Friday October 16 2015  A DAY FULL OF SURPRISES

CALENDAR WISDOM

FRIDAY OCTOBER 16, 2015

MAN WEIGHS YOUR ACTIONS

BUT GOD WEIGHS YOUR

INTENTIONS.

 I am sitting here at Aunt Esther’s table waiting to become inspired.  This has been a day filled with so many things that it is actually difficult to go back and remember all that happened.  I will try to reclaim some of the highlights.  I think a day that is filled with laughter just seems longer and sweeter than days when no laughter occurs.   I love to laugh but it is not as spontaneous for me as it is for some.  Today Dave captured one of those laughing moments on camera.  It makes me smile to look at myself laughing.  Immediately my mind drifts back to last week when every day seemed to be filled to over flowing with laughter.  Our almost eight year old grandson has about the greatest laugh in the world.  It is so quick in coming and so joyous in its sound.  It’s almost as if he can’t stop the laughter from coming.  We even tried an experiment where we all stood in a circle and just started laughing and didn’t stop until it all turned into “real” laughter.  Mostly we were laughing at each other trying to laugh.  It’s one of those situations where “you just had to be there”.

Hmm…I’m still not inspired.  Okay, I’ll go over my day.  Lots of talking this morning (oh, I’m beginning to get my inspiration) so we left later than we intended, to go over to visit my uncle Buddy.  My uncle is 90 years old.  He is quite remarkable in my book.  He was in World War II and was in Japan after the atomic bomb went off.  After the bomb settled he slept on the ground in the fallout debris.  As my aunt stated, he was never quite the same after that.  He has health issues that no one should ever have to live with.  It is difficult for him, but with some help coming in with food and housekeeping he is able to stay in his own home.  I believe that is very important to him.  His greatest handicap is that he is hearing impaired and cannot hear at all.  I had my computer with me as I had stopped on the way to his house and sat on the closed library steps bootlegging Wi-Fi from the atmosphere in order to publish yesterday’s blog.  I used my computer screen to type my side of the conversation and he would speak his side of the conversation.  Very easy way of communicating instead of writing long hand. 

While at Buddy’s house a visiting nurse came in with lots of questions and concerns.  I asked her if she would like me to type what she asked, so Buddy could read the text, and then he could answer verbally.  We worked in tandem like that for about one hour.  The nurse said it was extremely helpful and she was very grateful.  I will not discuss anything that was spoken in that conversation except one sentence of wisdom that came out of my uncle’s mouth.  He told the nurse “IT TAKES A LONG TIME FOR ME TO JUST DO NOTHING”.  It was said so innocently and not to be funny.  It was funny.  Funny because it is so true!  I have felt that way about some of my days.  I just didn’t know how to express what was happening (or not happening).

The realization I really had about this whole encounter with the nurse and Buddy is realizing that I am so close to his age and that what is happening in his life and aging process, is similar for millions, me included.  His conversation was full of surprises.  At the end of the conversation it was as if I had my eyes opened to another dimension.  The dimension of “old age” and what it truly means.  He is a bit more than 20 years ahead of Dave and I in the aging department.  Believe me, I had my eyes open today to a new reality.  Aging is happening, slowly but surely.  The older I become the quicker it seems to happen.  Some of what I learned today on the personal level, I will share at a future date (when the inspiration hits).  I think that we all, at one time or another, need a dose of reality.  I was certainly surprised with all the features that come with aging.  Stay tuned for future expounding.

Dave and I left and went shopping.  While we were out we searched for magnetic buttons at the request of Uncle Buddy.  Believe it or not we did find some (another surprise), but they were not appropriate for what he needed.  We went back to Buddy’s house to pick up Aunt Esther and ended up staying quite a bit longer.  On the way home we stopped by the gym that I worked out at in March while I was here.  And what a surprise when I walk in and see 6 foot 9 inch Matt Hall sitting behind the front counter.  I met Matt previously and had my photo taken with him only to find out later he was a football player who was recovering from an injury on his right triceps.  At that time he was playing for the Indianapolis Colts.  He was asked to play for the Denver Broncos but decided to retire due to the possibility of another injury to his arm that could result in permanent disability.  We had a nice chat and went on our way.  It was fun to see him again.  I am including a picture that Dave took of us together.  

My biggest surprise had not yet happened.  This evening after our meal was over I was informed that my cousin Dale, who just happens to be Esther’s son, was stopping by for a visit and to take Esther to the store.  It was really a great surprise.  Dale and I are very close in age and played together under our grandparent’s front porch steps each summer when we were young kids.  I have always dearly loved my cousin.  I was probably just a pain in his side but he seems to like me okay now.  We see each other so infrequently, and then, there are usually a lot of people around to sidetrack any and all conversations we might have.  Not so this evening.    We had a nice visit.  I probably learned more about his life tonight than I have in all the rest of my life combined.  He actually talked.  He is a man of few words!

Dale just retired a few months ago.  I asked him what he would like to tell others who are looking at retirement.  Here are Dale’s words of wisdom:  “Plan for your retirement early while you are still young.  Don’t depend on anyone else.  For the kids coming up now I think that is important!”  I am so happy that Dale was one of my surprises!  I was hoping to see him this trip but since he lives quite a ways away I didn’t know if it would happen.    I was sorry that his wife was unable to come with him.  Thank you Dale for coming.

IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME

By Kathleen Martens

October 16, 2015

Tongue in cheek is but a phrase

But for the old, the mouth is a maze.

Where sits the tongue when mouth is closed?

Take a look, you might be amazed.*

What does the hand?  Gnarled and worn?

When the body is forlorn?

What to do when you’re all alone,

And all your loved ones you now morn?

All the things one used to do

Takes much longer before you’re through.

You accomplish little and that’s a fact.

As moments of day become so few.

And you discover in all your huffing,

IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME TO DO NOTHING.

This poem was inspired by my Uncle Buddy’s words of wisdom: “IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME TO DO NOTHING”.  I think those words have great insight and are full of wisdom.  I am glad that we spent our time today with him.  I am also glad you spent these few moments reading about my delightfully, surprising day.  It was one of those days to be remembered!

May God bless and keep you!

P.S.  Dale informed me that Esther does indeed have Wi-Fi.  He recently cancelled it but didn’t think it had yet been removed.  He checked and it was still in operation.  Thus, I was able to get this blog published without going back to the Library steps.  That was a nice surprise!  So there you have it, my day full of surprises.

Thursday October 15 2015  THREE DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS

CALENDAR WISDOM

OCTOBER 15 2015

HAPPINESS RESIDES NOT IN

POSSESSIONS AND NOT IN GOLD.

THE FEELING OF HAPPINESS

DWELLS IN THE SOUL.

We have only three days and three nights to be here in Arkansas.  So every moment counts. The terrain we drove through today was breathtaking.  Autumn color has arrived to the Ozark Mountains.  As many times as I have come to Arkansas I don’t believe I have ever traveled through the mountains this late in the season.  It was simply spectacular but of course there were no places to stop on the winding, narrow mountain roads to take a photo.  It was afternoon as we came through the peak color areas and the sun was shining brilliantly through the rusts, ambers, and golds of the recently turned leaves.  I was doing the driving so I couldn’t just gawk as much as I would have liked, but I could not help but be enthralled with the colors that caught my eye.  For quite a way we were in a caravan of slow moving cars following a semitrailer truck up the laborious, snaking road.  It made it easier to see the wonders around me a bit better without someone honking the horn behind me (which did happen today).

We arrived at Aunt Esther’s by 3:00 p.m.  The back door was unlocked and no one was to be found when we walked in.  I checked every room and came across my sister Scarlett sleeping peacefully like Snow White.  I had called out when I arrived but she didn’t hear as she had her cochlear implant magnet unconnected.  She later awakened and reattached her magnet to the implant site so she could once again hear.  It is so amazing to be with her and be able to carry on a conversation with her.  Though I was with her a few days in March when I stopped by on my trip, I am still not used to her being able to hear and follow a conversation.  It is awesome!  We talked and laughed and ate together.  My aunt Vela also came so there were five of us.  Dave was outnumbered, 4 to 1.  But, he did his fair share of talking.

Dinner is over, the guests are gone, auntie is in bed, as is Dave, and I sit here writing a blog that I cannot publish tonight.  I will go to the library in the morning and hook onto their website in order to publish.  Can’t promise I will be able to do that every day since the library is closed on Saturday and Sunday.  We will be leaving on Sunday afternoon and I should then be back in the land of electronics and Wi-Fi.  Oh my, how simple life was before.

Life is different in this part of Arkansas.  If you were to ask me why I don’t know if I could really pin point the exact reason.  It just seems different.  In some aspects it’s like going back in time.  Houses are simpler, life seems slower, and less complicated.  It is popular for T.V. shows to demonstrate how to do a fixer upper and then decorate in the “country style”.  All I have to do is walk into one of my relative’s homes and I get that same warm cozy feeling of “a little bit of country”. The only thing is, their “little bit of country” is the real thing.  And even more than that, it is both inside and outside.  The houses are old, the furniture is old but has that aged comfortable look, and everything is authentic.  And…to make it even better…IT HAS NO WI-FI, no cable TV, no smart phones.  What it does have is lots of time for loving. 

I look up across the kitchen and see a beautiful photo of my mother taped to the wall above a photo of her brother.  Both are siblings to my aunt Esther and both are now in heaven.  Yet, their faces are on the wall as a reminder of the love my aunt still carries in her heart for her brother and sister who are no longer with her.  My mind wanders back to the day I snapped that photo of her in 2005 when I was staying with my mother here in Arkansas so my sisters could have a time of rest.  They were the primary caregivers, living with mama and caring for her through her years of dementia.  It was not an easy task but even though mama no longer recognized them or me, we knew who she was.  There was a lot of love and sacrifice my sisters gave through the years they tended her and I shall be forever grateful for their love and concern for our mother. 

I walked outside with a dishpan of cut up watermelon rind to scatter out in the field that once was a beautiful garden with both vegetables and flowers.  Aunt is 87 now and the garden is no more.  But, she still feeds the earth with the organic matter that comes from nature’s bounty.  Those rinds will decay and feed the birds and the insects.  Again, I was struck with nostalgia and a bit of melancholy at the same time.  I could still picture in my mind’s eye, on this very same garden plot, my mom walking down freshly turned soil with the rows ready to accept the seeds of purple hull peas she had in her pocket.  She walked slowly dropping a seed on the new mounds of dirt and then tamping each seed down with the blunt side of her ever present hoe.  Row after row she did the same motions over and over as if she were dancing to a tune in her heart that was in synchronization with Mother Earth.  My mom had a way with gardens.  Wherever she lived a garden area was always created.  I have written a story about her gardens but it is not edited as of yet but I will search for it when I get home and see if I can clean it up a bit and get it on the blog for you to read.  It is a sweet story.  My mother lived here with Esther for several years before dementia set in.  While here she primarily lived in the garden.  This place holds lots of memories that connect me with my mom.  Not only do I come home to Aunt Esther, but it is like coming home to my mother.

All too soon these days will be gone and Dave and I will leave.  I will leave my Aunt behind.  I will leave my sister behind.  I will leave tears behind.  But in my heart I will take the memories and love with me.

MEMORIES TUCKED IN MY HEART

By Kathleen Martens

October 15 2015

Memories and love, they have a way

Of being right where they are supposed to stay.

Tucked in my heart that follows my trail

So when I call them they never fail.

They never fail, but comfort give.

They offer joy wherever I live

And love overflows and makes room for more

And allows my heart to open its door.

When I recall, a sacred time,

My memory always tows the line.

I see the moment as if it is

It’s prompting perfect without quiz.

My treasure chest opens so I see

What’s in my heart that desires to be free.

And a little tidbit of yesterday’s pleasure

Is filed away for tomorrow’s treasure.

And then my memories I call by name

And they come to play their game.

Good night.  Cherish your memories.  Make new ones tomorrow. Live in the moment. (My wisdom)