave and I traipsed across the neighbor’s meadow to get to the path in the woods and we were greeted at the back door by John and Carolyn.  The movie was great, but what made it so enjoyable was having my housecoat wrapped around me, covering me from my neck to just above my feet.  I was warm and I was cozy.  And I think it gave me more enjoyment as I watched the movie; which brings me to the point that I am truly my mother’s daughter. (In case you are wondering, I was dressed underneath.)

While working on the photo albums of our family I have come across some interesting photos.  One that caught my eye was of my mother sitting with a group of ladies at church, at what appeared to be a quilting session.  Mama was an avid quilter by necessity for most of her life.  The quilting frames she used consisted of four, 2X4 inch boards about 10 or 12 feet long.  The boards were wrapped in layers and layers of cotton cloth strips which created a thick padding.  The frames were hung from the ceiling and clamped together at each corner.  The backing of the quilt was tacked to the padded wood and stretched as tightly as possible.  The quilt batting was laid down and basted on the quilt backing and then the quilt topping was tacked on top of the batting, stretched tightly around the hanging board frame.  The ladies would sit around the outside edges of the quilt on all four sides in order to quilt the outer edges.  As work was accomplished the finished part would be rolled tightly around the padded frame.  They would then scoot their chairs closer and begin the next row.  Slowly the quilt would become smaller and smaller and the ladies became closer together.  If the quilt was not finished when it was time to go home, the quilt would conveniently be drawn up to the ceiling in order for it to be out of the way.  I actually remember many homes that had quilts hanging close to the ceilings.

In the picture I mentioned, I can see one edge of a quilt frame and my mom sitting close by.  There are other quilting frames in the room as well.  The photo is dark and it appears that these frames are anchored to the floor with heavy metal bases keeping the frames taut.  It appears my mom is in the basement of her church with other people who are also quilting.  She attended these quilting meeting faithfully each week during her later years.  But, it appears that she is the only one who is wrapped up in her HOUSECOAT!  YOU GO MAMA!  Now I know for certain whose daughter I am!  I honestly did not know that she wore her housecoat at a public gathering such as her quilting group.  It made me smile!  And she liked the same kind of housecoats I do; the kind that are velvety or perhaps soft velour with a zipper up the front and about two sizes too big.  And I bet because she wasn’t so cold, she enjoyed her quilting time all the more.

It was comfy to wear my warm snugly housecoat at John and Carolyn’s, but the day I was caught unaware; THAT WASN’T FUNNY AT ALL!

 

LIKE A VISIT TO THE HEART

By Kathleen Martens

September 5 2016

 

Memories on little pieces of paper

Bring smiles to my face.

So interesting to view a loved one

As well as the place.

 

Parts of life briefly captured,

Forevermore at rest and concise,

A moment standing still in time,

Pinpointing a moment precise.

 

Most memories bring joy,

But some come with tears,

Knowing loved ones have passed away,

And have been gone for many years.

 

But that simple photo

Is like a visit to the heart.

And the pain is dulled a bit,

Even though we are apart.

 

And so I choose to smile

But there are moments when I cry.

And yet it is so fun to visit

My loved ones who have died.

 

Because I know someday

I will again see their smile,

For we are only separated

For just a little while.

 

Because we share the same Father

Who lives in heaven above

I know some day I’ll see my Mama

Because of God’s amazing love.

 

Thank You Father for all the beautiful memories I have of those I love.

Thank You Lord for Your unending tender care.

Thank You Lord that Your spirit tenderly calls me day after day.

Thank You for photos.

 

HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT AFTERNOON.  GOD BLESS YOU.

 

 

Sunday Sabbath September 4 2016  SUNDAY SABBATH POEM

 

OH TO BE MORE LIKE CHRIST

By Kathleen Martens

September 4, 2016

 

Let heaven fill your thoughts

As you gaze into the sky.

All because you are alive

Since Jesus chose to die.

 

Set your sights on rich treasures,

Slow down and do not hurry.

Do what you do, all for Christ

And don’t take time to worry.

 

Know that through Christ

Your eternal spirit lives.

Desire not what the world has,

Rather focus on what God gives.

 

For when Jesus does return

You will share in all his glories.

Leave sinful and earthly things

So you can share His erternal story.

 

Turn away from evil desires,

And choose life instead of death.

Sexual sin, impurity, and lust

Take away life’s eternal breath.

 

Do not worship what the world offers,

For idolatry it will become.

And your real life is in heaven above,

Abiding with God, and Jesus Christ His son.

 

Get rid of anger, cursing and hatred,

And no foul words speak.

Get rid of every single lie

AND GOD’S WORD DESPERATELY SEEK!

 

Live not like your “old” self

Because you have been made anew,

When you accept Christ as Lord

You see from a different view.

 

You will desire to be

More like Christ in every way.

Do everything as unto Him

On every single day.

 

Because Jesus created new life

He lives within those who believe.

When you strive to be more like Christ

He will teach as you receive.

 

Whether a person follows Christ

Is the only thing that matters.

He will keep you during your storms

So your heart is not in tatters.

 

Practice being tenderhearted and kind.

Show mercy and love to others.

Suffer quietly and patiently,

Extending love to all brothers.

 

Be gentle in spirit

And always ready to forgive.

Remember that God forgave you

So with Him, you will live.

 

And choose to have

A grateful heart

By giving thanks for everything

BEFORE each day starts.

 

Let God’s word enrich your life

And cherish the Sabbath of Sunday rest.

And never shirk the work you do,

But deem to always do your best.

 

Allow love to guide your life.

Allow God’s peace to be ever present.

Abide in Him and He abides in you.

You are the reflection of His essence.

 

The above Sabbath poem written tonight is inspired by a sermon I heard today on Colossians Chapter 3.  I have used some scriptural terminology and phrases.  In no way do I wish to misconstrue that my poem is “scripture” itself; rather that the poem was definitely influenced by what was written in the Bible’s text as well as the sermon I heard today at church spoken by Pastor Greg Pechacek.  By the way, it was a great sermon!  To hear the sermon go to:  www.citychurchonline.org 

I have included Colossians Chapter 3 below:

 

“Colossians 3: 1-17 New King James Version (NKJV)

Not Carnality but Christ

3 If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. ² Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. ³ For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.⁴ When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.

⁵ Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. ⁶ Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, ⁷ in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them.

⁸ But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. ⁹ Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, ¹⁰ and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who created him,¹¹ where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcised nor uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave nor free, but Christ is all and in all.

Character of the New Man

¹² Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; ¹³ bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. ¹⁴ But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. ¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. ¹⁶ Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. ¹⁷ And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.”

Saturday September 3 2016  MEMORIES IN THE MAKING

What an interesting journey I am on.  It all began when I volunteered to create photo albums for my sister Faith from the all the pictures my mother had collected throughout the years.  After I took all the photos out of the albums that were causing the photos to deteriorate, organized them into family groups, and purchased all the supplies needed to archaically protect them, I set them aside due to life circumstances.  It is only when I realized the time it would take to do the photo albums would not just mysteriously appear as a gift, that I decided I would need to set blocks of time aside purposely to complete my promise.  Once I began the design phase my whole being became invested in the outcome of creating a beautiful presentation of these old photos.  And then I decided I needed to update the biographies of my mom and her siblings, and then…so on…and so forth, I became more involved emotionally with the project.

It took a long time for me to actually be able to agree with what other people have told me for a long time, that I am an artist.  I never thought of myself in those terms.  Perhaps they are referring to the clutter I work in.  Aren’t all artists a bit scatterbrained?  I have come to terms with the fact that I am an artist, I love design work, I love color, I love to create, and I get emotionally involved with whatever I am creating.  I love to create beauty for others to enjoy; beautiful photographs, beautiful words, beautiful albums, and all just for the joy of creating it.  The scripture says we are created in the image of God.  Was not God the ultimate creator of all beauty?  Then why should it surprise us that we too are meant to create.

Once I began to design the pages in earnest I became ensconced in what I was doing.  It has been a long time since I have been able to work with paper and cutters, pen and ink, and blank white pages.  My design work the past 10-12 years has been digital.  I enjoyed that aspect of designing but not nearly so much as I love working with my hands.  My hands are slower, a bit clumsier, and I probably work a bit longer to do what I used to do so quickly, but my heart is still in it.  For me to do this job is actually a gift given to me.  It may take awhile to complete it, but I know I can still do it. 

As my hours shift over to working on the design layouts I must cut hours from other things I also love to do.  One is writing my blog.  I will continue to write my blog as writing is food to my soul.  However, I do plan to curb the hours I dedicate to it daily.  Starting in October I plan to write three blogs a week.  That will free the other days up for me create the albums.  I am still far behind in having my house and studio de-cluttered and that must also take priority.  I will continue indefinitely with fewer blogs so I can work on all the personal writing relating to books I am trying to finish.  I have a lot on my plate and my years are slipping by so quickly.  There are some things I want to complete before I leave this earth; the main one is to maintain as close a relationship with God as possible.  When I am so busy I am unable to spend the time I need with the Lord in order to fulfill my calling in life.  My calling is to help as many people as I can along the way.  And that takes time to do.

Retirement to me is not just a lot of fun and games and lazy days.  Oh, I have a few of those too.  But I have found that retirement for me is to fulfill all I can do to give myself to others so that they will be able to make a connection to the one who loves them most.  And that connection is with the God of the Bible.

Thank you faithful readers; I hope you continue to read when I am publishing less frequently.  I enjoy your comments, negative or positive, and only hope that my words touch places in your life that will cause you to seek God more.  There is actually a sadness in my heart as I type these words, knowing that the greatest discipline for me will be TO NOT WRITE EACH DAY.  Just between you and me, I will still be writing some, but it will be long hand in my journal and written to the Lord as well as the thoughts the Holy Spirit imprints upon my heart.  Maybe someday you will get to read those parts in the book I hope to publish someday.  A dream is just the thought of doing something; it becomes a goal when you have a timeline.  I am setting that timeline in motion and must persevere.

I will continue to keep you updated on the saga of the albums.  Today I will let you have a glimpse into the messy “artist’s” room where I create.  It may look cluttered but I know where everything is.  And…it is all accessible because of my swivel stool.  Everything I need is within reach.  It is a great convenience for me.  I must get up occasionally to get fresh paper but even that is usually within reach.

Oh, by the way, perhaps I will discipline myself enough so that I can post my daily poem on the blog.  That will keep me current in logging the poety I write daily into my computer.

 

IN SMALL LITTLE DOSES

By Kathleen Martens

September 3, 2016

 

Life is so busy

So many choices to make.

If I could just go without sleep,

I’d have more hours awake.

 

But that is not to be,

For I need my rest.

So with the hours I have

I must do my best.

 

And though I do all I can

Life is such an unknown,

I cannot take for granted

That tomorrow I own.

 

So I use this day

By making good choices,

And quiet world’s clamor

And all of its noises.

 

Every hour is important

Because what I do today,

When tomorrow arrives

The work is not in the way.

 

And so I find

As each day closes

I accomplish great feats

In small little doses.

 

So I keep on, keeping on

With hope in my heart

That never a day comes

That I have no work to start.

 

Because to be busy

Doing the Lord’s work

There are never lost hours

In which to shirk.

 

Because everything done

Is as unto the Lord

And my hours are His

So no time I hoard.

 

I relinquish to God

Every hour I live,

And accept as a gift

Every day He gives.

 

Thank You God for helping me make difficult decisions.

Thank You for this day of life.

Thank You that I have the opportunity to see my grandchildren this afternoon.

Thank You for Your love Lord.

 

HAVE A GREAT DAY AND GOD BLESS YOU!

 

 

 

 

 

Friday September 2 2016  AUTUMN’S REMINDER

The first hint of fall was felt this morning as I headed out the door at 6:15 a.m.  I had an early appointment to have an MRI scan on my knee that was injured when I fell.  Hopefully the results will say that my knee is intact and just needs more time to heal.  I do not want to have any more surgery in my life…EVER!

 

MY SUMMER FRIEND

By Kathleen Martens

September 2, 2016

 

Crisp and cool air

Exploring here and there,

Beneath my dress

I must confess.

 

Morning light

So beautiful and bright

With sparkling brilliance

Showing life’s resilience.

 

A moment in time

To claim as mine.

Serene and calm

A refreshing balm.

 

Though the end is near

Summer is still here,

And while autumn calls

I’m not ready for fall.

 

So I will enjoy

The hours I employ,

Taking pleasure in

My summer friend.

 

I hadn’t meant to write a poem so soon but it just came as I thought back over the beauty of this cool morning.

I still have some contacts to make before my family series can be completed and I haven’t had the time to spend on the phone.  It will happen so please don’t give up.  I’ll send out a notice to my family members when they are posted.  

It was brought to my attention that someone took me seriously when I stated in a previous blog, ” Who knows, maybe I’ll start doing a little research into my cousins next.  Might as well get it all on paper for the future generations to read.”  Truly I was kidding!  If you knew how many cousins I have it would take me forever to probe and pry to get the information needed.  It is never my intent to use this blog to gossip or hurt anyone intentionally or unintentionally.  Sorry cousins,  if you thought I was serious you won’t be getting the scoop from me.  However, I will admit there are some pretty interesting stories out there walking around!  I don’t follow face book but from what I’ve heard about that particular media you can always find out something new about most anyone.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I barely have time to live my own life,  I can’t keep up with hundreds of other lives.

Someone once asked me why I write my blog.  To be truthful it is simply a daily journal of thoughts and reflections of my past as well as capturing the experiences of my life as I grow old.  I hope it will be a keepsake for future generations.  

I began writing my blog when I left on my extended trip last year.  I thought I would stop publishing it when I returned home.  I had enough feedback to know that those who read it wanted me to continue.  So, I changed the direction of my travel blog to a daily journal.  I enjoy writing and choose to write whatever comes to me when I sit down in front of the computer.  I have approached the series about my family a bit differently and I find it is a lot more time consuming to be an investigative reporter.  I look forward to finishing the series so I can once again share my thoughts with others.  Even if no one reads my blog I would still write it for myself.  I especially enjoy sharing my poetry with others.  

I discovered that I can write poetry while typing and that was a new experience for me.  However, typing poetry and writing it long hand has definitely developed two different styles for me.  If you take time to read some of the older poetry I am beginning to post you may notice that it appears to have taken more thought to compose.  When I wrote long hand it was written during my quiet time with the Lord.  I still do long hand writing of poetry in my journal but do not usually include those poems in the blog because of the additional time it takes to type them out.  It is quicker for me to write another poem on the computer than to type one from text.  Since I have many poems already in the computer I am choosing to share those with my readers.  Eventually I hope to get the all of my poetry transcribed and edited so they are backed up with an online backup system.  It seems like an unending job and takes a lot of time because I edit as I type (AND…IT’S HARD TO READ MY OWN PENMANSHIP).

 

Thank You God for the beautiful summer we have had this year.

Thank You for all the rain we have had that made the crops so productive.

Thank You Lord for the fresh breath of cool air this morning.

Thank You too for my poetry that I wrote in the past that I can now share with my readers.

 

I recommend that you read the following poem out-loud; stopping at periods, pausing at commas.  The meaning will reveal itself to you.

 

THE INTIMATE ADVENTURE

By Kathleen Martens

September 2, 2010

 

We all have a secret life, known only to ourselves.

We have the part we display, and the private “we” on shelves.

 

What do we choose to let others know?

What part of our life to the world do we show?

 

It is only God that knows who we are,

And nothing is hidden, neither glory nor mar.

 

Our relationship with God counts above all others.

He is the breath of life when the world seems to smother.

 

It is our choice, this adventure to embark.

For our life not promised to be a walk in the park.

 

“Adventure” is exciting, an unknown endeavor,

And this Adventure we’re on, can last forever.

 

An Adventure is stirring, often an experience of love,

And our greatest adventure offered by God above.

 

His way not always easy, but he asks for commitment,

And He is offering in return, a friendship so intimate.

 

The most private and personal relationship you’ll ever find,

He desires to be close, and gives love that will bind.

 

He becomes our private life, familiar, thorough, and deep.

He becomes our intimate friend, one forever to keep.

 

Our life is exciting as we spend time together.

He offers peace and joy, His touch like a feather.

 

We are His bride preparing to unite

In Holy Consummation, when our time is right.

 

Until then we take joy in knowing

 His countenance shines in us, and to others is showing.

 

No one else knows of moments we share,

Or the miracles we experience because He cares.

 

No one else sees all that we see

Through His bountiful gifts that are constant and free.

 

We are intimate friends and He cherishes our time.

My closest companion, and He is mine.

 

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND GOD BLESS YOU!

 

 

 

Thursday September 1 2016  OOPS!  RETRACTIONS NEEDED

Dear blog readers:

I misinterpreted some of the facts I wrote in my family biographies due to misunderstanding some of the information I received from others.  In the next few days I will be making some changes to a couple of the blogs.  When I have corrected the mistakes I will post who, when, and where you may find the corrections.  I apologize for any information that is not accurate.  I appreciate any and all comments from those who may question anything I have written and I will definitely follow up to correct any errors.

I still do not have some of the facts I would like to receive in order to finish the last two biographies.  Believe me I will be tuned in to making certain I have the correct facts!

I’m writing a short blog tonight due to my schedule.  I was listening to a sermon earlier today at the website: www.southlandchristian.org  which used the 23^rd Psalm as the text.  It is found in the series titled “PSALMS” and was recorded on July 17, 2016.  Well worth the time it takes to listen.  I wish I could just quote the sermon verbatim on this site but I must settle with just sharing the scripture instead. 

Another good source to go to for a more in-depth study is http://www.ccmodesto.com   Click on “Media”, then “Teaching”, and then click on, “Thru the Bible”.  Scroll down through the dates until you get to Psalms 23-25.  Click on it and it will open.  This study is more in-depth and very interesting.  I listen to different studies daily when I am at the gym working out.  I told Dave that I think that is why I like to work out so much; the speakers make the time fly by.

The 23^rd Psalm has always been a favorite passage of mine.  I memorized it as a child and it still lives in my memory.  When each verse is studied in depth, and when one knows what some of the words mean in relationship to the time in which the scripture was written, it gives an even deeper understanding as to what David was writing about.  The passage then becomes alive with new meaning.  I have had the opportunity to listen to this chapter being taught by many great Biblical scholars and it seems I always learn something new each time I hear it.

Perchance you are not familiar with the Bible or the Bible translations I have included.  I do hope you read both translations through to the end.  Listen to each word, each sentence, and perhaps even check out the above websites to learn about what the text means.  Some of the words used in the text take on an entirely different contextual meaning when you understand the nuances of sheep and the importance of a shepherd in their lives.  Words like “righteousness” may be a foreign word to you, as well as is perhaps the phrase, “the shadow of death”.  How do a rod and staff “comfort you”?  What is the significance of a rod and staff in relationship to sheep?

And where, and who, prepares “a table before you” and “who are your enemies”?  Why would you want oil poured all over your head, especially if you were a sheep?  And where is “the house of the Lord”?  And how long is “forever”? 

David wrote this Psalm during a dark, dreadful, and sorrowful time of his life.  When you understand the depth of what these few scriptures mean it may whet your appetite to delve deeper into the amazing truth, knowledge, and wisdom of this amazing book known as The Holy Bible.  I cannot, nor should I go into depth to explain these 6 verses because I am so not prepared to extract all the truths that are written in this short chapter.  I do recommend that you search this passage out for yourselves.  Before you read Psalm 23 ask God to open your eyes to the truths He desires you to know and understand.

Following are two translations of Psalm 23:

 

Psalm 23 New King James Version  (NKJV)

A Psalm of David:

23 The Lord is my shepherd;

I shall not want.

² He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
³ He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.

⁴ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
⁶ Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

 

Psalm 23 The Message Translation (MSG)

23 ^1-3 God, my shepherd!
    I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows;
    you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
    you let me catch my breath
    and send me in the right direction.

⁴ Even when the way goes through
    Death Valley,
I’m not afraid
    when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
    makes me feel secure.

⁵ You serve me a six-course dinner
    right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
    my cup brims with blessing.

⁶ Your beauty and love chase after me
    every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
    for the rest of my life.

 

 INSPIRED BY PSALM 23

By Kathleen Martens

September 1, 2016         

 

I know the God

Who is my King

And He supplies

My everything.

 

He insists

I have need of rest

And His provision

Is the best.

 

He gives me water

From the purest hole

That I am refreshed

And restores my soul.

 

I am His

And He leads me right

For His namesake

Both day and night.

 

When I’m in the valley

Close to death

I need fear not

For He is my life and breath.

 

He has all I need

To come to my aid

And His strength

Never fades.

 

He prepares for me

A bountiful table

And my enemies

See that I’m able.

 

He pours his protection

Over my head

And gives me abundance

With nothing to dread.

 

His mercy and goodness

Are mine to own

And when my days are over

I’ll dwell by His throne.

 

And He has promised

That it will be forever, 

I will be with Him

Eternally together!

 

Thank You God for Your promise of eternal life in Your presence.

Thank You for Your scriptures.

Thank You for wonderful teachers.

Thank You God for knowledge and understanding.

Thank You Father for all the promises You have spoken in Your Word.

 

GOODNIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU!

 

 

 

Wednesday August 31 2016  WHAT TO WRITE?

A blank white screen stares back at me and I have absolutely no words fighting within me to come out!  I really haven’t talked all that much today but it seems I am fresh out of things to say.  So, I will write a poem and include some poetry I have previously written and you can have a night off too!  I hope you enjoy the poetry.

 

SO WHAT DO I WRITE?

By Kathleen Martens

August 31, 2016

 

So what do I write when I have nothing to say?

Perhaps I should just close the end of this day

Without searching too deeply into my brain,

And from unnecessary expression, simply refrain.

 

Or should I ponder a bit to find the right words?

Or perhaps just twitter like a little bird?

Maybe think nothing and allow thoughts to come

Whether serious or sad or about something fun?

 

Somewhere on my shelf way up in the sky

There should be a poem that would get me by.

So if I type long enough this page will be full

Even if the meaning doesn’t have much pull.

 

So rather than type and say nothing at all

From poems of my past I will simply recall.

I hope you enjoy what I will pick out for you,

And perhaps their message will ring true.

 

MY FAVORITE TIME OF DAY

By Kathleen Martens

July 29, 2013

 

Oh to awaken

To a brand new story

The beauty and sounds

Creating morning’s glory!

 

My favorite part

Of each day’s birth

When the rising sun

Kisses the earth.

 

Noontime comes

Ever too swift

And the brilliance of day

Cause my heart to lift.

 

It the very best

In my 24 hours,

By light and energy

I’m renewed with power.

 

Then afternoon comes

With cooling breeze

And the melodic lull

Of the honey bees.

 

My most ideal time

For a cup of tea,

A most welcoming place

I choose to be.

 

And then the evening

Bringing day’s end.

Each hour the day gives

Is My Favorite Friend!

 

I love them all!

Every moment I Iive,

Each moment that passes

A new gift it gives.

 

And then the next

That I like best

Is when it’s time

For bedtime rest. 

 

All are favorites

When in joy I receive,

For each moment God gives me

In Him I believe.

 

TIME TICKING AWAY

By Kathleen Martens

March 15, 2011

 

I sit in silent reverence,

Hear the ticking of the clock.

Time passing second by second

And I hear God’s gentle knock.

 

“I am present—I’ve come to speak.

Open Your heart to hear.

When you call out My name

I am always near.

 

I call you friend, I call you child.

I love you beyond all measure.

You come to Me and give Me time,

These hours with you such treasure.

 

Not only friend but Sovereign God!

Power of creation I hold!

As you worship and praise My name

I nestle you in My fold.

 

You cannot imagine My depth of love.

I died for you on the cross

So with Me you will be,

And Your soul will not be lost.

 

So gently listen to the sound

Of time ticking away.

Each hour that slips by

Means sooner with me You’ll stay.”

 

I HAD A LITTLE BOY ONCE

By Kathleen Martens

May 4, 2010

 

I had a little boy once

And my heart remembers so much

From the earliest fluttering in my womb

As well as the kicking and such.

 

Such a tiny baby born too early

With such a hope for life.

He struggled for each breath he took,

His beginning was filled with strife.

 

I had a little boy once

And I stroked his tiny feet,

His unseen eyes covered by gauze

To protect them from light & heat.

 

I had a little boy once

Who one day smiled at me,

With sparkling brown eyes

He found my heart’s key.

 

I had a little boy once

Who crawled, walked and played.

And he gave his heart to Jesus

At four years old he simply prayed.

 

I think back to that time in life,

Unending questions and happy smiles.

All those memories of time and space,

They seemed unending miles.

 

I had a little boy once,

Each day sweeter than the day before.

The days did not last for ever

And oh how I long for more.

 

I had a little boy once

Who at my table did sup.

But that little boy is gone now

He had the nerve to grow up!

 

HIS SONG BREATHES ALL

By Kathleen Martens

April 27, 2014

 

Worshipping My King

My heart does sing,

My words lift up

Above angel wings.

 

And the Glory of God

Received at His throne

All the love of my heart

That now is His own.

 

What I sing to Him

Is the return of His song,

 The song of His sacrifice

So to Him I belong.

 

The song of His love

 He sings in the night

And the bursting of glory

Awakens the light.

 

His majesty and beauty

Overwhelms my soul

As His song breathes all

That I need to be whole.

 

TO LIVE IN HIS GLORY

By Kathleen Martens

April 28, 2014

 

Children of worship

Children with song

A heart with melody

All the day long.

 

With lips of praise

Lifted on High

As on wings of eagles

To glory fly.

 

The heart bubbles forth

With pure delight

As strands of music

In heavenly light.

 

God the Father

The Redeemer His Son

Jesus our Savior

Is planning to come.

 

He will take us home

And finish the story

That we are His

To live in His glory.

 

Thank You Father that I still have thousands of poems to share.

Thank You Lord for the stillness in my heart tonight.

Thank You for Your peace.

Thank You for Your love.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU

 

 

Tuesday August 30 2016  A THANKFUL HEART

Hopefully I will never take for granted the country I live in.  Yes, we have major problems, everything from politics to mosquitoes.  And I don’t know which are more bothersome, the politicians, laws, and taxes, or the mosquitoes.  But one thing I do know is that we have opportunities available to us that many people in other countries do not have.  We have ample food available; anything from fine dining to food pantries.  We have education available from pre-K through the 12^th grade.  We have the very rich as well as those who barely scrape by.  We have social services available, most of us have a dwelling of some sort to live in, we have freedom to express “most” of our opinions, we still have the ability to protect ourselves with firearms, and we have heat and air-conditioning.

The unfortunate thing about living in the United States is that all too often we take everything for granted.  We see more, we want more.  We want more, we spend more.  And so many people go through their lives dissatisfied with where they live, what they drive, what they own or don’t own, how they look, how old they aren’t or how old they’ve become.  Where is the joy, where is the family support, where is the compassion?

Yes, I know I am getting older and of course all old people probably say what I’m going to say,  “What happened to the world I used to live in?”  What happened to the world where families were knit together and helped one another endure the hard times of life?  The world is no longer like it was when I was a kid.  And that is probably both a positive and a negative.  And I know my mother said the very same thing about her past.  And as I have looked back over the lives of my family who lived in my mother’s generation, and where they lived, and with the father they had, I think that maybe the change was for the better.  But that is only because I am looking through a narrow view.  I’m reading the biography of the first President Bush as told by his son, the second President Bush.  The second President Bush’s grandmother was born one year later that my grandmother was born.  That pretty much puts us in the same generation. 

As I think back over what my Grandmother’s life was like as a sharecropper’s wife living in the back hills of Arkansas, and then read about how Bush’s grandmother lived, it is like two separate worlds.  The Bush’s were extravagantly wealthy, tennis matches were their exercise, they never had to work picking cotton at the age of five years old, and I would imagine they never went hungry.  They were all highly educated whereas my mother’s family of 13 children had only one child that went to school long enough to earn a high school diploma and that was the youngest child of the family.  Does it make me angry or jealous or hurt because someone else had so much.  No.  Instead it makes me sad that so many people in my family and other families during that time suffered so desperately.  But when I step back and look from the perspective of what each of my mother’s siblings did with their lives, it fills me with joy to know that because of living in the country we live in, my family members were able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, set a different course for their life, and lived long and productive lives.  And the twelve surviving siblings were a tight knit family extending helping hands to each other.  Rather than being pulled apart, they pulled together.  That is a satisfying and wondrous accomplishment.  And where else could that happen but here, in the United States of America?

There are many countries where the citizens cannot change their status in life regardless of what they do.  I think of India and the caste system.  I think of the Muslim countries and the status of women.  I think of Africa and some of the starving countries where citizens never receive the food deliveries that are donated to them because the corrupt government keeps it for the “elite”.  So many atrocities, so much sadness, so many sorrows in the world and so many people who have no opportunity to better themselves.

I never want to take one thing I eat, own, or can offer to others for granted; even if it is just a listening ear, or a kind word.  I never want to take for granted the freedom I have of being able to drive to a grocery store and have food on the shelves.  I look around at all the options I have to choose from and I think of a photograph I viewed of a starving young child, skin and bones, sitting on dry parched land with a vulture waiting and watching in the background for the child to keel over and die.  I think of the American news photographer who took that picture and was so distraught when he came back to the United States because he couldn’t help the dying children.  About three months after he took the photo he took his own life because he could not live with the sadness and heartache he saw while on his foreign assignment.

People; open your eyes to the blessings that surround you.  Open your hearts to those who are less fortunate.  Make it a point to not complain because it’s too hot or too cold or the restaurant doesn’t have your brand of soda.  Instead, be thankful.  Be grateful for every little convenience, for the fresh air you have to breathe, for medical care which is available, for social services if you need them, and then look beyond yourself and help someone else who may be less fortunate.  Be thankful for the food on your plate and the bed you sleep in.  Be thankful for water that comes out a tap in the privacy of your own bathroom. 

Regardless of how much you have or do not have, look around and count your blessings.  Learn how to be content.  True contentment comes when you are satisfied with what you have, not when you get more.

Every time you hear yourself complain about something, stop, look inside yourself, and examine from where and why that complaint originated.  Then take stock of where you are, what you are doing, and what your opportunities are.  Instead of complaining, actually speak aloud what you have to be thankful for in that very setting.  And if you have a relationship with God you will find that you have so much for which to be appreciative.  And you may surprise yourself by realizing that after a while, the complaints may stop coming and your heart will be full, satisfied and content.

 

A THANKFUL HEART

By Kathleen Martens

August 30, 2016

 

Oh to give thanks

For every little gift

Instead of constantly

Always so miffed.

 

Just to be satisfied

To open your eyes

And be able to see

A delicate butterfly.

 

And to hear the sound

Of your child’s voice,

Or as you travel

To your place of choice.

 

To awaken at dawn

In the comfort of home,

For privacy and comfort

And the use of a phone.

 

Be thankful for food

That every day you eat,

Fruits and vegetables,

Desserts and meats.

 

Never take for granted

You have shoes on your feet

And be ever grateful

For air conditioning and heat.

 

Give thanks for a job

Where you can earn a living

And that which is available

To help others by giving.

 

Be thankful for friends,

For laughter and fun.

And for two legs

So you can jog or run.

 

There is just so much

When you look around,

Because you’ll discover,

There’s more to be found.

 

Every day is a gift

When you can get out of bed.

It means another day to live

Because you’re not dead.

 

So give thanks to God

With great intent.

Be thankful for what you have

And you’ll become content.

 

God, thank You for every blessing I receive each day.

Lord, thank You for all the wisdom You share in Your Holy Word.

Thank You O Lord for renewing my mind.

Thank You Lord for all the lessons You have taught me.

Lord, thank You for the grateful heart You have given me.

Thank You for the computer I am using.

Thank You Lord that You have shown me through Your Word how to have a thankful heart.

 

Colossians 3:15 (NKJV)

¹⁵ And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.

 

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18 (NKJV)

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU!

 

Monday August 29 2016  A PICTURE INTO THE PAST: GRACIE CEVOLA

Many of my grandparent’s children were either called by their middle name from birth, or chose to be called by their middle name at a later date in their lives.  I wonder why Gracie never chose to do so.

I called Gracie on the phone a few minutes ago.  Since I had spoken with a few others about her I decided to also give her a call.  It is difficult for me to realize that she is approaching 80 years of age.  I asked her how she was doing and how her husband Bob was doing.  She quipped back quickly with such fervency in her voice, “I don’t think I could live without him!  HE IS MY HEART!”  The way she said it; it made my heart melt!  I could hear her depth of feeling and the true love she has for that man who has stayed by her side these past 61 years.  And before I go any further I want to share a few things about Bob.  My facts are scant but it will make you realize what an man awesome he truly is. 

Bob was born in Southern Missouri close to Willow Springs.  He was born into a back woods family who did not hold education dear.  Bob went to school until the 4^th grade.  By age 4 he was scrapping for food wherever he could find get it.  Gracie said he would forage in other people’s gardens in order to feed himself.  His mother never stuck around long enough for him to get to know her.  Therefore his father raised Bob and his two sisters.  

Bob joined the Navy at an early age.  He made it to the top position as Senior Food Service and Senior Baker.  He was deployed many times and served on ships and at Naval Bases throughout his career.  

Each recipe card in his file was for 100 servings however, at times he cooked for up to 6,000 service men and he had to proportionately increase the recipe for the number he was serving.  By the time he retired he had 50 cooks and 200 mess men working under his supervision. 

I remember years later Bob reading from that recipe book and creating some of those recipes for 10 or 12 people.  His ratios were always right on.  He made the best donuts and cinnamon buns in the world!  He served on active duty for twenty years and was in the reserves for another ten years.  His last tour of duty was Naval Base Great Lakes in Chicago.

Bob could cuss like a sailor and I was told he did, until he met and married Gracie, who had an infant son at the time.  When he spewed his language in front of the child the first time Aunt Gracie pointed her finger at him, and in no uncertain terms, told him he would NEVER be allowed to use those words in front of her son again!  She said he never did.

Bob was, and still is, contrary, quick witted, and vocal.  When I was on the phone with Gracie this morning I could hear him in the background.  Listening to the two of them together is like living in the midst of a sitcom!  You can’t help but laugh, but in the same instant you realize they are sincere in how they banter, and their bickering is what puts a bit of spice in their life.  Their love for each other seems to reach deeper, just as it seems more powerful, than other couples I know.  I believed the words Gracie spoke when she said she didn’t think she could live without him.  And I think it is true for him too. 

My beloved Aunt Gracie; so much I could say about her.  I talked to some of her sisters recently and picked their brains for their memories of her.  My one and only Aunt Annie told me that Gracie was a child of endearment.  She was bright and talkative and curious, and life held excitement for her.  She wanted to learn and explore and converse.  She was described as a wisp of a child, with dark mesmerizing brown/black eyes, and long, thick, straw colored hair.  But she had one thing against her.  She was born to her Papa. 

She personally shared with me about some of the beatings she received as a child.  She told me about one incident when her Papa kicked her across the length of their kitchen floor.  She cried and cried and her mama told her to hush because she wasn’t hurt that bad.  She said she wasn’t crying because she was hurting, she was crying because she didn’t know why her Papa would kick her.  Her mama told her she was in the way.  And Gracie told me, “I didn’t hear him come up behind me.  He just kicked me hard instead of asking me to move.  That was what hurt so bad.”  Her Papa was a giant of a man.  He was a farmer who walked behind a horse or mule to till the land. He was a strong and formidable foe to a little wisp of a girl.  All her life Gracie has always looked like a big gust of wind would just take her to Kansas.

Gracie confided in me that somehow all except one child survived their Papa’s beatings.  She went on to say that she probably received a few beatings because she needed them, others even when she didn’t, and still others because she was so hungry for attention.  She had such a desire for someone to notice her that she was willing to get punished to receive that attention.  She once asked her mother if she loved her.  My grandma’s response to her was, “I love all my chill’ins”.  Gracie told me she just longed to be loved for being who she was.  She needed personal love.  And she searched until she found it.

From what I’ve been told, most of the girls married to get away from home.  I believe Gracie was 13 or 14 years old when she married.  She married a young man by the name of Raymond Eugene.  She had at last found someone to love her for who she was.  I believe she had a baby within the year and named him Dale.  When Dale was eight months old Gracie’s husband drown and she found herself in the predicament of being a widow without financial support.  Her younger sister Georgia’s fiancé also drown in the same boating accident.  It was a devastating time for all those involved.

Georgia still lived at home and Gracie moved back in as well.  Things were not going well with Papa in charge and Georgia went to Florida to stay with their brother Montgomery and his wife.  Gracie followed a short time later due to the stress filled home-life in Arkansas.  Gracie had planned to stay a bit longer with her parents so she could celebrate mother’s day with her mother.  However, she was informed that Eugene’s parents planned to kidnap Dale, and leave town with him.  She took the midnight train to Florida that night to escape the abduction of her son.  She was not able to stay for the Sunday celebration.

Georgia had already met some friends and introduced Gracie to a young sailor.  Gracie’s husband had died in March and in November of that same year she married her sailor man.  This year they will celebrate their 61^st Anniversary!

In 2013 Bob fell off a ladder from 14 feet high when it collapsed while he was topping a tree.  This fall changed his life.  He spent many months in a wheel chair with a broken hip and a crushed right leg.  He also broke a wrist.  Up until then, this extraordinary man in his eighties was taking care of their small farm and spring fed lake on their property.  He is limited now in what he can do.

When I go visit Bob and Gracie it is like walking back in time.  His property is beautiful and peaceful.  Their home is an older farmhouse with an unbelievable view.  Bob always cared for his land and was a great gardener and all around maintenance man.  The last time I saw Bob and Gracie was last year when I was on my long road trip.  My aim was to stop by and see all my family on the route I was traveling so I could once again visit with them and express my love and appreciation for what they mean to me in my life.  Each contact I made is a cherished memory for me.

Bob and Gracie’s oldest son Dale (adopted by Bob when Gracie and Bob married), died a few years ago from cancer.  Bob and Gracie had two more children and named them Sheila and John.  John is now 48 years old and has a two year old son.  He also has a daughter that was born to his wife in a previous marriage.  Gracie and Bob also have two other grandsons that are Dale’s sons.  Sheila did not have children.

When I talked to Aunt Gracie today she was alert, remembered me, and still has that charisma and fire in her passionate soul.  Her memory is declining but she is the same LOVABLE person she has always been.  And again, tears whelm in my eyes as I think about the beloved people in my life in whose footsteps I follow.  Gracie was always so gracious and kind to me even when I was a young child.  Though we are not very many years apart Gracie had to grow up a lot earlier than I did.  When she was fifteen she was a mother and all grown up in my eyes.  I was fortunate enough to go to high school, go to college, worked and supported myself, lived away from home by choice, and then met and married the man with whom I had fallen in love.  I did not need to marry out of desperation to get away from home as did my mother’s generation.  I often times wondered if my sisters did the same.  

There are still some things I want to comment about before I close.  One is that Gracie was extremely talented in both singing and acting.  She seemed to always have a song in her heart that escaped through her clear soprano voice.  I suppose it just came natural to her because I remember her songs from my earliest memories of her.  And secondly, she always felt passionate about life.  She had a tender heart and it was often bruised and painful due to life’s circumstances.

I always felt a connection between us even when I was five years old.  She talked to me like I mattered and gave me attention that I never received from my mother or most of my sisters.  She confirmed to me today that the reason she treated me so special was that she could see I had the same needs as she did.  We were both tail end children of a large family whose parents did not know how to give the little ones the attention they needed.  Love was not a commodity to be discussed or dispersed.  I had always wondered if my mother loved me and so wanted to hear her say it.  When I told mama I loved her, she would always respond with, “Me too” or “Okay”.  When I was five years old I had my first understanding of knowledge that there was a God that truly loved me.  From that point on I became closer and closer to the God who loved me for who I was.  And I knew mama loved God too.  What made me feel better was that I realized mama did know how to love because I knew she loved God a whole lot.  After that I never doubted again that she loved me, somehow I just knew she didn’t know how to  say it.  But remember, if you have read past blogs you may remember me telling you that I did teach her how to say “I love you” before she died.  After that she always said goodbye with an “I LOVE YOU” included.  And I still cherish having heard those words come from her.

REMEMBER TO TELL THOSE YOU LOVE THE SIMPLE, SPECIAL WORDS, “I LOVE YOU”.  AND FOLLOW THOSE WORDS WITH A BIG HUG!

Dear Aunt Gracie: 

I love you dearly and I hope I have shared your story so others will know what a truly special and amazing woman you are.  The details of your life would create a thick book so there is no way I can do justice to you or any of my aunts and uncles in these short (over-long blog) compositions.

Thank You so much for sharing your heart felt thoughts, your history, and the tidbits you told me about your sisters who I’ve yet to write about.  And I especially enjoyed our “over the phone hug” today.  I could just imagine your frail little body wrapped within my arms.  I felt your hug go all the way into my heart.  Thanks too for all the special memories we have made over the years.  Memories that may have faded a bit, but for the little girl I was, they still mean a great deal to me.  Bob, I love you too.  I especially love you for loving my Aunt Gracie so very much.  Like she said, keep living, because she doesn’t think she could go on without you!  Remember, your hearts beat as one!

Below is Gracie Cevola’s biography I wrote for our 2011 Family Reunion:

 

Gracie Cevola

Born 1937

 

Married: 

Raymond Eugene

Robert “Bob–her handsome sailor”

 

Children

 

Raymond “Dale”

Sheila Lorraine

John Keith

“What must first be said about Gracie Cevola is that SHE IS BIGGER THAN LIFE!  You are the heartbeat of fun and laughter.  Even though you are at a “mature age” in years, your spirit has forever remained the inquisitive, mischievous, stinker you have been since you were a little girl.  God just made you that way because He knew that our family needed some laughter and fun in our existence!  The spark of life that shines from your soul has always been a beacon of light to others in our family. 

Gracie we know you have had your share of difficult situations in your life to face.  Each time with God’s help, you have become the victor.  Gracie, you are the part of this family that sparkles!  Your bubbly personality is so infectious that it just draws people to you.  Your sense of humor brings smiles to so many faces.  Your candid remarks touch hearts with both laughter and seriousness.  You are such an amazing woman! 

Gracie was first and foremost a homemaker when her children were young.  Later she worked as a telephone operator in “plug in days”.  Then she worked for Wal-Mart and her last 15 years in the workforce was as a Bank Teller.  Now she just sits around all day admiring her handsome sailor.

Gracie, as with all your brothers and sisters you have been blessed with many talents.  The greatest may be your wonderful gift of GAB!  Though, you do not own the monopoly on that gift in this family.  You just happen to be the best at it.  Those of us who have had the chance to see you act in the theater know that you are an academy award winning performer!  What a great talent in acting you have.  Your vocal talent is also a treasure to our family.  And even though you have experienced deep sorrow in your life, you have been given a very special and unique gift; the gift of giving joy to others.  You are a joy giver!  And we are so blessed that you are part of this clan.  How can we even begin to tell you how special you are?”

 

Gracie’s Poem from 2011:

Gracie Cevola 

November 29, 1937

 

YOU ARE TREASURED MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW

Kathleen Martens

April 3, 2011

 

The heartbeat of laughter,

A beautiful little girl.

She had to keep so quiet,

The hardest thing in the world.

 

But she survived to adulthood,

A mother when not quite grown.

She had a hard road to climb

Through it all God’s love shone.

 

Her spark of life returned

After struggles and sorrows,

To give joy to her family,

And brighten all their tomorrows.

 

No other sister so endearing,

As she was as a little girl.

Her sparkle of life contagious,

She’ll give your heart a whirl.

 

Bigger than life and so much fun,

And such a charming smile.

You can hear it when she talks,

On the phone across the miles.

 

When we tell her she is special,

She seems to disbelieve.

If only she could know her worth,

Our heaps of love she’d receive.

 

So we take the opportunity to say

 “WE LOVE YOU WITHOUT MEASURE”.

In our family you’ve always been

“OUR RAREST, MOST SPECIAL TREASURE.”

 

“GRACIE’S FIRST PLACE AWARD WAS FOR:

ACTING AND THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL

WE WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU FOR YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR AND BRINGING JOY AND LAUGHTER WHEREVER YOU GO.

YOU ARE TREASURED MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW”

The above poem speaks my sentiment!

Following is today’s poem:

 

THREE LITTLE WORDS

By Kathleen Martens

August 29, 2016

 

This journey I’m on

As truth I seek,

Seems to cause

My eyes to leak.

 

To hear voices

I’ve loved so long

Of family members

To whom I belong,

 

What a joy it is

That fills my heart

To understand fully

The family I’m a part.

 

A part of the whole

With love stirred in

And within my family

I have many friends.

 

Love not expressed easily

With words hard to say,

To tell others of affection

So many delayed.

 

But as an old woman

I heard my mother speak

The words “I love you”,

As she kissed my cheek.

 

And even my aunts

And my uncles too

I’ve heard them declared

Those three words so few.

 

Three little words

So easily spoken

Took many years to say

From hearts that were broken.

 

But now they are heard

For I declare to all,

AND SAY I LOVE YOU

Whenever I call!

 

And I hear them back,

In sweet tender sound,

Because hearts have mended

And the words now found.

 

God, thank You for my family.

God thank You for the love You made real to a five year old little girl so many years ago.

Thank You God that I chose to say “I love you” to my children each day.

Thank You so much for my dear Aunt Gracie and Uncle Bob.

Thank You that I always knew I was loved by my sister Velma.

Thank You for cucumbers.

 

HAVE A GREAT AFTERNOON.

GOD BLESS YOU.