Wednesday November 4 2015  EACH DAY IS A GIFT

Just how forgetful am I?  Well, I was informed that today is not my sister’s birthday.  Her birthday is November 7^th and I still have time to send a card.  So my dates all come into alignment.  Today is actually the day my father died when I was 17 years old.  My younger sister was 10.  My younger sister’s birthday was three days later.  So as not to have our father’s funeral on her birthday it was postponed until November 8^th.  All I will say about that time is that it was a difficult time and age for me.  But at least now I have things straight in my head.  (I’m sure my husband would have a wisecrack to say about that last sentence).

One thing I really enjoy about my husband is his quick humor.  There is never a day that goes by that he does not have me laughing and sometimes in stitches.  He has such rapid response with great one liners.  Our son takes after him in that trait.  I don’t know how their minds can work so quickly to have such rapid fire humorous responses.  I don’t know many people who have the retention power that my husband has.  His brain seems to store trivia.  He is a great Trivial Pursuit player.  I guess that is how he responds so quickly.  Usually he has me laughing before we are even out of bed.  His humor is not sarcastic and that’s what I enjoy about his quick wit.

These past few months have been very intense as far as illness, hospitalizations, and recuperation.  Through it all Dave has kept his sense of humor and has helped me through some of my own difficulties.  We are now facing another “setback” if one would call it that.  When I hurt my elbow yesterday it was a bit more serious than I expected.  I knew that is was extremely painful by nightfall but had no idea of the pain I would experience through the night.  I called the nurse on call through my insurance care and was connected with a doctor.  Of course everything is an emergency when you call in at night.  I didn’t take it as an “emergency” but as a time when I wanted direction as to how I should treat it until I could be seen.  I finally talked the doctor out of me going into the E.R..  He did make It clear that I would need to be seen this morning.  Well, when I called in at 8:00 a.m. my office had the information from the doctor on call and I was taken in quite early.  After examination of the swollen, immobile elbow, it was determined that I had torn my triceps on my right elbow.  My doctor did not believe it was totally severed so I am to have limited use of the arm with intermittent exercises to keep the elbow from freezing up.  The limited use is due to the fact that my arm will just not allow me to take my hand up to my face because of the excruciating pain that comes with it.  Not a fun experience.

It might seem at a time like this, when so much as happened over the past four months, that it would be the time when my circumstances might cloud my faith and perspective of who God is.  But the opposite is true.  It is during the difficult times that it is most important to keep my focus on exactly who God is and what He means in my life.  It is a time when I must rely on God and keep my eyes focused on the promises of His Word.  We are promised peace and joy through all circumstances.   God is always with me to give comfort and guide me on my journey through this life.  My hope and confidence is in the Lord.

The doctor informed me that this was a serious injury and would take weeks to recuperate.  “How many weeks?” my husband asked.  The doctor replied that it could take as long as two to six weeks.  Oh WOW!  At least I dodged a bullet.  If the muscle had been completely severed I would have had to have surgery and that would have been worse.  So now we have a household where my husband must not lift anything over 15 pounds, nor should he bend over repetitively, or walk on inclines.  And during the same time frame I cannot lift a spoon or toothbrush to my mouth, put on my earrings (the important matter), nor pick up much with my injured arm.  I can’t even pick up my camera and lift it to my face.  My arm just absolutely will not do it.  I do have motion in my hand and some flexibility in outward motions of my arm but it will not bend toward my face any higher than my chest.  One movement I am thankful for is that it does not bother me to be in a typing position here in front of the computer.  I can use my arm to the limit of the pain.  Even though that is not much it will allow me to continue making our meals, showering, careful dressing and hopefully driving.  I haven’t tried that yet.

Friday I have the conclusion of the school photo session.  I am not capable of doing what must be done.  I have already hired a fellow photographer who will come and set up for me and click the camera.  I wouldn’t even be able to fit the camera on the tripod due to its weight and bulk.  Between Dave and I we should be able to load the car.  I have one good arm and he can open the doors for me.  He said that between the two of us we are one whole person.  I disagreed.  I think my half is less than his half.  It is my purpose to keep him from overdoing it as I do not want a setback in all the patchwork that was performed during the surgery on his body.  Now his purpose is to keep me from overdoing it so I will heal properly.  What he doesn’t realize is that I have an internal monitor and it is not a matter of overdoing it for me, rather I am self-regulated by the limit that the pain sets for me.  And maybe that is a good thing.  I seem to obey pain better than I do people.

So I guess yesterday was a bit more exciting than I thought it was.  It is interesting how just one little thing that you do can set a cataclysmic course for the next few weeks.  I felt strong enough to do what needed to be done so I just did it.  I later told Dave that I think it is time that I start treating myself gently.  I will practice doing so.

Today was taken up with going to the doctor and sleeping all afternoon to make up for all the sleep I lost last night.  After lunch Dave’s Wednesday appointment met him here, I excused myself and laid down.  I don’t even remember my head hitting the pillow.  I slept long and deep.  Hopefully I will be able to get in a comfortable position with my arm tonight and thus sleep a bit better.  I am ever hopeful!

GOD GOES BEFORE ME

By Kathleen Martens

November 4, 2015

So thankful am I for my Heavenly Father,

Nothing is hidden from his view.

He knows all of my tomorrows,

And prepares me to get through.

He desires that I become aware

Of His presence throughout my day,

So that I will feel His comfort

When life doesn’t go my way.

Whatever comes He goes before

And gives me the strength I’ll need.

And He gives me such marvelous joy,

And my every step He leads.

He is my constant companion,

And my confidence is in Him.

He is the true beauty of my life,

A greater treasure than a costly gem.

It is so awesome to know that I never need to be defeated.  God knew me when He formed me in my mother’s womb.  He has never left my side.  I have no reason to doubt that He is with me now in this hour of difficult circumstances.  I need not worry or fret for God’s provision goes before me.  Won’t it just be awesome when we meet Him face to face?  Oh, how amazing that will be!  But until then (and I hope it is a long way off) I will trust in Him and take each day as it is given to me.  Each day is a gift and I accept it as such.

Good night and God bless you.

Tuesday November 3 2015  FELT WITH THE HEART

Work week at the Martens abode.  Well, at least for me.  It has been 10 days since Dave’s surgery and he still has seven more weeks before he is able to do more than walk and lift anything more than 15 pounds.  No bending, stooping, filling the dishwasher’s lower shelf, vacuuming, snow throwing, mopping, mowing or much else.  He can walk however.  He has been doing over 10,000 steps a day per his fitbit that he wears on his wrist.  He walks on the treadmill and then wears the carpet out in the house.  It was confirmed today at the Doctor’s office that Dave has officially lost 62 pounds since his hospitalization in July.

Today it was nice enough outside to walk in the street (remember, we don’t have sidewalks).  He walked while I cleaned the garage.  It was supposed to be a quick easy clean up, rearranging a few things, loading the goodwill bags in the car, preparing the potting shelf for food storage.  Well, it didn’t quite work out that way. 

I wasn’t going to write about this but for some reason it just seems pertinent to talk about what I did today.  We have two large blue quilted moving blankets that we use for winter insulation around the produce boxes that are kept in the garage.  Well, last spring (it was stilling snowing here) when I left on my big trip there was a lot of things happening all at once.  I was having a biopsy to see if I had cancer, the trip was postponed for the results, I was madly trying to pack and finish up wedding work, going to the doctor practically every day for some sort of testing, and I forgot about one very important matter.  Nor, in the course of 4 months did it even cross my mind to have Dave check it.  I left some produce in the garage all bundled up in the thick insulation blankets so it wouldn’t freeze.  The potting shelf is tucked back beside a freezer and not forefront in your mind as you come and go in the garage.  Well, today I went out to straighten things up, opened up the blanket and was assaulted in the olfactory area of my brain. P.U.!!  I won’t even begin to try to describe it to you.  Needless to say, I had a bit more work to do than I originally thought.  But I did it!  I will never again forget to make certain to put all organic matter elsewhere before I take off on another trip.  And of course Dave, being a man and not the one that takes care of the produce never gave it another thought.  And for four months while traveling, and the four months since I’ve been home, neither did I.  Between the garage and the laundry room I worked most of the afternoon.  Thankfully the other insulation blanket was okay.  The large one had to have a few washings and is now hanging on the neighbor’s outdoor clothesline.  I think I have learned my lesson.  Maybe the blanket will be dry by Thursday when our winter order arrives.

I wanted to clean the rest of the garage so I pulled the potting table out of the garage so it could dry in the sun after the scrubbing I gave it.  In the course of that action I somehow messed up my right elbow.  Now I type with an ice pack on it hoping it will allow it to again bend so I can get my hand to my mouth.  This is not a time when I have the luxury of being infirm.  Other than messing my elbow up it has been what my bloggers may think of as a dull day.  But to me there never seems to be a dull day around here.  I LOVE HAVING DULL DAYS.  Of course to me, what may be dull to others is never dull to me.  That’s when I sneak away and read and study and spend time with God and pray and write.  For me, that is an exciting day!   

As I was writing the little story of my day I started thinking about how the overlooked mess of last spring sort of relates to how our lives go.  Sometimes we have things we put on the back burner of our heart and mind; hurts, unforgiveness, anger, and a myriad of other situations, and then forget them for a while.  The trouble is, that which we do not take care of, does not allow us to forget them.  In some way they will eventually rear their head.  They may become worse as memory distorts them.  Just like in the case of my forgotten produce, that which is not tended will begin to spoil, become rancid, start smelling, and affect other conditions.  Stuffed emotional pain can lead to stress, illness, frustration, negative attitudes and will eventually need to be cleaned up.  And like my produce turning rancid, untended emotional pain can also begin to spoil affecting other areas of one’s life.  

Take time to take a deep look inside and check to see if there are those you need to forgive, if there is anger that needs to be let go of, or grudges that need to be dismissed.  Remember, when you get rid of all the stuffed emotional pain, it is you that it benefits, not necessarily the one you forgive.  I remember one time in my life that I held on to some painful memories and unforgiveness toward another.  This person was no longer living and I was still allowing the pain of the past to affect my life.  It wasn’t until I was actually able to forgive that person for the pain inflicted upon me that I was able to be free in my own spirit and get on with my life.  It wasn’t for the benefit of the person who had wronged me that I forgave, it was for the healing of my own inner heart.  If you have any emotional pain tied to another person, do yourself a favor and forgive them.  They may never know that you forgave them, but it is you who will be set free.  Don’t let it slowly cause you to decay and become rancid like my untended fruit.

I think today’s Calendar Wisdom above is right on.  “THE BEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD CANNOT BE SEEN OR EVEN TOUCHED.  THEY MUST BE FELT WITH THE HEART.”  I believe forgiveness is one of those beautiful things that must be felt with the heart.  I hold no animosity, anger or hurt toward the one who offended me.  Now I am free to be me, to feel the joy that life offers, to extend my love to others, and to have a relationship with God knowing I am living in the obedience of His scripture,  “and God forgives us our sin as we forgive others”.  Don’t let unforgiveness rob you of your peace of mind.  Don’t let anything rot inside you.  Take care of it in a timely manner, clean up the messes of your life, and go forth allowing the beautiful things of this life to be felt with your heart.  

FELT WITH THE HEART

By Kathleen Martens

November 3, 2015

Peace of mind is free indeed

Since Jesus died upon the tree.

He died for sorrow and for pain,

To live is Christ, to die is gain.

His Kingdom now has come,

And His will need be done,

Even while here on earth,

For in heaven is its worth.

He provides our bread

And we are daily fed.

He forgives our sins when we ask,

Never taking us to task.

For His is the kingdom power and glory,

Forever shall we tell His story,

That peace of mind is free indeed

Since Jesus died upon the tree.

The poem above is inspired by The Lord’s Prayer.  Now I know why I titled this blog FELT WITH THE HEART.  The Lord’s prayer is one of my favorite passages in the Bible and every time I read it or speak it aloud I truly feel it with my heart.  It is one of those beautiful things that cannot be seen or even touched.

TOMORROW IS MY SISTER FAITH’S BIRTHDAY.  AGAIN, A FORGETFUL SISTER AM I!  I FORGOT TO SEND A CARD.  SO I SAY WITH ALL MY HEART AND LOVE…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAITH NADINE!

LOVE,

WANDA KATHLEEN

Good night one and all.  

Monday November 2 2015  LAST DAYS OF SUMMER

It was warm enough to be outside today without a jacket.  I reveled in it.  Especially since I now know with a mediocrity of certainty that the warm weather will cease by Friday night.  On Thursday night the temperature is expected to drop to 48 degrees and on Friday night to 36 degrees.  That will help us out tremendously with all the farm produce that is coming our way.  We will receive 5 boxes total this week.  Two weeks later we will receive another collection of boxes, amount unknown.

We are so blessed to live in a country that has plenty of healthy choices to eat.  We are so grateful for the provisions that God has provided for us.  Never forget to say thank you to God for what you have.  As I go through the day I enjoy finding new things in which to be thankful for.  I believe a thankful heart adds health to my life and joy to my heart.  I try to never take anything I have or enjoy for granted.  One of my favorite thanks to give God is when I am in the shower and I feel the warm water coming from the showerhead.  I think of all the places in the world where water is scarce and must be carried from wells and streams in order to have it for personal use.  Never, ever take it for granted when you turn on a water faucet.  Stop throughout your day and look around you and think of new things to be thankful for.  I actually have a gratitude journal.  It is a separate journal dedicated to logging all the blessings I receive, and all that the Lord has provided for me to use and enjoy.  A couple of years ago I read a book about writing down all that we have to be thankful for.  I have well over 1,000.  I haven’t written in it much lately due to my schedule.  I look forward to getting back to it.  You might try it, it opens your eyes to all there is to be thankful for.  I wish I could remember the title of the book.  I’ll look it up later and post it at a later date.  It was a very interesting book.

Even though today was lovely and we are expecting three more wonderful days of lovely temperature, I am thankful that the cooler season is approaching just in time for us to store our vegetables in a safe temperature zone.

Yesterday’s rest did wonders for me today!  I felt quite refreshed and some of the body functions worked a bit better today.  I was able to get another portion of my desk organized and cleared so I have a place to spread out as I work on school orders.  I do not work efficiently with a cluttered desk.  I still had lots of mail to go through from earlier this year as well as the Branson getaway.  Fortunately, most of it was just things I wanted to take a peek at and were not important.  My throw away pile has grown and that is a good thing.  Now I just need to shred that which has personal information on it and I’ll be done with that clutter.  Slowly I am gaining control of the disarray.  It is a good feeling. 

Am I the only one that can make messes?  I never hear anyone else ever talking about their messes.  I can usually keep up with day to day life, but the whirlwind things like unpacking from long trips and going through all the papers and information of the areas I visited, is another thing.  Now I have another task ahead.  I must swap my wardrobe from summer to winter.  That is a big task.  I think I have too many clothes.  I hope to eliminate a lot while I make the swap.  In Wisconsin, seasonal changes constitute a whole different approach as to what attire you have in your closet.  We do not have a large walk in closet and only have room enough in the dressing area to hold what is needed for one season.  Each spring and fall we must do the switch over.  And believe me, it is not as easy as it sounds because I try to ferret out that which I didn’t wear much the prior year.  That will be my next task when I finish the school order, hopefully by the end of next week.  Dave is also going through his wardrobe.  Due to his weight loss of almost 60 pounds it is necessary for him to try on garments from several closets around the house.  Most of the clothes are way too big for him.  We have donated some clothes to the homeless in Madison as we were told large sizes are difficult to come by and there are quite a few who need them.  He has made the commitment to only keep what fits or is still too small.  As he loses more, hopefully, some of what he had from way back when, will still look okay on him.  And when he gets down to where he feels comfortable and settled, then we will have a shopping trip to outfit him in the correct, up to date, size and fashion.  He already looks so different.

When I do not do exciting things, I have nothing exciting to write about, so thus you get to hear about all the trivial things that happen in my life.  Sometimes trivial is very exciting to me.  Exciting because I love being home, I love it when nothing exciting is happening for a change, and I love it when my life would perhaps seem boring to others.  To me it is never boring to live.  It just might be boring for others to read about.  Sorry gang.  I promise not to do it too often.

Today I worked out, ate healthy, toiled diligently and only had a few telemarketing calls which I never answer.  Some days I receive upwards of ten or more such calls.  And we are on the no-call list!  Because my phone number is a business number they have the freedom to hassle me.  I just don’t answer if I don’t recognize the caller.  So if you ever call and I do not answer, please leave a message and I will return your call.  So all in all, this has been a productive day and I set no expectations and so therefore I was totally pleased with my accomplishments.  As you can tell, I am accomplishment oriented.  I don’t know if that is good or bad.  My mother was a hard worker and she taught me the value of being a good worker.  And, when it comes down to it, I enjoy being busy.

ONE THING I DON’T WANT TO BECOME

By Kathleen Martens

November 2, 2015

Just a little secret

I would like to share.

Being busy makes me happy,

And it doesn’t matter where.

If I can do, and do some more.

That’s just what I’ll do.

But to slow down is quite a task

For there is always something new.

But now I figure I must try

To slow my engine some.

It seems to be getting older,

And sitting down is fun.

At least for a short while

As I sit and write my blog.

One thing I don’t want to become

Is a bump on a log.

Do what you can for others

For it makes life worth living.

And great satisfaction found,

When to others you are giving.

Remember each day to be thankful for all you have, and even tell God how thankful you are.  Remember to do your best at whatever you do, AND DO IT AS UNTO THE LORD.  AND REMEMBER TO REST.  Our body needs a little TLC from all our toil.  I’m learning that!

May God bless and keep you.

Goodnight.

Sunday Sabbath November 1 2015  A DAY OF ACCOMPLISHMENT

I have found the answer!  If I want to have a day when I accomplish everything on my list, then I must make my list very short.  That is what I did today.  I realized that some of “my get up and go” had “got up and gone”.  These past four months have been quite taxing, both physically and emotionally, (not to mention mentally).  It was time for me to stop in my tracks.  So that is what I did today.  I guess you could say that I had come to the point where I needed a break.  By last night I realized that it had to be today.  I slept in until almost 8:00 a.m., listened to my sermon at home, did absolutely no work (except take the garbage containers to the street), did no cooking, rested long and hard in the afternoon, talked on the phone with a friend (oh yes, I did sweep the floor while on the phone), rested some more and decided it was time to get up and write my blog about all my accomplishments.  You see, I did accomplish everything I set out to do.  I had set out to do nothing and that is what I accomplished.  And it is a very satisfying feeling. 

Tomorrow is a new day.  I will put my running shoes on and not stop again until Friday afternoon!  But I will start out the week refreshed and that will be a good thing.  Who knows, since I am so refreshed perhaps I will be able to do post production work quicker and finish before the shoot on Friday.  Thanks to those who emailed and suggested I take a break.  I took your advice.  This was one of those rare days that are a gift in the interlude of life. 

Our wonderful neighbors are like knights in shining armor.  Again they have come to our rescue.  As I rested today I heard Sam on the roof blowing leaves out of the gutter.  Then later when my rest was over I looked out the window and saw that not only had she blown our gutters out, but had blown our front yard clean again!  She is absolutely amazing as is her partner Karen.  I hope we will have the opportunity to be as kind and considerate in return. 

We have two days of promised temperatures reaching into the low 70’s this week.  A bad time to have an “Indian” summer.  With my winter share box coming from the farm on Thursday we depend on the cold weather to cool our garage down to refrigerator temperature.  We have a potting table that we bring into the garage each fall to use as our outdoor refrigerator where we store all our winter vegetables we will be receiving this week.  The potting table was not used this year as I was not here, so Dave left it in the garage.  Any flat surface in our garage (including the floor) has the propensity to be covered with something if there is space.  And that is what happened to the table.  Two shelves full of stuff.  So that is one of my little jobs this week.  I must go out and reorganize, clear off, throw away, or do something else with what is there, before the Thursday delivery.  Oh how I wish God had allowed my organizational skills to follow me into the last third of my life.  I did pretty well as a younger woman with small children, but not so great these past years of incessant working.  When you own a business, the real truth is, that the business owns you.  I will be so happy when EVERYTHING is finished!!!  Including the sale of everything!  Back to the temperature however, I am praying that the forecast is wrong and the forecast drops considerable by Thursday.  However, those last two 70 degree days would be nice to live through. 

We have had enough cold already for me to realize that I am not acclimatizing as quickly as I usually do.  I wonder if that is because I had so much more of spring this year than usual.  Spring and summer here are usually so short that it is easier to acclimatize back to the cold.  This year my blood had a longer time to defrost.

I WILL NOT COMPLAIN

By Kathleen Martens

November 1, 2015

The cold of winter breathes its breath,

Warmth of sun is hidden.

The calendar beckons what is to come,

All because it’s bidden.

So soon the ice will still the veins

And fingers will become numb.

Mittens adorned will help a little,

And coats may benefit some.

No matter the layers one adorns

The cold seeps deep inside.

Muscles stiffen and joints will ache

As winter malady abides.

Red and burning frost bitten noses

Breathe between the wraps

Of mufflers and hats and woolen scarves.

And the cold our energy saps.

So to have a day that is seventy degrees,

Is like a breath of summer that remains.

I shall enjoy every moment that’s warm,

And of summer heat I will not complain.

Good night and God bless you (especially my neighbors).