Thursday July 30 2015  THE DAY IS DONE

GOD SEES THE ME INSIDE

By Kathleen Martens

July 30, 2015

8:24 P.M. 

The day is done.  Twilight is deepening.

Shadows gone. 

Quiet of evening graces my world.

I sit in solitude

Still able to see the nasturtiums

In the yard below.

As light fades

I peer out the window and I see

My face looking back at me,

A transparent self, I look beyond.

And I find myself asking

Who is that old woman who peers back at me?

Slowly,

Ever so slowly,

I am making her acquaintance.

Just as in my adolescent years

My body is again changing.

Once again

Altering my appearance.

New things I must get used to.

And by the time I get used to them,

They change again.

I again try to adapt

And soon realize

There is no adapting.

Only constant and surprising change.

And deep inside

There I am.

Young and vibrant.

Looking from the inside out

I am still the Me I’ve always been.

It is sad that that outside eyes

Looking in do not see the real me.

Others only see the shell

That houses my spirit.

I’m so glad that God sees the Me

Inside.

*******************************

Well, I don’t know where that poem came from.  Sounds like it was written by a melancholy old woman with too much time on her hands.  Well, part of it is correct.  I am the “old woman” but by far from being melancholy or with too much time on my hands.

I am trying to be a good patient and recuperate quickly.  The only thing is I keep forgetting I’m not supposed to be doing much with my upper body.  I am very allergic to internal sutures so this time the doctor did not mend me inside with stitches.  I just must be bound very tightly for two weeks so my internal incisions can grow back together.  Then I will go and have the outer sutures taken out.  Usually, even the outer sutures are dissolvable but not for me.  I have to have a follow-up ultra sound to look at all the tissue inside on August 25 (one month from the surgery).  That will show if there are any more growths taking place.

I said all that to say this.  I think I probably overdid it today.  I got out in the yard and pulled weeds (great big weeds) out by the roots for a couple of hours this morning.  Then I realized, oops, I better stop.  So I did.  Dave climbed to the roof and cleaned out the gutters while I pulled the weeds.  At 9:00 a.m. the man arrived to clean the windows.  He left at 5:00.  He worked all day without even taking a break.  I felt bad for him.  I didn’t even see him eat lunch.  The house sparkles now.  I love it.  At least for this week!  They do get dirty rather quickly here in the woods.

And of course today is Thursday…FOOD DAY!!!  I made corn chowder soup.  Be sure and scroll down and see my bounty!  It is delicious.  It has fresh thyme in it.  My fridge is full to overflowing so I will need to come up with some more recipes to make tomorrow.  I still have a little room left in my freezers.

We are having the Intimacy Conference (I mistakenly said in an earlier blog “Love Conference”) at church and Dave went both this morning and this evening.  Thus, my solitude that the poem above refers to.  It is nice sometimes to just be home alone.  I love being alone.  Probably because I know Dave will be coming home to me.  Oh yes, I also made a new Vegetable Strata today.  Same recipe.  It is in the fridge spending the night as instructed by the directions.  I will cook it in the morning.  Dave just loves this dish.  Our neighbor and good friends, John and Carolyn who live behind us, picked Dave up for church tonight since they were going to.  Church is 13 miles away so we ride with each other when convenient for both them and us.  I finally got the kitchen cleaned up of all the food stuff and fixings and then remembered I hadn’t written my blog.

Just so you know, I love writing my blog.  Some days I just don’ t have the time to really say all I would like to say.  And tonight is one of those nights.  I am tiring from being naughty and working too hard so I  must say goodnight.

July 30, 2015 Calendar wisdom:  “Wealthy is a double blessing when it’s used for the blessing of others.”

My wisdom: “And whether we see ourselves as wealthy or not, if we live in the United States and have a place to live and food to eat, we are wealthy to the world.  Never forget to give thanks to our God for every blessing we have.”