Tuesday June 30, 2015  DAY 118 THE CHOICES WE MAKE

Our lives are the sum total of the choices we make.

So where do I begin.  Or perhaps I should say, where do I end?  I had planned to take a lot of time just tonight reflecting on my trip but plans have a way of changing.  I was once told by a friend, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”.  That is pretty much how this entire trip has gone.  I make the plans and God takes me where He wants me to go and brings tome the people He wants me to meet.  And so it was tonight.  A good plan change, especially when God is in it.

I was up by 5:30 a.m. this morning and on the road by 7:30 a.m.  Traveling home.  I have never felt like I was traveling away from home but for the first time today I actually realized I was traveling toward home!  My entire trip has always felt like I was on my way home but now I realized I really am going to be home.  Tomorrow.  How did that happen so quickly?  After all, there is still so much to do.  These past four months have been an absolutely amazing gift to me.  A gift first from God because I believe He put the desire in my heart to make this journey and retrace my life, stopping to see all I could fit into the schedule, seeing people I haven’t seen for years who are growing old as I grow older, friends from my childhood when we were both still in diapers.  A friend of my heart who has been my friend since we were six years old, friends from high school, friends from my adolescence from church, my closest friend that I met when I was in college, my spiritual mentor when I was a young mother, my children’s day care provider who gave me peace of mind to work when my babies were young, the beloved lady who found Rebecca for us so we could adopt her, my daughter’s mother’s mother and her father’s father, my aunts,  my uncle, my cousins, my sisters, nieces and nephews and grandnieces and a new step grandnephew, and all the people I met along the way that I call “divine meetings”.  Divine meetings are the people I believe God intended me to meet for some purpose, for some reason.  And even today that happened.  Remember the one named James who knocked on my door when I wasn’t going to go anyplace that day?  If I wasn’t going out God would bring them to me.  Well today was another happenstance such as that.  I never know when these meetings will happen and sometimes when they are happening I don’t realize it until the meeting is ending.

I traveled from 7:30 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. when I arrived at the Capitol in Lincoln Nebraska.  I prayed for a close parking spot and God took to the very one that was just opening for me.  I stopped (on a very main thoroughfare, waited a second and a car pulled out exactly as if I knew she was going to pull out, left the empty space and with my little Grey Fox I was able to front drive right into the space and park it perfectly on the first try.  It was smack, dab in front of the Capitol building.  Two hour parking from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m..  No meter!  There were only three such spots on the street for public parking.  I was there 5 minutes before the next tour began.  Well, when I got inside I asked for the time and found out it wasn’t just the next tour at 3:00, it was actually the LAST TOUR at 4:00.  I had forgotten that there would be a time change.  I barely made it.  It was so worth it.  I have never seen a capitol such as this one.  I think I shall explain it at a later date if the opportunity arises n order to save time tonight.  But I will say that I again was allowed to go to the top of the capitol and take photos from a bird’s eye view.  I included a picture of the building, which I could get all in the frame, even when I tilted the camera, and one from the tower of a church and my car parked in front of the capitol.  The building inside is unique, creative, very symbolic and made me fall in love with Nebraska because of all the symbolism and plans that when in to designing something for the people of that state.  The building is an amazing gift to the citizens of Nebraska.  I hope they realize what their state stands for.

After the tour I came directly to my last night’s stay on the road, an Airbnb residence.  I have not stayed in one hotel room on my entire strip.  My Airbnb nights were from $40 a night to one that was a last minute booking and nothing else was available that cost $100 and it was ocean front property. The rest were about $50 or $60 per night and some were absolutely luxurious.  Hopefully I will never need to stay in a hotel again with the ease of booking with Airbnb.com.  You must have a background check, so if you are ever interested in using this service you would need to plan ahead so you have time for the background check before you leave on a trip.  Tonight I have an entire house minus one bedroom that is being rented out.  The other guest also has use of the house except for my room.  I am sitting and a lovely kitchen dining room table, comfortable in my surroundings, and feel very much at home.

I met the Airbnb host, Don, at the house and he helped carry my luggage upstairs, clean up a mess of spilled water in my car, showed me around the premise and where things were.  He was polite and delightful to talk to.  I am in a beautiful neighborhood with my car tucked in the driveway off the street and three dogs who live in a house built for a dog in the garage, air conditioning, couch, and accessibility to the back yard who will bark if anyone comes on the premise.  What more could I ask for?  Oh yes, free WIFI, a refrigerator stocked with boxes of drinks, cans of seltzer waters, water and several other things.  I don’t know if the other things belong to the other guest or if there is always milk and condiments and vegetable juice and butter available.  There is even food in the freezer but I didn’t feel like cooking a turkey tonight.  I did eat a popsicle, at least a little bit of it.  Hope they were for the offering, I can’t remember what he told me about those.  Oh well, it’s gone now, melted on my plate.  Thank you Don for the Popsicle if it was meant for me, and thank you even if it wasn’t.  But…my husband will be happy to know I DID NOT HAVE EVEN ONE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE and there is a big jar of all my old favorites.  It has been several years now that I haven’t been able to eat chocolate because of the caffeine, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want too.  However, because of the seriousness of eating it, I have promised Dave that I will not eat it.  It causes me to go into serious Atrial Fibrillation and he has had to witness my being defibrillated too many times.

As you can see by my description above I have a comfortable place to stay.  And the best part I even had great company for a while this evening.  Don and I started talking and he stayed later that I expected he would or that he expected he would.  He asked for my blog and pulled it up for him, ended up reading last nights because I felt like it might be something he would enjoy.  After I read it Don said he felt as if he was listening in a dream.  He had just mentioned to a friend the very things I discussed in my blog and he felt like this was confirmation that he was supposed to hear what I wrote and that it would make a difference in his life with some decisions he needs to make.  When I write, I think I am writing for my pleasure and over and over I find that God is using the words to help others in ways I never thought of.  God direct me to write, the day before I meet Don, and Don tells his friend this morning the situation about wanting to make some changes in his life, and then I read to him what it is he just discussed with statements that give him pause to think of what it is he should be doing.  Who knew but God, that our lives would be coming together today for this short meeting and have that transpire.

We serve a mighty God!  He never ceases to amaze me.  His protection, His love, His guidance, putting words in my heart to write, bringing the right person along that feels those words are for them personally is way more than just chance or happenstance.  I asked Don for his wisdom.  He said that this is something that he heard once.

Don’s wisdom: “Our lives are the sum total of the choices we make.”

Oh my goodness!  I so agree.  It goes along with the talk I did at church before I left about intentionally thinking about what we do and the outcome it will have on our lives tomorrow, next week, and next year.  Everything we do has consequences, intended or unintended.  What choice we make from thinking intentionally will create the sum total of who we are.  Think about the fact that we, you and I , do have choices.  Make choices, don’t just go through life and “let” things happen.  Become the sum total of being the best you, you can be.  There is no one else who can be a better “YOU” than you.  Make the choices that will give you the sum total of who you want to be, one choice at a time, one day at a time.  Remember they will all accumulate to create the sum total of who you are.  Thank you Don for sharing that wisdom with me today.  It was a pleasure to meet you.

Now, back to my trip.  This is my last night on the road.  Tomorrow is a new beginning.  Both for Dave and I.  His life as he has known it for the last 50 years will change.  He has worked for 50 years.  He worked his way through college and worked all our married life.  For me it will be different because I will have a man under foot full time for the first time in 42 years!  SMILE!  I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT! And there is no other man I would want under foot more than the man I married.  God shined down on me that day!  I too will be retired (actually as of December 31, 2014) once I finish post production on two weddings from last summer and fall, one senior portrait’s art work, and one newborn session.  About two months more of work, then the sale of my equipment, teardown of the studio, and emptying everything out!  There is always one more thing to do.  And I am so looking forward to getting it done.

But before I go to what I have on my calendar to do, I want to say I am not finished with the summation of my trip.  I just need more time to contemplate.  Don helped me tremendously to do just that.  I don’t think he even realized it.  He was the first person to actually take my phone in hand and look at every picture.  I sat beside him at the kitchen table and told him some of the stories and looking at the pictures and telling the stories brought them all back to me, made them come alive in my heart again.  I have lived these four months in total connection of the moment I was living in.  No thought about what had transpired and no worry about what was to come.  I did have to do some midterm scheduling a places to stay but other than that I lived in the moment.  As most of you know, I didn’t even have a minute to make phone calls because I was always so engaged in whatever I was doing, with whomever I was with.  Every moment of most of my days were extremely busy and full with people and places and activities.  Hopefully I will be able to reconnect by phone and in true life.  I look forward to seeing everyone again.

Thank you for your prayers and your comments on my emails and texts.  It has been an unbelievable four months. I am now ready for the rest of my life.

One last detail.  As many of you know my trip was postponed at the beginning due to my diagnosis of two breast lumps.  I must have surgery when I return home and it is scheduled for July 27^th.  I will be going in for surgery for a partial mastectomy with the possibility of a complete mastectomy depending upon the outcome of the mass on my chest wall being removed easily or not.  I have not had one day of stress, worry, or fear about this situation.  It shows no cancer but because it is a return of a previous mass it must come out.  It is also quite painful.  I have not lost any sleep over it and I have not really even thought much about it until now when the reality of it coming up has surfaced in my thoughts.  Well, I just wanted you all to know so that you could continue to pray for me, and know why you may not see me again for a period of time while I recover.

I plan to write a closure to my trip (was going to do that tonight) and will do it either tomorrow night or in the next few days.  If you are interested in reading it just check back.  I also plan to reorganize all that is in the blog and put it where it belongs.  Then, my next step it to include more poetry, both from past writings and from current and future writings.

I know I have asked for lots of wisdom from friends, family, and strangers.  I was going through some previous poetry I wrote and found one about wisdom.  I will share it with you tonight.  Remember that today is the day when you should make a choice that will take you one step closer to where you want to be.  And the most important decision you will ever make is to be sure and partner with God and let God direct  you as to what choices you make.

WISDOM IS THE TOOL

By Kathleen Martens

January 23, 2013

So much truth

You Give Lord

That we should

Seek to find.

Your Instruction…

As love from a Father.

Your Knowledge…

That which we learn.

Your Understanding…

So to comprehend.

And that which results

In use of knowledge, instruction, and understanding

Is Wisdom

The beautiful tool

That allows us

To use the knowledge, instruction and understanding

Which you have provided

In Your Living Word.