Thursday November 19 2015  BECOMING ANONYMOUS

An exciting day.  Received our last shipment of produce from the farm.  I promise not to say too much about it but just wanted you to know that it makes for an exciting day.  To hear me write you would think that my delivered boxes are the only things we get to eat.  Not so.  It is just because I enjoy cooking so much it is a big thrill to have such fresh delicious vegetables to work with.  I wrote my sister a nice long email and told her all about everything relating to my boxes so that I would not need to write about it here. 

So, on to the title of this page, BECOMING ANONYMOUS.  I bring up this topic because this morning Dave brought up the subject using a little different term.  He asked me if I ever noticed how often it seems that the “younger generations” of this era seems to dismiss the older people.  He was quick to assure me that it wasn’t everyone who does, but quite a few who do.  Dave lamented how the younger crowd does not seem to want to talk to older people, ask their advice, or even consider what they say as valid or necessary.  I replied and said yes, I have noticed that a bit but I look at it rather differently.  I refer to it as becoming anonymous when we are in a crowd.  The synonyms for anonymous are:  nameless, unidentified, unnamed, unsigned, unspecified, unknown, secret, and mysterious.   

There was once a time in my life, when as a younger version of myself, I felt significant, attractive, full of energy, and purpose.  I remember the first time I was with my daughter, who was all grown up to the ripe age of a 16 year old, beautiful teenager, and I noticed the men eyeing her and not looking at me anymore.  The problem was, these men were my age and they had no business eyeing my daughter in such a way.  Well, as the years past I realize that now as an older woman, I sort of fade into the anonymous category. What’s worse is, the only men that do look at me now, are OLD!

The anonymous are those of us who lived long enough to have white hair, stooping shoulders, a slower walk, and wrinkles that come with our many years of life experience.  We become unidentified in a crowd.  We are unnamed, unspecified, and unknown as the synonyms aptly describe us.  But the truth of the matter is, there is a whole lot going on in the secret and mysterious departments.  There are some things that only life can teach, and purify, and cause to bloom.  There is a quiet wisdom that comes with age.  I might not have learned the “quiet” part yet, but hopefully some wisdom has settled in. 

I find that I think differently than I did as a young person (which is probably a good thing), I try to act differently (but probably haven’t mastered that yet either), and definitely have greater insight into most situations than I used to. I have found a quiet inner peace that I did not have as a younger woman.  I do not feel the need to be so forceful, so rushing, or so judgmental.  We, the anonymous may be slower, find it more difficult to find all our words, lack the vitality and energy which we once took for granted, but we have something so precious that the younger crowd cannot even comprehend.  I often look at the young and think how fortunate I am to be so old.  I have something that many of them may never have or experience.  And that one thing is time.  I have had the opportunity to live all of these years I have been on earth.  They only have the years they have lived and no promise of another day.  When we are young we never expect that we will die young.  We believe we will live forever but, yet neither will we ever become like all these old people walking so slowly and getting in the way.  To the young, the old have always been old.  But now that I am old, I can look back and know that once I was young.  And I am ever grateful that I have made it this far.  I will never take for granted one day of life given me and will thank God that I am now in the older crowd.

Life to me is still exciting and vibrant.  Perhaps even more than it was when I was younger because I do not have all the pressures to look so perfect, to perform, and to become what the world considers successful.  I still dream, and wish, and plan.  I still see and hear, but I see so much more vividly and I hear so much more deeply.  And there are things I know that the young have no clue about (and that may be a good thing).

Even though another day of life is not guaranteed we should plan and work as if we will live forever.  Remember the old saying:   “Plan as if you have forever.  Live today as if it is your last”.  That is what I do.  Actually, I do have forever and that is exactly what I am planning and living for in the here and now.  My forever part will be with my Lord and Savior.  My now part is to live in Gods’s will and for His glory. 

“Oh to be young again”!  That is not my mantra.  I am satisfied with where I am in life, with who I am, and with where I am going.  I don’t think many young people (me included at a younger age) can say that.  I look at the younger generation living in today’s world of entitlement, self-satisfaction, and indulgence and I am saddened for them.  As they pass me by, no longer realizing I am there, my heart goes out to them for their road ahead.  Life is not easy and never goes exactly as we plan it to.  Every decision we make each day has consequences of some kind at a later date, be they intended or unintended.  Yes, I can look back and see the great mistakes of my life rear their head, but I got through it.  I survived and I came out on top.  I only hope that the younger generations living in today’s troubled times will be able to do the same.

It’s really not so bad to be “anonymous”.  If I am not careful it could become too comfortable.  I think the less that is expected of a person the less they will do.  I never want to come to that point in my life.  Even if others expect nothing from me or out of me, I will still expect my standards of integrity, truth, compassion, and love to prevail deep in my heart.  Oh, but if we could instill that in the hearts of the new generations now growing up, how much better a place our world would be.  Someday they too will be in the anonymous crowd.  I wonder what will be in their hearts.  I wonder if anyone will ask them for their advice.

BECOMING ANONYMOUS

By Kathleen Martens

November 19 2015

Quite a somber topic

To discuss a lady’s age,

Especially when hair is white

And their expression sage.

It seems as if identity

Gets lost in the passage of time.

But what is really happening,

Inside becomes refined.

Though anonymous in a crowd,

It is secret and mysterious within.

It is the time when wisdom comes,

And you become your own best friend.

I hope what I have written seems clear and concise.  In no way do I want it to come across as degrading to we who are aging.  But I think it would behoove us to think about how we behave toward those who are a generation above us.  Even as we age we still appreciate being noticed and respected for who we are.  When all is said and done, the same me, still lives inside this older body today, that lived inside the younger version years ago.  When I look out I am still the same me, regardless my age.  

Good night and God bless all of you, both young and old!