Thursday July 23, 2015  THE BEAUTY OF SEEING THROUGH NEW EYES

Tonight I asked Dave what was the best part of his day.  He replied that waking up with me beside him every morning and our time talking is always the best part of his day.  Boy!  Does my husband know how to make points, or what!  I said to take me out the equation and tell what was the best part of the day just by himself.  He responded that it was the time he rested in the backyard and just sat in his chair under the big oak tree looking out at the yard.  I think that is one of his very favorite thing to do and place to be.

Of course my question was loaded because I wanted to tell him what my best part of the day was.  Today I had a full body massage.  You might think that would be the best part of my day but it was not what popped into my mind first.  The very best part of my day was when I decided to tell myself to view the road I traveled as if I had never driven it before.  It is often the way we drive to church so I have traversed it for many years.  But today I used new eyes.  I looked at things like I did as I traveled the long hours across Montana and Wyoming.  When I drove through those states the beauty was so awesome I could barely contain myself.  Such raw and varied landscapes.  In some instances it was like I could see forever and in others the mountains loomed as giant invaders.  And because of the way I viewed my surroundings in these states it’s as if I can just conjure the visual memory immediately and it plays like a movie screen.  Well, today I used those new eyes again to see all that I have missed for years.  It is about a distance of 15 miles.  I wished I had had the time to stop every mile and just randomly take some photos so I could put them on my blog.  I was pressed for time so I could not stop.  I regret I did not snap some of the exquisite beauty of the morning light playing on fields and hills and barns and horses and cows and marshlands, rivers and lake, and unending views from the crests of the hills on which I traveled.  The memories are beautiful in my mind’s eye but lost forever to the world.  I could never go back and see again that which I saw this morning.  A new moment is always different than the last moment.

I suggest you take a look around you and think about looking through new eyes as you travel your beaten path.  Even better yet, take a new path.  When you look with new eyes I do believe God will open your eyes to things you have not yet seen, discovered, or enjoyed.  There is so much around us to give us pleasure but we so often are too rushed and too busy to see where we are.

The massage was a close second to the first.

WITH NEW EYES

By Kathleen Martens

July 23, 2015

The road we travel most

Is sometimes seen the least.

Take time to see with new eyes

Upon what there is to feast.

You may find it interesting

To see things you’ve never seen,

You may be surprised

How your vision is so keen.

See again as a child

Full of wonder and awe

When everything was always new

Not quite certain what you saw.

When you look with new eyes

Be ready to receive

All that God desires for you

Just because you believe.

Believe there is always beauty

To be seen in this darkening place,

And do not be in such a hurry

But slow down your rapid pace.

Open the eyes of your heart

For there is so much God wants to share.

And be thankful that you can see

Through His creation how much He cares.

************************************************

This was another jam packed day down to the minute.  I managed time for a car wash, to pick up my camera from the repair shop that I took in a couple of days after I arrived home, went to the grocery store, got back home in time to gulp a quick bite down, arrived at Dave’s medical appointment almost on time, came home and worked non stop for the rest of the day.  Yes, part of the work was on food stuff because this is the day of the infamous BOX.  The rest of the work was getting the house ready for the cleaning lady to come and clean.  Mostly had to put away things that have piled up from the trip, lack of time to sort, leftovers from the room clean-outs for the carpet cleaner.  Not everything is where it should be yet because of lack of time.  But…I’m getting there.  Of course I had to go out a visit with the neighborhood dogs, one which refuses to leave until I come out and love on him.  Murray is his name and he is the regal standard poodle that seems to know he is beautiful and requires personal attention.  I love him!  And then there is little Mr. Personality next door with his jutted out chin that can look ferocious without  even trying.  And we have a ladies pow wow of 5 plus 2 dogs.  We swat mosquitoes and then all rush back to our respective homes so we don’t get carried away.  And I come in and continue working until 9:30, Dave goes to bed and I start writing.  Actually, writing here on my little rickety table in my clean sun room is a highlight of my day.  I love the quiet, the dark windows as I sit two stories high and occasionally look at my little painted ceramic bird that peers over my computer.  And then I read my little calendar for July 23rd and this is what it says:

“On the wings of prayer

Our burdens take flight–

Our load of care

Becomes bearably light.”

And I ponder those words and know them to be so true.  I give to God all my burdens and He lightens my load.  If there is something gnawing me in my heart I turn it over to God and I know that He has everything in His care.  I am amazed at the lack of anxiety or fear or apprehension related to my upcoming surgery.   It is just another day I put myself into God’s hands.  It seems more like an inconvenience to me than anything else.  I know it is serious to go under anesthesia.  The unknown as to what will happen in surgery, will I awaken with a full mastectomy, will they find cancer cells lurking…?  It seems to me that I should upset or something.  I even asked God if there was something wrong with me because I don’t worry?  He just impressed in my heart not to worry about it!  So I don’t.  I just have to make certain to take my photo ID and my insurance cards with me.  I have no idea how much a surgery in a hospital facility cost, or the surgeon’s fees, the anesthetist’s fees, and all else that adds up but I received a call today from the hospital so they could tell me what expenses I would be responsible for and how did I want to pay it? I have never had that kind of call before so I found it quite interesting.  I simply told her we would pay it when we received the bill.  She said okay, she just had to know.  I kind of chuckled when she told me my share would be $52 and some cents. (That’s FIFTY TWO DOLLARS).  I could  have understood the phone call being necessary if I had to pay up in the hundreds or thousands, but for $52 dollars?  But I will say I was thankful and grateful that that is all that will be our share. What’s interesting is that our insurance changes on August 1 due to my husband’s retirement.  I am happy to know that for this surgery we have such good coverage.

So now it is night.

Time to go to bed.

Turn off the light

Lay down my head.

I thank God for this day

And for my tomorrow

That I walk in His way

With joy and not sorrow.

by Kathleen Martens

But before I go I have one more thing I wanted to say.  I have some wisdom I found today that I would like to share with you.  It is on the cover of the book that I spoke about yesterday, “MRS. WHALEY and HER CHARLESTON GARDEN” by Emily Whaley.  This book was published in 1997,  Mrs. Whaley was  86 years old (18 years ago) when it was written.  Her birth date was 104 years ago in today’s time.  I set this stage so you can see the era of which she lived.  The wisdom is written by Emily Whaley and I found it to be extremely interesting, probably true, and something I think we should all ponder as each year we are getting older.

Mrs. Whaley’s wisdom (quote from her book jacket):

“A warning:  Life is full of decisions and you better not waver and quaver over each one or  you will stress yourself.  You will die young and miss your seventies and eighties, which are two decades that can be a delight.”

I would  have like to have met Mrs. Whaley.

Wednesday July 22, 2015  A VARIED DAY

How do I start when I have so much I want to say?  Days are never the same.  How do we know what to expect when we rise?  I read once “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans!”  I think that is so true.  I’m a planner.  I make God laugh a lot.

Even when I don’t make plans it seems the day still goes differently than I thought it would.  But today I did have a plan.  As you know we had our carpet cleaned, which was no small endeavor to move everything out of the way.  I included a picture of my empty sun room after the carpet was cleaned another one after I got it put back together.  I left out most of the books I had everywhere and added them to my library stash downstairs.  Then, I included a picture of the put-back-together sun room.  Then I added a picture of my library, before I put all the extra books from the sunroom in it.  That picture was a brave step in keeping my persona of being organized.  I have books all over the house, hidden, in view, as door stops, as décor, as references, on shelves, in cupboards, in the kitchen (cook books), and in my book bag.  I love books and am probably reading parts of 20 or more at a time, depending on what I am studying or planning to speak on, or need an opinion about. As a matter of fact I found a perfect example of a book I will probably love to read.  I peruse books to see if I like a sampling of the author’s writing, style, sentence structure or what they are saying.  The one I perused today sort of sounded like it was me writing about me.  The title is: MRS. WHALEY AND HER CHARLESTON GARDEN by Emily Whaley.  I will quote the very first paragraph in the first chapter and then the closing lines of the first chapter.  I saw quite a resemblance to how I see myself.

p.3  “I was born with a trait I wouldn’t give up for a million dollars.  Enthusiasm. And I also have what the French call “joi de vivre”.  As my middle daughter, Anne, says, “My God, Cheeka, you have an opinion on everything.”  I think they get fed up with my opinions, but where can you go in life without opinions?”

P.6  “Also, I’m going to say something about my parents and growing up in a little village to the north of the city. And I’ll be giving out of a few of those numerous opinions, for what’s the good of having an opinion if you don’t share it with your friends and your wonderful daughters?”

I KNOW I WILL ENJOY THAT BOOK.  Unfortunately for those around me, I do have a number of opinions.  But most of them are right!   RIGHT??? SMILE!

So, when I am working around books I don’t get much done because they are all so interesting to peek into.  So please don’t be shocked when you see what my library looks like in the picture.  By the way it is already looking better.  Just don’t look behind the door!

During my organization skills being utilized my husband calls down to me that the little boy next door is missing.  So I joined the search party which consisted of his parents, Dave and myself.  I go through part of the woods and our back area.  Others are traipsing through their woods.  I volunteer to take my car and drive around the streets in our development.  Not very many street and not very many homes, and lots of places for little boy, probably following his dog, or the dog following the little boy, to hide away.  Unfortunately we are only a short way from a two lane, 50 mph highway.  As I drive to the top of the hill his mom was walkng up the same hill and we both spy him about the same time.  Well, I come home and it takes a while for them to arrive home.  I didn’t want to stay and be involved with whatever transpired from that point on.  Mom was very concerned and I thought she needed some privacy with her little guy.  The dog came home too.

A little later there is a knock on the door and the little boy apologizes for leaving, causing us to be concerned and worried, and having to look for him.  Now he didn’t say why he was apologizing but I deduced that was what the apology was for.  The problem is, he is so cute how can you be upset with a little guy like that!

So that was the first “interruption” to my day.  And by the way, I am always available for that kind of interruption.  I want our neighbors to know that they can count on us for anything.  Last year we had an elderly retired doctor who lived behind our property wander away.  He was missing for three days.  The neighbors and community created search parties orchestrated by the police and we combed the area, through cornfields, woods, along the roads, and everywhere else we could think of to search.  I was part of that search party too.  The search party was finally called off by the officials.  A neighbor across the highway has a daughter.  His daughter’s boyfriend was visiting from out of state and had brought with him a drone.  I can’t remember if that is what it is actually called, but it is a little “airplane” with a camera that you fly around and can spy on things.  The three of them, father, daughter and her boyfriend decided not to give up on the search.  They went searching the day after it was officially called off.  THEY FOUND HIM!  He was found about two miles from our neighborhood, on top of a hill, under some trees, barefooted and dehydrated in the middle of a cornfield.  He would probably not have survived another day on his own.  He has dementia.  He was hospitalized for several days.  But he survived because a neighbor would not give up.  The boyfriend just happened to be there with his drone without prior knowledge of the situation going on.  I believe God’s timing is wonderful!  The lost man’s shoes were never found.

While at the gym minding my own business, planning all that I would accomplish when I arrived home, I receive a phone call from a local hospital.  I am the area coordinator for an International Group headquartered in Denver Colorado called NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP.  This is a group of professional photographers that volunteer their time and talent to respond to calls from the hospitals to take photos of babies that die at birth or soon afterward, or who must be taken off life support systems.  It is the most difficult and challenging endeavor I have ever been involved in.  Well, there was situation that needed a photographer and I am first in line to call.  I am actually on temporary leave from taking the calls due to my trip and my upcoming surgery.  But, I knew I could not say no.  I went home, changed, prepared my camera equipment (just this morning something prompted me to charge my professional camera batteries and get my equipment ready for use).  I had not touched my professional equipment since before I left on my trip in March.  Oh my, that camera felt so heavy after handling my “little” red camera for the past four months.  Thank the Lord that I had battery power and everything was clean and packed in my backpack.  My red camera is not used for my professional work.  I believe it was the Lord who prompted me to be ready.  It was a very difficult session.  I did not cry.  Until it was over.

As I walk out of the elevator, tears streaming down my face, my heart broken for the parents, and so sad from seeing their raw pain during this difficult time I stepright in front of an angel.  A lady from church, compassionate and caring, and with the demeanor of an angel, was there to comfort me.  How is that for God’s timing?  Debbie (lady from church) was coming for a joyous cause.  Her daughter had a beautiful healthy daughter born on Monday and she was coming to stay the night with her as she recovered from a C-section.  We talked for quite a while and my tears were dry when I left.  My heart is with the parents through this night for it is tonight when they will turn off the life support system and hold their beautiful baby as it breathes its last breath.  You can google Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and read about the association and how to donate to this cause if it is something you would like to support.   I am honored to be a part of the photographers doing this work.

And it is way past my bedtime.  No poem written.  No time to be with the Lord personally today.  I did receive time for praise and worship through my study time at the gym with my headphones tuned to Modesto Calvary Chapel.  I listened to another sermon on Proverbs and worshiped in my heart with the worship music.  I always feel like I’ve been to church when I walk out of the gym.  It makes me want to go and work out.

GOD’S TREASURE

By Kathleen Martens

July 22, 2015

My heart feels grief not my own

I take it to Jesus, lay it as His throne.

A parent’s heartache, a lifetime to last

Sorrowful hours that never go fast.

What can I do to ease their sorrow

When I will not be in their tomorrows?

What can I say to make it better

When pain becomes a heavy tether?

Empty arms speak louder than words,

Empty sympathy often not heard.

What is it that I can give

To make it easier for them to live?

Memories so few with time so short

In looking back how will time sort?

No baby to hold or suckle to breast

No peace of mind to give rest.

But one gift that I can offer

Is something tangible in their coffer.

A visual memory of a few precious hours

That will outlast the most beautiful flowers.

The moment that was, but is no more

For their baby, death closed the door.

But the likeness they will hold?

A simple photo, more valuable than gold.

It will never take the place of their beautiful son

Who will never on earth be able to run.

But I know in my heart He will have much pleasure

For in heaven He will be God’s treasure.

I leave you with a poem that allows me to give tribute for a little life that lived three weeks and is no more.

Thank you for listening to my heart on this “Varied Day”.  This too is the Day that the Lord has made!  And I give thanks for this day of life I have experienced.

Remember to always give thanks to God for all you are and all you have.

Tuesday July 21, 2015  MAKING PROGRESS

Slowly, slowly we are making progress.  Dave is progressing in his healing and we are both progressing in our stand to reclaim our house!  You saw the pictures last night of the kitchen eating area packed full of “stuff” from the sunroom.  Well about 90% of that accumulation is now back where it belongs.  However, anything that felt like clutter I did not put back in.  It is still in the kitchen floor awaiting for my footsteps to carry it downstairs.  We also have our dressing room about 95% back up to snuff.  Again, the “stuff” of clutter did not go back in.  At least that is a start.  I included pictures tonight that shows our sun room put back together.  I enjoy my sun room (Dave never uses it because the furniture is wicker and he doesn’t trust it and besides, it has no television).

Today Dave and I each made a list.  We made a list separate from each other, no discussion first except to know what kind of list to make.  We were to make a list of all the tasks around the house that needed to be accomplished to make our house uncluttered and easy to live in.  Well, we did just that.  He wrote his list, I wrote mine.  We were curious to see how many of our “jobs” would overlap.  Dave wrote down 19 on his list.  I wrote down 36 on mine.  What we truly found surprising was the fact that neither one of us overlapped on any jobs.  Each list was unique unto itself.  It was quite enlightening to see how each of our minds work when thinking about what needs to be done.  And the really good thing about that is that we were both 100% right!  All the jobs need to be done!  Most of his list were things that he would probably do by himself just because of the nature of the job.  My list was jobs, which I hoped he would be available to help me with, all pertained to the inside.  Some things on my list were personal only for me but a lot could be shared.  Isn’t it wonderful how two minds can so compliment each other.  If only my jobs were accomplished, by the time I was finished, the outside of the house would be falling down or at least in bad shape.  If only his jobs were accomplished he would find that the inside of the house would probably be uninhabitable.

My list was mostly about the order in which I wanted to go through rooms and closets and cabinets, etc.  His was about cleaning up the yard and trimming the trees in the woods, and cleaning gutters and power washing the brick on the house and the terrace.  It was an eye opener to us both.  Oh man, I don’t ever want anything to happen to him.  There were a lot of other priorities on the list but mostly it was as I stated above, me – house, Dave – yard.

Hopefully by the time I go into the hospital the main level will be clean.  But boy you should see the lower level.  We have about 2200 square feet on the upper level and about the same on the lower level.  The lower level is a bit larger because if has shop under the garage and sun room that is about 20X40 feet.  That is a big job for Dave just keeping the shop orderly and up and in running order.  A couple of years ago we rented a dumpster that was 10 feet wide by 20 feet long and 4 feet high.  We filled it to the very top from shop accumulation.  And we could probably do it again.  We are so excited to both be able to focus on what we have long had to overlook due to our busy schedules and long hours at the job.

I have really arrived at knowing in my heart that I really do want to be retired from photography.  It was a long road to retirement (3 years) and now that I have made the commitment in my heart, it is standing the test of my decision.  And though I am not finished with the wedding work, another wedding, and one last newborn session, (I finished the high school senior work).  I am still beginning to FEEL like it is true.  I think that is because Dave is home now with me every day.  I love having him home.  I just asked him if he liked having me home during the day.  He said “Yes”.  I asked him what he liked most about me being home.  He answered “I just like you being around”.  I’ll guess I’ll have to settle for that.

I truly think I am making better decisions about our retirement together, expectations, behaviors, the closeness and such because of having gone on my trip and talking to so many couples who are living in retirement together.  I watched and observed and found there were so many interesting pointers I picked up.  I so much want our ending years together to harmonious and loving and fulfilling to both of us.  I don’t want to bicker and backlash at each other because of the close confinement.  I desire freedom and I desire for Dave to have the same freedom.  He knows he has an independent wife and has always supported me in anything I wanted to try, or do, or places I wanted to go.  I see so many other couples living around me who do not have that freedom in their relationships, especially the women.  I don’t know what it would be like if my husband demanded me to be home to fix his lunch or for any other reason for that matter.  That would drive me crazy.  We have a master calendar and all our appointments are coordinated on that calendar.   If I am going someplace for the day or an extended time it is always on the calendar so Dave know what to expect for safety reasons.  Likewise for him.  We plan outings with each other (right now it is all Doctor appointments for Dave and now me with surgery coming up) but it is a plan that seems to work for us in our limited experience.

I just feel so blessed by God to have my husband with me after all these years and to have the husband I have.  There is no one else in the world I could imagine spending the rest of my life with.  I hope that all of you who read this blog and still have your spouse would feel that way about each other.  I think what makes it all so wonderful is that I have such peace and joy in my heart that comes from the Lord.  When God is the central part of your marriage, life is so much more pleasant than living in the “world’s way”.  I am listening to another series from Calvary Chapel Modesto.  I am listening to the book of Proverbs.  Proverbs is one of my most favorite books in the Bible.  I think I have worn that book out in my Bible from reading it so often.  If you haven’t really read and studied it, do  yourself a great big favor and get it out and study it verse by verse.  Better yet, go to the website and listen to the teaching on Proverbs from Calvary Chapel Modesto.  New insights and understanding are revealed to me daily through this teaching.  I can barely retain my excitement knowing that I have the entire Bible to go through with this teaching.  I can’t wait to listen to them all.  It makes working out at the gym something I really look forward to because that is when I listen the most.

Okay, if this blog is boring I am sorry.  For those of you who have asked me to continue to write a blog just know that you will be reading about the mundane and ordinary happenings of someone who is getting a little older each day.  I didn’t climb any mountains today but I will tell you that I am more tired than I ever was when I was climbing the mountains in Washington and Canada.  This is hard work getting 4 months of dirt out of your house (much more so is getting 30 years of clutter out) and I’m not even doing it all myself.  My new motto is LESS IS MORE.  I am aiming for less.  Less stuff to dust, less clothes to wash, less clutter to work around, less of everything. (Except books)!  Remember, if I had a bucket list it would have one desire.  I would like to read every book I own before I die.  And my library is extensive.  Books are my downfall and since I have run out of shelf space I am having to be creative when it comes to where I park them.  Right now, that 10% of the sun room that I didn’t get put back, are stacks of books on the kitchen hallway floor to be taken downstairs.

We have plans for a larger library but I must first sell all my studio equipment.  That was one of the things on my list.  We have given a priority of order to what we are doing so we can get certain things accomplished before the cold weather comes.  I’ll go into more of that later if anyone is interested.  Here in Wisconsin all things are seasonal and the weather must be taken into consideration.

I think of so many interesting things to tell you as the day progresses and then by nightfall all my thoughts of the day have seemingly gone to bed.  And to bed I must follow.  Another busy day awaits me tomorrow.

WHAT AWAITS TOMORROW?

By Kathleen Martens

July 21, 2015

What awaits tomorrow

I never truly know.

But God has a plan

When it’s time He will show.

I need not worry,

Nor do I fret.

I follow my schedule

And try not forget.

I live each day

One moment at a time.

It is truly the only way

To live a life sublime.

No matter if there is struggle

Or things don’t go right,

God is in total control

Regardless of my plight.

Never do I need fear,

For perfect love casteth out

Leaving absolutely no room

For even the smallest doubt.

When I arise at daybreak

It is the day the Lord has made.

I will rejoice and be glad

For my life He has paid.

He ransomed me from sin and death

As on the cross He died

He is the Savior of my soul

The one who was crucified.

So as I await tomorrow

I’m not promised it will come

But one thing I know for sure

If it doesn’t I’ll be with God’s Son.

And what better day

Could there ever be

To awaken alive in heaven

My Savior’s face to see?

Well, I didn’t mean for that poem to be so long but it just kept coming.

Enjoy each moment of your life for it is part of eternity.

Love to you all!

Sunday Sabbath  July 19, 2015  AN EMAIL AND A RESPONSE

When I sit down at the kitchen counter each evening to begin my blog I always check my gmail.  My charter.net accounts only get checked about once a week or so.  Well tonight I had an email from my cousin Joyce.  I stayed with Joyce, who lives with her daughter in Redding, while I was on my trip.  I had a time with her like I had with no other.  I was at her home longer than anyplace else I stayed.  Some places I was only able to stay one night due to my delayed departure and the fact that I needed to be in Redding at a certain time to attend a weeklong conference.  I didn’t see much of either cousin during the first week due to the strenuous schedule we had during the class days.  Before I left on my trip things were a bit hectic due to a medical condition that came up and postponed my trip.  Because of  the doctor visits and unplanned situations that arose I was not able to book the second part of my trip because I had no time to be on the phone or internet.  So, while at Joyce’s daughter’s house I made most of the rest of my reservations which was very time consuming to say the least.  I still didn’t get to spend much time with her on a one to one level.  But the one thing I did do was enjoy every moment we had together.  It was a time of renewing our past relationship, reminiscing, talking about our lives and our extended families.  Things are different when you are all grown up than what they are when you are children growing up as cousins.

I think I found in Joyce a “sister”.  Though I have 4 sisters, there was just a connection that I felt was more like sisters than cousins.  I so enjoyed every moment we were together.  While on my trip there were a lot of things that I mentioned to one person that I might not mention to another.  Things that just slipped my mind or didn’t seem important at the time, or just forgot who I had already told or not told.  I can’t remember if I told Joyce about the fact that I had to have surgery when I returned home.  Joyce reads my blog and I had mentioned having surgery and she sent me an email asking about the specifics.  The email was short and simple and could have been answered with two sentences.  But…just in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t answer anything in two sentences.

If you have read every blog you may remember me mentioning I was having surgery when I arrived home.  As I responded to Joyce’s email I was writing a personal account in a private email to an intimate friend (cousin) and did not mince words, but said it like it is.  After reading it I decided that because I wrote it unfiltered I would not be able to do it better if I had to filter it for the blog.  I asked my husband if he minded if I talked about my breast surgery on my blog.  He said no, not if I was comfortable with it.  He just didn’t want me talking about HIS BODY.

Just in case you didn’t know, WOMEN HAVE BREASTS!  There is always such a hush, hush about a woman having to have surgery on said breast.  Well, when you find out someone has a tumor, or cancer, or a mass, usually the first thing we want to know is where is it located in the body.  That answers so many questions as to how it will affect them, what will be done, etc..  Well, my two masses are located in my right breast.  As my story unfolded in the email I sent to Joyce I realized after I had written it that this is how I would want it to be told to anyone who knew I am having surgery.

First of all, before you read the email I want to state that I find it very interesting that I am sharing this part of my life.  When I had breast surgery three years agoto remove another nonmalignant tumor I only told two closest friends.  We didn’t even tell  our children until after the surgery and we found out it was nonmalignant.  Needless to say they had a fit!  I won’t do that again!  So instead, I’ll tell the whole world!  Well, at least to those who read my blog and that is probably less than 300 people.  So, with just a few minor changes in my email to leave out personal information I am sharing a private email I wrote to my cousin because I don’t think I could explain it any better than I already have.

Name: Joyce
Email
Comment: What is the date of your surgery and what are they doing?
I will be praying for good results and your speedy recovery.
So happy for Dave finally being able to retire.

Hi Joyce:

We need another long talk.  I so miss you!  I think I found in you another sister I would love to have.

Before I left on my trip (one week before my scheduled departure date) I felt a lump in my breast while at the gym.  I went to the doctor the next day.  He pushed me through the medical trail as quickly as possible because he knew I was planning to leave. I had to postpone my trip for one week while everything happened.  First I had a mammogram.  The mammogram showed that I had two masses.  One is where the previous tumor had been removed three years ago (a non-malignant growth) and the other mass is attached to my chest wall at the back of my breast near the sternum.  Then I had an ultra sound and this confirmed the mammogram.  Then I had a core biopsy and lead wires to the tumor locations were implanted in my breast at that time so the surgeon would have a wire that would show on the ultra sound during surgery to lead him to the right place.

I am scheduled for a partial mastectomy.  I will lose breast tissue inside my breast but my outer breast should stay intact, perhaps be less tissue inside so a bit lopsided or saggy.  However, due to the mass on my chest wall the surgeon indicated that though he was going to try to save my breast he could not guarantee it due to the fact that he doesn’t know what he will find when he tries to remove the mass on the chest wall.  If it is too involved I will have a full mastectomy of the right breast.  Since no cancer showed in the core biopsies the doctor gave me the choice to continue with my travel plans or have the surgery first, and delay the trip by several weeks.  He actually already had me on the surgery schedule.  I chose to go on with my trip and have the surgery when I returned.

My breast hurt off and on during my trip and was very sore.  The tumor close to the surface was the most bothersome.  I chose to not let it bother me and I was never worried or concerned about the fact that I would be having surgery when I returned.  I thought I told you about it while I was there.  Maybe I didn’t remember to tell you.  I just didn’t think about it often and had no worry about it.  And now the time has come.  One week from tomorrow I will either awaken with my breast intact or gone.  I won’t know until I awaken from surgery.  My surgery date is Monday July 27th. I don’t know the time yet.  I’ll find that out on Friday of this week.

Thank you for your prayers and for thinking about me during this time. One of the reasons I originally wanted to go on my trip is that I have three close friends who have been fighting for their lives due to cancer.  Each one is in the survival mode at present but two of them had very close encounters with death and fought a long hard battle.  I knew nothing about my two masses at that time.  I told Dave I wanted to see these lifelong friends before they died.  At the time I said it, two of my friends were very close to dying.  After I had my biopsy of the tumors, but before we had the results back Dave said  “I hope you aren’t going on this trip so you can see everyone before YOU die”.  It was difficult for Dave to go through the unknowing part of whether it was malignant or not. It was so good to get benign results back.  But, you know, when I think about it, if I had a terminal disease and it was going to take my life I think I would purposely go and see all the people I have loved through this life one more time if I was able to do so.

As I went from place to place and visited with so many people from my past, including family members, I realized that this very well may be the last time I see some of them.  Some are old, up in their 90’s, some are ill, some are so far out of the way I may never get that way again, but at least I had the opportunity to see those I loved one last time.  Some I was not able to see due to circumstances and dates not matching for a rendezvous.  Some I drove an entire day or more one way to see them.  It was so worth it to me.

Thank you Joyce for being so sweet and kind to me while I was with you.  You made me feel so welcome and so special.  I just want you to know I will never forget it.

You ask a couple of questions and you practically get a private blog.

Speaking of blog…I haven’t written one yet tonight so I better scoodle-doodle!

I love you!

Wanda Kathleen

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And that is the end of the email correspondence.

Now to the nitty-gritty of my day.  I have a lot to do before I am down for the count.  All that food that I keep receiving must be cared for and appreciated for its value.  Especially for its value of being fresh and organic and so healthy for us.  Also, I do not like to see waste.  So again, today on my Sunday Sabbath I spent my day in the kitchen.  My freezer is filling up and my refrigerator never seems to be less empty.  Today, with Dave’s intermittent help we cleaned the entire refrigerator out.  Cleaned all the shelves, and took out every drawer and sorted and cooked and ate all that could be eaten.  And my refrigerator is still overly full, but oh so clean!  And I thank God for the bounty He has provided for us.

Our neighbors have been so kind to us.  Since Dave has been sick our neighbor insists on mowing our lawn with her rider mower.  We have had so many offers of food for when I go in for surgery.  It is so amazing how wonderful our neighbors really are.  We are blessed to live on such a little street and have such great neighbors close by.  If you don’t know your neighbors go knock on some doors and introduce yourself.  I think people really do want to get to know their neighbors but don’t know how to go about it.  If the time ever comes and I have enough time to write the story about my neighbor who lived next door to us for about 27 or 28 years I shall do so.  It is a story so amazing that it has eternal results.

Well guys, I am going to do something I hope I don’t’ regret.  On the other hand, if I’m already thinking I’ll regret it perhaps I shouldn’t do it at all. What a quandary.  And Dave is already in bed and I can’t ask him for his opinion.

Before I left on my trip and surgery was discussed I went home from the surgeon’s office and wrote one of my “personal” poems.  I mean no disrespect to any who have suffered with breast surgery, cancer, or the quandary of what to do in that situation.  It is just that this is what came to my mind as I was thinking about being in that same dilemma.  I actually wrote a nice poem this morning during church service, pertaining to what the preacher was teaching on and then after writing the blog using my email to Joyce, I remembered another poem which I wrote on February 28.  I hope it will not taint your mind toward me.

I’LL STOCK IT!

By Kathleen Martens

February 28, 2015

What will it be like

To have an empty bra pocket?

Well, come to think of it,

With my sock I’ll stock it.

The breast of my youth

Where I suckled my son,

Now small and withered

When once they were fun.

Two bags of fat

To carry all around,

And now so small

They can barely be found.

But if it must go

To the Doctors I’ll give

If it will allow me

More years to live.

This following is what I wrote in my journal immediately following that poem:

“Lord, thank You for a sense of humor.  I think when I get to heaven I would love to hear you laugh.

Lord, what word do you have for me?

Psalm 63:3-5

‘Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You.  Thus I will bless You while I live.  I will lift my hands in Your name, My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips’

What a great scripture for this hour.

(Following are the heart sounds I received from the Lord following the poem and the above words)

I am your strong protection and I receive the praise from your lips as you honor me all day long.  I receive the song of love you sing to Me.  It is My song in you that comes back to Me as a sweet aroma.  Speak to others with your lips, with psalms, songs, and spiritual songs that your praise will combine to make music unto Me.  Regardless the circumstances clap your hands in joy.  When you are filled with joy, My peace will well up like a river.  I am light and in Me there is no darkness.  I will be faithful to you until the end of time for I have called you to be joint heir with My only begotten son.  That is how much I love you.”

Good night and have a great MONDAY!

(See!  At least I remember tomorrow is not SATURDAY)

Saturday July 18 2015  EVEN ON SATURDAY I CAN’T GET IT RIGHT!

TODAY is actually Saturday.  The real Saturday.  And I thought it was Friday.  But only once, and only for a minute.  Getting these days straight is like being on vacation without a calendar.  I think the only reason I actually followed the days right while I was traveling (most of the time) was because I wrote my blog each night and my computer has the date and time on the screen.  So at least once a day I knew exactly what the date was.  However, it doesn’t tell me the day of the week!

Dave has actually been home from the hospital for a full week now and we are getting used to retirement.  I actually think it will take a long time to get used to the idea.  Especially after I really do finish all my work.  I have my surgery a week from Monday.  That again will put me out of the norm.  Please pray for a speedy recover as I have out of town company on the following Sunday August 2^nd.   Our daughter’s birth grandmother will be coming to stay three nights.  Unless she reads my blog she may not know I have surgery scheduled.  I didn’t tell her because I really wanted her to come.  I absolutely love having her visit.  She has come every August for the past nine years.  We reconnected with Rebecca’s birth family at that time and have been included into their family with heartfelt love.  Rebecca has a wonderful relationship with her birth mother, two half sisters and half brother.  Her birth mom is Carole and she is married to my favorite composer, David Hollandsworth.  Rebecca claims him too has part of her family.

As I drove across country I can’t tell you how many times I listened to the CD’s that David wrote and performed.  When I put one of his CD’s in my player it seemed to synchronize to the amazing creation of God that I was viewing at that moment.  The grandeur of the mountains and oceans and desert and canyons and open sky seemed to beckon the musical symphony.  It felt like I was in a movie and the score had been written just for that scene.  It reminded me of the beauty of the music written for the movie GONE WITH THE WIND.  David’s music will forever mark the passage of the miles I traveled across big empty places, the high mountain roads, the unending desert land, the coasts of California and Oregon.  I listen to the music now at home and the visual memory of where I was pops up in my mind.  Some believe it is smell that evokes such strong sensory memory.  For me it will ever be TIMELESS, the last CD Carole sent me before I started my trip.  If you are reading this Carole I just want to say THANK YOU again for your beautiful gift of your husband’s music.  I so appreciate the gift you gave to me.

I say with trepidation (especially if my cousin Paulette is reading this blog) that today was another “food obsession” day.  I wouldn’t really call it “obsession”, but rather a WORK DAY.  I made over 16 quarts of two different kinds of soup.  Worked out early at the gym, came home and worked the rest of the day on the soups.  The only really good thing about it, is that I was able to get a lot of food out of my fridge and it went directly to the freezer when done.  A couple of jars made it back to the fridge for us to eat on tomorrow and the next day.  I worked hard, on my feet all day and now I have a good tired overtaking my body.  It feels good to be tired after a good days work.

I just want to share with all of you how amazing it is for me to listen to such excellent teaching from the church I told you about a few days ago.  Calvary Chapel Modesto has a media center that posts all the teachings that their pastors do.  I just finished listening to all the CD’s on Ecclesiastes. It was an awesome group of sermons.  I highly recommend them.  For the first time I now realize why and how Solomon wrote this book in the Old Testament.  I never could really figure it out before.  I enjoy listening to sermons while at the gym and before going to sleep at night.  When my husband and I awaken in the morning we listen to a CD together.  We are currently studying Matthew.  I actually plan to listen to the entire Bible series by Damian Kyle.

It’s 8:24 p.m. and I am falling asleep here at the computer.  My gift to the Lord has not yet been written so let me see what is in my heart tonight.

MY PERFECT LOVE

By Kathleen Martens

July 18, 2015

What is in my heart this hour

That I need know from my King?

Lord, please put Your wisdom deep within

So to others Your love I bring.

Let Your love shine from my eyes

Your countenance be on my face.

Take me Lord where You want me to go

That I am always in the right place.

I ask that God would use me

And He tells me to sit still.

He says, JUST REST IN MY PRESENCE

And allow your heart to be filled.

I ask what He wants me to say

And He says LISTEN THAT I MAY KNOW

It is not the words you speak

But the love to others you show.

I ask where He wants me to go

And He says just FOLLOW MY PATH

Stray not to the right or left,

And you will never experience My wrath.

I ask how I can reach out and touch

A life that is filled with pain,

He said FOCUS ON PRAISING ME

And that will be your gain.

I askm Lord, how is it I can know

Exactly what I’m supposed to do?

He said READ MY WORD

For that will get you through.

Fret not about all your tomorrows

SPEND TIME IN MY PRESENT.

For this is the now that lasts forever

And our intimacy will be pleasant.

And when your spirit is filled with Mine

You will have answers to questions above.

And then all I have called you to do

Will be accomplished through MY PERFECT LOVE.

Thank you for reading the poem God put in my heart this night to share with you.

Good night.

Friday July 17 2015  A DAY OF THANKS!

Why is July 17th a day of thanks?  I’ll tell you why.  Thirty six years ago today I gave birth to my son.  He was born two months early and things weren’t going so well.  He was transferred to another hospital to the NICU center.  His entire first year did not go too well.  But since we are celebrating his 36^th birthday you can conclude that he did survive.

Tonight when I hugged him I was so thankful that I have shared 37 celebrations of his life.  That he survived the first 24 hours was a great celebration!  We did not know if we would ever share another birthday with him.

As I hugged him I thought about the parents who this week lost an eleven year old son due to being run over by a car while he was riding his bicycle.  They only had 12 celebrations of his life.  I am so thankful for every day that my son has lived.  My heart so sad for all the birthdays the grieving parents will no longer experience.  Never take anyone you love for granted.  Every day is a gift.

Courtland and his family came over this evening for a birthday celebration dinner.  It is always a joy to have my family over so I can make food they like and share in the enjoyment of once again having my son at our dinner table.  On birthdays we like to tell stories about the birthday person.  It is a fun time and I always learn something new as I listen to the stories.  It is delightful to hear the stories that the three and seven year old tell.  The three year takes a story that someone else has told and enhances it quite a bit.  I think he even believes that what he says is true.  Tonight the seven year old told the story about his dad coming over and having dinner with us.  It was a very current story.

After the story time I asked each one to give Courtland wisdom they would like to share with him.  Dave went first and actually gave him the same wisdom I was going to share.  He told Courtland to never get too busy with all the things and hustle and bustle of life that he did not take time out to enjoy the everyday and ordinary things with his family.  He encouraged him to live in the moment.

So I had to come  up with something new.  My wisdom to Courtland was to not neglect his spiritual life.  To be certain he trained his boys in the way of the Lord and had them in church so it would become a way of life to them.  I told him to walk with integrity so that his sons would see his life walked out as a Christian Father.  I recommended that he walk the walk.

This morning on the way to the gym I stopped at a garage sale in my neighborhood.  It is a family I only know through our neighbor get-to-gathers.  The daughter just graduated and is going off to college.  I asked her what wisdom she had for others at this stage in her life.  Ashley’s wisdom was:  “Don’t sweat the small stuff”.  That may be a short sentence and one that we have heard many times over in our lifetimes but until you learn how to “not sweat the small stuff”  you don’t really understand how difficult it is to learn.  If more people could just learn that earlier I think the world would be a much friendlier place.  Thank you Ashley for your timely wisdom.  I pray that as you grow into full blown adulthood that you will remember these words of wisdom today and take them to heart.  You are already one step ahead of so many others in knowing this lesson of life.

DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

By Kathleen Martens

July 17, 2015

Sometimes it’s the little things

That turn into all the big.

Little misunderstandings

Cause us to dance a jig.

Maybe we should listen more

And really hear what is said,

And just sleep on what makes you mad

Instead of worry, just go to bed.

Think on what bothers you,

Mull it over in your mind.

In the morning speak your piece

With words that are kind.

Understand the other’s view

And listen as they explain

There are always two opinions

Do not hear their words in vain.

Give just thought to their beliefs

It will be different that’s for sure,

And when you do understand

Misunderstandings may be cured.

You will no longer suffer

From angry and malicious thoughts,

Because the small stuff is unimportant

In its struggle you’re no longer caught.

So…don’t sweat the small stuff

Place your focus on what is true.

Put your eyes on God alone,

Peace and joy will come to you.

Then the small stuff stays

Exactly where it should be.

Your spirit is no longer bound

By only what YOU see!

Well, I didn’t know that Ashley’s wisdom would by my inspiration for today’s poem.  And timely I think it was.  For you see, when I tried to publish this blog I did something incorrectly and lost everything except the poem.  I had to totally rewrite everything (except the poem).

It is late, Dave is asleep, so I will publish and go to bed.  Dave is slowly making strides toward healing.  I think he may have overtaxed himself today helping me do some things to prepare for tonight’s birthday celebration.  His leg is still painful and red.  His next appointment is Tuesday.  He is on oral drugs until then.  Please pray that healing will continue daily.

My first blog was quite a bit longer and more detailed.  Sorry for the “quick” version.

Good night and God bless you!

Thursday July 16, 2015  THE DAY IS NOT LONG ENOUGH!

No day is long enough!  No matter how early I get up, no matter how late I stay up, I cannot get done, in  one day, all I want to get done.  Does anyone else ever feel that way?  Why is that?  Are the days too short?  Or am I just slow? (Don’t answer that!) Or do I just have too much to do…or…have I arrived at that place in life where my body can’t cash the checks my mind writes?  That’s what Dave’s father used to say “My mind writes checks my body can’t cash”. He lived to be 101 years old. I now understand what he meant.  If you don’t understand, just live a few more years and you’ll find it true.  However, I think I’ll just keep writing the checks and let my body cash as many as it can.  I hope I never get to the place where I just want to give up.

Today is another one of those days of food obsession.  I have already cooked some from my farm box, cleaned some, put most of it in the fridge and getting ready to put the rest in the pot that’s boiling when it’s time.  And…I think there will be another box to bring in.   A big box packed full of corn on the cobb, green beans, beets, turnips, kale, baby salad greens (2 bags), huge head of cone shaped cabbage, zucchini  and yellow crookneck squash, cucumbers, Swiss chard, beet greens, a huge head of broccoli, another kind of green leaves, and a big fluffy head of lettuce.  That’s in the first box.  Then I have a greens share only box full of greens AND THEN…someone else left their box again tonight (usually someone is on vacation) and so I just brought it in and tried  to get it into the fridge.  Couldn’t quite make it so put some in a box in the garage, the cabbage, broccoli, and beets and greens.  So that makes a lot more work for me to do tomorrow.  Some I will give away if I have a chance.

I have already cooked a great portion of the kale and been greens and Swiss chard and now the turnips and beets are steaming on top of the “mess of greens” flavored with vinegar.  Coming from Arkansas we make what we call “pot liquor”.  Greens cooked down with a bit of oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, a touch of sugar and then put the turnips and whatever other root vegetable you have on top of the greens after they are cooked and let them cook until tender.  If you don’t know what “pot liquor” is good for, just ask me later.  I’ll tell you.  Just not on my blog.

We receive a box like this for 26 week.  The vegetables change with the seasons.  Then we receive two winter box delivers two weeks apart in October and November.  Each deliver can be between 3 to 6 full boxes with each delivery.  That is a lot of food.  I am not so much obsessed about eating the food as I am about working with the food.  I love handling fresh produce and creating delicious concoctions from what I get in the boxes.  I’ve been accused of eating weird.  I guess I like eating weird.

What happens in my day is what you get in my blog.  Today was food obsession day.  Also, ironing day.  Remember all those clothes I had in my car?  Well everything had to be washed and ironed.  So my ironing pile is now completed!  That is a good feeling because now I can wear anything I want.  And the best part, is that they still fit.  Can’t remember if I mentioned how much weight I gained eating across the country.  I seriously thought I had gained 20 pounds, but, it was only 5 pounds.  That was a relief.

Oh dear, I have not written a poem yet for this day.  Let’s see what comes.

SUMMER MAGIC

By Kathleen Martens

July 16, 2015

Summer evening sings it song

In meadow green through shaded trees.

Twilight stillness in reverence sweet

Twinkling lights blink back at me.

Arks of wonder sweep the air,

A magical dance with such grace

Sparkles in wondrous search

For a tranquil mating place.

Warmth and humidity in repose,

Wet earth in fragrance sweet,

The fire flies sparkle their love

Until their lover they meet.

This poem was inspired this evening as I stood at the north end of the house from its high vantage point.  As I looked out the window I could see through the gaps in the tall trees to the meadow below the house.  It was so green and quiet and peaceful.  And the fireflies were dancing their summer dance.  There were so many that the area was just twinkling.  I just stood there for a long time watching as the daylight faded and twilight cast its magical light, fading from light to dark.  The fire flies do a little ark as they fly toward the earth hoping to attract a mate.   It is the male lightening bugs that twinkle their rears hoping to attract a mate.  When the female decides which mate she chooses she has a very small twinkle that will notify the mate. When they finally attract each other they fall to the earth, consummate their union and their life ends shortly thereafter.  Before death the female lays her eggs in the earth where the larva will survive on slugs and worms and other creepy crawly things that live in the soil.  And just for the record, fire flies are not flies at all.  They come from the beetle family.  Whatever family they come from they are magical to watch at twilight.  Often people in this area refer to them as lightening bugs.

My twilight is dark, my day is done. My greens are cooked.  It’s time to go to bed and have some fun (well at least go to sleep).

Good night my friends.  Sandra, it was nice talking to you today!  I love you!

P.S.  My wisdom today:  When you are angry, take time to cool down before uttering a word.  When the anger has subsided you will be glad you did not say all you thought of saying while angry.  Once a word is spoken it can never be taken back.

Tuesday July 14 2015  I DID NOT MEET MY EXPECTATIONS!

When I awakened this morning I had a list of expectations I thought I would accomplish.  Later today I decided that I should just not expect anything from myself right now.  That way, like the other day, if I do succeed in accomplishing something I will have exceeded my expectations.  And that always feels good.  Today, I did not meet my earlier expectations.

Tomorrow will be lost to me also.  But at least I already know that.  And…it is for a good cause.  My two little grandson’s need a place to stay while their dad (my son) goes into work on his day off for a debriefing of being first responder to a child hit by a car who later died at the hospital.  He has been a police officer for about 16 years now.  He is one of the good guys.  It is not always easy being the mother of a police officer in today’s chaotic world.  He is currently in law school so perhaps his police career will end when he finishes law school.  I don’t really know for certain what his ultimate plan is, but he understands that we support him in whatever he does.  I just pray often. He is, and has always been, a wonderful son.  Now he has two beautiful boys who both are carbon copies of him when he was three and seven years old.  I feel like I am in the room with three variations of him when they are all here together.  Maybe that is what old age does for you, makes you forget the naughty things you kids did  years ago and every child he will ever have will look exactly like him, regardless of what they really look like.  All I know is that they are all handsome!

We have a beautiful daughter too!  She and her husband and our grand-dogs, Coal and Jackson, live far away so we don’t get to see them often.  And of course Rebecca looks just like me, even if she is adopted!  We have been blessed as a family.

My husband is improving.  He had another IV antibiotic dose today and we go back to the doctor tomorrow afternoon (after the grandson’s get picked up) and another dose of antibiotics.  He will be reassessed at that time to determine what follow up will be done in regards to medications.  His leg looked much improved this morning when I looked at it.  I haven’t seen it since this morning but I will check it before bed.

Niggling in the back of my head is that design work I must accomplish.  I was hoping to have it finished by the time I went into the hospital in less than two weeks for surgery.  That would make me a happy camper!  Thursday I will have an uninterrupted day (that is my day off from the gym) and plan to not allow ANYTHING OR ANYBODY to take away my expectations for getting a good start on the project.  I sometime wonder if it so difficult for other people (especially retired ones) to have a day go as planned?  I will make my plans, and take a stab at the day.  So if any of you are out there and reading this, PLEASE DO NOT STOP BY OR CALL ME ON THE PHONE ON THURSDAY (unless it is a dire emergency).  I just don’t answer the phone when I am working.  So go ahead and call if you need to leave a message.

When I am at home like this you can certainly see that I am not traveling or climbing mountains or investigating gorges. But…I enjoy every day I have breath and give praise and thanks to the Lord.  And I especially give thanks for Dave having breath and recovering from what could have developed into something much worse.  He still needs prayer for complete healing.

Actually I am really enjoying being home despite Dave’s episode in the hospital.  I am back in the kitchen.  I love cooking and enjoy making good food.  I know I made some people crazy when I was using their kitchen, and for that I am truly sorry.  But thank you so much for allowing me to make some of my favorite dishes.  I have been reminiscing about my trip and I have so many wonderful memories.  Are there things I would do differently if I could do it over, you bet, but God is working with me on settling my regrets.  And my regrets are few.

The memories that so readily come to mind are the ocean, especially in Monterey and Big Sur when I was with my cousin Bill and his wife.  They were both so generous with their time and  providing me with tickets to the Monterey Aquarium and for a bus tour showing me the locations where movies were filmed in that area.  Both were absolutely spectacular experiences.  Bill even took a day off work to spend with me and gave me a personal driving tour of the beaches and pointed out beautiful places to go when on my own.  The ocean is calling me back.  Oh how I miss it.

The other memories that draw me back are the ones in Oregon and Washington.  I fell in love with the Columbia River Gorge, all the waterfalls, rock climbing, and all the scenic snowcapped mountains in the area.  Charlene and Larry were like my own personal tour guides.  It was so awesome!

Another highlight to me was touring Butchart Gardens in Victoria on Vancouver Island B.C. on June 12^th.  That was a day unto itself.  I did a detailed blog on my day there.  I went alone and was just in reverie in my solo experience.  I was doing some serious photographing that day and when I am in the photographer stance, I might as well be alone because I lose contact with those around me.  Put a real camera in my hands and I am in never, never land.  I still haven’t done anything with any photos since I’ve arrived home.  My photos will not come to surface until I am completed with my commitments of professional work for others.

I think the greatest highlights of my entire trip were all the stops I made to see the people I love.  I purposely went on this trip to connect with as many as I could.  I often drove an entire day out of the way of my direct destination.  I had the opportunity to visit with several mentors of my earlier self.  These friends are up in their late 80’s and 90’s.  It was very important for me to reconnect with those of my past.  Dave didn’t even know some of the people I stopped to see.  I also went to 4 homes we lived in while we were residents of California.  I actually was able to see the impressions of Rebecca’s 16 month old footprints that we made on the wet cement when the patio was being poured.  I saw a friends that go back to diaper days and one special friend I’ve known since we were both 6 years old.  And so many others I could mention by name but no time in tonight’s blog.  Most of these stories have been told in previous blogs so I won’t repeat myself.

I do want to mention two of my very favorite states.  I fell in love with Montana for its stark open beauty with massive mountain ranges and unbelievable landscapes that went on for miles and miles.  I loved driving through Montana, hour after hour, and some of those hours on gravel roads.  I met few cars coming toward me and only passed one or two trucks that were very slow.  Montana is beautiful and magnificent.  The other state I fell in love with was Wyoming.  But like Dave reminded me, I was there in June, not January.  I know what January in Wisconsin is like so I could imagine really well what it would be like in Montana and Wyoming.  The beauty was breathtaking (in June).

And Canada.  I think I went through some of the most beautiful country in the world when I drove the mountains of Canada.  Everyone was trying to persuade me to not travel on the high mountain roads, but that was my joy to do.  I wanted to go the back roads and the mountains and the valleys and through the farm fields and the serenity and quiet.  I went out of my way to do just that.

Well, since I am no longer traveling I just thought I would take a nostalgic journey tonight so I could tell you all about it again.  There are more stories left unwritten than those I have written.  I still hope to write the unwritten.  They are about all the people I did not know.  All the kind strangers those who God brought to me.  So many stories.  So many lives.

So much more I could write.  But it is almost 9:00 p.m. and it takes a bit of time to proofread at least once and get this blog published.  Thanks for reading it.

I pray that you will have a wonderful tomorrow.

Oops!  I forgot one more thing that will probably take me a while to finish.  I wrote a poem earlier today and want to write it here.  Well, maybe I’ll save it for another day.  I’m tired and I need to go to sleep so I will have energy for two rambunctious boys early in the morning.

Maybe I’ll just write a short one for the blog tonight.

AT END OF DAY

By Kathleen Martens

July 14, 2015

My day at close,

And my body knows.

Darkness of night,

Fireflies light.

Teeth are brushed,

Sounds are hushed.

My bed awaits

My quiet fate.

So my friend

This is the end

Goodnight I say

At close of day.

May your tomorrow be blessed!

P.S.  It is 9:20 p.m. and I’m ready to publish.  I’m getting faster!!!

Monday July 13, 2015  I REMEMBERED IT IS MONDAY!

So, what does one write on a travel log night after night when one is not traveling?  I guess that makes no sense.  I have a column titled Travel Log.  Perhaps I should have one titled Home Log.  As long as no one complains I’ll keep it as is.  Besides even if someone did complain I do not have open forum so no one else ever need know.

However, I am planning in the future to have another blog.  I do think I wrote of it once in the months past.  My son gave me the idea.  I’ll repeat myself here and let you know I am repeating myself so you won’t think it is my old age catching up with me.  I know some have joined this blog later than others and per chance they did not read that particular blog wo I will reiterate.

When I asked my son what I should name the blog I was planning to write while on my trip he QUICKLY responded with “THE OPINION YOU DIDN’T ASK FOR”.  Hmmm…that was a bit too quick of a response.  Makes me think he might think I give my opinion too often!  So…I looked up the domain and it was taken and could only be used by a paying blogger.  Well, if I can get it without costing something I’d rather do that.  So I googled the domain name “THE OPINION YOU DID NOT ASK FOR” through wordpress and it was available so I gobbled it up.  It sits there waiting for me to start work on it.  Until my life situation settles down a bit it will be on the back burner.  But…I really do look forward to working on it.  I plan to have an open forum and bring up some controversial opinions contrary to the popular secular world.  I would love to get some discussions going.  When I finally have time I just hope I can still remember what I want to do.  Oh well, I like dreaming, and thinking, and planning.  My son asked me what I was going to put on the bog.  “MY OPINIONS OF COURSE”, I responded.  I hope I still have some opinions when the time comes.  Life is getting shorter by the day.  I may have only 30 or 40 years left!  However many years I have left I sure do enjoy living each moment of them.

Today consisted of two doctor appointments with Dave, one workout session with myself, laundry, and just the normal everyday tasks, fixing meals, eating meals, cleaning up.  What more can I say.  Life goes on even after a four month trip.  But there is a lot of catching up to do.  And my poem arises from my depths.

LIFE HAS A WAY

By Kathleen Martens

July 13, 2015

When you live a dream

It begins to feel real.

And then something happens

To break the deal.

Time marches on

One moment at a time

And the days number on

And time flies by.

And all that you do

And all that you see

Is tucked in your heart

As neat as can be.

And all that happened

In those days of yore

Becomes the dream

That is no more.

For life has a way

To fill the space

Of each day that passes

In such a race.

The dream that was lived

Is like a borrowed treasure

To bring out and admire

And give you pleasure.

The reality is gone

But the memory lives

And so much joy

To the heart it gives.

And that which is precious,

The everyday task

Is where life is lived

And questions asked.

The simple and ordinary

Are the special things.

The everyday of life

Simple joys bring.

To be home again

The normal becomes

The precious moments

When you’re on the run.

And through ups and downs

God puts a smile on your face

For even the hardships

Are lived with grace.

When you love life

Regardless what you do

You love where you are

And whatever you ensue.

Today when Dave and I went to one of his appointments he was seen by a Physician’s Assistant.  At the end of his appointment I asked her what was the best wisdom she had for us if she could tell us one thing.  This is what  P.A., Joanna told us.

Joanna’s wisdom:  “Eat Clean”.

Two simple words.  The very same words that was on the top of an article that Dave and I were reading out loud at lunch before we went to see her.  And what is interesting to me is that just yesterday Dave and I were talking about food and I told him the best way to eat was to eat clean.  He asked me what that meant.  I explained that it was eating foods in their natural state, the foods I like to eat.  And then the next day (today) we have two confirmations of exactly what it does mean by both a PA and an article written by a nutritionist.  I think that was good confirmation.

I have just returned from a journey of my own.   Dave is now embarking on a new journey of his own.   He is a very private person, and that is difficult when you’re married to me.  But, this is, and will be his journey and I will not be writing much about it after this blog.  If he says I can write some milestones and landmarks I will do so but other than that you’ll just have to wait and see where his journey takes him.  Maybe when he gets farther down the road he will open up and share.  All I will tell you here is that my husband is one of the greatest men I know and is worth everything I can do to help him as he goes down a new path as he enters into retirement.  After living with him for 42 years I can truthfully say that there is not another man alive that I have ever met has the integrity that he has.  Can you tell I’m still in love with him?

Good night, my husband is going to bed and so am I.  It is only 9:20 p.m.  Yeah!  Another early night.  I’ll go get my beauty sleep.  I heard once that the best sleep your body can get is the accumulative sleep you get before midnight.  I have nothing to base it on except that it  is  what someone told me.  Believe what you want.  I choose to believe it!

Good night and sweet dreams.

Sunday Sabbath July 12, 2015  EXCEEDING EXPECTATIONS!

I have finally figured out how to exceed my expectations of what I am going to accomplish in one day’s time.  I simply do not make any expectations!  Yesterday I told Dave that all I wanted to do today after attending church and going to Costco was to come home and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.  Well, so far Dave carved a chicken off the bone, I cooked the bones for broth, Dave strained it and bottled three quarts of broth that now is cooling to be put in the freezer.

While the chicken was boiling I made broccoli/cauliflower salad (take into mind that everything must be cleaned and cut up).  Baked a pan of broccoli with lime juice (delicious recipe my daughter-in-law made up).  Stir fried a zucchini pepper pie double size (without the pie crust to lower the carbs) and baked it in the oven. Cut up a mango (the kind that has the perfect taste) and refrigerated it for later.  Dave husked the corn on the cob for dinner. Prepared several vegetables for cooking later and washed and prepared fruit to have ready to eat.  Dinner is ready to serve up when we are ready to eat.

Maybe you think I am obsessing about food but I just want to tell you something.  I probably am obsessing about food because I have so much of it come into my house at once that if I am not obsessed with getting it cooked, cleaned for later use,  prepared for later dinners or freezer, it would go to waste.  Those who have a vegetable garden to tend to probably know what I mean.  At certain times it consumes you.  And people ask me what do I do to call myself busy?  Part of it is the food prep from the farm boxes I receive each week.  Thursday comes around fast and fortunately for me Thursday is not every day like Saturday is. So, I tell you about my food because it is what I accomplished today.  I had no plans to do so (remember my expectation was to do absolutely nothing today).   So…since that was my expectation I am just “bragging” a little bit by telling you how much I exceeded my expectation.  It is a good feeling to have it all done.  Yes, it is never ending and there is more to do tomorrow.  I still need to make a cucumber salad.  And yes, we will eat all this good food throughout the week as well as next winter from the freezer.  Can’t remember if I told you but I made 13 quarts of soup a day or so ago.  Nine made it into the freezer, we are in the process of eating the two in the fridge and the other two went to a neighbor.  And I have lots more soup to make.  Now you know why I had to get home.  Oh yes, I almost forgot.  I want to make a huge coleslaw tomorrow.  Lots of cabbage in this house this week!

Dave is slowly feeling better.  He is down most of the time with his leg elevated and comes knocking on the kitchen door volunteering to do short tasks so he can be upright for a while.  He can only be up for a few moments at a time.  But hey, I take all the help I can get.  He did not go to church today as he needs to be isolated from close contact with other people for a while, more for his benefit that the other people.  He did go in for his antibiotic infusion and is able to drive.  Tomorrow he has two appointments, one of which I will need to be in attendance.

Our pastor is doing a three week series about how to pray.  The first one was the last Sunday in June and the second one was today.  I listened to the first one online because I wasn’t home yet.  An excellent series.  The second one was today because of last week being a holiday weekend.  I especially enjoyed today’s message.  To hear google City Church Madison Wisconsin.

Our “new normal” is slowing coming to surface.  I think it will take about a year for it to evolve.  One thing we have agreed on is that we do not plan to take on any new commitments in the next 12 months to give us time to accomplish a few things that will help make our life a little simpler.  I didn’t know just how many opportunities would come knocking.  I love being involved with people and doing things and going places but we are saying no to the commitments of weekly or monthly participation.  We will still have fun with our friends on occasion and maybe even entertain a bit when things settle down with Dave’s health situation.  It is a great relief to know that we do not “have to” take on new responsibilities if we do not want to.  We do want to be in the Lord’s will and have a close relationship during these next few months.  We are taking this time to rest in his presence and invite His Holy Spirit to come into our lives in a mighty way.  I feel a poem coming to surface:

THANK YOU FATHER FOR YOUR AMAZING PLAN

By Kathleen Martens

July 12, 2015

Come Holy Spirit as I sit at your feet.

Speak to my heart so I hear Your voice.

Allow me to rest in Your loving presence

As I come to You by my choice.

I seek Your face and You draw nigh unto me

Your compassion and love like a blanket spread.

I ask for Your favor and You pour out Your peace

And You set the table where I am fed.

Fed from Your word written in my heart

And the words Jesus spoke on earth.

Your love is greater than I can comprehend,

More valuable than Gold is Your worth.

You are my comforter sent from the Son

That I would never be alone,

But would have all eternity with You

Worshiping around God’s throne.

Thank you Father for your amazing plan

That a way would be made for me

That I would be able to live with You

Worshipping throughout eternity.

I give You my heart, I give You my love

I give you all that I am.

Thank you for giving to me

Your Son as the righteous lamb.

Thank You Lord for the poem you just gave to my heart.  May it bless another.

Hey this has been a record time.  I have only been at the computer for 50 minutes.  It will take a bit to publish and proofread so I will end soon, eat dinner, and be ready for another early night.  If I do nothing else I will still have exceeded my expectations!  That’s a good feeling.

Have a great evening!

SATURDAY (IT REALLY IS) July 11, 2015  GETTING BACK TO REALITY

Getting back to reality means questions.  I am constantly asking questions; to myself; to God.  As I sat down to spend time with the Lord this morning the questions came.  I always write the date, the time, the weather, and where I am.  I did so in my journal and the following is the rest of what I wrote:

“Simple lines on a page.  Denotes I AM here.  Later it will tell others that I WAS here.  I exist in this moment of time.  What will it matter 100 years from now? I hope to some lives that I’ve touched it will matter because they too will be living in eternity with God.  The wisdom a blog reader sent in last night “only one life will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last” has made me do some thinking.  Oh how true are those words.  And what I must remember is that every action, every word I speak, has the power to make a profound change in another’s life.  For good or for bad.”

My time was interrupted and I didn’t get back to my written journal until this evening as I opened up to write my blog.  I hadn’t yet written a poem and as quickly as I sat down at the kitchen counter this poem came spilling out of me.  More questions.

ONLY WHAT’S DONE FOR CHRIST WILL LAST

By Kathleen Martens

July 11, 2015

Only one life am I granted to live.

How will I spend it?  To what shall I give?

Does it matter what I choose to do?

How will my life help others through?

What words can I say that will fashion a soul?

Is it important as to what are my goals?

Do I need be concerned about my actions,

Or who I’m involved with, or with what factions?

Do I live for self, care not for others?

How do I address the needs of my brothers?

All these questions swirl in my head.

No matter what I do, someday I’ll be dead,

Though I am here now in 100 years will it matter?

If the answer is “NO”, there is nothing sadder.

Will even one life be changed by me?

Will I be the cause of where someone spends eternity?

Will something I said change their course of direction,

And their spiritual life, given an inspection?

That they would know God in an intimate way

Because of the words that I say today?

I have “only one life, so soon will be past,

Only what’s done For Christ will last.”

This poem is inspired by the words of wisdom sent in last night by Robin.  Thank you Robin for your inspirational wisdom.

The Lord gave me words of confirmation after I wrote this poem.  I sit here now debating if I am to share them on my blog.  And I hear in my heart “The words I give to you are for you to share”…OKAY…here goes.

These are my heart sounds that I believe are from the Lord:

“Every word you say, every action you do, do it as unto Me.  What one person can do to influence another to turn to me is the great commission I have set before you.  Let your life tell My story.  Actions always speak louder than words.  Live out your salvation that others will know there is something different about you.  My message will be shown by what you do, how you love, then and only then, by what you profess.  Be my disciple wherever you go.  You may be home but I will still be bringing to you those who need to hear My voice.  Encourage and confirm others.  There are so many who need to hear what I speak to you.  It does matter.  Every day of your life matters.  When you touch one life it has a rippling effect.  Each life you touch will in some way touch and influence another life.  No one is unimportant.  I love the multitudes.  Let your heart be tuned to Me, but keep your eyes on the multitude.  There is always someone who is ready to hear my message for I am wooing the lost.  Be my voice to those searching.  You are my beloved.  I will give you strength and courage.”

It is a bit intimidating to me to share my actual journal writing.  A blog is not my personal journal but rather a chronicle of my trip; my days since I’ve been home.  It is more about what I’ve done or thought so I don’t lose it in the haze of my old age memory.  When I give you a peek into my journal it’s sort of like I am undressing in front of a crowd.  AND I WOULD NEVER DO THAT!  I think God is preparing me to share more of what I have already written and I need the courage to do so.  Well, he just impressed upon me that He will give me strength and courage so I will accept that and believe it to be true.  I have courage about a lot of things, and for all those things I give thanks.  Now I guess it is time to step out and let him boost my courage in the areas yet untraveled.

My “chronicles” today are meager.  Listened to a great sermon in bed before getting up.  I am waking up earlier and earlier since I’m going to bed early.  Dave must lie down as much as possible so we lie there together listening to the words of a minister in Modesto where I attended in April while I was there.  I love his teaching.  Maybe I already told you about him but I want to mention him again so if someone doesn’t read that blog but reads this one they will have the resource to find the website.  Google “Modesto Calvary Chapel” The pastor’s name is Damien Kyle.  Excellent teacher.  Dave and I are listening to the series of Matthew.  If you want some more good teaching you can google, City Church Madison Wisconsin, where we attend and receive some interesting sermons as well.

Worked outside in the yard today.  Weeded a lot and planted several pots of flowers and a planter in the back yard where I am starting a perineal garden.  The yard got away from Dave this spring due to his long work hours and all the spring rain watering the weeds.  We have a big yard, lots of borders and gardens and LOTS OF WEEDS THAT CREEP IN FROM THE WOODS! After lunch I went to the gym, then came home to neighborhood gab with the ladies on the street.  We live on a circle (cul-de-sac) with 4 houses.  Everyone is always working in their front yards, or garage, or back yards.  We live a community where there are no fences.  One yard runs into the next one.  I love the openness and freedom of this kind of living.  It was very different getting used to all the fences around homes in some of the states.  We’ve lived here almost 30 years now.  We’ve seen one generation die off, another come and go, and we’re still here.  I hope I go out head first.  Or is it feet first?  Oh well, I hope I live here till I die.  Just thought you’d like to know Dave.  I don’t’ think I’ve ever told him that.  I’m the one that is always wishing we could sell and downsize.  He’s the one who wants to live here forever so he can work in the yard.  After today’s weeding I can’t wait until his leg is better!

I finally came in the house, fixed dinner just in case we got hungry, started writing my blog and it’s 8:30 and we still haven’t eaten.  I guess I’ll close so we can eat and go to bed.

Tuesday I will start working on my design work for the wedding album I must do.  I need uninterrupted hours and that will be the first day for such a possibility.  Who knows, since there are so many Saturdays between now and Tuesday perhaps I’ll even finish my unpacking.

Good night.  Still waiting for some more wisdom to come in.  Please go to contact tab and give me a line!

Friday July 10 2015  EVERYDAY IS SATURDAY!

My husband is truly retired.  I am supposed to be truly retired but I have left over work to do so I don’t feel truly retired.  But one thing that is different, now that my husband isn’t going to work every day, every day is now Saturday.  Truly!  When I wake up without an alarm, look across the bed (before he went into the hospital) at him still sleeping, I think it must be Saturday.  Then I remember that it is not.  And then the really hard part is trying to remember what day of the week it really is.  I’ve yet to establish a routine of any sort.  Perhaps when that falls into place I’ll remember the day of the week.

Oh well, I like Saturdays!

It is good to have Dave home again.  He can’t do much because he must keep his leg elevated but it is nice to hear the background noise of him in the house.  I’ve discovered that a house is not a home.  It is the people in the house that make it feel like a home.  Having him gone for four days opened my eyes to how empty it must have felt with me gone.  However he did confess, that as usual, he always left for work early morning and worked late while I was gone.  He had so much work to accomplish before he retired and had to tie up a lot of loose ends of different contracts so he was under a lot of pressure at work and probably under less stress with me not around since he didn’t feel pressured to come home earlier.  Anyway, that’s the way I’ll think about it so I won’t feel so bad for being gone so long.  I will say IT IS GOOD TO BE HOME even if every day is Saturday.

Dave still has a long recovery ahead of him.  He was told today at the infectious disease place he went to for intravenous antibiotics that he will be coming longer than they originally told him.  The Doctor told him that it could be weeks before He is out of the woods.  He must go every day for several more days for the drugs and then will be reassessed as to what they plan for a course of treatment.  His leg, the source of the infection, still looks very bad.  But, he could walk today.  That is a good step (no pun intended) in the right direction.  It may take a while to get his full health and strength back but I am just so happy that he is feeling better and is coherent to what is going on around him.  It was not a pretty picture to see the kind of pain and condition he was in.  I am so thankful that he has made such progress the last five days.  I thank God every day for Dave’s continued healing.

Part of my Scripture reading this morning was in Psalms 92.  Here are the verses that spoke to my heart.  Read each line slowly and carefully out loud.  I love writing scripture longhand in my diary because it seems to take on a new and more understandable meaning.  When you must put in all the punctuation you realize that sometimes sentences can mean something entirely different when the punctuation is not emphasized.  Writing it out helps me see and understand that.  Here is the scripture:

Psalms 92:  12-15:

“The righteous shall flourish like a palm tree,

He shall grow like a cedar in Lebanon.

Those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God.

They shall still bear fruit in old age;

They shall be fresh and flourishing,

To declare that the Lord is upright.

He is my rock and there is no unrighteousness in Him.”

I purposely made a new line for each end of punctuation.  Notice what kind of punctuation each line ends with and read it accordingly.  It is powerful.  As an older person in our society I listen more acutely when the scripture talks about the “old”.  There are some mighty awesome promises given to us old geezers!  I could go on and on about the different verses but I won’t take the time now.  Just really read these lines as punctuation dictates and realize that God is giving us promises in his Word about so many things.  I take these promises to heart.  I probably interpret it differently than a young person would because to me these promises are real.  Here is my interpretation of what it means to me.

“As I live righteously (following in the steps of Jesus) I will live and stay tall and strong, yet will still be able to bend to the winds of adversity and flourish, by again being tall and straight, when the winds pass.  I will have roots that will last a long lifetime and give shade and comfort to the weary as they pass by.  Because by feet are steadfast in the presence of the Lord I shall flourish in His presence and have a close intimacy with the Lord.  And even though I am old I will still be of service to God and bear fruit for His kingdom.  I will maintain a freshness and vitality of life that I will flourish and not let old age cause me to wilt, lose hope, or give up.  And while I flourish I will declare to others that the Lord is upright and give witness to others of who He is to me, that He is my rock and I know that there is no unrighteousness in Him.”

That is what that passage of scripture means to me.  And I hope it is true until the day I go to be with the Lord.  I desire to declare the glory of the Lord and the miracles He has done in my life.  Here is the poem I wrote this morning after reading the above scripture.  I just love the scripture!

YOUR WRITTEN WORD

By Kathleen Martens

July 10, 2015

Oh Lord, You are mighty

And I give my thanks to You.

You are higher than the mountains,

The whole world is in Your view.

I sing praises to Your name

For You have made me glad.

Your lovingkindness washes over me

More amazing than anything else I’ve had.

You speak that the righteous shall flourish

And grow like a cedar.

And when I am planted in Your house

I will know You are my leader.

And You say I will flourish in Your courts

And will bear fruit even when old.

And continue to be fresh and flourishing

For in Your scriptures these words are told.

And I will declare You are upright

For You are my rock and my tower.

In You there is no unrighteousness

For You are Holy and pure, my source of power.

Clothed in Your majesty, some day I will see

Your throne established from old.

For I believe Your written Word

The inspired Word You have told.

Thanks to all of you who got to the end of this blog tonight and for listening to an “old lady”* on a Saturday.  Oops!  It’s not Saturday, it is still Friday.

*Just so you know, I don’t feel old on the inside.  Just thought you might like to know.  Short blog tonight as I’m aiming for “old lady bed time”.  Didn’t make it though, because it is already 9:40.  But it’s an improvement over 3:00 or 3:30 a.m.  I think I am getting used to the two hour time change now.

One more thing:  I only last night let my neighbor ladies know that Dave was in the hospital (that was before He came home).  I am so blessed with wonderful neighbors.  We live in a country neighborhood and I just made a calculated guess, by mentally walking the neighborhood that we have 34 homes in this community.  Only homes, no businesses.  I think I know almost everyone one, at least a little, who live here.  There are several neighborhood functions that happen throughout the year which helps in knowing the neighbors.  Last night I had one neighbor that said she would mow for us.  Then today, my next door neighbor knocked on the door and asked if she could mow for us right then because she was going to do her yard too.  She has a riding lawn mower and that is a great help on a lawn like ours.  I accepted and the lawn is now mowed.  I thank God for our neighbors.  So if you are reading this blog Karen I want to say thanks again for your generosity of time and energy.  It is people like you that make our neighborhood so great!

And one last thing.  I just received an email from a lady I met on my journey.  She gave me her word of wisdom just before I was ready to publish this blog.  Her name is Robin and I met her in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho.  This wisdom was given to her from her grandmother.  Robin’s email really blessed me.

Robin’s wisdom: “…only one life will soon be past,only whats done for Christ will last”.

Thank you Robin.  I love your wisdom.  Let me know if I can share more of your email with the public.

Goodnight everyone.  Thank you for your prayers.

Thursday July 9 2015  HOME AGAIN!

Yeah!  The antibiotics seem like they are working!  Dave had another round of intravenous antibiotics last night that covers the MRSA range.  His leg is responding.  He had another bag of them this evening and then he was discharged.  He must return three days in a row for three more treatments of the intravenous drugs that seem to be working.  I thank God that he is home.  It was never decided for certain that he actually has MRSA because they did not get a wound culture.  But, if the MRSA drugs are working that is all I care about!

I had my first day in my library since I have arrived home.  Now, just so you know that is a big thing to me.  My “normal” routine before I left on my trip was to get up about 5:00 a.m. and go downstairs to my cozy library and study God’s word, pray, listen for his voice to speak to my heart and write for two or three hours.  That has not happened since I returned from my trip.  Actually had no time and I certainly wasn’t getting up at 5:00 a.m. nor going to bed at 9:00 p.m.  I am slowly making the transition back to getting to bed earlier.  However, tonight is a later night as I went back to the hospital to pick Dave up once he found out he was going to be released.  I was glad to do it.

So…tomorrow (if I dare to make plans) is a cooking day.  Today I actually accomplished my first computer return with my photographer’s hat on.  I was able to set into motion the needed work to have one of my orders completed.  It will still take a couple of turnaround times with my lab.  But, I am one step closer to being finished.  Worked most of the day on that.  That and laundry.  My office is close to the laundry room so it made it easy to hear the buzzers go off.

Now, back to tomorrow’s cooking day.  This may not seem like a big deal to most people but because we have a membership to receive food from an organic farm I must make use of the food by cooking it up and freezing it.  I freeze rather than can because I like the food better that way.  It take a lot of time.  I can’t even fit all the food in my fridge.  I had to give some of it away so it wouldn’t spoil. I hope to make two big pots of soup and one zucchini pepper pie.

There is so much I’d like to write but due to the late hour I will finish with the words I felt impressed into my heart from my Lord.  First I wrote a poem to the Lord, then I had the scripture from Romans 8:14 come to mind “THE TRUE CHILDREN OF GOD ARE THOSE WHO LET GOD’S SPIRIT LEAD THEM.”

Then I wrote this prayer as it came to me:

“Lord, I pray that my spirit will become once again attuned to You.  Lead me Lord and call me unto You that I will hear Your voice.  I give You all of me.  Ground me with the fullness of Your love, mercy, and grace.  Forgive me of my lack of time and neglect.  Thank You for Your blessing and protection on my trip.  Thank You!  Thank You!  Lord, release healing in Dave’s body.  Thank You that I am here for him.”

The following are the words I felt the Lord speaking to my heart.

“Just bathe in My presence.  Allow yourself to let go and not be hurried.  You have learned to trust Me but sometimes you still lean on your own resources.  Yes, you are capable of much but I am so much more able to do beyond what you even ask or think.  Give your time to Me without rushing.  Remember, the present is your friend.  And I Am the greatest Friend that walks that present with you.  Even now as you sit here you need to stop and breathe and relax, and just think on Me.

Do not allow yourself to pick up the worry of the future.  Your future is lived in each moment.  Relax and enjoy our time alone.  It is not the time to feel guilty about not working at something; not accomplishing a task.  Ask Me for strength and guidance.  Let my Spirit lead you.  Stop and rest in Me.  Just as My Word proclaims, My true children allows My spirit to lead.  You are My true child.  You are My beloved.  You are the one I love.  Slow down.  We will work on that together.  You may be pleasantly surprised by just how much will be accomplished when you allow your spirit to be led by mine.  You do not have to prove anything to Me.    As a matter of fact, you do not need to prove anything to yourself either.  And, you surely do not need to prove anything to anyone else.  Think on these words for there are great lessons hidden in them.”

THINK ON THESE THINGS

By Kathleen Martens

July 9, 2015

Think on these things

That I place in your heart

In your early hours come

As the day you start.

Look toward My heavens

In quiet time alone,

I am waiting to listen

At my Father’s throne.

And our spirits entwine

And we two become one

Because of the blood

Of my precious Son.

Open the ears of your heart

That my words you hear

And know the day long

I am always near.

Receive my joy

And everlasting peace

And remember my love

Will never cease.

Just rest in me

Without rush or hurry

And all will be well

Without any worry.

For I am the one

Who loves you most

When you abide in me

I am your host.

So come and enjoy

Our time alone

For it is then

When you feel most at home.

The above poem just came to me after I had typed my heart sounds above.  The one I wrote earlier today will stay tucked away in my journal for it was a personal poem to God.

I AM SO THANKFUL THAT DAVE IS HOME AGAIN!

Have a great day tomorrow!

Wednesday July 8 2015   PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

So much to be thankful for.  I am so thankful that I am home.  I am so thankful that I was at the house when Dave got so sick.  I thank God that Dave agreed to go to the hospital when I couldn’t even get him to agree to go to urgent care.  I am so thankful I remembered to tell the nurse to look at his legs.  I am so thankful for antibiotics.  I am so thankful for modern medicine and clean surroundings.  I am so thankful for blood tests that can check for diseases.  I am so thankful Dave is being treated for his illness.  I am so thankful that people go to medical school to learn as much as they do to help out in such situations.  I have all of the above to be thankful for and I am so blessed by God.  PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

Dave is a doing a little better in how he feels overall but his leg is still very infected, red and swollen.  And it is extremely painful.  It is difficult for him to walk on it.  And…he didn’t get to come home from the hospital today.  His primary hospital physician is concerned that it may be MRSA.  (MRSA IS AN INFECTION THAT IS RESISTANT TO ANTIBIOTICS).  Dave was seen by an infectious disease control specialist today.  He didn’t determine for certain if it is MRSA but they are giving him an antibiotic that has a broader spectrum and may cover some of the MRSA bacterial staph infections.  He was being treated with a new bag hookup to his IV line when I left this evening.  Hopefully this will start the process of reversing the infection in the leg.

Dave was able to talk coherently tonight and hold an actual conversation.  With the severe pain combined with the pain medication he has been sort of fuzzy.  It was good to see him acting and feeling more like himself.  We are praying for a full recovery.  Please pray with us.

I am just about finished with the unpacking of personal items.  That’s a good feeling.  Now I can concentrate on working on photography when I am not needed at the hospital.  I will have a great release of pressure when all my work is signed, sealed, and delivered!  We have several different groups of people coming to visit in the next two months and I want all my work out of the way as soon as possible.

I am back at the gym now.  Yesterday was my first day.  I think today was a little harder than yesterday.  It is tough getting back into a regular routine when nothing “regular” is taking place around me.  I think I forgot what “regular” is.  I know my routine is extremely different but I am working on correcting part of that.  I actually don’t think I want to go back to what was my norm.  I will find a new normal.  With Dave retired now I think our new normal should just evolve without force or manipulation to make it work for the best for both of us.  What worked for me when I was home alone each day working in my home studio and home office, and Dave was working away from home may be not be what will work best now.  I don’t think I would have understood all that had I not been gone all these months.  I am seeing things from a different perspective and from new and different experiences.  It really helped that I visited in homes where couples were retired.  It was interesting and informative listening to all the wisdom and advice and suggestions that each person gave me.  I received so many different ideas and views.  It was also interesting and VERY INFORMATIVE to watch and listen to the couples interact who lived with each other day in and day out.  Very informative indeed.  I loved it.  And then I have my cousin Joyce who is a single lady.  Out of everyplace I visited I think she is enjoying her retirement to the highest degree.  Each of us chooses what brings us the most fulfillment and joy.  I learned that that special joy and fulfillment is different for each place I visited as well as for each separate individual in that home.  It was a beautiful thing to observe.

Right now for me, it will be to finish what I started, close my business down with a good feeling in my heart that I fulfilled all commitments and then walk away into my new “normal”.  Any good advice and wisdom out there?  I still have plenty of room for some “red letter wisdom”.  Just go to Contact Tab and send me an email.

Early night tonight.  It is not quite 8:00 p.m.  Maybe if I start getting ready for bed when I finish this blog and poem I’ll be shut eye by 9:00.

MY NEW NORMAL

By Kathleen Martens

July 8, 2015

Where is the normal I left behind?

Is it even what I want to find?

Do I try to do as before?

Or perhaps seek new doors?

What once was perfect for me to do

No longer entices like the new.

My dream is to continually explore

New ideas I’m searching for.

Untraveled roads loom ahead

Lots to do before I am dead.

People to meet, places to see

And in my thoughts ever free.

My new normal will be as I choose,

Partnered with God, I’ll never lose.

For what I desire to accomplish each day

Is to forever walk in God’s way.

Then my new normal will be God’s plan

For with Him I will forever stand.

His design for me is perfect always

For He is beside me all of my days.

Tuesday July 7 2015 THERE IS ALWAYS TOMORROW…

Words of wisdom sent to me by my cousin in an email:  “…slow down and accomplish what you can each day.  What gets done, gets done.  There is always tomorrow to finish any task”.

I’ll have to think about that for a while.  Good advice however, TO SLOW DOWN!  Living in the moment has helped me to slow down quite a bit but when I hit the pavement when I arrived home all that learning seemed to just fly out the window.  I am so yearning to have all  my professional work finished so I can do exactly that…SLOW DOWN.  But until I finish it I am in the fast mode.  With Dave getting so sick my plans have changed somewhat as I take care of things on the home front plus all the little loose ends of “this and that” which need to be sorted and taken care of.  There are a lot of plans that are in the making and I must work to that end because other people are involved and I have made commitments.

Life is truly an adventure.  Whether traveling on the road or going in circles in your own home town.  Everything takes so much time.  Always more than I anticipate.  So, you see, I still have lessons to learn.

Dave is very sick.  He has a sepsis in his blood and his body is infected.  It causes severe pain in joints and bones and in his legs.  He has hot, red discoloration of the lower extremities which is a cellulitis (inflammation of the cells of the surface and underlying areas of the skin.  This is a side effect of diabetes when the blood sugars are not under control.  The sepsis affects several different parts of the body.  The body starts using its own muscle to fight the infection which cause high lactic acid build up in his system.  He often wretches without results which is very painful.  It is difficult for Dave to walk or even to lie down because of the pain.  He needs all the prayers he can get.  I’ll probably be in Dutch when he reads this.  I’m just reporting the facts!  And there are a lot of facts I’m NOT reporting.  To a writer this is like getting up close and personal headline news.  I do not mean to sensationalize this but this blog is becoming my journal also and I want to document what is going on.

My day consisted of running several errands that could not be put off due to needing to put into motions certain things that had to happen so results would be done by a certain date.  Accomplished everything that was on My Monday’s list.  Still one or two more other things that have cropped up since then.  We are transferring to Medicare on August 1, 2015 and lots of situations must be put into motion, called about, signed off, etc…  With me being gone some things had to wait until I returned to be accomplished and now we are down to the wire.

I went by to see Dave at the hospital but he was feeling too sick to really visit so I only stayed about 1 hour.  Home now and hopefully early to bed.  I had a rough night last night.  I slept like a baby in every bed I stayed in while on my trip but last night my sleep evaded me.  And now I am sleepy and it is only 8:18 p.m.  I’m still not totally unpacked and put away.  Just thought I’d throw that in.

Dave has two large tables set up in the formal dining room strewn with papers that he is organizing.  He thought He would be finished by tonight.  Now they sit abandoned and silent and look rather forlorn.  It is a different house without his presence.  I know he is coming home.  He may have a long road to travel to get where he wants to get but I know he can do it.  We live one day at a time.  As I’ve said before, each day is full of decisions and choices.  The choice we make today will affect our tomorrow, out next week and ultimately our whole life.  Think about your choices today.

I think this is an excellent place to write the wisdom I heard today.  I met a super young man today who helped me with the IPhone at AT&T store in Madison.  He was young, intelligent, extremely educated in the workings of the IPhone and helped me with a problem I had with mine.  As we spoke to each other I could see his joy and excitement for life.  I asked him what his wisdom would be to the world.  The following are his exact words (I’m getting the knack of recording verbatim and type it as such.  His wisdom fits in with the above paragraph.  Listen closely to Linelle’s words.  Thanks Linelle for sharing your wisdom with me.

Lilnellle’s wisdom:  “So my piece of wisdom to my younger self would be to not worry about the small things, and just keep going.  That’s the biggest focus, just keep going.  Things change over time, views change, perspectives change.  In the grand scheme of things if you keep going you’ll get to somewhere brighter.”

And that is my hope for today, that Dave and I will keep on going and “get to somewhere brighter”!

JUST KEEP GOING

By Kathleen Martens

July 7 2015

Sometimes it seems we worry

About all the small little things,

Frustration seems to rear its head

Unhappiness it brings.

I tell myself not to fret

For there is too much of life to live,

Fretting creates worry debt

And has nothing at all to give.

Instead of being in a bog

Just keep on and keep on going,

And before you know it

Your heart will be glowing.

Over time things will change,

And views also will

Give yourself a full range

In a place to be silent and still

There truly is a grand scheme,

Allow your load to be lighter.

If you just keep on going

You will get somewhere brighter.

Thank you Linelle for the inspiration to write this poem.

INSPIRATION:  BREATHING NEW LIFE INTO ANOTHER PERSON!

One last thing to remember. “If you want to accomplish something, start today.  We are not promised tomorrow!  When tomorrow no longer comes for us we may not finish what we started but we’ll have had fun accomplishing what we did get done.” (Kathleen’s wisdom)

Monday July 6, 2015  BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN

Just when you think you have everything planned…

More of that later.  Up early, Dave at 5:00, me at 7:30.  I’m getting used to the time change (excuse?).  Or maybe it’s the late nights up writing my blog.  I’m only up late because I’m not doing it in the morning like I used to.  Well, let’s put it this way, I’m not on my “regular” schedule just yet.  It’s coming.  First I must finish all the unpacking and organizing (which is taking way too long).  The next is reclaiming my mornings and the last is to get to bed early.

I promised myself this morning I would be in bed early tonight.  Well it is almost 10:30 and I am just having my dinner (2^nd dinner) and typing my blog.  Ate a salad I made for lunch which did not get eaten and a cup of stewed greens.  YUM!  Had everything organized last night so I could just step right into my list from a few days ago that I wrote on the blog.  Had all the phone numbers in order, called a lot of the places, made excellent headway and was going to eat lunch and then leave to do all my errands when my day had a bit of about face.  My plans were laid, I was organized, I had planned everything down to the “T”.  And then…

Well, I just arrived home from visiting Dave at the hospital!  That was not in my plans.  Nor was his getting sick.  Dave went out to breakfast with his men friends, which he does each  Monday morning.  He felt fine, acted fine and them whammy!  He told me he was cold and shivering, then his stomach hurt, then he started shaking from the cold, then he needed a throw-up bag, then he went to bed and then he was in excruciating pain with his lower back.  We had him accessed over the phone with instructions to get him to emergency room. This all took about two hours from first chills to hospital.  Had I left earlier I would not have been here to take him to the hospital.  I have never seen Dave quite so sick.  He is the type of man who never complains, plays everything down and keeps very quiet when it comes to his pain or discomfort.  For him to agree to go to the hospital told me all I needed to know.  I knew to take him seriously.  Just an hour before he wouldn’t even agree to just go to urgent care to be looked up.  The pain level was a 10.

Sunday night Dave looked very flushed and his face was broken out.  I could tell something was not quite right even then.  But there was no complaint so I left well enough alone.  I think it was already brewing even before that.  At E.R. he had a high fever, the chills were somewhat better but the pain was intolerable.  He was made comfortable with drugs, calmed down considerably and the shivers stopped.  Lots of test were started with blood work.  He had an infection but the source was unknown.  When he arrived at the hospital he was disrobed from the waist up.  Nothing could be found.  A while later when a nurse was in the room and the doctors had already gone to the next patient.  I happened to think about something I saw on his lower leg the night I arrived home.  His leg looked swollen and very red and tender.  I told the nurse that no one had looked at his legs and I thought Dave should undress so that his legs could be examined.  After seeing his legs the nurse called the doctors back in.  One of the doctor came in, touched Dave’s leg and felt the heat coming from the red area and said he was being admitted as an inpatient, which means at least two nights in the hospital and would be reassessed at that time.  The doctor felt that the redness and swelling was the source of the blood infection.  So, that is where Dave is and has already been told he will likely be there at least one more night.  After that time passes and He has a lot of antibiotics pumped into him they will reassess the situation.  This kind of infection can do a lot of damage real quick.  His blood sugar was also way out of whack.  WELCOME TO HIS FIRST DAY OF RETIREMENT!  His diagnosis at this time is cellulitis.

For those of you who believe in prayer I ask that you will pray for his recovery to be without complications.

I came home in the afternoon and accomplished a couple of time sensitive situations that Dave wanted me to take care of, packed a bag for Dave and then headed back to the hospital.  Stayed there until after dark and when I left it was pouring down rain.  Hard to see all the way home but I made it.  Hey, if I could travel 11,024 miles all by myself across country I could defeat a torrential rain storm in the dark!  Again, reality struck.  I walked into this big house with all these empty rooms and no husband waiting for me.  I wondered if this was how Dave felt when he came home to this house every night for 4 months?  It made me feel guilty.  Dave made certain to never make me feel guilty for going on this trip but I must admit I did a good number on myself, of doing just that, when I came home both times from the hospital.  I guess I am still learning from this journey.  Maybe I will never quit learning from it.

Dave is 6 miles away at St. Mary’s Hospital.  I feel as if he is a million miles away.  I do not like it when he suffers and it makes me feel sad to know he never complains and often suffers in silence.  I have never known anyone like my husband.  He is so selfless and always puts me and others first.  He will sacrifice for others, he will bear pain without complaint to do something for someone else and he never ever steps into the limelight.  He is one of the most intelligent men I know and never has a need to put it on display.  He is amazing with facts and figures and trivia regardless the topic.  Personality wise Dave and I are polar opposites.  Clothes wise; polar opposites.  Food wise, you got it, polar opposites.  Yet, our hearts are connected with a thread so strong and so tight that we are bound together for life.  And I want him around for a lot more years.  God shined down on me the day I met Dave.  And if you read the story in my blog how we met you will remember that God put a love in my heart for him before I even met him or knew his name.  Go to UNCATEGORIZED and read DAY 111.  I accidently did not put it into the Travel Log.  You can look it up and read how Dave and I met and the “rest of the story”.

I am believing in God’s healing and restorative power.  Put that together with intentional thinking and combine it with what Dave said last night, I think Dave has a bright future!

AND TURNS THEM TO GOLD

By Kathleen Martens

July 6, 2015

When the road gets a bit rough and weary

It does not mean we must be dreary.

But rather give thanks in the situation

For there is no hope in obliteration.

God takes the trials and turns them to gold,

Whatever the difficulty we must be bold.

For God has a way of taking our pain

And turning the outcome into one of gain.

We trust Him when the times are right,

We must trust Him in the darkest night.

When we reach out our hand He is there,

Holding us tight because He always cares.

God is our fortress through all our trials,

He walks beside us mile after mile.

He never tires and He never sleeps

And all His promises He always keeps.

He has promised to love me and light my path,

He showers me with joy and not with wrath.

Whether on the mountain top or in the valley

His strength is the source of my rally.

When I fall down He picks me up

And His word is a banquet where I can sup.

He is with me through every sorrow

And I know, He’s in all my tomorrows.

Through all sickness and even unto death

His spirit is my eternal breath.

So I will thank Him IN ALL THINGS

And give Him all praise for the joy He brings.

Thank you to those of you who have asked me to continue blogging.  I may do so as I find it easy to compose a poem even on the keyboard.  I always thought I could only do it with deep concentration with a pen in hand.  It is actually quite easy writing on the computer because I can type my words so much quicker than I can write them out long hand.  I may also start writing in the mornings again as I like getting up about 4:30 or 5:00 a.m.  To rise so early I must be disciplined with my bedtime.  I’m going to work toward that.  You may invite your friends to read this blog but be certain and tell them that the address must be typed into the URL box because it is not a public forum and will not pop up when googled.  I purposely did that so the information I write is not for the entire public to hear.  I don’t mind if it is passed around to friends and their friends.  It is a little easier to control that way.

It is now 11:57 and I have a makeover day to do tomorrow.  So many more things I wish I had time to share on this blog/journal/ diary of sorts.  I just hope I remember it all.

Thanks for listening to my heart tonight.

Sunday Sabbath July 5, 2015  THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE!

I LOVE SUNDAY SABBATH.  I have chosen to honor God on this day.  To keep it holy.  To rest and be restored in body, mind, and spirit.  Sunday Sabbath is set aside as an oasis in busy world.  It is as if God is giving me a gift with permission to use it.  “Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy”. Exodus 20:8

I believe keeping the Sabbath Holy is to refrain from working your regular work.  A time of rest for mind and body, from that which taxes your mental capacity all week or your physical body.  To refrain from doing the toil of your everyday life.  A time to reflect and think on God.  To serve Him with your worship and praise and fellowship as a community with other believers.  This is my concept of keeping the Sabbath Holy.  I know that it is necessary for some people to work on calendar Sunday but Sabbath can be honored on another day.  A day set aside when you are not required to report to duty.  A time to think on God and do something you enjoy doing that will give you a reprieve from that which is your regular toil.  Try it.  Take time out to rest in the presence of God, to do something that refreshes your heart and soul and give yourself permission to use the gift that God has actually given to us as a commandment.  How awesome it is that God purposely tells us to rest from our work.  Not only do we have permission to have a Sabbath rest once a week, I also enjoy taking “little Sabbaths” each and every day.  I stop and just turn off the world and have a conversation with the Lord and just rest in his presence and wait to hear the words He has for me.  If I wait, He always has words that he speaks into my spontaneous thoughts.  I listen and then I write when the words start coming.

God is a good God.  His words are always full of love and exhortation.  He builds me up, never tears me down.  He fills me with loving thoughts, never negative ones.  I just wait and listen and ours spirits experience an intimate relationship.  Did you know that the Lord can and wants to impress His thoughts into yours.  The more we do this, the more we have the mind of Christ.  The more we become like the one we follow.  I love this Sabbath time with the Lord daily.  While on my trip I often did not have pen in hand when I spoke with my God.  I was in the car a lot with all his majesty and glory surrounding me in the mountains, and rocks, and valleys, and oceans, and lakes, and wildlife.  I glorified Him in my thoughts and in my heart for all He created and continues to create.  Sometimes when I look at something he has made like a rainbow I just know He put it there just for me!  There are so many things I just see that no one else in the entire world will ever see.  It is but a glimpse, come and gone, and I am the only one there to see it.  These are the little gifts and jewels He sprinkles into my day.  So…as I drove I did not do much writing but He put beautiful thoughts of love and encouragement into my heart and I cherished them.

Usually when I write I write everything out longhand.  I love the feel of a pen in hand, my journal on my lap and the peace and comfort of my surroundings as I lean into the Lord (figuratively speaking) and listen for what He speaks.  I am alone.  I am quite.  I am silenced from the world around me and I start worshiping and thanking God for His love and wonder and majesty.  I visualize Him and think of Him as the person He was walking on this earth, I think about Him sitting at the right hand of God, and I visualize all the praise taking place around Him in eternity.  And this same Lord, through His Holy Spirit, lives within me.  How awesome is that.  I was created in the likeness of God that our spirits would dwell together.  And I sit and listen.  Sometimes I ask questions.  Sometimes I put on instrumental music by David Hollandsworth and it just seems to reach to the heavens.  And I “hear” God speak to me.  It is more of an impression of thoughts or images that come flooding out of my pen onto the paper and I just write down all that flows from me during those few moments.  And later I read it.  To me it is beautiful.  No beautiful writing, but beautiful words that touch my heart, that give me strength and encouragement and sometimes chastisement and directions of what I should do.  Given in love which gives me positive awareness of which path I should follow.  And I ask now:  “Lord what words do You have for me this night”?

Here are the words I have felt impressed to write from the spontaneous thoughts coming into my heart.

You are My beloved child whom I have chosen.  I have chosen you to love others and be My light to a dark world.  I have chosen you to smile and let My smile shine from your countenance.  Your journey is not over but just beginning.  I have promised to bring those to you that need my touch, those who need their eyes open to see the truth of who I am.  I am blessing you that you will bless others in my name that they would feel My touch, and desire a relationship with Me.  Just be yourself.  Be who I created you to be.  Though some will try to tear you down, always know that My strength is sufficient for you.  You can do all things through Me for it is my strength that lives within you.  Forgive others as I have forgiven you.  .”…clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Put love over all these because it will bind them all together in perfect unity…  (Colossians 3:  12-14 paraphrased) and lives will be changed.  Go and rest in Me and I will restore your strength.  You are my beloved whom I love.

And the above is the first time I have sat at a computer and asked God to give me the words He wants me to hear this night.  I have journals filled with God’s loving words to me.  If these words touch your life in some way then I am honored to share them with you.  Some may raise their eyebrows with skepticism and that is okay too.  But you’ll never know until you enter into a relationship with the Lord and ask Him for yourself what words He has for you.  The more you ask to hear God speak, the easier it becomes to hear His voice and recognize it.  If you desire Him to speak in your life, read the scripture for it is through His scripture that He speaks to us.

I had no idea this was going to be my blogging this night.  I just assumed I would share my Sabbath day with you.  Well, here it is in a nutshell.  Sunday morning service at 8:30 a.m., a wonderful time of quick exchanges with friends I haven’t seen for four months, an even more amazing worship service and then a sermon about becoming a community of God.  More visiting afterward and then Dave and I hightailed it to Costco to rejoin after our card had elapsed on Feb 28^th, just when I was scheduled to leave.  It was nice we waited because they gave us a $10 gift certificate for rejoining (which we were going to do anyway).  Shopped at Costco, then went to grocery store for toothpaste, came home and I prepared dinner (midday meal) while Dave deboned the chicken.  After dinner I called my cousin Joyce and I talked her ear off.  Then I rested, fighting sleep (I don’t like to take naps) so I got up and continued unpacking.  I know this unpacking talk sounds like a lot but let me tell you, it is taking me longer to unpack than it did to pack.  It is taking time to reorganize my closets (yes closet with an “S”).  When I left it was snowing.  I have returned in my Rip Van Winkle state to summer in the 80’s.  I must change my winter closet into a summer closet, which means swapping my clothes from one room to another.  We must actually have two very separate wardrobes to accommodate our extreme temperatures.  So that is part of my reorganizing.  Dave went back to church to hear Pastor speak on “Let’s talk about Israel”.  I decided to stay home and finish my Sabbath by writing my blog to you and now it is already later than I hoped.  The alarm is set for 5:00 a.m. in the morning.  Reality is knocking.

Davie is in the other room and it was so quiet I asked him if he was in there.  He said yes.  I asked him if he was sleeping.  He said no he was thinking.  I asked him what about.  He said oh just this and that.  I asked him if he had any wisdom for me tonight.  Here is Dave’s quick response.

Dave’s wisdom:  “If you don’t like your present circumstances do something about it”.

I asked him where that came from.  He said “My brain”.  Then he continued with…I’ve found if you stop and think on things long enough it seems things seem to fall into place.

Hmm…now that got me to thinking! Just what is taking so long to fall into place?  I didn’t ask any more questions.  Every man is entitled to his own personal thoughts.  I do like that it sounds like things are falling into place…  I sure do love my husband!

Tomorrow is a busy scheduled day to tie up a lot of loose ends before I open my Big MAC and put on my creative hat.  I hope my brain isn’t rusty.  I’ll just ask God to help me because He is always there for me.

I don’t know how many of you are still following my blog.  Let me know if you would like me to continue and then again, maybe I will just continue anyway.  I’ll have to see how my life settles in.

SUNDAY SABBATH

By Kathleen Martens

July 5, 2015

Oh how busy life can be

Time for me is never free.

But one day finally comes

Set aside for God’ Son.

Sunday Sabbath worship time

Ah a day oh so fine.

To be with God all day long

As over me He sings His song.

And I sing in repose

The most tranquil time I know

Honor and worship to my King

Joy and peace is what He brings.

I love this time with my Lord

And my hours I secretly hoard

That to Him I freely give

All my life for Him I live.

Good night.  Sweet Dreams

I arrived home BEFORE Dave retired.  Tomorrow is his last day of work.  Not only did I arrive home for that occasion but I actually accomplished what I set out to do.  I wanted to see so many people and I saw many of them,  I didn’t have a chance to see everyone I would have liked to but I still feel very fortunate to have been able to reconnect so many as I discussed in yesterday’s blog,

Well, someone was the first to call me to find out my mystery of “doing a first” and she got the story.  She couldn’t stop laughing (at my expense!).  I was laughing too!  I did another first again today.  It may be a good thing this trip is over because no telling how many “FIRSTS” I could get myself into.  Some of the things I only did once:  Lost my check book  (I didn’t do it again).  I didn’t do it again because I am still not signed onto our account because of being out of state when I lost the checks.  Oops!

I lost my keys once and after that I kept my keys in a very certain place when not engaged in using them.  That is, until I got home.  I went down to change of load of clothes and there were my keys on the washing machine.  I’m sure glad I saw them and put them into my purse.  I leave early in the morning to take my car into the dealership to be detailed cleaned.  I love it when my car comes back absolutely like brand new.

I only took one person’s key with me when left her house and it is still on my key ring.  I remembered that out when I tried to open my door with it.

One thing I did do more than just “a first” was get lost.  I was “lost” a lot but I just made it into an adventure and then purposely got lost more.  Of course I had my Garmond with me the second half of the trip so I was never really lost.  When I got majorly lost, like take a wrong freeway from the the six freeways that were splitting up and I had to go off to the left but to be sure and be in the right third lane so I could make a quick right curve and then get in the center lane so I would be going to Fort Worth instead of to Dallas, now that was really getting lost.  It was amazing how many re-dos I would have to re-do to get undone.  But…I never lost my temper with myself and always found myself before I ended up “lost as a goose”.  Being “lost as a goose” is one thing I always remember my mother telling me she was.  I NEVER want to be lost as a goose because them someone has to come and find  you.  When my mother  was lost as a goose in the downtown L.A. area one time when she was driving down to see Dave and I in Orange County, Dave’s father had to drive all the way out to where she was lost and then have her follow him home.

I only left my clothes at someone’s house as a first.  I never did that again.  Thankfully, Cynthia mailed my package of clothes to me.  And wouldn’t you know it, I actually went back by to see her on my return trip.  I could have picked them up!

Well, maybe I’ll tell you the whole story about  my first time of losing my phone.  No time now but I’ll do a followup blog when I have all my contemplating over about my trip.  I will, however, tell  you about a first I did today.  I stayed at a very nice airbnb last night.  Everything was fastidiously clean and neat.  I don’t think I could live quite that neat if my life depended upon it.  Well, by the time I finished with it, it wasn’t quite as perfect as before.  I went to bed at 3:00 a.m.  There was a ceiling fan and I love sleeping with a ceiling fan blowing a breeze on me.  This fan had a little rebellious spirit for living in such a neat house so it decided to be a clutter to my ears.  There is a little chain that hangs from it to turn the lights on or off.  As the fan blades make their rotation a slight jiggle takes place and that little chain jumped at each rotation and went click, click, click and so on and so on…  I don’t mind clutter around me but I don’t like clutter in my ears.  So I decided at 3:00 in the morning to stop that little bugger from jumping and clanging and clicking.  I looked for something I could tie around it.  Nothing.  I had one pair of dirty smelly socks I had worn for two days so I decided against that.  I didn’t want to add any aromas flying around cluttering my nostrils.  Ah…I thought.  I found a pair of clean underpants that would work.  (The operative word is clean).  So I tied them in a knot, slipped the chain end through and my problem was solved.  No more sound.  I drifted off to a restful but short sleep thinking to myself to remember and get those panties in the morning.

About 2:00 p.m. this afternoon while I was in Iowa I happened to think about the fan and wondered if I had turned it off.  Then my eyes opened real wide and I remembered what I had left there…my under drawers tied in a know around that little gold chain where another guest would be coming and looking up at that fan.  Would the man see them up there.  I hoped he would but I hoped he wouldn’t.  I couldn’t believe I did that.  About that time my son Courtland calls and I tell him what happened.  He said don’t worry about it, just call him and tell him you left your granny panties hanging on his fan and make sure and let him know they are clean.  So I did just that.  Mr. Don was laughing about as hard as I was trying not to.  He said he was going to tell everyone about that but in order to protect the innocent he wouldn’t use my name.  I told him I was going to write about it in my blog and I was going to tell everybody his name!    Like I’ve said before, every day I am learning.  What I learned today is to not use my underwear to buffer the sound of of a clicking chain.  They are too expensive.  Those unders cost me $9.00 a pair!  Next time I’ll use my dirty sock.  I get my toe socks on sale at Walmart after Christmas for half price and they are only $150 a pair!  Actually, we both had a good laugh over that.  He was thankful that I had given him the heads-up on my dilemma. He said He would find something else that would quiet the fan chain.  Thanks Mr. Don for not making me feel bad.  It was a pleasure staying at your Campbell House Airbnb in Lincoln Nebraska.  If you’ve never used this service go online to Airbnb.com and see what kind of travel deals you can get all over the world.  Way below hotel costs and a lot more fun.

I now have about a week’s worth of work getting everything back in shape in regards to all the STUFF I had in my car.  Because Dave is so allergic to cat and dog dander I am washing everything item of clothing, towel, blanket, etc that traveled with me.  I’m on my fourth load of laundry and have several more to go.  At least my favorite pant (because they still fit) are washed and ready to go when I get up in the morning.  I am taking my car to my dealership to have it detailed in the morning.  It will be there at least four hours and maybe longer.  I suspect “the longer” when they see just how embedded it is with bug death on it.  It is quite gross.  Both inside and out.  I have to leave here at 8:30 a.m. and then I will have a shuttle return me home and pick me up.

When I drove into Wisconsin it was like night and day from the rest of the country.  Remember how I commented about all the dry and dying trees in Yosemite and other parks I visited.  So much brown, and dust, and dying grasses made me sad for our earth and especially for our country.  I saw half empty lakes and dried up river beds.  I saw mountains that usually have snowcap all year but the snow is already gone.  And the rivers are dropping.  Even the Columbia River Gorge that flows as a border between Southern Washington and Northern Oregon has a lot less water than normal.  And I drove up from a somewhat dry area, but not as dry as the deserts and the south area and Wisconsin is like an unreal oasis of green.  So many different colors of green all in one photo snap.  The light green  of new crops pushing through soil,dark rich greens of crops  of opening leaves and nutrients going to work wonders.  I wish I could describe in true detail how fulfilling it was for me to see the sea of green before me.  I wish a camera would do justice to what my eyes see.

SINCE I AM SLEEPY

by Kathleen Martens

July 2, 2015

Since I’m so sleepy

I shall lay down my head

Before it falls off me

For then I’d be dead.

And I have requests

That my head must do

For it always tells me

How to tie my shoe.

And it’s just so much smarter

Than my hands or feet,

For it knows when I’m hungry

And tells me to eat!

So I shall go sleep

But my fan chain is quiet

Having panties in the air

Is not tonight’s riot.

Goodnight one and all

Go rest and be still

Let your brain think on God

And with peace you will fill.

I do want to tell you what it felt like driving into a green paradise.  The Wisconsin terrain is very hilly and graceful with curves and gentle sloping sides.  Hill after hill was either growing crops or had just been mowed and waiting for harvest.  Graceful lines of smiles were cut into the soil as row planting was done like stair steps.  I wish I could have stopped and taken photos.  The sunlight was coming at an angle and creating beautiful bright hills full of the promise of autumn’s bounty.  But it was the green that caught my eyes.  Every color of green you can imagine.  Huge fields of the lightest shade of new plant growth, silver greens, forest greens, apple greens and blue greens could be seen all in one eye view. And the smell!!! I rolled down my window to a brisk 67 degree temp which was so refreshing, having come from a 97 degree day in Nebraska the day before.  Fresh mowed grass along both sides of the road mingled with all the sensory pleasure to create a full picture.  I just breathed and breathed it in as my eyes soaked in the visual pleasure.  And was there a place to pull over and snap a photo?  NO, OF COURSE NOT.  As I drove the five miles from the highway to where I live I did have the luxury of stopping and taking some local photos right around where I live and travel.  I tried to download some but only my tree (not really one I own but one I love around the corner from where I live) did get uploaded onto the blog.  Be sure and look at it.  To give you a perspective of how big the trunk of that old oak tree is, it takes 4 of my arm spans to circle around its girth.  I have literally taken about one thousand photos of that tree in every season, every time of day, every light, and from every angle.  Panoramas to up close and personal.

I just noticed a couple of other photos finally showed up on my blog below.  They are both right here close to where I live.  I pass by these places on my way to where I buy food.  We have no retail close by us but what I see when I drive to and fro sure is pretty and relaxing, even in winter.  After driving in all the cities I have have just come from it makes Wisconsin my #1 Favorite place to live.  I wouldn’t mind staying a part of each year in different states but I will always come home to Wisconsin.   I have some other favorite states picked out but will share those later too.

Good night by beloved friends and family (and new friends as well)!

Kathleen