Monday August 31 2015  WHERE WILL YOU BE?

 

A DAY OF MY OWN

By Kathleen Martens

August 31, 2015

 

A day of my own

How would it feel

With nothing to do

And full of zeal?

 

How would it be

To laze around

Unhurried and still

Flat on the ground?

 

And gaze at the sky

Watching clouds go by

And little winged birds

Take off and fly?

 

No phones to ring.

No deadlines to make.

With a clean house

For sanity’s sake?

 

No excess of stuff

Life lived simple

Like a quiet pond

Without a ripple?

 

One whole day

To call my own,

No need to hear

Any voice moan?

 

A beautiful dream

That would be bliss

If I knew how

That day I would kiss.

 

If I can imagine

Such a day can consist

If it can be thought of

I shall make it exist!

 

I just don’t know when

I will find the time.

But…oh well…

The dream is sublime.

 

So much for dreaming.  But, dreams can become realities.  First, I must think it, then plan it, then make preparations, then do it!  That simple!  That simple?  And a little guilt creeps in to think that I had four full months to do just what I wanted to do and now I desire, want, need(?), another day.  The only thing about my trip, there was never a day that I wasn’t doing something and usually A LOT OF SOMETHINGS!  I never knew that any one day could be so jam packed with all I put into a 24 hour period.  But, just between you and me, I really do long for a day such as my poem describes.  What would make it work for me, is if I could have my house so cleaned out, neat and orderly, and easy to use.  Then I would feel as if I could take the luxury of doing absolutely nothing for one entire day.  Maybe I’ll put that on my bucket list.

Speaking of “bucket lists”, there are quite a few things in my bucket already.  And…because of my trip this year I have a lot of items on my bucket list already accomplished.  It has only been in the past few years that I even heard the term “bucket list” and had it described to me as that which one wants to accomplish before they die.   I had never before really thought of having a list like that.  Since then, it has grown.  I have dreams and goals of certain things I hope to accomplish before I die and I guess those items could actually be plopped into the bucket too.  

I was at a doctor appointment today and had a few minutes to read a magazine.  One of the questions in the magazine pertained to accomplishing goals and dreams and it asked this question, “where, and how do you see yourself in twenty years?”.  That was a sobering question to me.  All of a sudden it made me realize that if I am on the road to 70 right now, in twenty years I’ll be on the road to 90.  Twenty years!  We moved into this house 29 years ago and it seems just like yesterday.  My kids were 7 and 10 years old and now they are middle aged.  If they are middle aged, what does that make me?  TWENTY YEARS?  Come on now, life couldn’t have passed as fast as it has!  If the past  30 years have flown by at such speed, and each year just gets faster and faster, how much more quickly will the next 20 years go by?  And come to think of it, WHERE WILL I BE?  HOW WILL I BE?

My brain made quick calculations and came up with all kinds of suggestive answers and questions.  More questions than answers.  I have become so adept at living life in the present moments that I don’t really “worry” about the future, where I’ll be, what I’ll be doing.  All I know is that I have the great hope of having some books compiled, everything in the computer, editing done, and the perfectly clean and neat house so that I have a lot more time to read and write.  But I will confess and tell you what the first things was that came to my mind when I read that question.  My first thought was, I hope to still have all my teeth.

Well, I’ll leave it at that because I have many more thoughts that I don’t think I can confess.  I will say it gave me pause to stop and think about how quickly time really is going by and how much I want to continue living and loving life to the fullest.  Maybe my house will never be emptied out, or cleaned to my hopes and dreams, or a hundred books written, but I will live each day enjoying it to the maximum just because I am alive and filled with the love and joy and peace of God.  I choose not to beat myself up over all that I don’t get done, that I would like to get done.  I choose to love myself so I can love others as I love myself.  I choose to continue to hope and dream no matter how long I live, for I have an eternal hope and the light never dims.  And I choose to take really good care of my old teeth!  Come to think of it, I have a teeth cleaning appointment tomorrow with my dentist that I have gone to for the past 29 years.  Come to think of it, he is getting quite old!  Oh dear!

When we moved to Wisconsin and started going to the Doctor’s office in our town of 3,000, I told my husband I wanted to choose someone younger than us.  Dave asked me why?  I told him because I wanted my doctor to outlive me so I wouldn’t have to choose another doctor.  So we chose the new doctor that came to town who looked about 16 years old, I kid you not.  He is still our doctor in the same little town that is now over 9,000.  The clinic moved directly across the street about 20 years ago.  I could handle that change.  He really was a green horn when we started going to him but Dave and I both agree that he is truly one of the most brilliant men we’ve ever met.  He is in his 50’s now and he recently told us that he is thinking of retiring.  TURNCOAT!  Well, I guess he still has a chance to outlive me, he just won’t be our doctor anymore.  I knew those doctors are paid too much money if they can choose to retire so young! 

I think I am writing just for fun tonight.  My day was busy, but without a lot of accomplishments.  Nothing to brag about.  8:00 a.m. doctor visit, returned something bad to the store that I just bought last night because it was on the way to where I was going, worked out, came home and made lunch for a friend who was coming in 30 minutes, had a nice lunch, visited awhile, then cleaned the kitchen, rested for one hour AND I WATCHED A T.V. SHOW while I rested, and now I am here, finishing my blog.  Oh yes, I do have something to brag about, I washed two loads of towels!  Yeah for me.  But I must confess, Dave just came upstairs with the towels all folded.  I can see him in the reflection of the French doors working in the kitchen.  It’s like having a mirror to spy with.

I leave you with the thought,  “WHERE and HOW do you see yourself in twenty years?”   Maybe it will help you get one of the items on your bucket list accomplished.

Good night.