Tuesday July 12 2016  REMEMBER TO BE THANKFUL

Imagine this scenario:  What must it feel like to wake up each morning wondering if this is the day your son will die?  By outward appearance your five week old son is beautiful and a picture of health.  But deep inside, many months before birth a cell mutated and caused havoc inside. 

Today I captured the likeness of this little guy on camera.  A small token for the parents to cherish in the future and to remind others of the short life he lived.  Most of my long term readers may remember my mentioning NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP, a non-profit organization that recruits professional photographers to donate photo sessions to parents whose babies die before birth, during birth, or shortly after birth.  For many parents this is the only professional photo session they will have of their child, and with their child.

Today I spent an afternoon doing just that.  I have photographed hundreds of session over the past 10 years, and each one I do, is not any easier than the last one I did.  When these photo session no longer bother me I will stop volunteering.  To be truthful, afterwards I am drained and need an outlet.  I must not divulge personal information about my clients to others so I have just keep everything to myself.

Every time I think about resigning it is because of the emotional pain of experiencing the parent’s grief.  However, it seems as if God just keeps giving me enough strength to do one more.  I have had amazing opportunities to pray with families, work with them afterwards as they go through the healing process, and sometimes just to be a listening ear.  I am one of the few people in the world that “knew” their baby and the parents sometimes feel a bond with me.  I have had opportunity to capture many live births by being in the delivery room and taking photos as the baby is handed to the parents so they can hold it in its few moments between life on earth and its life in eternity.  I believe that someday I will have the opportunity to meet each one of these precious little people in heaven.

Dave will not come into my office when I work on any demise post production.  He never sees the photos or presentations I prepare.  He would rather I not talk about the sessions at all.  There is no one to tell.  So I sit with the Lord, I cry, I pray for the families, and I compose a poem.  Sometimes I give the poems to the family, sometimes I do not.  It just depends on the circumstances.  On the occasions when I donate my time to photograph the funeral I usually will present them with a copy of the poem I wrote in honor of their child. 

Many people ask why I do this.  I do it because I remember the sorrowful hours I wept non-stop because our son was not expected to live at birth.  I cried and I cried.  I remember the times the NICU called Dave at work to tell him he needed to come to the hospital quickly if he wanted to see his son while he was still living.  I remember my pain regarding all the “what ifs”.  But, in due course, I carried our son out of the hospital, all 4 pounds and 10 ounces of him. YOU SHOULD SEE HIM NOW!

There is so much more to our story, but ultimately, that is why I do these photo sessions for the families who are suffering through such a great loss.  I have but a few Polaroid photos a nurse snapped of our son during those crucial days he was on the critical list.  He had been taken to a different hospital and I wasn’t able to be with him because I remained hospitalized for eight days and was in bad shape myself.  Oh how I cherish those few photos I have even though I still have my son.  Had he died, all I would have are those few little prints that are now old, brittle, and fading.  Once released from the hospital I never missed a day of going to the hospital to be with him, talk to him, and stroke his little body.

I have a feeling I’ll be dragging a cart behind me down the hospital corridors with my camera in tow if I become too weak and old to carry my camera to a session.  I keep “trying” to retire from volunteering but somehow it just doesn’t seem to happen.  

To find out more about this organization please take a look at their website to see the kind of work the volunteer photographers do.  You might be surprised at the beautiful gift of imagery so many photographers give to bless grieving families.  Any donations to the NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP organization will help to continue this work. www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org

When you tuck your healthy, growing child into bed tonight, remember to give God extra thanks for your precious gift of life.  And remember, they are only on loan, because one day, they will walk into their own life.  The only way you can keep them forever is to give them the foundation they need so you can meet them in heaven.

NEVER TAKE FOR GRANTED

By Kathleen Martens

July 12, 2016

 

Oh God,

Let us not ever take for granted

Our precious girls and boys.

Let us always be thankful

Our children bring such joy.

 

Such a beautiful little child

I caressed with gentle touch,

Knowing he would soon be leaving,

Though his time on earth not much.

 

As I looked into his little face

And captured his smile with a click,

Lord, I knew he’d soon behold Your radiance

And his family, he would miss quite a bit.

 

 And I know his parents grieve

Unbearable pain in losing their son,

But for some reason you call him home,

And his life on earth will be done.

 

Wrap Your arms around his parents

And the siblings who too will grieve.

And make Yourself known to them

As Your love they receive.

 

Comfort and be with them

And restore their peace and joy,

That they would be forever grateful

For having known their precious boy.

 

 

 

 

 

God, thank You for using me to touch other’s lives in this small way.

Thank You Lord for breathing life into our son.

Thank You for people with vision to set up such a wonderful organization as NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP.

Thank You for this day on earth.

Thank You for my children.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU. 

REMEMBER, TO BE THANKFUL…AND NEVER TAKE ANYONE’S LIFE FOR GRANTED.