Saturday January 16 2016  OUR NEW BEGINNING

Well, I went to church this morning to attend a women’s brunch and had an hour sermon along with brunch.  It might have even been longer than an hour.  And it was good!  It spiraled me off course however for this weekend.  All day long it has seemed like Sunday.  I must draw myself back to pre-retirement-reality, and remind myself that it is only Saturday and tomorrow is the real Sunday Sabbath.  So when I re-gain a day (even if it is only in my mind) it feels as if I have a whole new day added to my life.  And believe me, I will take all the extra days I can get.

Life is going by too quickly and the years are quietly and quickly mounting.  I no longer think in hours or days, but rather in months and years.  No sooner does the last year get packed up before it is time to start unpacking this year’s times of celebration.  I find I must start much sooner in preparing for whatever is coming up because it takes me longer to do everything.  Why didn’t anyone ever tell me this was going to happen?  Okay, okay…one person did tell me, and like she always says, “You (meaning me) never listen and learn by what is said to you.  You always have to experience it to learn it.”  And I think she is right!  She is probably the one person in the world, other than my husband, who knows me best.  I’m learning sister, I really am.  And the list of what I am learning is long!

While at the brunch this morning I sat beside a beautiful young lady who is engaged to be married in four months.  She was delightful to talk to.  So young and so full of life and energy and anticipation of the future with the love of her life.  I love weddings!  I think that is why I have enjoyed being a wedding photographer for so long.  But, I am retired now and will not be working as a professional photographer any longer, other than my volunteer work at the hospital.  AND…I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I COMPLETELY FINISHED ALL THE WEDDING WORK FROM THE FINAL WEDDING.  Once I deliver the images I WILL TRULY AND COMPLETELY BE RETIRED!!!!  I notified the government that my business is closed.  SO NOW IT IS TAX TIME!

Back to the lovely bride to be.  As much as I don’t learn without experience, I emptied my heart out to this lovely young lady by giving all the wisdom I could muster in the short time we were together.  She was extremely polite.  She listened!  I hope some of it was worth it for her as she heads into her new role in life.  I wish her well. 

Even though I am extremely happy to finally be truly retired, I would be less than honest if I did not say that deep in my heart I do miss photographing weddings.  Each and every wedding was special to me.  My assistant and I usually traveled together to the weddings, as many were long distances away. We would always pray for the bride and groom as we traveled to the wedding.  We also prayed for the equipment, our alertness, and for our protection.   I could always feel God’s presence throughout the day.  Not all weddings were God based, so I prayed even more fervently, that the the couple would someday know the Lord.  The weddings days were always, busy, exciting, wonderful, and exhausting.  Some of my weddings were 12 hours on duty, with 90 minute travel times on both ends.  I never tired until it was all over and I was packed up, in the car, and ready to head home.  Then I could feel the adrenalin, and tension drain from me, leaving me in a state of exhaustion.  Years ago I used to do two and occasionally three weddings in one weekend.  That was in film days.  Digital photography is much more time consuming, both at the event, as well as post production work.  But now for me, it is over.  For that I am thankful.

Writing about the above, leads me to the thought that caused me to think about the end of my photography career.  I recently either heard or read this statement, “OUR LIVES ARE FULL OF ENDINGS”.  Over the years I have thought about that very concept as I watched my life unfold.  I’ve actually written a few poems about that topic, but I think it bears mentioning again. 

When we were young, even as little kids, we rarely thought about “endings”, but rather about new beginnings.  I have found that with each new beginning for someone, there is usually an ending of something else that is being left behind.  It begins on the day of birth.  It is new life for the baby, the end of a pregnancy for the mother.  And there are so many steps that build each year, creating new beginnings and new endings for both parent and child.  And here I am now, looking at the ending of something I loved to do, yet on the other hand, seeing new beginnings of a different kind of life.  About five years ago, my family doctor told me I was entering a stage in my life when I would be experiencing many losses.  Though I could see with my mind’s eye what he was talking about, I hadn’t experienced it yet.  But with each of those losses that he discussed I could also see new beginnings that would emerge.  As the years progress some of those losses may be catastrophic, such as losing a spouse, losing your memory, downsizing, limited function of body movements, giving up driving, poor health, and the list goes on.  But the way I look at it, each loss must come with a new beginning, a new normal, just as it did as we gave birth to our children and made more room in our heart and home for each child.  And we also experienced losses as well; children growing up (a good loss), empty nest syndrome, and so much more, but always a new beginning just ahead. 

Living in the world we sometimes try to reinvent ourselves when one phase of our life is over, rather than just accept the new beginning that God has already provided for us.  With each ending, each change, or each loss, I have found my glass half full rather than becoming half empty.  I choose to see all the possibilities yet to come, rather than dwell on the endings.  Endings are expected.  Endings are needed.  To me, endings are nothing more than new beginnings in disguise.  And what is so wonderful about endings and beginnings is that when we walk with God, who has no beginning and no ending, we have the assurance that He has been with us through all the paths we have traveled, through all the trials and struggles experienced, through all the beginnings and the endings we transitioned through, as well as promising to be with us for that which is to come.  We, as believers, do not ever need to reinvent ourselves, because God already did that for us through the blood of His Son’s sacrifice on the cross of Calvary.  We have been made new, and we are His Beloved sons and daughters.  Our “final ending” will actually be our NEW BEGINNING.  THE BEGINNING OF FOREVER WITH OUR LORD AND SAVIOR, FOR ALL ETERNITY.  How awesome it that!   Yes, a lot of things will change over the course of our lifetime, but the wonderful thing is, God never changes and our new beginning began when we accepted Christ as our Lord and Savior. AND WE NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE THAT BEHIND!  Come to think of it.  I think my glass is always full, regardless the circumstances.

OUR NEW BEGINNING

By Kathleen Martens

January 16 2016

This day’s beginning will have an end

As time progresses and darkness falls.

But some things will never change

When we answer God’s amazing call.

When our heart we give to Him

God leads and directs each day,

Through all the pain and trials of life,

Every moment He shows us the way.

So when this life on earth is done,

Even our death is not the end.

When it’s our time to be called home,

We will be greeted by our Truest Friend.

And heaven’s arms will open wide

As we see Christ in all His glory.

FOR OUR NEW BEGINNING, ACTUALLY BEGAN,

WITH REDEMPTION’S STORY!

Good night and God bless you!