Tuesday March 15 2016  TO WHOM DO THEIR MINDS BELONG

Sometimes when in the library I go to the adolescent’s section to peruse what is on the shelf.  These books are for teens as young as 13 years old.  A few years ago, as I was eyeing the current selection, I came upon a book called, “THE HUNGER GAMES”.  After reading the jacket synopsis I was simply amazed at its contents being on the shelf for young teens.  I talked to the librarian about it to make certain it hadn’t been accidentally put on the shelf.  No, it was a book for the adolescent.  Many may recognize the title by the movies that were made to tell the story on the big screen.  It was violent, graphic, way beyond what I would even suspect to be a “General Audience or even a P.G.” movie at the theater.  I don’t remember what rating it was.  I will admit, I did read the book and was terrible sickened by the idea that young minds would be subject to this kind of writing, much less be able to see it on the screen. 

And I must go further and admit that I read the sequels…AND…SAW ALL THE MOVIES!  I look back now and I regret doing both.  There are thoughts and scenes that still torment me.  When I am exposed to the visual reality of what is in a book, I cannot get the visuals out of my mind.  I do not watch violence on television, nor even stress filled dramas.  I have learned that I can’t handle the tenseness.  But the part that really saddens me is to think that we now live in a society that believes it is okay to fill the minds of our children with such openly hostile killings and gore.  Our grandson is now 8 years old and reads chapter books.  To my horror I can just imagine him browsing through the teen’s section in a few short years and choosing just such a book as “THE HUNGER GAMES”.  When a book is obtained from the adolescent section  parents may not be overly concerned about what is in the book and might not think to check it out. 

My word of caution to any who have young children, adolescents, or teenagers, is to be sure and give a once over to any titles they bring home from the library, ESPECIALLY IF IT IS CLOAKED IN THE ADOLESCENT SECTION!  Perhaps books should be graded as to it’s content like a movie is.

I frequent the children’s section just to see what kind of books are being written.  They are certainly not the kind I read during my young adolescence.  Perhaps the minds of our children are so seared from the kinds of things they are allowed to watch on television and the kinds of video games they play, that violence is just the norm, and rather expected as part of the excitement.  How sad is that.  Childhood does not seem to last as long as it used to.

We did not allow our children access to television when they were in grammar and middle school.  By the time they were in high school it never became a priority.  We kept them busy with other activities such as sports and the arts.  Does that make us better parents? Probably not.  But it may have made our children better children.  We had friends who had children and we just cringed when we knew ahead of time that they were coming over with their children.  So many of them were rude, did not know how to speak with adults, overly rambunctious in a house, and just seemed delighted to cause consternation to other children, as well as not obeying their parents.  I still remember the quizzical looks our children gave to these kids as they observed their behavior.  They were not used to behaving in that manner and very rarely were they around others who behaved so atrociously.

When I give advice (usually advice that is not asked for) to parents, both back then and now, my suggestion is that if they remove television’s influence from their children’s lives they might be quite surprised at how different their children would behave and how different their family life would be.  Does that sound impossible in today’s world?  Maybe to those who use the tube as a babysitter.  But to parents who really care and are concerned about their children’s learning and behavior pattern, often time see the value in rearing their children with the values they choose, rather than the world’s values.  Never underestimate the amount of influence that television has on the young mind.

Though I doubt if my son will see this blog due to his busy schedule, I want to say to both him and his wife, that I am so grateful for them not allowing television to rule my grandsons’ lives.  Do the children enjoy T.V.  Just like any restricted pleasure, you bet they do.  For them television is a movie chosen by parents or grandparents as a treat, and we watch it with them.  When they come to our house they know that I always go and choose a movie for them to see.  Long ago I started choosing movies with real life characters and solid moral stories.  They were not really appreciated at first but they have come to love them.  What they don’t know, is that each movie is also a tool of learning.  We hold the control and the movie is paused quite frequently to ask them questions about the words they hear and may not know, about the situations which are happening that they might not comprehend the gist of, and to talk about the environment of where the movie is made, where it is in the country, why things are happening the way they are, etc.  One of the most astounding things we have discovered recently is the amazing understanding the children have of the vocabulary used in the move.  Occasionally they do not understand the complete concept of the movie but they are understanding the words and how they apply to the story.

Last weekend I mentioned in my blog how many compliments I received because of the excellent behavior of these two little grandsons.  I actually asked myself what is so amazing about the way they behave?  I would expect nothing less from them, just as I expected my own children to be considerate and well behaved in public.  Then, as I looked around I discovered that they were the exception, and not the rule.  In essence, their childhood has not been taken from them.  It has been given to them.  They have been nurtured, not with a boob tube, but with hands-on parental love.  They have been disciplined without breaking their spirit or being subjected to embarrassing situations.  They are instructed as to what kind of behavior is expected of them, BEFORE, they are in a situation.  Communication.  Words.  Smiles.  Love.  They all go together.

And I say to my son and his wife:

“Amy and Court:  Thank you for our grandsons’ childhoods!  Thank you for loving them tenderly and disciplining them fairly without provocation.  Not only are you giving a gift to your children as role models, you have also given us the opportunity to enjoy their gift of a childhood that you have not allowed the world to corrupt and tear apart.   And even above and beyond that, you have given a gift to future generations that follow.

“I am proud to be your mother, and mother-in-law to your wife.  And I am proud to be Gramma to your two fine boys!  Thank you for their childhood.  It is my greatest gift during these later years of life.  Thank you for sharing their childhood with us.”

I love the verse in the Bible (which I can’t find right now) that tells fathers to not provoke their children.  The influences of the world does enough to incite, aggravate, and irritate even the youngest members of our society without the help of the parent.  So much anger and hostility can be defused by as much of what is left unsaid, as by what is said.  It takes wisdom to know the difference.

This blog came from a sentence I listened to from a children’s story book that was suggested to me by the librarian of the children’s section.  I am not finished with it yet, but so far I would hesitate to have a child read it.  It is science fiction about the future and I am unsure if a young mind could really grasp the horror of what is taking place.  And then again, maybe the young mind is much more sophisticated that I give it credit.  Would I want my grandchildren to read it before adulthood?   I think not.  Since I am not finished with it I will withhold the title until it is done.  I will then come back and report to you my assessment as to what is being fed into the minds of our most vulnerable.

 

TO WHOM DO THEIR MINDS BELONG?

By Kathleen Martens

March 15, 2016

 

Little lives so vulnerable and young.

To whom do their minds belong?

Words written by a stranger’s hand

That they cannot yet understand?

 

Perhaps pictures of violence on screen

And lewd behavior that should be unseen?

Or the four letter words which are spewed

As the screen is intently viewed?

 

How do you recapture the innocence of youth

As they begin to lose a tooth?

Especially when childhood is so short

Should they now, with the world cavort?

 

What about their naive, innocent minds?

New information like sponges find.

So give them something wholesome and strong,

Tell them of God so they won’t go wrong.

 

Influence their behavior by what they see

From Mom and Dad, not from T.V..

Read them stories they can understand,

Not the filth that the world demands.

 

Protect their purity as long as you can

Plenty of time to become woman or man.

Let it be truth that rings in their heart,

So their foundation has a great start.

 

Sit down together at the table to sup.

When they walk in a room, let your eyes light up.

Let them know expectations and how to behave,

Tell them you love them every single day.

 

Slowly and surely when guided right

They’ll be strong enough to face their plight.

Teach them to think and reason things out

So they are calm, with no reason to shout.

 

Give them incentive and courage to see

The person that God intends them to be.

Teach them to be strong, brave, and pure

So the world’s corruption cannot lure.

 

Just a short time is all you own.

Only a bit of their life can you hone.

So send your prayers daily upward

And every word by God will be heard.

 

These childhood moments love and protect

And the knowledge of God on them project.

And in the meantime enjoy these years

And you be the one to wipe away their tears.

 

Hmm…Don’t know where that poem came from!  I can only thank God for the words He put on my heart today.  I have written these words from my heart.  Just be aware what your children are reading, who they spend time with, what movies they watch.  The world is different in many ways from when I was brought up over half a century ago.  WOW! HAS IT CHANGED.  I wish I could just give a little bit of yesteryear to my little grandsons.  Especially the time before T.V. and videos, and email, computers and cell phones.  I had time to get a lot done back then.  Hmmm…maybe this computer should go???

 

GOOD AFTERNOON TO ALL OF YOU.  I PRAY GOD’S BLESSINGS ON YOU.

 

P.S.  Though what I am about to write is a footnote, it is not a footnote in my heart of memories.  Today is the eleventh year anniversary of the day my dear friend Barbara Hook died after losing her battle to ovarian cancer.  Life has gone forward but Barb lives in my heart daily.  Today I celebrate her eleventh year of being with the Lord.  Somehow I don’t think she would want to leave where she is right now.