Monday June 6 2016  I AM LEARNING

If you have read my blog very long you have heard me repeat often that “I AM LEARNING”.  And believe me that is so true.  I guess that is a good thing.  You might think that with me being this old I wouldn’t need to learn that much more.   But, for me at least, that is not the case.

I never thought it would be easy to downsize 43 years (plus pre-wed days) of hidden treasures.  It seems every box I open presents its own present, its own endowment to me, tied up in ribbons of sentiment. Between pictures, and dolls, and wall hangings, and our dead parent’s clothing, every box speaks loud and clear of times and places I haven’t thought about in years.  And so why do I keep these things?  I have asked that question over and over.

Well, today I was reading the book, “DOWNSIZING THE FAMILY HOME” by Marni Jameson and there were some very interesting insights as to different reasons we keep such unneeded keepsakes.  And we must ask ourselves what purpose does it have in our lives for the present time?  If you ask different people, you will get many different answers.  Once you figure out why you kept it, you allow your recently found treasure to fulfill that need and then separate from it by either, donating it, giving it away, selling it, or on the rare occasion, keeping it.  I asked my daughter-in-law how it was that she was able to part with almost everything.  I spoke about her answer a few days ago when I said you look at the item, release it, and then remember the people and events that created the memory.  Then you keep the memory of the fun time you had with the people, and not things.

This book reiterated that same premise.  So, I have begun asking myself, why am I keeping this?  And I think I found the answer.  I have kept so many things so that when I looked at them again I would remember the moment in time when I made the memory.  I wanted the thing to remind me of the good time I had with the people.  So now that I know why I kept all this stuff, I figure that opening the box and reliving that memory one more time, that “thing” had done what its purpose was to do and it could now be released.  It will have no meaning to future generations.  It was my memory, my good time.

Now my garage sale pile is growing larger more quickly.  Some of what I kept I am actually going back to reclaim it for the garage sale.  It is the memory I cherish, not the item. 

Except for my time constraint tonight I would share more explicit memories but I have had quite a long day and it is already getting close to my bed time.  I just thought you would like to know that I am making headway.  It is quite a journey and a great big money maker for a lot of enterprises.  As I read in the book, there are 8,000 people a day turning 65 until 2030.  That is a lot of old folks coming along all at once thanks to the end of World War II.  I am one of those early baby boomers.  So, as you can imagine, there is currently a lot of downsizing taking place. 

Dave and I have agreed to do our own downsizing so our children will not have to do it for us.  That will be our late-life gift to them instead of buying them any more gifts.  That way they will have less to downsize later.  See how thoughtful we are?  With our daughter turning 40, I realize all too soon they will need to do their own downsizing.  If I could do it over again I would not do the collecting or buying.  Every time you decide to buy something and take it to live at your house first think about what I just wrote!

THINK BEFORE YOU BUY

By Kathleen Martens

June 6, 2016

Think of all the money you save

When you don’t purchase the newest rave.

That little bauble on the shelf,

Is it really meant for self?

Think ahead about tomorrow

And all the headaches and the sorrows,

When someday you must compromise,

About what is to be downsized.

Just don’t bring unnecessary in,

Treat it as if it is a sin.

Instead, think about what you saved

And your wallet did not cave.

And when you purchase think ahead,

There is a shelf life, then it’s dead.

Perform its funeral harsh and sweet

As its cycle is complete.

And at the end of life’s road

You will have a much lighter load.

That will be your just reward,

Because JUNK you did not hoard!

Thank You God that You promised to meet our NEEDS.

Lord, thank You for opening my eyes to so much I still have to learn.

Thank You Lord for helping me release things.

Thank You God for your loving kindness over me.

Thank You too for my bed.

GOOD NIGHT ONE AND ALL.  GOD BLESS YOU!

Philippians 4:19

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus”

Sunday Sabbath June 5 2016  A GLORIOUS DAY

SUNDAY SABBATH REPREIVE

By Kathleen Martens

June 5, 2016

Gentle breeze to caress the face.

Blue heavens to light the sky

As puffy white clouds

Languidly fly.

A beautiful day

Too good to miss,

So a short blog

Sent with a kiss.

I need to frolic

Like a young colt,

It doesn’t matter

I’m just an old dolt.

My spirit is young

And wants to live

And so the Sabbath

Offers hours to give.

Have a wonderful day

Wherever you are.

I hope it’s beautiful

Both near and far.

Off to the gardens

For a restful reprieve

No blog today

Will you receive.

Thank You God for such a beautiful and glorious day to worship and adore you.

Thank You for the Sunshine and rain.

Thank You for my vision that I can see the miraculous beauty of this day.

Thank You for summer flowers.

Thank You for bees.

MAY GOD BLESS EACH ONE OF YOU ON THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY

Saturday June 4 2016  THE BIRTHDAY MONTH

Today is my friend’s birthday as well as it is one of my sisters’.  Monday is another friend’s birthday.   Friday is my daughter’s birthday, and the day after that another very close friend’s birthday.  The next day is Dave’s sister’s birthday and then his birthday comes that same week.  The 30^th of June would have been Dave’s father’s 123rd birthday had he lived long enough.  He did live to see his 101^st birthday however.  Now he is celebrating with his Lord. 

The milestones of life, one of which is the day we celebrate our birth.  When I was a child birthdays were never an important event in our family.  My mom did try to see that we each had a birthday cake but the thought of a party was never even in the equation of life.  We were too poor, had too many kids, and mama was just too overworked keeping life and limb together during the years we lived in the projects.

However, I do remember one birthday party I had.  It was my eighth year.  I guess I probably just wore mama down.  She allowed me to make invitations and give them to some of my classmates.  Now there were two distinct classes of school kids, those who lived in the projects, and those who didn’t.  Because I chose to walk a very long circuitous route to school I could enter the school premises from the neighborhood of houses (which I thought was where the rich people lived), and not be distinguished as a “project kid”.  So that is what I did.  I just never mentioned where I lived.  My close friends knew I lived in the projects.  Most of my friends lived in the beautiful houses and were not allowed by their parents to venture into my home territory.  However, as I look back now I realize how kind they were to include me in their children’s birthday parties.  It seemed like all my friend’s parents liked me (or at least that was what I thought) and I was often asked to come over and play after school.  I found out quite quickly that my friends’ parents had some strict standards to abide by so for me, it was a positive learning tool.  One rule was that their children were not allowed to enter the projects, which was probably a very wise decision.

Back to my party.  I am still amazed when I look back and realize that the parents didn’t just send their kids over on foot (it was quite a maze to find the right apartment), but drove them over in a car.  Not only did they drive them, but a couple of them didn’t even leave the parking lot, which I could see from our small window on the second level of the building.  Knowing what I know now I would have probably carried out the same vigil.  But oh, was my party ever amazing!  There were probably six or eight other children present and I thought I was a princess.  It was the first time that I was the birthday girl.  It wasn’t fancy and we had no favors to pass out, but I do remember we played spin the tail on the donkey, with a real picture of a donkey!  And the one gift I remember receiving at my one and only birthday party was from Noreen Lakeman, the prettiest girl in the second grade class.  Her gift to me was a STORE BOUGHT SLIP!  It was silky, had little thin straps that could be adjusted and I thought I was in hog heaven.  I will never forget how it felt on my skin.  When I wore it (everyday) I just knew I was extra special and that everyone probably knew that I had on that beautiful slip.  I always wished the slip would show beneath my hem but by dresses were never short enough.  Dresses that others little girls wore were above their knees, mine would be mid-calf or longer and all home made.  Up until that 8th birthday my slips were all home sewn as well.  It was a wonderful birthday!  I made that slip last about two years.

And so, along the way birthdays became just another day with perhaps a remembrance of a cake and maybe a little gift of some sort, or not.  I made certain our children had small, age appropriate parties.  Few guests when they were younger, and more guest as they grew older.  We never really did much for Dave and me.  I did throw a huge surprise birthday party for Dave’s 40^th birthday, however I purposely gave it to him on his 39^th birthday to catch him off guard.  And, he was totally caught off guard because it was so out of the ordinary.  Our tried and true friends were all present, some from miles and miles away.  They simply stayed over night with us.  It was a big deal!  And it was fun.

Fast forward another 20 years or so and by that time I had almost totally forgotten to celebrate birthdays.  I never understood the celebration of life that a party commemorates.  When I was 8 years old it was all about the gifts.  And then I met a new friend.  We weren’t really very close at that time.  She is also a neighbor who lives through the woods.  Every birthday for several years I would a find a birthday gift magically appear on my door knob.  After we because closer I asked her why she remembered my birthday.  She told me something which was profound to me.  She said, “All of your birthdays should be celebrated to commemorate the fact that you were born.”  That was a startling discovery for me.  About that same time another very dear friend sent me a card that took my breath away.  I still have it but cannot remember verbatim the words on the card, but it went something like this on the front:  “Today celebrates an important event…” and when the card was opened it continued, “Because it was the day you were born and the world is a better place because of your birth”. 

That card, plus what my other friend told me, gave me a new way of looking at myself in relationship to my birthdays.  I realized I was of value because it was God who created me.  And he created me uniquely and with a purpose.  I now think of a person’s birth date as something very significant.  And actually it is.  Our days are numbered, and we do have a purpose.  I have learned to celebrate life every day, not just on my birthday.  And I want others to know that I honor the commemoration of their birth.

So enough about the birthday month.  (Except for the rest of the blog.)

YOUR BIRTH IS A GIFT OF LOVE

By Kathleen Martens

June 4, 2016

To give birth is quite a task,

If it is the mom you ask.

And so special to recall the joy

Regardless whether girl or boy.

Each child created uniquely by God,

With days numbered upon this sod.

From dust we were created.

And back to dust we are fated.

But in between God has a plan

For each child, each woman, each man.

God has a calling upon each soul

That should be our life long goal.

And because of that I do believe

Our special day should make one sing.

Our birthday comes but once a year

So mark the calendar as it nears.

And thank God daily, that in you He breathed

And planned a way you’d be ever free.

Realize your birth is a gift of love

From our precious Father up above.

Thank You God that You gave me the opportunity to be born that I might know You.

Thank You God for being such an awesome Creator.

Thank You Lord for the two precious lives you entrusted to Dave and me.

Thank You also for the birth of our two wonderful grandsons.

What an amazing Father You are.

Thank You God that I am in the palm of Your hand as I travel from dust to dust.

Thank You God for friends that changed my life by the beautiful words they said to me.

Thank You that I now know how to celebrate the beautiful gift of life You gave to me.

“Psalm 139:13-18

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.
¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
    How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ Were I to count them,
    they would outnumber the grains of sand—
    when I awake, I am still with you.”

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS YOU ON THIS WONDERFUL DAY!

P.S.  And now every year I throw myself a birthday party and celebrate with God and my family!  Now it is about the gracious gift of life that God has given me.

Friday June 3 2016  THE BIG FOUR ZERO

Quickly approaching is our daughter’s 40^th birthday.  The big 4—0.  As I look back and remember my approaching 40^th birthday I felt ancient.  For some reason I really did feel that way.  My 40’s were difficult years due to my intense work and my poor health.  Some of my maladies were actually from health situations I inherited, but most were due to my lifestyle.  I lived on caffeine, ate foods that were not healthy for me, loved chocolate and in one year gained 50 pounds.  I had what I believed to be one of the most demanding jobs possible.  The responsibility of my position was astronomical to me and I took it very seriously.  I was a day care provider who watched infants.  My employee and I would have a new batch of newborns and nurtured them until they were two years old.  Then we began with a new set of eight tiny precious babies.  It was back breaking, stressful, long hours, and under-appreciated by some of the parents, (others thought we were like magic) as we “graduated” happy and well-adjusted toddlers. 

It was a very serious position and I was always on alert.  I could tell endless stories of the good, the bad, and the smelly!  I think I may have even cared for a few of the “ugly” but I was never convinced after falling in love with each one.  As much as I loved them, I was never so happy to finally close my doors and step into the world of photography.  I began studying and learning photography long before I embarked on opening my own studio.  I never regretted beginning a new career when I was 50 years old.

And now my daughter is catching up to where I was.  She has a lot more going for her than I did at her age.  She belies her age in looks, has the body any twenty year old would covet, she has a wonderful husband (just as I had one too), two dogs, and no kids!  She too is on a new adventure in life training to become a general manager of an upscale restaurant.  Her job will probably be stressful, working long hours, and at times back breaking work.  She is currently training in Philadelphia but a problem has already cropped up.  The restaurant owner, who also owns the new restaurant opening in Florida, which our daughter will be managing, told her that several of his good employees in Philadelphia want to transfer to Florida so they can work for our daughter.  So, I guess that is a good thing.

As I sit back and think of the past 40 years it seems amazing that so much time has passed, and so quickly.  It has been an awesome experience to see the beautiful little baby girl we brought home from the hospital grow and mature into the beautiful woman she is today.  It has been interesting to see how she blossomed as an adult through her own self-discovery as the years accumulated.  Somehow she has always seemed to be older and wiser than her years.  It may have seemed more so to me because I never ever felt wise or grown up.  When I turned 55 years old I asked myself the question, am I now really grown up?  To be truthful, I don’t know if I am even yet.  And so I ask myself the question, how could I feel old at 40 and not even feel grown up.  Perhaps if I had felt grown up at 40 I might not have felt like I was so old.  If that is the case, then I now feel grown up, because I no longer feel old!  I am just the same me as I was when I was born, with lots of experiences, between then and now. 

This morning I was pondering the question “Who Am I”

This is how I noodled through it.

WHO AM I? 

By Kathleen Martens

June 3 2016

Am I the sum total of all my years?

The lost little girl who cried many tears?

A result of the adolescent years I had

When I felt like I wanted to kill my dad?

The one with young heartache giving up my love

Crying out desperately to God above?

Am I the young bride with the man of my dreams,

Forty three years passed, but yesterday it seems?

Am I the young woman caressing her babe

Who fulfilled my desire as a mother she made?

Am I the housewife going to work each day,

Worn out and overworked in life’s busy fray?

Am I the caretaker for the children of others,

Less time to be with my daughter and her brother?

Am I the passion that fueled my soul

Capturing memories to treasure, my photographer’s goal?

Am I now just simply old, no title, but free,

Retired and happy, so I can be just me?

So who am I and why was I born?

What purpose have I now older and worn?

And so I ask God what answer has He?

For just what reason did He create me?

And deep in my soul he spoke to my heart.

I was born for eternity so we would never part.

He told me I was the daughter of The King

And that our mutual love much joy would bring.

That I have a mission which before me stands,

To share His love with each woman, each man.

That my words will speak long after I’m gone,

So others will experience a bright new dawn.

He instructed me to comfort and always speak kind

So that God’s Word many would find.

To live simply with grace, and be a shining light

To help others survive their darkest nights.

And to reach out and touch and offer prayers,

So those who are hurting know someone else cares.

With intentional purpose I must run my race,

And with integrity intact help others to face

All the questions and doubts that nag at their heart,

So when they meet God they need not depart.

But the greatest answer God helped me to see

Was that He created me, to be me.

Born as a sinner to receive His grace

So that I one day will behold His face.

And though the world full of chaos and so wild,

His answer to me:  “YOU ARE MY CHILD”.

And so now I know exactly who I am.

I am a co-heir with Christ, I’m God’s precious lamb.

Thank You God that I was born a child of man, saved by grace, transformed into the Child of God, created that my words would be a beacon to the lost and hurting, that others too would have the opportunity to become sons and daughters of the King of kings.

GOOD NIGHT AND GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU!

P.S.  I emailed Rebecca this afternoon, along with a copy of today’s yet unpublished blog, and asked her if I could use this information in today’s publication.  I do not write things about others without first asking permission to do so.  Below is Rebecca’s response.  I thought I would include it so you can see why she touches my heart so.

“Hi Mom

Your blog is great. You forgot to mention that no matter how old your daughter gets she always needs her parents though and feels so blessed that she has them!! I love you both so very much!!! I’m so happy to read that and know you are in such a better place now than then. I am so proud of all you have done to get there and all that you continue to do to stay there. I love you Momma Bear!!! Xoxox”

Thursday June 2 2016   WEEDS!  WEEDS!  WEEDS!

The end of a long busy day.  As I walked down to my office to write my blog I noticed Dave was outside resting in his favorite chair on the patio.  If I can’t find Dave in the house I can usually locate him someplace in the yard.  He loves the yard.  He works so diligently to keep the yard looking beautiful.  He goes way and beyond what I could ever think of doing outside.  Over the years we have planted hundreds of plants to outline our lawn area and walkways from the ever encroaching woods.  Dave’s mission in life seems to be keeping the woods at bay.  It is a never ending job.  Especially when you acquire an invasive species like we did a few years ago.

I went out to join Dave in the cool of the evening so as to enjoy his company as well our backyard in pre-mosquito season.  We are so blessed to see what we see when we look outside.   I told Dave I didn’t have a blog topic, he looked out at the yard and said, “WEEDS, WEEDS, WEEDS!  That’s your topic.”  Between mowing, weed whacking, blowing off the debris of our ever shedding trees, he has been pulling weeds out by the roots.  More than two acres of wooded land is quite a large yard to keep up.

I sat down on the patio chair for a few moments before I spied weeds that were calling my name.  So I ended up weeding.  I pull out the easy ones that come up by the root.  We have had wonderful night rains this past week so the ground is soft and pliable.  When we go too many days between rains the ground becomes like hard rock.  Dave has taken advantage of the soft loamy soil these past few days to dig out as many of the weeds as possible.  He is doing a good job but he says it is a never ending battle with the two invasive species that we have.  Most people might surmise that all the forest is weeds, but that is truly not the case.  What grows in the woods would be considered weeds if they were growing in your perennial or annual gardens, but when native to this climate and habitat, they are not considered weeds when growing in the wild.

Tonight I included two photos that I took from my patio chair.  Photos can never truly depict the fragrance, serenity, beauty, and the melody of the woods.  I snapped a couple of shots on Dave’s Iphone to show you my bird’s eye view.

Not only do we have weeds growing in the yard, I feel as if we have weeds growing inside the house too.  All the stuff I keep bringing out from rooms and closets and drawers look like new weeds cropping up.  When I look at my once neat, and proper studio, I see piles and piles of new growth accumulating each day.  So, I plan to attack the inside like Dave is attacking the outside.  Constant and never giving up.    

WEEDS!  WEEDS!  WEEDS!

By Kathleen Martens

June 2, 2016

How many weeds

In one little seed?

One weed grows

And nobody knows.

Just one flower

Has lots of power.

For each bloom

Has increasing zoom.

One seed, one plant

With quite a slant.

One blossom creates pods

Hundreds on each rod.

Multiply one flower head

Which, when finally dead,

Impregnates the soil

So Dave has to toil.

It all started with just one

And now it is not fun.

So now the hundreds

Create conundrums,

Hours of toil

Digging roots from soil.

Oh well, after all is said

Someday too we will be dead.

Oh Adam and Eve

What was up your sleeve?

We all suffer pain

And the world is maimed.

God, thank You for all You provide on this earth through seeds.

Thank You Lord that when I walk into a grocery store there is food on the shelves.

Thank You too for the provisions we have so we can buy food to eat.

Thank You for sunshine.

Thank You for rain.

Thank You for quiet evenings like tonight so I could enjoy just being in your beautiful creation.

Thank You for turnips.

A LATE GOODNIGHT TO YOU.  MAY GOD RICHLY BLESS YOUR NIGHT AND TOMORROW.

Wednesday June 1 2016  GETTING RID OF “THINGS” AND THE JOY IT BRINGS

It is only 10:17 a.m. and I already have a topic for my blog.  Usually I come to the computer without a topic but my prayer time with the Lord set me on course today.  As my title indicates, it is again about getting rid of things.  If I bore you to tears on this topic just realize it too will end because eventually I will someday run out of things of which to discard.

What I have discovered is that each person’s dreams of a “simpler life” is different. For some, it may be to the extreme of living off the grid, to another downsizing the size of their home or moving into a condominium or apartment.  To others simplifying may mean staying right where they are and eliminating clutter of the unnecessary.  And to someone else it may just mean not doing, going, or being involved with so many outside endeavors.  And there will probably always be those who choose to live simpler by not doing anything at all differently than what they do already.

For me I have discovered that creating simplicity will take some effort.  So, I am choosing to do today what I would rather not have to do, so that in the future I can do what I would rather do.  And that something that I must do is disposing of all that is unnecessary for the life I want to carve out of the years I have left.  I have given deep soul searching as to what is important for me to accomplish before my race is complete.  As I spoke about recently, my desire is to leave a legacy behind me that will continue to bless others after I am gone. My legacy will not be riches or fame, but I hope the words I leave behind will comfort and inspire those who read them.  Daily I am working on my writing and I hope to publish some of my devotionals and poetry. I do this even as I go about the business of downsizing.  I find that it is all the little steps that lead to the finish line.

I believe that God is calling me forward to finish what I have begun.  I have books to compile and edit, I have accumulated bounty that must be sold or given away, I have two family photo albums to complete for my sister, and then all the photo work I would like to finish for my immediate family.  I have lives to minister to, people to comfort, many prayers to pray, and I desire to spend in quiet time with God.  It may sound like a lot but I will just take one day at a time and allow God to bring the people into my life that He chooses.  He always has a miraculous way of bringing people into my life, to both help and guide me, as well as those whose lives I can touch.

My focus must be on today in order to obtain my goal of simplifying.  Here is an excerpt from today’s journaling of what I believe the Lord was impressing upon my heart: “Stay focused on this day.  You are working for a goal and it will come in due time.  Be diligent with what must be done this day, this hour.  It is not to be looked at as a punishment of acquisition, but rather an eye opening experience that will teach you where to place your value.” 

Following is the poem that came after I finished my journal entry.

MORE TIME TO SPEND WITH FRIENDS

By Kathleen Martens

June 1, 2016  

What we own is but temporal lot

When all you want is more, more, more.

Things will eventually get the upper hand

And your spirit will cease to soar.

Look around and count the cost

At the hours of labor you’ve worked

So you could add just one more thing,

Which after a time you simply shirk.

As the mess grows higher and higher

And spreads in all directions,

You are no longer master of what you own

And for your stuff you lose affection.

But to get rid, just how is it done

With so many memories wrapped in things?

Touch it once and give it away,

Let people be the joy memory brings.

Think about what is really important

In the course of all you do.

Is it the things that you collect?

Or family and friends that come through?

Take a picture and let things go,

Tuck shared memories deep in your heart.

And when all the stuff is gone,

Memories of togetherness will not depart.

And your soul will feel much lighter,

Your purpose and goals will surface again.

You’ll have more time to leave your legacy

And more time to spend with friends.

My scripture for today:  Psalms 19:12-14

¹² But who can discern their own errors?
    Forgive my hidden faults.
¹³ Keep your servant also from willful sins;
    may they not rule over me.
Then I will be blameless,
    innocent of great transgression.

¹⁴ May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Have a wonderful day today discovering the simpler life that most suits you.

GOD BLESS YOU!