Friday August 12 2016  A PICTURE INTO THE PAST: Esther Ruth 

Following is the biography I wrote about Aunt Esther in 2011 for our family reunion.  I will close my blog telling a bit more about her.

“ESTHER RUTH CARTER

Born 1928

Married three times

Outlived each husband

 

Willard

Joe

Conrad

 

Children:

George Edward

Shirley Karen

Dale Hallman

Janey Beth

Bill

Bob

 

My precious Aunt Esther!  I suppose I must share her with some other cousins but when I am with her she is all mine.  At least that is how she makes me feel.  From my earliest memory of her, she has been an angel in the disguise of my aunt.  God graced her with a spirit of refined beauty.  Well, she is not quite perfect but her spirit is one that is only given out to humans occasionally.  As her daughter so eloquently stated, “her love language is through acts of service for others.”  And I know Janey is right.

*Esther has survived three husbands and has experienced the death of three children.  Her first two children died within weeks of birth.  She reared 4 children and lost one as an adult due to a tornado accident.  She has not been spared pain.  Somehow, the Lord’s peace and comfort have enabled her to endure one moment at a time and her gentle kind spirit has never faltered. 

Esther was proprietor of Carter’s Grocery for many years.

The world is more beautiful because Aunt Esther lives in it.  Her gifts are varied but she has been especially blessed with the gift of hospitality, always giving to others the comfort of bed, food, love, and care.   When you leave Aunt Esther’s presence, you know you have experienced a little more of God’s love.  She reflects that love.  She has truly been God’s hand extended.

Quilt making, sewing, gardening, cooking, and biscuit perfection, are just some of her many talents.  She is always cooking up something and it’s usually for the company that’s coming. 

She enjoys reading her Bible and talking on the phone to her sisters.  She loves to sing and a favorite song she sings around the house is “IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL”.  Her family is a great joy to her and she is an active grandmother to all her grandchildren.  How fortunate they are to have a grandmother named Esther Ruth.

Aunt Esther, words cannot express how much I love you and probably speak for all who are here tonight.  We want you to know how much we love and appreciate you!  We remember you for your generosity, for reaching out to others, making great meals for all of us and taking food to those who need your care.  The sharing of your garden has been such a blessing to family, friends, and church body.  Your freezer is always full of the morsels from your summer labor and you are so quick to share what you have.  We are so blessed to have you in our family.

GOD BLESSED THE EARTH THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!”

 *Since the biography above was written Esther has since experienced the death of her beloved daughter Janey Beth in 2015 due to cancer.  Janey’s spirit was every bit as beautiful as her mother’s.  Though they are separated now, it is just for awhile.  I truly believe that each time one of our clan enters the gates of heaven there is an entire host of our family members waiting to greet him/her!

Esther’s CERTIFICATE OF HONOR, FIRST PLACE AWARD IS FOR  “#1 MOTHER AND ANGEL IN DISGUISE.”  Her children are quoted as saying, “We will always remember you for opening your heart and home to family, never asking anything in return.”  Esther is remembered as “A woman of substance blessed with strong faith and strong love.”

God truly blessed our entire family through Esther.  She is an amazing woman.  She is currently 88 years old and still as sweet and gentle as ever.  I believe she just brims over with the love of God.  From my earliest recollection she always seemed to have a love and closeness with the Lord like none other I have known.  That is what I strive to have.  I have no memory of Esther ever being other than her sweet self.  Now don’t believe for a moment that she withholds what she wants to say, regardless of what it might be, the difference is, she says EVERYTHING with such a sweet demeanor and gentle voice that at first you don’t realize you are being chastised. I have never heard her raise her voice.  That wasn’t quite the atmosphere in my own home.  Both my mama and Esther were strong, capable and resourceful women, Esther just had a gentler approach when she meted out the discipline.

Looking back over the years I realize that Esther is a woman of great fortitude and strength.  I just called her and asked her where strength comes from?  She simply said, “It is help from the Lord”.   

When I questioned Esther a few moments ago I asked her what caused her first two full term babies to die so quickly after birth.  They each lived a few days.  She gave me an answer I have never heard before but I will share her memories, not what someone else told me.  Esther said she didn’t have enough food to eat while she was pregnant and couldn’t make enough milk for her babies and because of their weakened condition at birth they could not survive. 

Esther later gave birth to another son who was born two weeks before I was born.  Dale survived and still lives today.  He is a man of few words so I don’t believe he necessarily appreciates all my chatter when we are together but he is always so sweet, polite, and kind.  I love him and his wife dearly.  His wife is just as sweet as he is.  Because we have always lived so far apart we have never truly become acquainted. 

When Dale was a bit shy of his second birthday his father was involved in a farm tractor accident.  His legs were cut off below his torso and he died a few hours after he was flown to Little Rock Arkansas.  He had lost too much blood and could not survive.  So there was Esther, one surviving son and no husband.  It should be understood that these were difficult and scarce times.  Food was scarce, there was no such thing as social help for the needy in the way of food stamps or housing.  Her mother and father still had many children at home and could barely feed them.  And, so widow and widower unite to become a new family.  I don’t know how soon after her husband died but she married husband Joe.  Joe had two young boys whose mother had also died recently.  Each parent adopted the other’s children and Esther accepted and loved those two boys as if they were her own.  Their son Bill was killed several years ago when a tornado  hit his home in Arkansas while he was in bed.  His wife was severely injured.  She and Joe had a daughter who was a great Joy to Esther.  But life still wasn’t easy for her.

Esther worked like a man to help support the family.  She invested in a wayside gas station and general store that became their greatest source of income.  There was a house on the property and from the time she moved in it became a welcoming beacon to any and all family members who passed through Arkansas.  It is still one of my favorite places to go.  It is like walking into the pages of the past; a screened in front porch with a porch swing, a beautiful garden surrounding both sides of the house, and a treasure trove of retro furniture and décor.  It feels like home when we drive down for a visit. 

Over the years things changed.  The old store and gas station was torn down and she relocated the gas station and store across the highway from her home.  She eventually sold the gas station and store.  Unknown to her, about a year later the the highway department exercised imminent domain in order to widen the highway and new owners lost the gas station and she lost most of her front yard.  The highway is very close to her porch swing and it is difficult to talk and be heard on the screened in porch.  She lost much of her garden area but many flowers were salvaged and planted further back before the bulldozers came through.  And Esther survived.  Joe died and she survived once again.

Later in life Esther married again but they each kept their own homes because at their age they knew that it was inevitable that one would probably outlive the other.  And Esther moved back into her home after husband number three died.  She is a strong woman; a woman of fortitude and strength.  She has been an unbelievable role model for me all these years.  Even as I aged I never stopped learning from her. 

God gave special talents and blessings to each one born to William and Gracie.  Each one has passed on special memories, traits, and knowledge to me.  The generation I am from were taught to respect and honor their elders and so we did.  But it also seemed as if our aunts and uncles honored their nieces and nephews as well. 

Yes, times were rough and tough and sometimes hungry for some, but the experience of coming from a networking family such as my mom was born into is such a blessing.  It is lacking in today’s world.  Just to honor a parent seems to be lacking in most families.  What a shame that values such as fortitude and endurance seem to be out of vogue.  It sometimes seems that those who have the least are the ones that reach out in compassion and give the most when others are in need.  And when it was family, you didn’t even have to ask.  I thank God for all the help along the way that we received as kids growing up in a family with eleven aunts and uncles, and dozens of cousins.  Our family reunions are always a lot of fun!

AND YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD A FAMILY OF MORE TALKATIVE WOMEN!  YOU CAN’T GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE.

 

EVERY ONE OF THEM GAVE ME A JEWEL

By Kathleen Martens

August 12, 2016

 

No matter how life can overwhelm

Or when the sky seems bleak and grey.

When you are part of family such as ours

You are offered food and a place to stay.

 

Someone always comes to bat

To help out in a pinch.

Even though it may mean sacrifice

And life won’t be a cinch.

 

Never have I seen another family

Who has cared for one another

Such as the siblings of my mama,

Nine girls and three brothers.

 

They weathered storms as little ones,

Big brother standing up for the tots,

He seemed to ire his father’s fury.

And it happened quite a lot.

 

Twelve survived from thirteen,

Little Helen went to heaven too soon.

Broken spirits of little kids,

As adults sing another tune.

 

Bits and pieces shattered amidst

Those formative early years.

And sorrow left in broken hearts

That had cried a lot of tears.

 

Each one grew wings as they healed.

Their talents blossomed and grew.

These are the aunts and uncles I love

And our hours together too few.

 

And every one of them gave me a jewel

That I saved upon my shelf,

It was their fortitude, strength, and resilience,

Of how, they reinvented themselves.

 

Lord, thank You that my mother survived that I might have life.

Thank You Lord for the life You have given me.

Thank You for the knowledge of who You are!

Thank You for all my aunts and uncles.

Thank You for their influence and love they have showered upon me.

Thank You for my sister’s photo collection that prompted me to write this series.

Thank You for all that I am learning through this endeavor.

Thank You for the beautiful spirit in the man I married!

Thank You for telephones.

 

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU!

 

I LOVE YOU AUNT ESTHER.  IT WAS SO GOOD TO TALK TO YOU TODAY.